The lights were off in the room I was in.

But I had my eyes closed so it was darker; his lips, so soft and so sweet, were pressed against mine. He didn't pull back until I did. I groaned and bucked my hips as I felt his fingers easing inside me, and I knew for sure he had already found my prostate. He spread both his finger and jabbed against the spot. I couldn't help but rock my hips to impale myself on those fingers, he gladly allowed me to do so before pushing his fingers deeper. I had my mouth opened and he knew I was gagging for air. He deliberately leaned down until he was close to my ear and his waist, purposely pushing up against his hand to feel like he was already inside me.

"Do you want more little Tenshi?" he asked his voice so thick and deep and sweet, I could only nod, those fingers stretched me even more before I gasped and clung to the table top. I could feel that he was smirking, content enough with the reaction he got out of me. His lips trailing down my throat leaving small pecks, finding my sweet spot, he began licking and sucking, making me dizzy. I felt my legs grow weak and if it wasn't for his strong grip around my waist I would have fell onto the desk. He held me up and pulled me up against his well toned chest.

Slowly he removed his fingers from my puckered hole, making me moan with need, I turned my head around, and looked into his eyes that were clouded with lust. I could feel myself trembling under his stern gaze. He unzipped his pants and gripped his member in his hand, bringing it up to rub his tip against my stretch hole; I arched my back with pleasure, heavy pants leaving my mouth as my mind went blank and all I could was hastily whisper a 'More'. He gripped my hair and pulled my head back, I couldn't help the little moan that escaped my lips, without a warning he rammed into me. So hard and so fast that I was left in a daze. My hole tightened around his member and I relaxed myself so he'd slip inside of me. He continued thrusting in and out, hitting my prostate each time. I had to bring up my hand over my mouth so that noisy moans or screams would be hushed.

"Like that don't you?" He kissed my left ear before nibbling on it; I only kept silent and whimpered for him. Each thrust leaving me more undone and willed to lose myself in this ecstasy.

He roamed his hand over my chest, making small patterns with his fingernail; he scraped my nipple and gave it a teasing rub. Twirling it between his fingers and pinching it. His other hand lifted my leg up and turned me halfway around to get in the position where he could see my face, he that told me once that he loved the face I made when I was about to come. I nearly gave out a scream as I felt his length twist around inside of me, he gave another hard thrust. I brought up my hand to hold his shoulder so that I could somewhat steady myself. I opened my mouth wide and moaned loudly, he pushed two fingers into my mouth as he gave me a low, hush for silence.

"We don't want to be caught doing it little Tenshi. Please be quieter. "He said with that dominating voice of his, He kept pushing into my sweet spot and I was seeing stars. His thrusts got harder and faster, hips kept moving and with one final strong jerk he came and his cum filled me inside. Slowly detaching himself, he gave me another hard kiss.

I yelped in surprise as he suddenly lifted me up and settled me over the table top with my legs spread wide. He stood behind me as his large hand took hold of my cock. Aching for release after being prepped and fucked. I mewled with pleasure and clenched my fist at my sides as I was stroked by him, my back arching slightly as he continued stroking me.

"You think I'd just fuck and leave you with a hard on throughout the hours? I would feel guilty, I'll milk you out until you stop cumming little Tenshi. Stroke you so hard you may even get hard again."

His hand stroking me faster now, I threw my head back in pleasure as I kept bucking my hips. I didn't want him to go faster, and he was purposely stroking me at that pace because I knew he wanted me to moan out in pleasure, I bit my lip to stop the noises from coming out of my mouth, his other hand gripped one of my balls and I bucked too hard against the table top, it made a loud screeching sound against the wooden floor. I was silently pleading for release, and as I came closer, I forced with every ounce of will power to resist moaning his name as I came in his hand. My cum was spewed across the table top as I fell onto him. Too exhausted.

I kept panting and held myself up with my elbows on the table without his support behind me anymore.

"Until tomorrow little Tenshi. I think you're a little too excited today. I look forward to seeing if you're still up to it." He chuckled against my ear, his warm breath sending shivers across my petite figure. He left me in the dark room alone.

I finally sat up and cleaned up my mess with only the handkerchief I had at the moment. I slipped back on my pants and rigidly limped over to the sliding doors. Before I exited the room, I noticed how out of place my uniform looked. So I tugged on my shirt to fix it, pulled on my uniform jacket when the bell rung, fixed my tie and brushed my fingers through my hair to settle them down. I finally walked out of the room and left the hall quickly so no one would notice me walking out of the private tutoring room.

Luckily the hallway was empty, so I quickly walked to my next hour, when I was at the door of my fifth hour. The teacher hadn't come yet, so quickly took my seat. The moment I sat down I felt pain zing through my lower bottom before I tried relaxing some more in the desk.

"Fuji, where did you go last hour?"

I lifted my head up to see Eiji skeptically looking at me. My bangs somewhat hid my face and I hoped Eiji didn't see the redness of my cheeks. He was only inches away from me. I just smiled and lied about where I was and tried to avoid him from asking more questions. He didn't exactly observe me, just talked. I'm glad that Eiji is really dense at times. The bell rung again and class was in session as many students took their seats. But our teacher hadn't come yet. I was kind of glad, I really wasn't in one of my best moods and I don't thinking listening to a monotone lecture for an hour would do any good to me.

I zoned out as I looked outside the window, I wasn't really looking at anything, just thinking. How had I got myself in this mess I couldn't bail out of? Trying to keep my feelings for Tezuka at bay, I fell right into deep waters.

The doors to our room opened as the sensei came in loaded with piles of paper.

"Oh my, someone ought to switch class hours with me so I don't fall and kill myself!" I wish that he would just start teaching so I could sleep for some while. I do that all that time, nobody notices as I always have this smile on my face and my upturned eyes closed. Well I think Eiji noticed but he doesn't say anything.

"Oh Fuji dear, I need you to do me a favor please! I do not want to walk all the way back and forth; can you please send this to Goldmine Sensei?"

I grumbled low, forced myself to sit up and walk all the way down the aisle of students and out the door. I hoped nobody paid much attention to me, but that's just ostensible, these people drooled on my looks, it would be no surprise if they were staring at me as I made my way out. I was in pain with each step, so I slowly walked my way to Goldmine Sensei's classroom. The class Tezuka was in.

I guess fate likes to play these kinds of games with me. Like 'how much I could take before I finally break'.

Signing I slid open the door to class 10 b. There, he was sitting in the row near the window, the same seat that I have. He was so mesmerized with the book he was reading, he didn't even notice that I had walked into the classroom.

I greeted the sensei, gave him the book and walked out but not before looking at him once again. There, he was staring at me with his lips slightly apart, seemingly shocked. I had to stifle an amused chuckle. So the stoic buchou of Seigaku gakuen was capable of displaying what was known to all as the human emotions. It was clear by his looks that he wanted to talk about something, well, whatever it was it could wait.

Moving out of the class, to the deserted hallways. I had learned long ago that being alone with my thoughts was dangerous for me. The poisonous thoughts trapped in the shallows of my mind tried to destroy the thread of sanity by which I was hanging. These thoughts often remind me how worthless I am and how I deserve each one of those cuts adorned on my wrists. These toxic thoughts that make it hard to breathe. And the cherry on the top was that nobody cared. I was just a pretty face to look at. How nobody noticed was either a miracle or everyone was just painfully ignorant. I wasn't sure which but apparently for them; there wasn't anything wrong with the 'Tensai'. I scoffed at my so called title. So much for being the tensai.

I was breaking, little by little, by gestures that I showed I didn't mind, by the words I tried to shrug off. But alone in the darkness of my room I found myself curled up and crying, hand over my ears, eyes squeezed shut and mumbling incoherent words. More and more often with fingers down my throat puking the only thing I ate the whole day, skipping meals. My façade was cracking.

'I realized I was thinking about you, and I began to wonder how long you have been on my mind,

Then it occurred to me, ever since I have met you I have never left your side'

Ne, Tezuka,I tried to move on, trust me I tried. There were moments you made me really, really happy, but there were moments when you completely shut me out. That's why is swear I'll try and get over you. We might have had something really great, but I guess we'll never know.

'The indefatigable pursuit of an unattainable perfection, even though it consists of nothing more than

Pounding of an old piano, is what alone gives meaning to our life on this unavailing star'

I haven't found my true self yet, I don't know where the real me dwells, but I know that I'm more me when I am with you. I know that I came to love you more.

Love. Something I don't understand, yet I stood here encapsulated by it. Love is such a drug. I don't know how it works or what happens, yet I come back needing more, asking for more. I loved him but love wasn't enough. All the fairytales, the romance novels, the soap opera are all lies. Love doesn't conquer all. Yet it hurts, knowing that Tezuka would never reciprocate my feeling, he is too pure, and Tezuka is a model student, captain, and friend. He is stern, but kind. He is… moral. And damn it all to hell, but he is probably even straight. Tezuka would never accept this. Two boys loving each other. It was frowned upon, a sin.

And yet they say. If it's a sin, love your sin and you'll be innocent.