This chapter is really short, like reallllll short, but I promise from now on there going be super long ;)
Summary: Bella, an anorexic who is broken physically and emotionally, can Edward break down her walls she put up and will she finally let someone in?
Bella.
First day of school. I had no desire to get up so I lay them thinking about the previous four days. My irresponsible mother Renee had insisted to take me out to dinner the day before my departure, to have "girl time" which mostly consisted of me trying to convince her I was going to be fine, and I would cope. I was going to move to Forks, with my dad, Charlie. I wouldn't have minded our "girl time" if she hadn't basically force-fed me my starter and half of my main course, I nearly had a panic attack right then and there, but I new I would be able to dispose of it later so I tried to just ignore the amazing feeling of fullness while it lasted. When we got home she was an emotionally wreck, I tried to comfort her as best I could but I was never good at being intimate with anyone, even my own mother. I gave her reassuring pats while she lay there crying on the couch and muttering incoherently, I just wanted to pick her up and hug her, but my hand would shy away from her touch. The only thing she asked of me was to stay right with her, right there on the couch, this was the only time I ever had felt in any way sorry for her. Time passed and all I could do was sit there and glare at my stomach thinking why had I made such a stupid decision, it was only when her cries turned in to muffled sobs that I felt my self slowly drift into sleep.
When I awoke that not so unusual feeling of guilt crept through my body, I sat up stiff, from the uncomfortable sleeping position and the knot in my stomach tightened, I cant believe I actually let this happen, I was truly disgusted with myself. There was only one way to get rid of it. Maybe if I did it one last time I could finally be the nice, skinny girl my mom always wanted, maybe then she'd finally love me, and let me stay with her. It did take long to make myself purge, it never did anymore. I felt like I was on such a high as all the waste came out of me, it was my release, my control, and nobody could change that.
"Bella, wake up." Charlie's voice abruptly interrupted my thoughts, I groaned and resisted the urge to throw something at him. I swung my legs around and sat for a moment on my bed, my stomach let out a loud rumble, Traitor stomach.
"Hungry?" Charlie asked.
You bet I am.
"A little bit, but you go to work, I can make myself breakfast."
He nodded. And backed out of my room, Charlie was painfully shy, like me and he accepted everything I told him, no questions asked, this was probably a good thing, I think .
But of course I had no intention of making myself breakfast, I could not let a repeat performance of dinner with Renee ever happen again.
I stayed sitting on my bed until i heard Charlie's cruiser back out from the driveway to go to work, work that was his baby, I however was merely a mistake.
Well at least that's why my mom told me, Renee was a lot of things to a lot of people, but to me she was an obsessive, controlling, manipulative bitch. She hated me because I wasn't like her. She hated me because i had "to much Charlie in me"
"Mom, I'm so sorry" I sputtered out blinking away the tears; she would hate me more if i cried.
"You little bitch you did it on purpose, it was my favorite vase,"
"Mom, I fell I-I think I'm bleeding"
"Well then you can bleed some more!" she screamed throwing the shattered pieces of her vase at me
"Mom, i thought you loved me."
"Isabella, nobody will ever love filthy child like you." that's when I couldn't hold back anymore, that's when the tears came.
I could never forget the pain, more the emotional pain than physically, sure that shattered vase hurt like hell, I mean i had the scars on my arm to prove it, but she said no one would ever love me, and the most painful thing was, she was right.