When the wind roared with such ferocity, when the storm whipped away all that you love. Know that we are together. And I will protect you, Because I am obliged to. Or I want to. Or maybe because we only have each other now. But I never wondered. I only did. I would shelter you, even when we are both wet and there is no meaning. I'm sorry that is all, I'm sorry we have only us.

The distance between us is inevitable. I would never sleep well for all I wonder is the choices I had to change it. If they even exist. Perhaps I could have reached in and understand. Understand your loss. But I know we share the same loss. So why do you choose to shun away from me. You can leave and run and hide. But when the sun is down, when the night looms overhead. Please come back. The worry is hurting me, you know I am alone. I know you're lonely. What for?

I don't want to take this lonely road by myself, but to find you, I am already alone. And I will try so hard in order to reunite with you again, but in that process. What have I lost? Please wait for me, I will come. I'll like to see the world ahead before you, before it's all gone. Even then, I will still come back for you.

And this road that I tread barefoot, there are hot coals and jabbing spikes. What I fear about the pain, is my weakness pulling me down. Then i would finally give up. Crumble into ashes. And I won't be there, by your side. It is not only for you. I need you too. But really. You don't know. The hot coals that you hurl at me. They singe my heart.

You are a precious gem in the rough that I lost without recognizing your value to me. What a stupid lie. I always knew. But you didn't. And here I would stop. This road is never-ending torture, and you are not even at the end of it. What am I walking towards? Oblivion. I have not given up, I simply accepted that there was nothing to give up for.

When I said I'll always come back to you, I meant it. But when you came back to me, you hurt me and drowned me in betrayal and loss. You are no longer who I once knew. You are gone. And standing in front of me, is a darkness engulfed in senseless hatred. Maybe when I stop walking this lonely road blindly with no end and means, I turned around and fell into a hole. Where you stabbed me in the dark.

And in the darkness I abandon pain. I abandon the very hope that we could still have each other. Perhaps you don't know yet.

Ayato Kirishma, I really hate you.

In the blasting cold, I clung onto the one thing that I know. I clung you down, and you shiver for my sake. Your body ache for my sake, and you fight for my sake. You keep walking down this meaningless road, carrying me. Holding me. Even if I drag you down. But you won't stop. I don't know why.

Can't you see this road is bare and we are alone. The two of us, staggering towards nothing. We are only ones who could help ourselves. Have you not learnt anything. Trust will be what yanks us into that gushing murky river. The river that will sweep away everything we know. Has your loss, our loss, not wake you up. We don't belong in this ugly world. To survive, we need to fight.

Weakness is what divides us. You are weak, like father. Your heart cannot stand solitude. You cling onto others for help. To change yourself, to lie to yourself. To help you. To help me. You don't understand us. We are the monsters, we don't try to fit in. We stand out and fight. And only when we gain power do we survive. The way you live, it's meaningless and weak. They path I choose, the path I run towards, it is the world where I belong. A world of our nature. And you are too weak to join.

When you know everything is wrong, you can't be right. Because what's right is to be wrong. You try to live in a pathetic illusion, trusting people and curbing your nature. Do you seriously think that's right. What do you really want. What do you want from this hateful world that gave you nothing. That robbed away our father, our mother. That deemed us as monsters. Why do you still try to please this world.

Don't come. Don't come and save me. I don't need to be saved by a fool. I am strong and the king. I can do whatever I like. And what I like is to screw this miserable world. You are in the way of everything. You are always in the way, in the way of me becoming myself, a monster. Why can't you see that the two of us could have been together, immensely powerful. And nobody can stop us. Instead you chose the cowardly route. A route of meaningless pain. Instead you left me. Left me when you always promised to be by my side. Left me as much as I would leave you.

Even though we are suppose to be with each other. The different paths we took stretch on and on. And the more we walk, the further we are from each other. We can't turn back. Once the decision is make, we could never be together anymore. And I don't know why I hate that. I hate that you left me. I hate that I left you. I hate that we are completely alone now. And it's all your fault. Even when I see you. I would say I hate you. But what I really am screaming, is that I hate our roles in this hateful world. That even as monsters, even as our everything was torn away, we have to hate each other. And this anger will blind me beyond reason.

I would hurt you, but I can't kill you.

Touka Kirishma, I hate that I can't hate you.