*DISCLAIMER*
Because this was done purely for fun, needless to say, no one should take this parody seriously lest you be a complete idiot. Enjoy.
FIFTY SHADES OF SHITE
When Anastasia Swan moves to the gloomy town of Not-Forks-Yet-Still-In-Washington and meets the mysterious, alluring Christian Cullen, her life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. With his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family, Edward Grey is both irresistible and impenetrable. However, the vampiric CEO is tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control, and when the couple embarks on a daring physical affair, Bella Steele uncovers Christian Edward Cullen Grey's dark secrets, and it might be too late to turn back...
As erotic as IKEA instructions, unintentionally hilarious, and deeply bowel-moving, Fifty Shades of Shite is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever... like syphilis.
A/N: This is actually a reupload since it was taken down a few days by the FF admins for allegedly having content "above the current rating." If anything, the content is well below the current rating, seeing as there is no sex at all or any strong language (as of yet) that would warrant this being anywhere in the realm of 'M'. Therefore, I have decided to reupload this anyway.
Also, if either Stephanie Meyer or E.L. James are reading this and are planning to sue me for copyright, I should mention that I do not claim ownership of either Twilight or its ascended-FanFiction BDSM spinoff, Fifty Shades of Grey. You two can keep them.