A/N: So we're back to the Unrequited Sabriel universe. I know a lot of you have been eagerly awaiting the revelation fic, where Sam discovers he's a father. Well here it is. This story takes place after Samandriel's death in season eight.

Hopefully, if I've done these stories right, you'll re-watch all the Sam and Gabriel episodes and it'll be almost a part of the show, filling in those little unanswered questions and missing moments.

Enjoy.

CHAPTER 1:

Play It Again, Sammy.

Sam tugged another shirt out of his bag and dropped it on the bed. He couldn't help must wonder how long it was going to last, having the solitude of his own room. It had been weird sleeping alone when Dean vanished with Cass, though thankfully he hadn't been alone for long. Sam shook his head as thoughts of Amelia crowded in. He'd made a promise to himself to let go, forget her. Let her get on with her life, her normal life, she deserved that. He should never have gotten involved in the first place. It was obviously it wasn't going to last, that he'd never escape, but he'd made another promise. Though whether it had been to himself or to a dead archangel he still wasn't sure. Either way, he'd ignored his own better judgement and allowed himself to fall in love with her.

He rarely bothered unpacking anymore, even when they'd been practically living at Rufus' cabin. It just meant having to shove everything back into his duffle to hit the road. When Dean had vanished; he'd climbed behind the wheel of the Impala and just driven away. He hadn't looked back. He hadn't even gone back to the cabin. He'd just taken what little he had on him, which wasn't much. - Just the clothes on his back, his brother's car and their weapons. He'd dumped the phones at the first gas station he'd come to. - He hadn't thought about the possibility that Kevin would escape Crowley. He'd been selfish. He could admit that now. He'd seen Dean's disappearance as an opportunity to get out and stay out, like Gabriel had told him to. Like he'd promised he would in a moment of delirium. - He probably should have known it wasn't going to last. It was his life after all. His curse.

He growled at himself for pondering what had happened. He'd made his choice, Amelia had given him the chance to return to her and he'd decided to stay away. He'd chosen Dean and The Life over the woman he loved and he didn't even know why.

Everything said he should have gone back to that motel room. Maybe it had been fear, he didn't want to go back and find it empty. He didn't want to know that Amelia didn't really want him anymore, despite what she'd said.

However, a voice though, in the back of his head said she'd been there. Waiting for him.

Shaking his head once again, he determinedly continued unpacking till there was nothing left in his bag but an old DVD he probably should have thrown out years ago. He had no idea why he hadn't.

No, that was a lie and he'd said he'd stop lying to himself. He'd kept it because it was Gabriel. Because it was the last link, he had to the dead archangel. Because despite what the man had done, he'd meant something to him. No matter how much he'd tried to deny it. However, with everything that had happened to him the last few years, with everything he'd gone though in hell and beyond, his sanity ripped to pieces by his friend, he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

He didn't love him. At least not in the way, he'd loved Jessica. Not the way he loved Amelia, but he remembered that overpowering burn of first love. The physical attraction he'd felt towards a funny, confident blond girl. Gabriel had been that, he was adult enough to admit that now.

He lifted the box out of his bag and stared down at the cover. The memory of the night Gabriel had finally stepped up to the plate rushing to the forefront of his mind. He could still see the blinding white light in the rear-view mirror as they sped away from the motel. Could still remember the sudden sickening feeling of loss he'd felt. It had been irrational, he knew that, but after everything that had happened between them over those few months, how could he not have felt something?

The worst part had come once he'd said yes to Lucifer. The fallen archangel had easily discovered what Sam was fighting to keep hidden and had used it. Both in the pit and later on earth. But if Luci had expected it to break him, he'd been sorely mistake. If anything, it had given him strength in the dark hell the devil had created for him. - Though he to this day didn't know why. - It had given him a refuge when the nightmares had started. For whatever reason Gabriel had been his lighthouse drawing him home from the turbulent seas and returning him safely to his brother's side. And it had been Gabriel who had forced him to make a choice. - Though in hindsight he'd probably made the wrong one.

Sam wasn't a fool. He knew it hadn't really been Gabriel. It had been his own deep desires in the form of the angel. He'd hallucinated enough over the years to know that much, but that didn't change the fact that Gabriel had been the one he'd turned to. A small wave of guilt rolled though him that it hadn't been Jessica that lead him to safety.

"Sammy?"

Sam spun to see his brother standing in the doorway; quickly he hid the DVD. - Because it would lead to questions he couldn't answer. At least not without confessing one of his biggest secrets. - He forced a tight smile. "Yeah?"

Dean's eyes watched him carefully, almost knowingly. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just…you know, getting settled." he dropped the smile; replacing it with a curious frown. "You?"

Dean didn't look convinced but thankfully didn't push either. "Garth called."

"A case?" Sam straightened eager for a distraction.

"Not really. He wants my help with something."

Sam couldn't help the small smirk that spread across his face. "Really." he chuckled teasingly, causing his brother to glare at him. "Three's a crowd, huh?"

"Bite me." Dean grunted. "I'll be gone a couple of days, you gonna be okay here?"

Sam sighed. Things were still off between them, Sam felt it but in true Winchester style he ignored it. "Yeah. I'll just explore."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Of course you will, this place is geek heaven to you, right?" he huffed.

"Just go enjoy your bromance weekend away." Sam joked. He always loved to tease his big brother about his oddball friendship with the other hunter. Especially considering how excitable Garth could be when Dean was around.

Dean shot him a harsh look before turning on his heels and marching away from the room. The call of bitch echoing off the polished tiles and solid concrete.

Alone once more Sam turned back to his bed and released the breath he'd been holding, his gaze once more returning to the DVD in his hands. For a fleeting second he considered watching it but quickly brushed the idea away. Dropping the box on the bed he gave the room a scan before leaving to go find something more important and less….awkward to do.

~~~There Are No Lies, Only Truths No Yet Told~~~

Sam's plan to investigate his new home lasted all of two hours. There was just too much and he just couldn't quite get himself to focus. So he'd made himself something to eat, settled down in front of the TV and discovered it was pointless, they didn't have cable. Sighing wearily he got to his feet and headed back to his room, really wishing he'd tagged along with Dean, whether they needed him or not.

While he loved the peace that came with time apart, being alone was worse. It gave him time to think and regret. And maybe that was why he ended up sat on his bed with his laptop on his thighs and the sandwich forgotten beside him as he stared at the title screen of Casa Erotica. His fingers hovering over the keys as he weighed up if he really wanted to do this.

It had been over a year since he'd last thought about Gabriel, or maybe he should say actively thought about him. There had been times back when Dean had first vanished, before he'd met Amelia, when he'd find the archangel fluttering across his mind. When he'd remember those few short months. When he'd dream about New York or Bobby's garage.

Then he'd met Amelia and those memories had faded; only rearing there heads for brief moments. Now he was actually considering watching the DVD, which wouldn't be weird. People watched their loved once on film all the time. Yeah, except what made it weird was that it was Gabriel having sex with a blonde busty bimbo. He hadn't actually watched the whole thing; it had been too creepy and painful back then. They'd gotten what they'd needed, a way to stop Lucifer, then he'd closed his computer and hadn't so much as looked at the DVD since. He'd just put it back into its case and stuffing it at the bottom of his bag.

But now he was alone and bored. He didn't think about what it meant that he was turning to Gabriel. He never thought about the whys, it was easier that way.

As he moved the icon towards play he paused, frowning. He wasn't a cognisor of porn like Dean, but he didn't think they came with bonus features. With his brows pinched tight, Sam moved the curser away from play to the bonus icon and clicked, holding his breath. The screen faded to reveal another hot pink and red title page. His breath caught as he read it. Play It Again, Sammy.

Sam forced a breath into his lungs, his hands shaking as he hit play and waited. The scene went black.

When it roared to life, revealing Gabriel once more perched on the end of the tacky hotel bed in his waiter uniform. This time however he was alone. No blonde porn queen in the background, half-naked and looking at Gabriel wantonly.

"If you're watching this, I'm dead." Gabriel said.

Sam sucked in a breath at the familiar words. He'd been hard pressed three years ago not to react to those words in front of his brother.

He held his breath and waited, wondering what Gabriel had to say that he'd left a second message. Was this his goodbye? Sam's heart skipped at that thought, tears already clawing at his throat.

"And I'm really hoping that's you Sam and you're alone because if not this is going to get extremely awkward. - For you two." he smirked gleefully. Like he wanted Dean to be there too. "I'm dead. You can't kick my ass now Dean-o."

Sam couldn't help the small smile that spread across his features, he was certainly thankful Dean hadn't found this. That he'd hidden the DVD away.

"So assuming that you're there Sammy. Hey." He sighed softly, his amber eyes glistening slightly in the lights. Sam felt his heart stutter and he swallowed hard. "So you're probably wondering what this is? Well I suppose you could call it my deathbed confession. - And boy do I have a confession." Gabriel chuckled humourlessly. "Something I probably should have told you long before now."

Sam inhaled slowly through hid nose.

"Katherine wanted me to. Said you had a right to know. - Don't worry Sammy, I didn't give you some incurable angel STD." he laughed, but it was flat and pained and it made Sam's chest ache. "This is much more life altering."

Gabriel fell silent and Sam held his breath, his head buzzing with a thousand possibilities. Dreading the next words.

"Congratulations, Sam. It's a boy." Gabriel announced with faux excitement. As there was a sudden explosion of blue and white streamers on screen.

Sam froze. His heart pounding painfully in his chest, his eyes wide as he stared at the laptop and Gabriel, the angel watching him intently. Silent. "How did that…?" Sam whispered but trailed off with another wave of confusion.

"Come on kiddo. I know you now the hows." Gabriel smirked.

Sam jumped at the reply, narrowing his eyes at the computer suspiciously. - And maybe a little hopefully. - He noticed the smile. So sad. So broken.

"It's a consequence of taking a female vessel. It's been known to happen. - And before you start, it wasn't part of my plan. Believe me. I was as surprised as you are. And you were there to you know. Did Dean-o never tell you to cover up? - I just wanted to get into your pants, breaking this rule was not on my bucket list." he trailed off. His eyes flickering to somewhere in the distances, something distressing flickering across his face. Something a lot like…fear. "Of course neither was…" he murmured; his eyes flickering back to meet Sam's. The sentiment unfinished.

Sam felt his heart tightened. Gabriel had never actually confirmed Sam's suspicious about the so-called Bucket List, and at the time he hadn't really wanted to know what the angel had meant.

"Having your baby was not something I wanted. Especially considering the circumstances, with the world about to end and me only months from death's door. - I always knew you'd be the death of me Winchester." Gabriel said meaningfully; meeting Sam's gaze through the screen.

Sam's head was spinning. This couldn't be real. This had to be a joke. A tick.

"And no this isn't my last great prank on you and your bone head brother. I'm a hundred percent serious. And Alfie's a hundred percent real. - I left him with Katherine in Florida. - That's his name by the way. Alfie. Kath chose it. It's her father's name, and considering what I…we did with her body I thought it only right." he smirked again and something hot shot through Sam at the reminder of that night. "And she's been helping me raise him, and will continue to until you decide if you want to…you know, be a dad or whatever." he shrugged nonchalantly. Like he didn't care one way or another. Like he actually expected Sam to walk away from his own son. "I told him about you and Dean. He knows what you do and why you weren't around. And he knows that you might never be around." Gabriel rambled with a regretful smile and tone.

Sam felt the burning in his eyes again and his throat closed up. They had a son. It didn't seem real. - And Gabriel clearly adored the little boy. It was there in his face. In his voice.

"I used to tell him stories. I'd sit on his bed and say Samandriel, your daddy and uncle Dean fight monsters. Big terrifying monsters. There going to save the world." Gabriel continued; staring down at his hands and talking more to himself than to the hunter. "He gave me a picture for you. Obviously I couldn't give it to you in front of Dean, so I left it in the glove box of that tin can you boys live in. Under a ton of papers and having seen what's in there I'm confident Dean won't find it before you do. - Does he ever clear that thing out?"

Gabriel kept rambling but Sam had tuned out long ago. The world had stopped. There was a thick fog blocking whatever Gabriel was saying. Sam stared at the screen, his head spinning out of control. Had he heard right? He shook his head dismissingly even as his trembling fingers moved to rewind and check.

"…I'd sit on his bed and say, Samandriel, your…."

And that was it. Sam just stopped breathing. Stopped existing. His mind felt like a tsunami had crashed through it. The image of Cass bowed over the broken and bloody body of Samandriel. The cold way he'd announced that the young angel had attacked him and he'd had to defend himself.

Sam's gut clenched and rolled. Bile clawing at his throat. Maybe it wasn't the same Samandriel. Maybe Gabriel had named their son after the other angel. - Except that Dean and Cass had called the heaven sent angel Alfie. That couldn't be a coincidence. It couldn't be.

He sucked in a sharp breath and threw the laptop from his thighs, scrambling off the bed and running to the nearest bathroom. He dropped to his knees instantly and emptied his stomach. Cass, his friend, had killed his son and Sam hadn't even known. Wouldn't have known ever if he hadn't have watched that message.

Why hadn't he watched it sooner? Why hadn't Gabriel just told him that last night? - Or that first? Sam frowned. Had that been why Gabriel had come to him after Carthage? He's said he was there to offer his sympathise. To make sure he hadn't said yes to the devil, but….that didn't seem like Gabriel. He'd thought at the time the angel was there for another reason and had assumed it was to try and trick him. Try to get him in bed again. But maybe he'd been there to tell Sam about Samandriel.

Sam choked on an inhale. Gabriel had come to tell him he had a son and all Sam had done was pick a fight and kiss him furiously. Sam's eyes blazed and his chest tightened at the memory. He retched a little more then fell back on his ass; breathing heavily as his mind swirled and his stomach cramped. His nose wrinkled at the rancid smell of his vomit. He scrambled away to press his back against the wall. Anger flooding him. At himself. At Cass. - At Gabriel; even if he had tried to tell him that night, the fact remained their son was dead and it was at least partially Gabriel's fault.

He dragged a palm down his face; scrubbing at his tear swollen eyes. Closing them he let his head lull back against the cool tiles. Not that he need the cool surface, his whole body was cold. Numb with shock and regret. Behind his eyelids the vision of Samandriel; crumpled and lifeless at his feet. He had a sudden desire to call Cass and get his revenge, but something held him back. A small voice that sounded a lot like Gabriel, telling him not to rush in and do something that he would regret. That there was more to everything and Cass was just a small piece of a larger puzzle that needed to be solved before revenge was sort.

The voice only made him that much angrier with the dead archangel. But maybe it was time to start listening to him.

Sitting there on the cold floor his throat burning; his eyes like fire and the stench of vomit choking him, Sam let his mind wonder. There were so many questions. The top of that list being why his son had been working for Heaven? Gabriel had said he'd left Samandriel with Katherine. Had she handed him over? A fresh wave of anger crashed into him and he scrambled to his feet, stumbling out of the bathroom and back to his room.

He needed answers and there was only one person alive that could give them to him. - Assuming she was alive. He paused in the door of his room and stared at the laptop he'd carelessly thrown aside in his haste. The screen was filled with the opening scene of the movie and he realized he must have been gone longer than the thought. At the sound of a knock he dove for the laptop, hitting the button and pausing the movie before Gabriel made his big entrance. That was the last thing he needed right now.

Taking a breath he sat on the edge of the bed and fiddled with the computer; taking him back to the hidden message. He needed to finish watching it. He needed to know where Katherine was. So he braced himself for a repeat of the news that should leave him overjoyed and proud but had instead left him feeling lost and drowning.

~~~There Are No Lies, Only Truths No Yet Told~~~

Sam had done everything he could think of to track down Katherine. After attentively re-watching Gabriel's message he'd headed out into the large library, because his room was suddenly too small, and set himself up at one of the desks with his laptop, a pad and pen, and a bottle of beer to wash away the vile taste lingering in his mouth.

What his search had turned up was that two days before that fateful night in Indiana, Katherine Graves had moved to Browder County. - Gabriel had told him that much, grinning wickedly because the guy was a jackass and probably thought it was funny to move them to the small town he'd spent the worst 100 days of his life in. - Sam hadn't found any mention of Samandriel and wondered if she'd abandoned him.

His fingers curled angrily into fists as he took a few moments to calm himself.

Katherine hadn't stayed in Browder County long. A little over five months later Sam found her living in Baltimore and this time there was proof of Samandriel's existence. Or Alfie Sam Graves existence. - Sam felt an irrational spark of jealous at the sight of Katherine's name on his son's registration records rather than his own. - He was attending Baybrook High School, aged 17. Sam frowned as he wondered how that was even possible. Was it even his son? Then he remember the angel he'd met, the one laying prone at his feet, looking all of 20years old. Obviously there was something in his genetics making him age quicker than regular kids.

From what Sam could see he'd done well in high school. His grades were through the roof, not that he was really surprised. He felt proud. - And maybe a little smug.

Katherine had continued to teach at the local middle school until Samandriel, no Alfie's graduation in May 2010. After that the pair moved on. Sam groaned at the college records. Another moment of déjà vu as he found his son enrolled at State College, Pennsylvania.

Sam hacked his way into Alfie's school files, feeling another burst of pride at the continued high GPA and the pre-law classes. He wondered how much his son knew about him. - Whether he'd chosen law as a way to connect or was it just a coincidence? It didn't matter, because there was the same outcome. Classes unattended, a future unfulfilled because Alfie had gone missing six months into freshman year.

Sam inhaled slowly as he stared at the newspaper article and a missing person's report, a poster pleading for information. The date, two years ago. Sam thought back and sighed as he realized his son had gone missing the day before Cass ripped his walls down. While he'd been lying comatose, fighting his inner demons, his son had presumably been kidnapped by angels.

He took a deep swig of his beer and leant back in his chair staring at the poster. Alfie's face staring back at him, a warm smile and a glint of mischief that reminded him so much of Gabriel. - So different to the angel he'd briefly met. Tears burned and he forced down the pain of loss, unsure he was entitled to feel anything at all. After all he hadn't really known his son. Even during that short time together at the auction he hadn't spoken to him. He'd just been another angel. Sam wiped at his face and closed his eyes for a moment; taking a deep calming breath. After a minute or two, he opened them again and hit print on the missing person poster. Wanting at least one image of the son he'd lost before he'd even known him. Then he shifted forward to continue his search for Katherine.

Only she'd dropped off the face of the planet, there was nothing. Two months ago her house was found abandoned; she hadn't turned up for work. There was another missing person report filed by a colleague. He couldn't find any sign of her in other states. No new job. No new home. No obituary. She was just gone. Sam frowned; ribbing at his temples. It was both weird and worrying. Had whoever took Alfie taken her too?

He pushed back his chair; grabbing his bottle, - His fifth maybe. - And headed for the printer. Snatching up the picture, he stared down at it. The bottle pressed to his lips, the lump in his throat refusing to be washed away.

He'd given up on wanting kids after Jessica had died. Even when he'd found normality with Amelia he hadn't thought about it. Hadn't wanted it and this was why. He'd already lost too much family. Too many people he loved, but this was the worse. The pain cutting that much deeper.

What made it worse was that he hadn't known. Hadn't gotten the chance to really connect with his son. To build memories. He sucked in a pained breath, a flash of anger shooting through him aimed directly at Cass. He couldn't silence the dark voice in the back of his mind that said Cass had known. That he'd targeted Samandriel in some kind of revenge plot. It was irrational, but then loss usually was. Only Cass wasn't exactly acting like himself of late, so it may be irrational but it was also justified.

Sam took another swig of his beer and exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." he choked down at the smiling face; his voice broken along with something deep inside him. "If I had…" his breath catching. He swept at the tear rolling down his cheek with the back of his hand, his eyes never leaving Alfie's image.

He turned away from the printer, intent on heading to bed. It was late. He'd been searching for hours and had drunk more in the last hour than he had in the last month; clearly taking a page out of Dean's book. He felt tired. Empty. He just wanted oblivion, even if it was only a temporary fix. A fleeting thought crossed his mind as he closed down his computer. Had Dean felt like this when he'd killed Emma? Had his brother felt empty and broken? Dean had at least met his daughter, spoken to her. He had to watch as the person he trusted; his own brother killed his daughter. Sam choked on more tears and the acid taste of guilt; rubbing angrily at his face. He hadn't given Dean any understand, she'd been a monster, ready to kill her own father, he hadn't had a choice but then….maybe he had. Maybe they could have saved her. He hadn't even hesitated. - So maybe he was no better than Cass.

Another heavy weight settled on Sam's shoulders and he stumbled under it, bracing himself on the desk, he took a few moments to collect himself.

With his legs solid under him once more, Sam began to make his way to his room. He'd barely made it half way when his phone began to ring. He groaned; praying it wasn't Dean needing his help. Yanking it out of his pocket he blinked down at the name; a deep frown carved between his brows. "Hello?" he asked cautiously.

"Sam?"

"Missouri? Are you okay?" he hadn't heard from the woman in years and a spark of guilt shot through him at that realization. They owed the woman more than that.

"I'm fine. I…I just had a sense I had to call you." She said; her tone soft and confused.

"Okay."

"I…I think you need to come see me."

Sam dropped down on his bed; settling the beer bottle on the night stand, not letting go of the poster in the same hand. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. This isn't about me. Just get your butt back to Lawrence." Missouri ordered firmly, broking no argument.

Sam smiled despite himself. "Okay. Dean will be back in a…"

"Did I mention Dean? I need you to come."

Sam's insides tightened. "I….okay. I'll see you tomorrow. - I need a couple of hours. I've been…"

"Tomorrow's fine. Now go sleep it off, honey."

The line went dead before Sam could so much as say goodnight so he set it down next to his empty beer bottle and looked down at the paper in his hand. With a silent goodnight; he yanked open the draw to the nightstand and slipped the page inside.

A/N: I just want you to know that I do not slash Dean and Garth. I just think Sam would tease Dean about it in a way he wouldn't in regards to Dean and Cass. Probably because he knows deep down that Dean and Cass actually have a relationship, while Garth is more like Dean's excited little puppy, eager to please and impress.

Oh and for future reference, I will be spelling Castiel's nickname Cass. Because that it how it is in the script and how the writers have decided it is spelt, thus, it's the canon. So please don't send me reviews complaining about that.

Please I'd love to know what you think of the beginning. I don't know how long this story's going to be, I want to deal with some stuff in season 8 and I'm hoping to do that in a single story.