It had only been a few hours since she had run away from Severus after he had uttered that horrible word at her. Lily didn't want to see or speak to anybody, she didn't want to be given the same old "I told you so." And in truth, she wasn't even that surprised to hear Severus call her a Mudblood, she should have expected it. He walked around calling every Muggleborn except her the name, why should she be any different, and yet, it still stung that he would turn on her, the person who was supposed to be his best friend.
"Lily," it was him. The very last person that she wanted to see. Lily turned her back on Severus and got off the floor. She had ran until she found a deserted corridor and stayed there in the hopes that no one would find her for a while.
"Go away," she said.
"Lily, please, hear me out!" Severus exclaimed, and grabbed her wrist, preventing her from leaving. Listen, that was all Lily seemed to be doing whenever it came to Severus, listening to his excuses. But for some reason, he never seemed to hear any of the things that she had to say. That's not how friendships were supposed to work, was it?
"I didn't mean it, Lily. I'm sorry, it just slipped out, you know I didn't mean it, I take it back, it won't ever happen again!" Severus said, his grip on her wrist tightening. Lily said nothing, she looked Severus in the eye, looked at the panic on his face. The temptation to say it was alright, that she understood, and to forgive him was strong. He had been the one to tell Lily about magic, Severus had been her best friend for so long, she wanted to go back to being friends with him. Everyone made mistakes, and he apologized for them.
Severus, took her silence as acceptance and began prattling on about homework and Lily didn't know what else.
"So, how's that Potions-"
But Severus had never been sorry enough to not make the same mistake twice. You were supposed to never make the same mistake twice, you were supposed to learn, but Severus just didn't seem to be getting it. It wasn't Lily's job to forgive him for everything that he did, it wasn't her job to put up with the things that went against her values. She deserved better.
"No," she said, firm and loud. Severus stopped mid-sentence, a look of surprise on his face. Lily hadn't heard a word of what he had said, she was too busy being angry.
"I - what?"
"I said no, my silence does not mean yes, my silence does not mean that I forgive you. No, I don't accept your apology. No, we can't be friends anymore. You have crossed a line that you are never coming back from, my answer is no. Stay away from me," Lily said, her voice growing louder and louder with each word that left her mouth. She tore her wrist out of his grip and turned her back on Snape, leaving him there with his mouth hanging open.
"So what are you going to do, go and join Potter's fan club!" Snape shouted after her. Lily whirled around, eyes blazing, and threw her bag on the ground. In seconds her wand was in her hand and she was face to face with Snape.
"That is not what this is about, Potter is not the problem here and you know it! This is not about Potter, or Black, or Pettigrew, or Lupin, or anybody else, this is about you Snape. Don't you dare act like you're a saint compared to them, both of you have done horrible things, don't you dare act like you've done nothing wrong!" Lily yelled back at him. She was sick and tired of having to explain why Snape's actions were wrong, she was tired of taking his side in fights even though Snape was as wrong as the Marauders could be.
"Potter was not the one who hoisted up that first year Hufflepuff by their ankle upside down until they passed out and had to be sent to the hospital wing. Potter was not the one that had Mudblood written in pimples across that third year muggleborn Ravenclaw. Potter was not the one who ganged up on a small group of twelve-year-olds and proceeded to terrorize them to the point that they have to go and see a therapist now. Potter was not the one who nearly strangled my friend Mary with her own schools robes. Potter is not the one running around the school calling muggleborns Mudblood, and Potter would most certainly not turn on his friend like you," Lily went on.
"I am getting tired of having to explain why your actions are wrong, I shouldn't have to explain to you how to be a decent human being. It is not my job to hold your hand and forgive all of your mistakes, it is not my job to have to put up with the kind of person that you've become. You have chosen what kind of person you want to be, you have chosen the kind of path that you want to go down, I warned you about Avery and Mulciber, I told you what they were doing wasn't funny but you didn't even stop to think about the things that they've done before defending them. I deserve better, and even if I did decide to join the James Potter fan club, not that I'm doing it any time soon, but if I did want to join it, you of all people would be the last person to shame me for it."
"When was the last time you assaulted an innocent person in the hallways?" Lily demanded of Snape. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Lily knew for certain that it had been yesterday because she had been the one to put Snape's new friends in detention. The sight of him made her want to punch something, and Lily wasn't a violent person. Lily backed up and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, she didn't want to do something that she might regret no matter how strong the temptation was.
"How can I be friends with someone who does not listen to what I say, who does not take any of my concerns into consideration? How am I supposed to be friends with you when you've embraced the dark arts? What kind of explanation is there for being friends with someone who has joined a group of people working to wipe out everyone with blood like mine?" Lily asked him. "I'm doing you a favor, now you can go crawling back to your Death Eater friends without the stain of a Mudblood on your hands."
And Snape flinched when the word left Lily's mouth but she didn't care. If anyone had a right to call her a Mudblood, it was her, not some group made up of bigots who thought she was scum just because she didn't come from magical parents.
"Potter started it!" Snape finally managed to get out.
"Stop being such a child Snape and start owning up to the things that you've done, stop shrugging off the blame. The Marauders may be immature and downright mean on occasion, but they at least accept their blame, and at least they make an effort to learn about why their actions were shitty. You are a grown adult, not a small kid who doesn't know any better, and I am most certainly not your mother," Lily snapped. She walked away from Snape and picked up her bag.
"So you're going to throw away this many years of friendship over one word, is that it?" Snape yelled after her. And in that moment Lily knew that he hadn't understood a word that she said, that he never would understand. She had wasted so much of her time trying to make him comprehend where she was coming from and he still wasn't getting it.
"You still don't get it do you?" she asked, looking back at him before sighing and moving on.