Two OC warning. This oneshot has no relevance to a timeline of any of my stories both past and future. It is simply a hypothetical situation.

This little oneshot thing is for riptocs

Well, it's really for Kathryn because she's going through a rough time right now.

riptocs just asked for it because she's a special person. :)

So... Enjoy if at all possible. It really isn't that good because I've been mega busy.

First Person Kathryn!

I monitored my breath quietly as I crept across the floor of my bedroom. I had just emerged from the bathroom, because I took a shower out of extreme boredom, to see the door connecting my room to Danna's was wide open. Spurred by a sudden impulse to annoy, I got down on my hands and knees and began sneaking across the room.

I made it to Danna's room, internally grateful for once in my life that Deidara wasn't around so he wouldn't distract me, and I peeked inside, careful to stay hidden.

Danna had his back to me, poking at a puppet limb with some tweezers. I grinned and continued towards him, planning out my attack. I was about a foot away from him when he sighed and set down his puppet limb. I pouted, thinking he caught me, but instead he just rubbed the back of his neck.

"Danna!" I yelled, lunging at him. He grunted as I collided with him and braced himself on his workbench so he wouldn't face-plant into the surface. I latched onto him from behind and nommed on his ear, just to annoy him.

"Brat." He growled, glaring at me out of the corner of his eye. "What was that for?"

"You looked so bored and cute sitting in here all alone that I felt I needed to grace you with my presence and annoy you." I grinned, petting him. "Aren't I nice?"

He gave me a deadpan expression. "No."

I pouted. "Meany Danna."

"Off." He barked, moving his shoulders to let me know to let go of him. Danna obviously wasn't in a touchy mood today. He didn't like it when people touched him, though he put up with me like a champ. However, even he had a limit and obviously his limit was shortened today.

"You okay, Danna?" I asked, sitting beside him on his bench after I let him go.

He glanced at me. "Yeah. I'm just irritated."

"What for?" I wondered. "I just am."

He shrugged. "Why?"

"I don't like it when you're sad. It makes me sad." I told him.

I internally pouted. I had wanted to annoy Danna. He gets so cute when he's angry, even though it's a little scary. Plus, when he's angry, Deidara eggs him on and Deidara is so adorable when he's messing with Danna and he just gets even cuter when he runs away from Danna when we push him too far.

Usually, Dei carries me off to safety.

He's like my knight in shining armor.

How romantic?

Now I just want Deidara.

Cue drooling.

Danna snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Kathryn. Snap out of your perverted fantasies of Deidara. You're drooling."

"Oh! Sorry Danna." I smiled, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "What did you say again?"

He sighed. "I'm not sad. I just have a shorter fuse today."

I hugged him lightly and kissed his cheek. "Well I'll leave you alone since you're not having a good day. I love you Danna."

He patted my head. "I know."

"I'm gonna go fuck with Hidan." I chirped.

Smirking slightly, he nodded. "You do that."

I giggled and hopped to my feet before bouncing out of his room. I entered the hallway and began walking towards the kitchen, knowing that was Hidan's usual hangout when he wasn't doing rituals.

Why does he hang out in the kitchen?

Because that's where Alice usually is and that's where she makes food.

Hidan is like a dog, waiting for you to drop food on the floor.

But, I knew Alice wasn't in the kitchen. She was having a meeting with Pein, discussing important things because she's him ambassador now.

So, I peeked into the kitchen, pouted when I found now crazy, shirtless Jashinist but smiled and waved brightly when I saw a munching Uchiha. "Hi Itachi!"

Itachi looked up from his snack and dipped his head at me. "Hello Kathryn."

"What are ya doing?" I asked, skipping inside the kitchen.

He glanced at his food. "Eating."

"Why?" I wondered.

"Because I'm hungry?" He said slowly with a raised eyebrow.

I grinned. "Why don't you wait for Alice to make dinner?"

He shrugged. "She's still in a meeting and I am not going to count on her to make me food all the time. Besides, she is a bad mood today so I don't know if she's going to make anything or not. She might leave everyone to starve."

I cocked my head to the side. "Why is she in a bad mood?"

Itachi lifted his shoulder. "I have no idea. She just woke up in a bad mood." He picked at his teeth with his tongue before smirking a bit. "She already stabbed Hidan in the neck because he was bothering her."

Itachi really is evil.

He adores tormenting Hidan and when Hidan suffers, he finds pleasure in it.

I bet he's a sadist.

It would explain so much.

But… as Alice would say: He is a sexy sadist.

Just not as sexy as my Dei.

"Danna's in a bad mood too." I pointed out.

"Perhaps it is just one of those days." Itachi mused. "Were you looking for something when you came in here? Deidara is training with Kisame outside."

I nodded. "I know he's out there. He told me before he left. I was looking for Hidan. I'm bored so I want to annoy him."

Itachi chuckled. "He's in the living room."

"Thanks 'Tachi!" I smiled. He dipped his head silently and I took that as my cue to leave. I frolicked out of the kitchen and to the living room, throwing a glomp on Zetsu when I passed him in the hallway.

When I reached the living room, I beamed at seeing Hidan and Kakuzu in there, beside each other on the same couch. Well, Hidan was laying on it, cleaning his scythe, with his feet in Kakuzu's lap as he read.

"Hidan!" I grinned, throwing my hands up in the air.

Hidan raised his eyebrow at me. "Sup Skinny Bitch?"

"I'm bored!" I whined. "Entertain me!" I smiled brightly at Kakuzu. "Hi Kuzu."

He grunted at me while his partner glared. "Fuck you, slut. Entertain yourself."

"Okay." I chirped, jumping over the couch and landing on him. I pushed his scythe away from his hands and leaned over his torso so I could start squishing his cheeks together to make him look fat.

"Awe!" I cooed. "Hidan's chunky!"

He glared at me through his chunky cheeks. "I fucking hate you."

I giggled at his face and his voice as I looked over my shoulder at Kakuzu. "Look at Hidan Kakuzu. You need to tell him to lay off the ribs."

Kakuzu glanced around to humor me and his lips twitched slightly with amusement as he rolled his eyes. "I'll keep it in mind." He then returned his attention to his book.

I snickered and looked back at Hidan. "Now let's see what you look like with a pig nose."

Hidan rolled his eyes before tilting and forcing me off the couch and onto the floor. I yelped and crashed into the floor beside the couch. He laughed at me for a second before shaking his head at me and reaching for his scythe again.

I snatched it away before he could get it and I jumped to my feet, holding it close. "Give that back you stupid bitch." Hidan snapped, glaring at me.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Make me."

He started sitting up, lifting his feet out of Kakuzu's lap. I yelped, suddenly fearing my life, and took off out of the room with his scythe in my hand. I sprinted through the base, trying to get away from Hidan who I could hear swearing up and down at me while hunting for his weapon.

Hidan loves his scythe.

It's his baby.

And I just stole it.

He'll probably beat the crap out of me if he catches me.

Or he'll think about doing it. Alice and Deidara would skin him.

I drooled a bit at the mental image of Deidara blowing Hidan up, and because I was lost in my fantasy world complete with sexual images of a sexy Deidara without clothing and participating in explicit fantasies, I didn't notice a certain redhead exiting his room.

"Kathryn!" He snapped, waving his hand and locking onto me with chakra strings.

I yelped at the sudden stop and my eyes widened when I found myself inches from Danna's face. "Danna!"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "What the hell were you doing? You were running straight at me with…" he looked at the scythe in my arms, "with Hidan's scythe. Were you not paying attention? And I know I have told you not to run with sharp objects before brat."

I pouted. "I'm sorry Danna. I wasn't paying attention."

"Obviously." He scoffed, releasing me from his chakra strings. "What were you doing?" His gaze drifted south of my eyes and they rolled. "I'm guessing you were thinking of Deidara? You have drool on your lip."

I nodded sheepishly. "Yeah…"

"I don't want to know." He deadpanned. "Why do you have Hidan's scythe. And in what world is it okay for you to run around with a weapon?"

I pouted again. "Hidan was being a butt-face, so I stole his scythe."

Danna deadpan expression didn't falter as he sighed. "There is something severely wrong with you."

I beamed. "Yep!"

He shook his head and patted mine. "Deidara's in the kitchen. I'll escort you there since I need to talk to Alice and from the way Itachi's chakra shifted just now, she's there."

"Yay! Dei!" I cheered, bouncing up and down. "Let's go!" I grabbed his hand and dragged him along, grinning at the adorable way he rolled his eyes and sighed at my antics.

I dragged him to the kitchen and released him in the doorway when I saw Deidara. He had his back to me, allowing Alice administer first-aid to a cut on his arm. She was currently wrapping some bandages around it.

"Dei!" I cried, darting forward and jumping on his back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as I koala-clung to him. I then used my superior height to reach my head far enough around his shoulder so I could smother his face with kisses.

He chuckled deeply. "Hey Kathryn, un."

"Yo, idiot." Alice growled, narrowing her different colored eyes at me. "It's hard to tend to this cut in his arm when you're jumping on him and attempting to rape him."

"You can't rape the willing." Danna reminded smartly.

I dropped from his back. "Whoops."

Alice ignored me to look at Danna. I could see her bad mood disappearing, if only long enough to enjoy a sarcastic conversation with Danna. "That's what all rapists say. You would know."

"No I wouldn't. I've never had to force anyone into anything. Everyone I have ever associated with consents willingly. Everyone wants something from me." Danna corrected, his bad mood fading slightly as well.

Alice smirked. "Yeah. A piece of that ass."

Danna rolled his eyes. "You can look but you can't touch."

"That's not what you said last night." Alice said, continuing to wrap up Deidara's arm.

I pouted, their sarcasm making dirty images roll through my mind-movie. "I don't wanna imagine Alice and Danna making babies!"

"What?" Itachi questioned, walking into the room. He took in the amused gleams in Alice and Danna's eyes as well as me and Deidara's grossed out faces before he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Of course. I should have assumed."

"Hey babe." Alice greeted. She finished tending to Deidara and let him go. "There Dei. I'm done. Just be careful or the bandages and shit will fall off. Come see me before you guys go to sleep so I can put new ones on."

Deidara nodded and rumpled Alice's hair with a grin. "Thanks Alice, un."

She swatted his hand away. "You're welcome."

I raised my hand, a thought coming to mind.

Alice sighed. "Go ahead, Kathryn."

"How come Danna can't just heal him real quick?" I asked.

"Because he's an idiot, and I don't want to." Danna said with a shrug.

"Hey, un!" Deidara whined. "Danna! I wasn't going to ask you but you don't have to be mean, yeah."

Danna shrugged, utterly unconcerned.

I smiled. "You're so mean Danna and yet, so adorable."

He glared at me. "Shut up brat."

I pouted and joined Deidara in the emo corner while Itachi mocked up with his emotionless face that hid his mirth.

"There you fucking are!"

Everyone looked towards the door to see a livid Hidan. I raised my eyebrow at him, wondering why he was glaring at me like I had killed his best friend.

"What's your deal?" Alice asked.

Hidan pointed at me. "Give me my fucking scythe back!"

I cocked my head to the side before remembering something. I looked at my hand and my eyes landed on a pretty red scythe with three huge blades.

I paled.

Hidan marched towards me so I yelped and swung his blade blindly, closing my eyes, trying to avoid being sacrificed. I felt some resistance on the blade and a thick slicing sound reverberated through the room.

A moment later, laughing erupted from Alice and Deidara while Hidan started shouting loudly.

I opened my eyes to see Alice and Deidara pointing and laughing while Itachi and Sasori smirked at a beheaded Hidan.

"YOU BITCH!" He shouted, glaring at me. I looked between him and the scythe in my hands a few times before shrugging and setting the scythe down by his body. "Here you go Hidan! Thanks for letting me play with your scythe! I'm gonna go find Tobi so we can mess with Zetsu!"

I then skipped out of the room, the sound of laughter and Hidan's pained swearing were music to my ears.

Yeah. I told you it wasn't that good.

But Kathryn is more important than your opinions. She had to get surgery the other day because she had five tumors.

So this a decently important author's note for my readers/fans of Alice and Kathryn.

I have finally given in to the pestering and have decided to make a part three.

If you completely and utterly oppose this idea, review or message me or something and tell me why it would be a horrible idea because I can change my mind.

I'm kind of indifferent about doing it. I ended the story at a good spot in part two and I don't need to continue it unless you guys want me to. If you do, be sure to tell give me some feed back as to why I should and please throw some ideas at me because I'm close to out of them. I have a general storyline so that isn't a problem, but I can feed you guys filler chapters full of humor as well as smaller storyline ideas and stuff. Whatever you guys want.

The third part will take place when Tiburon is 4 and Sanaa is 3, almost 4 so there will be a decent time skip and I apologize for that, but I don't want to write a million chapters on pregnancy and babies shitting their pants. I know I said Alice and Kat had Aiko and Clay as well as Tiburon and Sanaa, but I will not be adding them into this story because I don't like having that many OCs. Four is more than enough for me.

I will be posting the first chapter of part three on February 6th. Don't ask me why, my OCD needs it to be that day. So, be sure to keep an eye out for it.

I am telling you all now that it will not be updated as quickly as my other two stories. I'm currently working two jobs so I have little to no time for myself and school is a bitch. So yeah... I'll try to update on a weekly basis and potentially twice a week if I am at all able to, but I'm not going to get your hopes up. It will be fairly moderately. There won't be like a month of no updates, I promise you all that.

But, anyways. Feedback makes me happy. Message me if you want to talk about the story or if you just want to chat, review if you just want to throw an opinion out there.