"So. You're still mad at me?"
Craig is sitting on his bed, holding his phone with one hand, flipping through a comic book with the other. It's an uncharacteristically warm Sunday evening, in the middle of autumn, and Craig is just collecting himself at home, after the first fight of that whole Civil War fiasco. Tweek is on the other end of the line, as is most usually the case since they got involved back in fourth grade. They are seniors now and they still, much to Craig's chagrin, get tangled up in pretty much all the ridiculous shenanigans Cartman and his bunch of imbeciles drag them into.
"Y-you betrayed me, man," comes the callous reply. "I thought we were a duo, you even said so yourself, but you betrayed me!"
Craig rolls his eyes and resists the urge to spout out a sarcastic comment. "And by that you mean I should have just followed you blindly and done whatever you wanted me to do." Okay, so the urge was unbeatable, what can you do?
Tweek huffs to the microphone and for a moment he doesn't say anything. Craig can hear him breathing, making all kinds of small noises, undetectable to everyone else, but he has been attached to the hip to this outrageous guy since elementary school and he knows better.
"You stayed behind in a group led by Cartman. Fucking Cartman, Craig!" he retorts finally and Craig realizes that he's got a point. He professed to like Coon and Friends but that wasn't completely accurate. The truth is he doesn't give a shit either way, he just wanted, for once, not to have others make his decisions for him.
"It's just a stupid game, anyway."
"Yeah, but you didn't have to fight me like that. You used your most powerful attacks on me!"
"I thought I was supposed to do that."
Tweek remains silent for another long moment. Craig doesn't really know what to say to make things better. He doesn't exactly have an excuse for kicking his boyfriend of eight years out of the game like that except that he is a competitive asshole who doesn't like to lose fights. Especially in stupid live action role-playing games against his eternal nemesis, that Marsh douchebag. Because he is pathetic like that. On the other hand, Tweek seems to be taking the whole thing pretty seriously too so maybe it's not that sad that he gets so invested in a fucking game. A superhero game for chrissake.
"You called me a spaz," Tweek eventually exhales and Craig's stomach twists. Wow, as if he wasn't feeling like shit before.
"Uh…I'm sorry, it just slipped out, you know I didn't mean it." Tweek makes an acceding sound but doesn't actually confirms it.
"It's not like the game is over," Craig says, setting the comic book aside and lying on his back on the bed. "Let's just lay low for now and see how things go," he suggests partly because he has always deemed that as the best possible course of action when dealing with the assholes they hang around with and partly because he still doesn't find it in himself to promise Tweek that he will follow him.
"Y-yeah, that's probably for the best," Tweek confirms but his tone of voice isn't very encouraging. "Anyway, I have to go man, I still haven't finished the history homework for tomorrow."
Craig closes his eyes and tries really hard to not feel brushed off "Okay, goodnight," he says and quickly adds "I love you."
"I love you too," Tweek replies instantly which should have made him feel better but sometimes nothing is that easy.
The next day at school passes agonizingly slow. His chem teacher tries to gain their attention but it's the last class for the day and everyone is fidgety.
And Craig doesn't care about chemistry. He wants to direct documentaries for a living, which is such a risky career choice but he won't give up, he won't settle for anything else, he will struggle and live on instant noodles if he has to until he makes it big and at his acceptance speech for winning the Oscar for best documentary short, he will pull off a mini soliloquy mostly about his life-partner Tweek and how he never would have made it this far without him.
Craig knows, deep down, that these are just fleeting dreams, bitter and unattainable but all the more precious for it. But, hey, daydreaming never hurt anyone and as long as he'll be allowed to keep the things he already has, mainly said life-partner, he'll be all right.
Eventually, he gets sent to the Principal's office for flipping off the teacher when she demanded him paying attention to the class. Which is such a great excuse for escaping a boring as hell lecture on polyatomic ion compounds and sneak out to the back of the school and smoke. Luckily, none of the Goth kids is out there at this hour, probably skipped the last class altogether, and he can lean against the dirty wall and enjoy some quietness. After a few moments of chain-smoking, he takes out his ancient cell phone from his jacket and texts Tweek to meet him there when he is done with his World History class.
When he finally sees that familiar yellow jungle of hair approaching him, his lips curve up in a small smile.
"Hey," he greets and throws his cigarette butt on the ground casually stepping on it. Tweek doesn't say anything; he leans against the wall next to Craig and proceeds to examine carefully the cracked and dirty pavement. Craig observes him from the corner of his eye for a few moments until he finally relents "Am I out of the doghouse yet?"
Tweek just shrugs and Craig thinks that he isn't going to get much out of him today. But then he feels a tugging at his fingers and when he realizes Tweek is holding his hand his heart skips a beat.
Because that's their thing. Holding hands and loving each other insanely.
So, he turns his head a little, cupping the side of Tweek's face with his free hand and kisses him. Tweek kisses back but only for a moment. He pulls away and looks straight into Craig's eyes.
"What, I can't kiss you now?" Craig asks but he is smiling and he is happy cause they got this. He is caressing Tweek's cheek with his thumb when his boyfriend leans in and captures his lips again.
"No, you can definitely do that," he murmurs between their joined mouths and there isn't the slightest trace of that old, pestering weight in Craig's stomach. Somewhere at the back of his mind there's that little voice that's telling him that they should start heading home soon because they could get into trouble again for making out in school grounds, but he doesn't really listen to it.
He should've had.
"What the fuck?" The shout directed at them makes Craig groan and Tweek jump a bit as they pull away from each other, glancing over at the unpleasant sight of their classmate.
"Fuck off Cartman," Craig says, tightening his grip on his boyfriend's hand.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing, Craig?"
"What does it look like, you asshole?"
"You are fraternizing with the enemy!"
Tweek laughs, he actually laughs at that "That's so stupid, even for you, man." Craig loves him, oh he loves him so much.
"Shut the fuck up, you…you temptress," Cartman retorts, taking himself seriously, in that unique, extreme and utterly moronic way only Cartman can pull off.
Tweek's smile falls from his face and he takes a step forward, ready to kick Cartman's teeth in if he has to. Craig's hand is still between his fingers and he pulls him back because he really can't handle all this bullshit right now.
"Hey, calm down, he's just a fat fuck."
"Ay!"
"What do you want Cartman?" Craig asks still holding Tweek back.
Cartman glares at him, trying to reestablish some of his frittered authoritah or whatever. "We have a Coon and Friends meeting in ten minutes so I came to drag you away from your treacherous activities," he replies like he's been assigned the most important task in the world.
"Oh man, that reminds me, we have a meeting too!" Tweek exclaims, slapping his forehead with his palm. Craig turns to look at him, frowning and Tweek just shrugs.
"Yeah. As a matter of fact, that traitorous slut Kenny is looking for you," Cartman snorts.
Craig doesn't have the time to respond to that cause Cartman is yanking his arm hard, trying to pull him away from Tweek and towards the direction of his house and particular his basement, where all of their meetings are taking place. "Well, come on Supercraig," he distinctly enunciates the first part of his code name, in a pathetic attempt, Craig speculates, to get him to act all superheroish. With a dedication to their cause and a sheer determination to crush their opponents. He is ready to punch Cartman in the face but Tweek untangles himself from him and steps a few inches away, staring into his eyes. He gives him a small nod which probably means that they should just go to their respective meetings and have this farce over with.
Craig sighs and turns towards Cartman. He punches his shoulder and pulls his arm out of his grip. "Quit manhandling me, fatass. I'm coming." Cartman lets out an exasperated sound but doesn't say anything else, instead he keeps moving towards the school exit.
When they reach the school gate, Craig casts a last look at Tweek, enough to witness him being ushered away too by fucking Kenny McCormick and fucking fucking Stan Marsh.
He grits his teeth and turns his attention to the motherfucker who took him away from his boyfriend "What the hell was that all about? Why did you drag me away like that, you dipshit?"
Cartman stares at him for a moment, like he is about to point out the obvious and Craig is a stupid asshole who doesn't get it.
"Everyone knows Tweek has you whipped, Tucker," he finally declares. "You are our biggest liability, so I have to keep an eye on you."
Craig stops dead at his tracks, staring at Cartman like he grew a second head. "What in the ever loving fuck are you talking about?"
Cartman is trying to steer them along towards his house, where the meeting is supposed to take place, but Craig is rooted to the spot, demanding answers.
Cartman sighs defeated and gives in "I'm just making sure that you aren't going to switch sides just because your boyfriend makes you by holding out on you or something," he explains and Craig can't believe what he's hearing. He is practically seething over Cartman's obnoxious accusations.
"Fuck you Cartman," he spats and starts walking again, taking big steps with his long legs so that fat jerk will have difficulties keeping up.
Their meeting is as stupid and pointless as he had been expecting. Craig doesn't pay much attention to Cartman's inane plans and his laughable strategies. He zones out, thinking about Tweek and his respective meeting. When the whole farce is almost over, he shoots a nasty glare at Cartman. He is still going on about his ridiculous franchise schemes to anyone willing to listen, namely Butters, who somehow ended up on their side, cause according to Cartman, having a reformed super villain on your team is so 'hot right now'.
Craig is really done with all that shit so he climbs the stairs out of Cartman's basement, already fumbling for his cigarettes. When he is walking away from Cartman's house, searching for his lighter, he feels a grasp on his elbow. He turns around, mid-step, ready to flip off whoever is halting his escape.
"Hey, man can I, uhm, can I talk to you for one second?" Kyle asks still holding his elbow, trying to keep a steady gaze and failing miserably, eventually averting his eyes from both Craig's glare and his raised middle finger.
"Get your hand off me," he replies and before Kyle has the chance to react he yanks his hand away, turning around and starts walking away again.
"You are not thinking of walking out on us, are you?" Kyle suddenly shouts at Craig's retreating back.
Craig freezes. What the fuck is wrong with these people. He turns around slowly, apparently looking more homicidal than usual cause Kyle takes a step back, flinching slightly.
"What the hell kind of question is that?"
"I'm just worried…" he starts but immediately cuts himself off "well, actually Cartman is worried…"
Fucking Cartman. Figures. Craig doesn't give him a chance to finish.
"What, he is worried Tweek will lure me over to their side, right? And what are you, Broflovski? The fat fuck's errand boy? His lapdog? Well, I never thought I'd see the day."
"Fuck you Craig!" Kyle yells. His transformation when it comes to Cartman from a well-spoken albeit feisty honors student to Hulk's ginger little cousin is always alluring but Craig doesn't find it all that amusing right now.
"It's my team too," Kyle continues seemingly having composed himself "I just don't wanna lose to a bunch of imbeciles because my asshole of a teammate can't keep it in his pants."
Craig grabs the front of Kyle's shirt and pulls him towards him. "What I do with my pants is none of your business, Broflovski," he grunts. Kyle holds his stare and the little shit has even the audacity to glower at him but if he thinks Craig is above kicking him where it hurts, he has another thing coming. "Besides, I'm not the only one with a connection to the other side."
Kyle's eyes widen a little at that and Craig can spot the little yellow flecks spread all over inside the green orbs. He yanks Craig's hand off of him, steps back a few inches and brushes imaginary dust off his shoulders, collecting himself. When he's ready he stares at Craig, the most composed expression he could muster plastered on his face, but his eyes are still glimmering.
"Stan's been my best friend since preschool," he starts "He's my brother. We have our differences and we have our fights. And we have whole periods when we are just horrible to each other. But we always, always pull through."
Craig snorts, "Wow. Nice speech. Not rehearsed at all or anything. Wasn't talking about that emo pussy though."
Now Kyle really looks like he is ready to faint.
"What…what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about you growing a pair and finally tellling McCormick you wanna suck his dick or whatever."
Kyle opens him mouth then he closes it again. He looks dumbfounded, eyes bulging out of their sockets, lower lip slightly trembling and everything, and Craig suspects he is going to try and deny it.
But Kyle surprises him. "How..." he begins but cuts himself short and averts his gaze from Craig's stare, instead glancing up at the uncharacteristically clear sky.
"How did you know?" he asks finally and suddenly Craig isn't so angry with him anymore. "I've never told anyone. Not even Stan," he continues and Craig sighs exasperatedly.
He rubs the back of his head and curses, once again, his bad luck. Giving relationship advice isn't his forte, hell he got together with Tweek for real when he told him that since they basically couldn't function without their fake relationship they might as well make it real in order to get some action out of it too. Not that he gets all that much, Tweek is still timid about his sexuality but Craig loves that little twitchy bastard more than anything and he really doesn't mind waiting. Anyway, his atrocious courting methods somehow worked, Tweek even went so far as admitting that that was the most romantic thing he had ever said to him, but Craig thinks he was just cajoling him.
Dealing with other people's romantic problems though? That's where he crosses the line. But as much as he wants to shoo Kyle off and head over to Tweek's place where they are supposed to meet, the redhead has such a miserable look on his face, having admitted for the very first time something that is obviously shaping the very fabric of his existence, that Craig can't find it in himself to be his regular stoic self.
"Look, I just knew it. I don't know how, I guess I got an eye for these things. I don't think anyone else knows though."
"You won't tell anyone, will you?"
"Nah. I'm an asshole but not that kind," he reassures and then adds "just make Cartman to get off my case about this whole switching sides thing."
"Ha. The extortion kind of asshole then," Kyle says but a small, crooked smile appears on his lips.
Craig laughs "You know it."
Kyle nods and starts walking away. Craig isn't done though.
"And Kyle?"
He turns around mid-step, eyebrows raised "Yeah?"
"Just fucking tell him already." This time, Kyle's smile reaches his ears and Craig thinks that he might not be that bad with relationship advice as he thought.
They are in Tweek's bedroom. Tweek is lying on the carpeted floor on his stomach, trying to make sense of his math homework. Craig is watching him, getting over the fact that they hadn't talked about their respective meetings, trying to repress his curiosity and failing miserably.
"Everyone thinks I will switch over to your side," he blurts out suddenly.
Tweek raises an eyebrow at that, "Why would they think that?"
Craig contemplates for a moment telling him how everyone considers him a huge ass pushover but decides against it. Tweek's ego flares up menacingly from time to time and he doesn't want to encourage that.
"Are you thinking about it?" Tweek asks almost immediately not giving him the chance to come up with something a bit less emasculating.
"No," he deadpans mostly to prove a point. To whom, he doesn't know yet.
"Well, Kenny was encouraging me to coerce you into joining our side," Tweek says and for fuck's sake just how much power do they all think Tweek has over him anyway.
"Tell Kenny he is a cocksucker," he retorts and Tweek lets out a small chuckle and goes back to his homework. Craig is still watching him, half annoyed half something else. The word is probably content cause Tweek is here, with him, and he smiles at him and everything else kind of fades into the background, insignificant and petty.
"Do you love me?" he asks after a while.
"Very much," Tweek replies instantly, not raising his eyes from his textbook, taking Craig by surprise.
"You didn't hesitate."
This time Tweek glances over at him, frowning slightly "Why would I hesitate?"
The final battle was a carnage. It went down a week later and, as Craig was dreading, at the end it all came down to the two of them. They were the only ones standing, cheered on by their respective sides to fucking end it. Craig knew that if he used what was left of his Mega Fist Punch, he would probably take Tweek down and his side would win. On the other hand he could go with the Shining Hate Finger extracting minimum damage and probably dying by Tweek's next move. His HP was at a crucial stage too, anyway.
The fucking game would be over, Tweek would be happy for having won them the game and he would be happy because of that. No more fucking drama, no more stupid ass superhero fights and most importantly no more Civil War, not between his assholes classmates but between him and the love of his life.
He went with the Mega Fist Punch.
He is hugging his pillow so tightly that he's sure he is going to have fading scars on his face when and if he gets out of bed. Three hours had passed since the fight and he spent each second hiding in his room and wallowing in his own misery. He is sure Tweek is going to break up with him. He took off so abruptly after he killed off his character in the game, not even bothering to spare him a glance while jogging towards Tweak Bros.
Just as Craig is pondering calling him and trying his luck he hears a creaking sound and realizes that someone is opening his bedroom's door. And when he sits up and spots that familiar mess of hair his jaw drops.
Tweek tentatively sits next to him on the bed but doesn't say anything. A few moments pass until Craig can't stand the deafening silence anymore.
"Aren't you like, furious with me?" he asks.
Tweek looks like he is contemplating his answer "I was a little mad, yeah," he says finally "But I think I just wanted the stupid game to end."
Craig lets out a sigh of relief "Oh God, yes."
"And I don't want us to fight," Tweek continues and Craig is nodding furiously. "And you still love me right?" he asks.
"I don't think I'll ever stop," Craig admits and even if they are only sixteen years old and they have their whole lives in front of them, he believes it. Tweek offers him a small smile and Craig just cracks.
"Apparently everyone thinks you have me whipped."
Tweek's eyes widen at that as he seems to realize something "Is that why you did it? To prove something? No, forget it, I don't even care but is that how you feel?"
"No! Yes... I don't know, maybe sometimes but not in a bad way. I haven't even registered it in my mind as a derogatory thing till everyone started talking about it."
He takes Tweek's hands in his and he gazes at their intertwined fingers "I like making you happy. I think I'm good at it. It doesn't come as natural to you as it comes to other people and I like being a part in the whole slow and complex process."
"Wow," Tweek stares at him, stunned and properly swept off his feet. "Have you practiced the speech, man?"
Craig smiles slyly "Maybe."
Tweek gives him a small kiss at the corner of his mouth "I-I make you happy too, right? Cause, you know, I don't really do anything."
"Yes you do. Even being here right now, made me happy."
"Really?"
"Yeah! I was miserable, hiding in here, hugging my pillow and everything, feeling like a total asshole who put a stupid game over his boyfriend."
Tweek laughs and Craig suddenly feels more daring than he has in years. He pushes Tweek back against the mattress and hovers over him. Before he has the chance to protest Craig is kissing him on the mouth and reaches for his own shirt, breaking the kiss long enough to take it off.
"W-what are you doing?"
"I'm taking my clothes off." Tweek yelps but Craig continues undressing himself "I want us to get naked. I want to touch your dick with my dick."
"Oh-oh God! Why would you want that?"
"I think it's gonna be nice," he says and kisses Tweek again, this time harder, while taking off his boxers. Tweek is struggling to pull his own shirt over his head, not breaking the kiss till the last second. When his chest is bare and he shivers a bit due to his exposed skin, Craig dives in and licks his way from his neck down to his belly button. Tweek is making all kind of incoherent noises and Craig seizes the opportunity to tug at his pants. He pulls back a little, standing awkwardly over him, fumbling with his zipper, completely naked. His boyfriend tries his best not to openly stare at him, they've seen each other naked after all but is getting really hard when Craig yanks off his pants and reaches for his boxers. And he looks him straight in the eye.
And Craig tries to stand by his needs and desires, he really does, but it's truly hard to keep his resolve when Tweek is looking at him like that. Like he is the one out to get him. He sighs and lets go of Tweek's boxers "Hey, it's ok, we don't have to do anything you don't wanna do."
But then, Tweek drags him back down on top of him and kisses his face off of him "No! I want it, I'm just, you know, nervous," he says, biting his lower lip. Craig smiles at his mouth and lifts himself a little in order to get Tweek's boxers out of the way too.
And when Craig lowers himself on top of him and their erections align giving a few experimental thrusts, Tweek arches his head back against the covers, lets out a screeching sound and comes almost immediately, leaving Craig awestruck. "Wow," he states stupidly and Tweek is blushing so much Craig thinks he will have an episode. Nothing happens though, Tweek continues to pant hard and Craig just pulls him closer and wraps an arm around his shoulders.
"See, I told you it was gonna be nice," he says smugly.
"S-shut up," Tweek exclaims but he is smiling. "I-I think that was the most intense sensation I've ever felt," he admits and Craig is so proud of himself for taking the initiative once. Tweek suddenly frowns though when he seems to have noticed something. "Uhm, you didn't..." he trails off for a moment "d-do you want me to do anything?" he finally asks.
Craig examines his face for a few seconds before answering "No, it's ok. We'll have plenty of time to do that kind of stuff, right?"
Tweek nods furiously as if to reassure him that this is just the beginning, he won't hold back anymore.
Craig pulls him even closer and closes his eyes, ready to drift off into a well deserved sleep.
There is just one minor detail to discuss though. "You know, I was thinking," Craig says between yawns. "In the unlikely event that we do start our own franchise and make movies and Netflix series and shit…"
"Yeah?"
"I think WonderTweek should be introduced in the first SuperCraig movie."
"Really?"
"Yeah, we could even name it something super gay like 'Super Craig: Man of Tweek.' For the Japanese fans, of course."
"Ah, of course."
"So, are you staying over?"
"Yeah, I guess I am," Tweek says snuggling closer and wrapping an arm around Craig's chest, burying his nose in his shoulder. "Goodnight Supercraig."
"Goodnight Wondertweek."