Just a little note: This will be retconning the event that happened in the first season of Fullmetal Madness Chapter 16.

Prologue: Two Wrongs Made a Right

BOOM!

Hank turns to his left and sees a red flash followed by grey smoke covering the room. Through the dust and mist he spots two monsters, one in with grotesque entrails escaping it's mouth and the other, slender, attractive succubus with elongated fingers aimed right towards his eyes.

He turns to the alchemists, his voice quaking. "Start the jump!"

"What about your friends?" The short one asks as the other in armor transmutates a sword from the ground and holds off the succubus and her fingers.

The short, fat, grotesque monster marches towards Hank and jumps in for a bite only to get the top half of its head cut off. Hank is expecting blood to gush out, only to met with a bloodless, empty skull as the homunculus falls over.

Clang!

Hank turns to the sound and sees the alchemist in armor missing his left arm. He rushes to the succubus, bracing his krieston sword at his side. As he closes onto the slender homunculus, its sharp fingers impale him at his left ribs, puncturing his lung.

"Gluttony~" she chides, "time to wake up."

Upon hearing its name, Gluttony regrows its head and gets right back up.

As Hank gets lifted by the other homunculus, Gluttony charges to him and takes a chomp out of his right calf. While the mercenary screams, the succubus pulls out her forefinger and pokes out his right eye.

"Star-" Hank pauses for a split second as he gasps for air. "START THE JUMP!"

From the corner of his left eye, Hank sees the short alchemist claps his hand, causing the ground to light up in blinding light. The light causes the succubus to let go of Hank, letting him slide out of its claws and lie on the ground.

Images of his world flash in his eyes before he blacks out.

Chirping birds. Honking horns. Neighbors talking.

Opening his eyes, Hank realizes he is standing and falls onto a refrigerator. The back of his head makes contact with the metal exterior. He rubs the new wound on his head as he notices there is a kitchen sink right in front of him.

"Where am I now?"

Hank looks to the window and sees a the sky dim and dark blue. Looking back to the kitchen he is currently in, he closes his eyes once again and loses consciousness.

As he smiles in his slumber, the door to the entrance opens. A blonde in her early 30's alongside her seven-year-old son walk into the house. Their hands carry plastic bags filled with food and groceries.

"Hank?"

She drops whatever she is holding as she spots Hank battered and bloody in her kitchen. Her eyes widen and her voice cracks.

"HANK!"

She runs to him and grabs a hand towel near the sink, applying pressure to his right eye. Hank immediately yells in agony as she shrieks in response.

"Hank! What happened to you?"

He looks to the woman in front of him. "Vicky? What're you doing here?"

The woman shakes her head in confusion. "What?"

"Why's daddy on the floor like that?"

The woman turns to her son. "Damien, go to your room."

"But-"

"Just go."

"That's no way to talk to your kid." Hank takes her towel and applies some pressure to his grisly eye.

"I'm going to call Melissa."

"Don't."

"What?"

Hank slowly gets himself back up, using the countertop to keep himself upright. "Vicky, it's going to be for the best if you don't call anyone right now."

"Who's Vicky?"

"Um."

"I'm Cathy."

"Cathy?"

"Oh my God." Cathy's face drains of color. "Hank, do you not remember me?"

"Unless you're messing with me Victoria, no I do not."

"Just… sit down for a bit, okay?"

Her genuine concern persuades him. Cathy takes Hank's arm and wraps it around her shoulders and walks him to the living room. She sees the left side of his face, revealing a bullet hole in his cheek.

What happened to you, Hank?

As she gets him onto the couch, she heads towards the bathroom. When she returns, in her hands is a long roll of bandages.

"If I didn't know you any better, I'd mistake you for my wife."

"I am your wife."

Hank tilts his head to the side. "Wha-?"

Cathy sighs as she raises the bandages. "Just stay still."

"I can do it myself."

"Hush," she says as she slowly applies the bandages around his bloodied figure. Her delicate touch is completely foreign to him. Uncomfortable, even.

"Stay right there," Cathy orders him as she goes into the kitchen. This time, she returns with a bag of ice covered with a rag. She raises his head and puts the ice behind it.

"How exactly do we know each other?" Hank asks as Cathy puts a bandage over his bloodied eye.

She takes a deep breath. "Ho boy... Where to begin?"

As the words escape Cathy's lips, the front door opens. Heavy footsteps sound off.

"Catherine, why're the groceries in the…?"

The eerily familiar voice pauses. Cathy turns to it and her jaw drops.

"... Hank?" she asks the second man.

The second Hank freezes up.

"Huh, I don't think I'm in the right place," the first Hank says matter-of-factly.

Cathy's eyes dart to the first Hank, then back to the second. The second Hank points at the first while giving Cathy an accusatory glare.

"Catherine. Who the fuck is this?"

"The name's Hank J. Wimbleton."

The second Hank's face grows redder as he gets closer to both his wife and this other Hank. "Get the fuck out of my house."

"Very well." The first Hank tries to get up from the couch, but his legs give way and he collapses onto the floor. He feels the carpet. "Ah, a wool carpet. Expensive stuff."

Hank pulls out his gun, shoving it towards the intruding Hank's forehead. "Do you think this is a joke?"

The intruding Hank raises his eyebrows. "...Kind of."

The hammer gets pulled.

"HANK!"

"What?" Hank asks while turning to Cathy, not at all hiding the venom in his voice.

"Are you seriously going to shoot him?!"

"Fine." Hank grabs his doppleganger by the torn collar. "If you care so much about your carpet, I'll put him down outside like a dog."

"That's not the point!" Cathy yells back.

"Oh, don't worry." The imposter grabs the barrel of the gun and keeps it centered on his forehead. "He's just trying to intimidate me. Aren't you, Hank?"

Hank keeps his finger on the trigger but hesitates to pull it.

The intruder Hank squints his eyes in disappointment. "Well, what're you waiting for? Are the prices for cleaning the carpets too expensive?"

"No," Hank grumbles as he puts his gun away. "But Sanford's bitching is."

The second Hank's eyes light up. "Sanford's here too?"

"He will be. Just keep your mouth shut until then."

Cathy helps the intruder Hank back onto the couch and applies a few more bandages to his right eye. Said Hank takes them off and uses them to clean the blood off.

"So which asylum did you manage to break out of?" the homeowner Hank asks.

"'Asylum' is a pretty funny way of saying 'portal.'"

Hank rubs his eyes. "Meaning?"

"Meaning, I got flung into your dimension while trying to get home. And my best guess is that I was ported into the wrong place." The intruder Hank finishes cleaning his right eye, revealing it to be fine, aside from the wound right next to it. "Certainly beats getting mauled by monsters on my way here, though."

"What is he talking about?" Cathy whispers to her husband.

"I have no clue, Catherine," Hank whispers back.

"And!" He points to Hank with his bandaged hand, completely ignoring their previous comments. "You're the Hank J Wimbleton of this place."

"Yes, I am." Hank pulls out his phone. "And this is my house."

"Well then, that makes it my house too!"

A/N:

Welcome one and all to the direct sequel to FINAL SALVATION! With Spirit9871 co-writing this, it is official.

Yes, I know this prologue is a bit late if you actually bothered to read it back when it started. But, if that was the case, you would've known that this is all a complete rewrite from the abomination that was the former Tale of 2 Hanks story that I do not want you to read.

A few others things to point out, first thing's first, this is also a spin off of Fullmetal Madness. I also do not recommend reading that story as well. And that's really about it actually. I really need to learn how to count.

Without further ado, here's Spirit9871 for ya mindless masses!

Spirit's A/N:

Thank you, Double D.

This was a story that I've had a lot of fun working with so far with DD. He's put a lot of effort into it and I hope those of you who are fans of my works will also give this story of his a chance as well; I'd like to consider Tale of Two Hanks as a small, canonical continuation of my own series. If there's one thing for certain with ToTH, it's that it's probably going to be packed with even more ultraviolence and madness than my usual works. Give it a shot and I'm sure it won't disappoint!

Happy reading; hope you guys enjoyed this prologue so far! I'm gonna pass the mic back to DD.

Cheers!

~ Spirit9871

Back to me!

Uh, thanks Spirit. With all that out of the way. Be sure to read and tell me what I got wrong with Spirit's continuity. He's yet to correct me about any of that.