This is a prequel to my other Gravitation fan-fiction called "Right In Front Of Me" Please read that first, I mean you don't have to but I think it will be nice and perhaps while you're over there you could leave a little review? :) - s/2723704/1/Right-In-Front-Of-Me

Warnings: No warnings so far but please keep an eye on this throughout the chapters.

Disclaimers: All characters belong to Maki Murakami (as well as some odd potatoes).

"Get out!" The blonde towering above me growled threateningly.

"But what have I done?" My breath hitched in my throat and I could feel tears burning at the edge of my violet eyes.

"Now, Brat!"

"But?"

"NOW!"

The man grabbed my shoulder and pushed me towards the door. I couldn't help but yelp at the ferocity of his force. His nails bit into the exposed flesh that wasn't covered by my tank-top. "Yuki... please you're hurting me..." The tears rolling freely down my cheeks now, smudging away the make-up I had put on that day to cover the last lot of bruises he had given me.

The next thing I knew I was on his door step, standing in the bitterly cold November wind and shaking through shock and despair, my left shoulder was beginning to throb dully and there would be another bruise there soon to match rest. All the ones I deserved for being such an idiot. Such a brat.

Yuki had been drinking all day. He doesn't do it often I admit but there are days, the ones he claims that are extra stressful due to work, memories or me just being annoying, where he will overdose on his poison of choice. Those days used to be rare, perhaps once every couple of weeks or near a deadline but I hate to admit that it has become much more of a regular occurrence these days. I don't mind, it's part of him it always has been. I always think of him having the taste of tobacco and alcohol on his lips, those faint hints of flavor that made him only more dark and mysterious.. He just wouldn't be my Yuki without them. I love him. People laugh at me for that but I truly do. If I didn't why would I always return to him, even after he treated me like this? This is nothing though, there are times where he had... I shook my head to clear me of the memories that I wouldn't let intrude.

Sighing, I followed my feet, they were bare and already beginning to turn numb from the cold of the pavement. This time I wasn't lucky enough to be wearing shoes and a jacket. So I was clad in nothing but my jeans and a tank top. My punishment for living with a man who can afford underfloor heating. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around myself to try and protect myself from the cold and I winced pathetically at the pain in my shoulder. Where would I go this night then? Not to my parents. No they didn't care, not since they had found out about my lifestyle choices, shall we say. I was the black-sheep homosexual of the family. I was the outcast and I haven't talked to them for nearly a year now, not since I admitted my feelings for Yuki. Of course my sister didn't mind, she was in fact thrilled her big brother was in a relationship with her favorite novelist but when my father found out she was still in contact with me he put a stop to that and burned all of Maiko's books too. I could go to Hiro perhaps. Though there have been a few times recently when I had gone to his after being 'ejected' from Yuki's home and he had threatened to 'beat the shit out of him for what he had done to his Shuichi'. I couldn't give Hiro another reason to want to hurt Yuki. My life wouldn't be worth living if Yuki wasn't in it and if he was hurt and the hands of my best friend, I don't think that I could ever forgive him. Part of me also though in fear that if Yuki was capable of hurting me, he could also hurt Hiro.

And then there were the others. Could I trust them? Suguru, Sakano or even K? No I don't think I ever truly regarded them as friends, they were more like work colleagues. They only seemed to care about my performances or my voice. As long as I was still the happy go lucky boy they had learned to love that would make them millions.

A sudden cold breath of wind rushed around me and I wished I had managed to grab a jumper, or something at-least. The weather had been dropping rapidly for days and we were predicted snow by the end of the week. There have been times recently when I actually considered making a bag up and stowing it in the garage or something, next to his precious cars. Filled with food, water and clothes, I could grab it at a moments notice if I found myself out here on the streets again. But I always though, what was the point? I mean, I always imagined deep down in my heart that this time would be the last time or that he would come chasing after me as I left, apologizing and pulling me into his warm embrace. I wish that would happen I really do but I think I have always had my head up in those candy floss clouds. Clouds like the ones that hung in the sky this very night. Darting across the moon. Looking almost opalescent in their loveliness.

My legs had carried me to the park. The same park where I had met my angel so many months ago. Frost had carpeted the grass making it look jeweled and it dug into my feet like shards of glass as I walked over it towards the bench, that too was covered in little gem stones of dew that glinted as the moonlight sparkled off them. The world looked so pure and innocent this night. Humanity locking themselves away from the world in the warmth with their loved ones. It was just me and the moon. I smiled looking upon the goddess that hung effortlessly in the sky, forgetting my worries and marveling at her beauty. My mother always said I was a child of the moon. Always at peace in my crib on nights when she would shine into my bedroom. The moon was my strength and it seeped into me to cleanse my soul.

My skin stuck to the bench, even through jeans it stung me and I pulled my knees high up-to my chest, resting my chin on them and rocked back and forward in a vain attempt to get warm, replaying the nights events in my head trying to figure out why I had been disregarded this time but all that kept coming back to me was just how stupid I was.

I don't know how long I sat like that for. My skin had turned bitterly cold and eventually turned numb, any longer and I was bound to have frost bite on my toes. It wasn't much near 10pm and I had only been out here for one or two hours but the night was already freezing and deathly black. I was lost so deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice the tall man with the long brown hair coming towards me. He held his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders before dropping down to meet my eyes. "Shuichi...?" He kissed my forehead and I let him pick me up, snuggling against his chest for warmth before I closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep, rocked by his embrace. Very faintly though, but I'm sure I was imagining it I could hear him say very gently "I found you at last... my Shuichi."

So here we go all over again. And something different with this fic... I'm writing it because I want to! Not as some outlet of my depression, though I'm sure ill end up triggering myself by the time this is all over. Anyway this means that I will more than likely try *fingers crossed* to finish it. Its been a while since I last wrote anything and I hope I can still weave my magic that you love so much. And yes of course this is going to get darker... a LOT darker. I have so many fucked up plans for this mwuahahaha. I thought that this chapter was quite tame for me.

Your humble servant Ed.

And please review. You have no idea how happy it makes me to get little emails saying you enjoyed something of mine.