Disclaimer: I don't own RB in any way, shape, or form.
Rated T, for no reason other than my paranoia.
A/N: This one just kind of hangs in time, sometime after everything what has already aired but not centered around a specific episode.
Just a quickie!
Pretty angsty; I'm not quite sure where it came from ... but it was one of those things that just refused to be left alone.
('You' refers to Andy.)
I hope you enjoy!
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You broke up with Luke.
He's an amazing guy – even if he's kind of married to his work, and he isn't quite as perfect as you first thought him to be – but he's not for you. You only really gave him a shot in the first place because you always go for the bad boy, and you always get hurt; you thought that if you went for the good guy, for once, it would turn out alright.
And it didn't turn out bad, per se … but it wasn't right for you.
Actually, you're more convinced that it wasn't right for him.
He's a good guy, he really is, and he deserves someone who isn't broken. He deserves someone who won't run away in the middle of the night; he deserves someone who isn't afraid of serious commitment; he deserves someone who doesn't have abandonment issues.
He deserves someone who won't go running to another guy in the middle of the night when there's trouble.
He deserves someone, basically, who is the opposite of you.
(You're broken; you've got both of your parents to thank for that. One walked out of your life without so much as a word when you were fourteen; the other started drowning his sorrows in scotch when you were sixteen. You've been nothing but disappointed your entire life. Eventually, you stopped expecting anything from anyone; because if you don't have any expectations, nobody can let you down, right? Only that one isn't really working for you yet; because you keep expecting so much of yourself, and you keep letting yourself down.)
He's too good for you.
So is Sam, when it comes down to it. At first glance he may not scream 'good guy', but you know that deep down he's pretty much as true as they come; (which makes him too good for you). Not to mention there's a very strict rule in place stating that you can't have a relationship with him, because you're a rookie and he's your training officer.
That doesn't stop you from wanting him, though.
You trust him; with your life, and with so much more.
And it terrifies you, really; because in your experience, every time you've trusted someone you've just set yourself up for disappointment.
When you look into his eyes, though, there's something telling you that he wouldn't let you down.
(That scares you, too … but not quite as much.)
It doesn't change the fact that there are rules, though, and you can't be together. (Even if you'd let yourself be, and he wanted you.)
You'll stay away, regardless …
Because you're broken; and – as much as you want him to – you don't think that you can be fixed.
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I wrote this the way I did because, as much as Andy and Sam totally belong together, I don't totally hate Luke.
And the things I wrote are not my opinion; merely what I am writing as Andy's opinion.
Please review!