*coconuts banging in the distance*
King Arthur holds up his hand pretending to ride a horse. "Whoa!"
Aragorn pops out from behind a tree. "Dude, gimme the coconuts."
"Why should I?! Huh? Huh?" screamed Arthur in rage.
"You need a horse." Replied Aragorn in a cool tone.
"You are brave sir knight! Would you join me at my Court at Camelot?" asked
Arthur proudly.
"Camelot?!" said Aragorn while bursting out laughing.
"That is where I live. I am Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon, defeater of the
Saxons, the sovereign of all England!" said Arthur proudly.
"I'm king of Gondor," replied Aragorn.
"Then I give you my loyalty. Have you brought any knights with you?" asked
Arthur with a curious look.
"I will join your court at Camelot," Aragorn replied.
"You will? Oh good! Come patsy!" Arthur said happily
Aragorn looked at Arthur gravely. "I cannot stay for long though.
"What do you mean milord Aragorn?" asked Arthur in disarray.
"Well, I can't stay that long because I have some knights and people that
are going to stay with you while I'm in Gondor. They will tell me
everything that happens in your pathetic kingdom that you for now call
"Camelot"," said Aragorn smugly.
"That was long, boring, and pointless," said Arthur with a puzzled look on
his face.
"You want me to be more specific?" asked Aragorn Cooley.
"That would be well, helpful," said Arthur in an unsure tone.
"Just go and look for your little knights and I will watch. Then, when you
have all the knights of your round table, including me, then I will return
to Middle Earth, leaving you with two to four of my trusty knights. I can't
really decide which ones I want to give you though," said Aragorn in an odd
tone.
"That was a little bit more specific," squeaked Arthur.
"Yeah, whatever. By the way, where did you get the coconuts?" asked Aragorn
suddenly.
"I found them," replied Arthur
"You found them? Where?" inquired Aragorn.
"In Mercia," replied Arthur coldly. "Would you stop asking me these stupid
questions.
"Coconuts are tropical," said Aragorn
"So," replied Arthur.
"This is a temperate zone. Coconuts are tropical," replied Aragorn.
"Oh no! Not this!" screamed Arthur in a frightened voice.
"How could a coconut get here if it is tropical?" asked Aragorn.
"The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber
may seek warmer climates in winter, yet these are not strangers to our
land," replied Arthur.
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" asked Aragorn with a stern look.
"Not at all! They could be carried," replied Arthur with no trace of doubt
in his voice.
"What? A swallow carrying a coconut?" asked Aragorn.
"It could grip it by the husk," replied Arthur.
"It's not a matter of where it grips it, it's a matter of weight ratios. A
five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut," replied Aragorn in a
logical tone.
"Well it doesn't matter. We should probably start riding instead of sitting
here in front of this castle with equally obsessed coconut men in it," said
Arthur in a bored tone.
"Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity, a sparrow needs to beat
its wings forty-three times every second, right?" asked Aragorn.
"Please!" screamed Arthur in anger.
"Am I right?" asked Aragorn.
"I'm not interested!" screamed Arthur even louder.
Narrator: Suddenly a man slightly taller to Arthur jumps out from behind
Aragorn. Ok, he's a lot taller than Arthur.
"It could be carried by an African Swallow," said the man.
"Who the heck are you?!" screamed Arthur in rage.
"Oh, sorry, I'm Legolas, of the Woodland realm," said the man
intently.
"You are tall for a man," replied Arthur curiously.
"That's because I'm not a man. I am an elf. Did you not hear
"Of the Woodland Realm?" Anyways, Aragorn as you were saying," said Legolas
intently.
"Oh yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
swallow, that's my point," said Aragorn.
"Oh yeah, I agree with that," replied Legolas.
"Can we please get going? Do you want me to make you a
knight of my round table too? Will that make you leave me alone?" asked
Arthur in a pleading tone.
"I wanna be a knight!" screamed Legolas happily.
"Fine, I dub thee sir Legolas of Camelot," said Arthur in a
bored tone.
"But then of course African swallows are not migratory,"
said Aragorn while looking up at the large castle that they had been
standing in front of pointlessly for hours.
"Oh yeah...," replied Legolas.
"So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway," said
Aragorn.
"Can we please get going?" pleaded Arthur.
"We have to finish our conversation," Aragorn said while
giving him a cross look.
"Why can't you walk and talk at the same time?" asked
Arthur in a pleading tone.
"Oh yeah, I forgot we could do that," Aragorn said
shamefully.
"As I was saying, suppose two swallows carried it
together?" asked Legolas.
"No, they'd have to have it on a line," replied Aragorn.
"This is hopeless!" screamed Arthur.
Narrator: So Arthur dragged Aragorn and Legolas after him.
"Well simple, they could just use a strand of creeper!"
exclaimed Legolas as he was being dragged along.
"Would you shut up?!" screamed Arthur.
"What, held under the dorsal feathers?" asked Aragorn.
"Well why not?" Legolas asked happily.
"This is insane! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Arthur exclaimed.
King Arthur holds up his hand pretending to ride a horse. "Whoa!"
Aragorn pops out from behind a tree. "Dude, gimme the coconuts."
"Why should I?! Huh? Huh?" screamed Arthur in rage.
"You need a horse." Replied Aragorn in a cool tone.
"You are brave sir knight! Would you join me at my Court at Camelot?" asked
Arthur proudly.
"Camelot?!" said Aragorn while bursting out laughing.
"That is where I live. I am Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon, defeater of the
Saxons, the sovereign of all England!" said Arthur proudly.
"I'm king of Gondor," replied Aragorn.
"Then I give you my loyalty. Have you brought any knights with you?" asked
Arthur with a curious look.
"I will join your court at Camelot," Aragorn replied.
"You will? Oh good! Come patsy!" Arthur said happily
Aragorn looked at Arthur gravely. "I cannot stay for long though.
"What do you mean milord Aragorn?" asked Arthur in disarray.
"Well, I can't stay that long because I have some knights and people that
are going to stay with you while I'm in Gondor. They will tell me
everything that happens in your pathetic kingdom that you for now call
"Camelot"," said Aragorn smugly.
"That was long, boring, and pointless," said Arthur with a puzzled look on
his face.
"You want me to be more specific?" asked Aragorn Cooley.
"That would be well, helpful," said Arthur in an unsure tone.
"Just go and look for your little knights and I will watch. Then, when you
have all the knights of your round table, including me, then I will return
to Middle Earth, leaving you with two to four of my trusty knights. I can't
really decide which ones I want to give you though," said Aragorn in an odd
tone.
"That was a little bit more specific," squeaked Arthur.
"Yeah, whatever. By the way, where did you get the coconuts?" asked Aragorn
suddenly.
"I found them," replied Arthur
"You found them? Where?" inquired Aragorn.
"In Mercia," replied Arthur coldly. "Would you stop asking me these stupid
questions.
"Coconuts are tropical," said Aragorn
"So," replied Arthur.
"This is a temperate zone. Coconuts are tropical," replied Aragorn.
"Oh no! Not this!" screamed Arthur in a frightened voice.
"How could a coconut get here if it is tropical?" asked Aragorn.
"The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber
may seek warmer climates in winter, yet these are not strangers to our
land," replied Arthur.
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" asked Aragorn with a stern look.
"Not at all! They could be carried," replied Arthur with no trace of doubt
in his voice.
"What? A swallow carrying a coconut?" asked Aragorn.
"It could grip it by the husk," replied Arthur.
"It's not a matter of where it grips it, it's a matter of weight ratios. A
five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut," replied Aragorn in a
logical tone.
"Well it doesn't matter. We should probably start riding instead of sitting
here in front of this castle with equally obsessed coconut men in it," said
Arthur in a bored tone.
"Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity, a sparrow needs to beat
its wings forty-three times every second, right?" asked Aragorn.
"Please!" screamed Arthur in anger.
"Am I right?" asked Aragorn.
"I'm not interested!" screamed Arthur even louder.
Narrator: Suddenly a man slightly taller to Arthur jumps out from behind
Aragorn. Ok, he's a lot taller than Arthur.
"It could be carried by an African Swallow," said the man.
"Who the heck are you?!" screamed Arthur in rage.
"Oh, sorry, I'm Legolas, of the Woodland realm," said the man
intently.
"You are tall for a man," replied Arthur curiously.
"That's because I'm not a man. I am an elf. Did you not hear
"Of the Woodland Realm?" Anyways, Aragorn as you were saying," said Legolas
intently.
"Oh yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
swallow, that's my point," said Aragorn.
"Oh yeah, I agree with that," replied Legolas.
"Can we please get going? Do you want me to make you a
knight of my round table too? Will that make you leave me alone?" asked
Arthur in a pleading tone.
"I wanna be a knight!" screamed Legolas happily.
"Fine, I dub thee sir Legolas of Camelot," said Arthur in a
bored tone.
"But then of course African swallows are not migratory,"
said Aragorn while looking up at the large castle that they had been
standing in front of pointlessly for hours.
"Oh yeah...," replied Legolas.
"So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway," said
Aragorn.
"Can we please get going?" pleaded Arthur.
"We have to finish our conversation," Aragorn said while
giving him a cross look.
"Why can't you walk and talk at the same time?" asked
Arthur in a pleading tone.
"Oh yeah, I forgot we could do that," Aragorn said
shamefully.
"As I was saying, suppose two swallows carried it
together?" asked Legolas.
"No, they'd have to have it on a line," replied Aragorn.
"This is hopeless!" screamed Arthur.
Narrator: So Arthur dragged Aragorn and Legolas after him.
"Well simple, they could just use a strand of creeper!"
exclaimed Legolas as he was being dragged along.
"Would you shut up?!" screamed Arthur.
"What, held under the dorsal feathers?" asked Aragorn.
"Well why not?" Legolas asked happily.
"This is insane! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Arthur exclaimed.