THE LONE MARAUDER
Summery: Warning! Spoilers! Remus reflects on how much death has changed his life. Disclaimer: Don't own them, would be rich if I did. All charactors and such belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. A/N: I know that this has been done before, but I want to put my two cents in the pot.
"Sirius and James were the definition of best friends. They didn't tease me about reading a lot. They didn't tease me about being a prefect. In fact, they supported me. How many Christmas mornings did I find books from them? They even became illegal Anamagi for me. In my seventh year, my parents died. I took it very hard. I wouldn't eat or sleep or read. But Sirius and James came to my rescue. They made me eat. They made me sleep. They even picked out my clothes for me so I matched. They took me in, and wouldn't let me drown in sorrow. After the year ended, Sirius took me in while I looked for a job. They were my brothers.
"And then James and Lilly, his wife, died. Lilly I was close to, but James was my brother. His death tore me up. My brother, who was ten feet high and bulletproof, was mortal after all. And adding to the pain was the fact that Sirius was the secret keeper. Sirius, my roommate, my other brother, had told Voldemort where to find them. He stood back and let them die. He betrayed the trust that we all had in him. He let Lilly and James die.
"I spiraled into a deep depression. I knew that James's son, Harry had lived, but at that point, I didn't care. No one could bring me out, and trust me, they tried. I stopped reading. I stopped doing anything, really. I was down deep. My two best friends weren't there to help me this time, and my parents were gone. I hit rock bottom. I tried to kill myself. Those scars on my wrists are my shame. They still remind me of that dark place.
"I would have died that day if Dumbledore hadn't found me. He took me to St. Mungo's for treatment. After many days and nights of help, I began to see the light. James hadn't died a pointless death. He and Lilly died to save Harry. Harry became my new goal. I had to protect Harry, as the last Marauder. Harry became my life preserver, just as his father had.
"I had to get money for my new mission. But, being a werewolf, no one would hire me. My self-esteem suffered. I clutched harder to my Harry- life-saver, and gritted my teeth. Finally, Dumbledore asked me to teach at Hogwarts. Defence against the Dark Arts. Something I was good at! I accepted. Once again, I was were I needed to be. Sirius escaped from Azcaban, but I finally learned the truth. He wasn't secret keeper after all. It was another Marauder who was, Peter. Even though Peter escaped, Sirius and I became brothers once more. We clutched to the thought of saving Harry. We became closer than ever.
"That should have been the end of the story. It's not. A few days ago, Sirius died. He was killed by a Death Eater. He died in battle, which is little consolation. I'm the last of the Marauders. I'm all alone. But someone once told me that everything happens for a reason. I'm trying to see what good Sirius's death might hold. It's hard, but I'm trying. And I have some fear, too. All the other brothers have been killed. My fate might not be that different.
Sirius and James were my brothers. They were my true family. I trust that one day, we'll see each other again. Until then, I'm grabbing harder than ever to my Harry-life-vest, and swimming."
A/N: I want to thank some people. First, thank you to Spoogal, who first published the story for me. I doubt if s/he will ever know how much I appreciate everything. Second, to all those (3) people who reviewed while this was up under the forename's account. You have helped me realize that maybe I'm not that bad at this. Thank you. -m
Summery: Warning! Spoilers! Remus reflects on how much death has changed his life. Disclaimer: Don't own them, would be rich if I did. All charactors and such belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. A/N: I know that this has been done before, but I want to put my two cents in the pot.
"Sirius and James were the definition of best friends. They didn't tease me about reading a lot. They didn't tease me about being a prefect. In fact, they supported me. How many Christmas mornings did I find books from them? They even became illegal Anamagi for me. In my seventh year, my parents died. I took it very hard. I wouldn't eat or sleep or read. But Sirius and James came to my rescue. They made me eat. They made me sleep. They even picked out my clothes for me so I matched. They took me in, and wouldn't let me drown in sorrow. After the year ended, Sirius took me in while I looked for a job. They were my brothers.
"And then James and Lilly, his wife, died. Lilly I was close to, but James was my brother. His death tore me up. My brother, who was ten feet high and bulletproof, was mortal after all. And adding to the pain was the fact that Sirius was the secret keeper. Sirius, my roommate, my other brother, had told Voldemort where to find them. He stood back and let them die. He betrayed the trust that we all had in him. He let Lilly and James die.
"I spiraled into a deep depression. I knew that James's son, Harry had lived, but at that point, I didn't care. No one could bring me out, and trust me, they tried. I stopped reading. I stopped doing anything, really. I was down deep. My two best friends weren't there to help me this time, and my parents were gone. I hit rock bottom. I tried to kill myself. Those scars on my wrists are my shame. They still remind me of that dark place.
"I would have died that day if Dumbledore hadn't found me. He took me to St. Mungo's for treatment. After many days and nights of help, I began to see the light. James hadn't died a pointless death. He and Lilly died to save Harry. Harry became my new goal. I had to protect Harry, as the last Marauder. Harry became my life preserver, just as his father had.
"I had to get money for my new mission. But, being a werewolf, no one would hire me. My self-esteem suffered. I clutched harder to my Harry- life-saver, and gritted my teeth. Finally, Dumbledore asked me to teach at Hogwarts. Defence against the Dark Arts. Something I was good at! I accepted. Once again, I was were I needed to be. Sirius escaped from Azcaban, but I finally learned the truth. He wasn't secret keeper after all. It was another Marauder who was, Peter. Even though Peter escaped, Sirius and I became brothers once more. We clutched to the thought of saving Harry. We became closer than ever.
"That should have been the end of the story. It's not. A few days ago, Sirius died. He was killed by a Death Eater. He died in battle, which is little consolation. I'm the last of the Marauders. I'm all alone. But someone once told me that everything happens for a reason. I'm trying to see what good Sirius's death might hold. It's hard, but I'm trying. And I have some fear, too. All the other brothers have been killed. My fate might not be that different.
Sirius and James were my brothers. They were my true family. I trust that one day, we'll see each other again. Until then, I'm grabbing harder than ever to my Harry-life-vest, and swimming."
A/N: I want to thank some people. First, thank you to Spoogal, who first published the story for me. I doubt if s/he will ever know how much I appreciate everything. Second, to all those (3) people who reviewed while this was up under the forename's account. You have helped me realize that maybe I'm not that bad at this. Thank you. -m