Bonjour everyone! This is just a quick OneShot songfic about the father-daughter relationship that forms between Alucard and Integra on the night of Arthur Hellsing's funeral. I hope you all like it and please make sure to read and review please. NO FLAMES ALLOWED!!! ONLY CONSTRUCTIVE CIRITIQUE IS PERMITTED IN WAY OF FLAMING!!! Thank you all in advance for reviewing. Hope you enjoy!
Blessed be,
- L!z
Song: "My Immortal" by Evanescence
Disclaimer: The anime and manga of Hellsing is not owned by me but is owned by Kohta Hirano and should be praised for making such a kick ass anime/manga. I also do not own the rights of the song "My Immortal" nor do I own the contract for the band "Evanescence." I am just a huge obsessed fan who has heard every single one of their songs.
P.s. For the wonderful people who have read and reviewed my previous work for my story "Fields of Innocence" am sadly writing that the story may not be updated till sometime in the next couple of weeks or so. Due to the fact that I have Christmas shopping to do and I also have major writer's block. Until then only OneShots and disturbingly funny FanFics will be coming your ways. Thank you for your reviews once more they really made my day, er, night actually. I love you all and give you all and your works standing ovations!!!
Please read and review!
- L!z
My Immortal
This SongFic is dedicated to the friends that I have lost touch with during the course of a move that I had just endured
I will forever treasure them in my memory and think about them often
Wishing them the best of luck and hoping they find happiness and success in their lives
I shall miss you all dearly
Adieu mes amis je m'ennuierai de vous
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it wont leave me alone
Ten years ago…
The rain poured with a vengeance upon the scared Earth as though it wished to purge it of the sins that had been committed upon it. The steady drumming of each drop falling mingled in with the soft tears. Flowing steadily down her cheeks Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing looked on at the casket before here. She couldn't even hear what the priest was saying. She could not hear what anyone was saying. Only the sound of the pounding rain and her own heart silently but surely breaking away into a million tiny pieces of despair.
These wounds wont seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just to much that time cannot erase
The ceremony had ended. The soldiers paid their last respects with a salute and an amen before departing. All that was left was Walter and Integra.
"Its going to be alright Miss Integra." Said Walter as he laid a hand on her shoulder but she shrugged him off.
"I'm sorry Walter." She amended quickly her voice strained as she tried to keep it even. "But please leave me right now. I need to be alone with him…please." Her voice was desperate with a mute nod he gave her shoulder a squeeze before departing. He would say his goodbyes later.
When she felt for sure his footsteps had drifted away into nothingness she forgot who she was. Sinking down onto the ground before his casket. The mud staining her clothes and her skin. She wept. The tears flowed generously from her ice blues as she wailed without a thought in the world. Her father was gone, it was over. She couldn't go on, it was just too much. Visibly shaking from head to toe she sobbed and beat her fist angrily against the cold mud.
"Why? Why? Why? WHY?!" she cried a pound between each word. "Don't go! Don't leave me! Father…!" she fell forward onto the ground. Integra's breath came in ragged gasps as she tried to control herself. She couldn't get up. Her body felt numb. I want to die, she thought in despair. He's gone…he's never coming back, I'm all alone…her thoughts became a pitch black swirling vortex of vileness. Pitch black thoughts, pitch black words, and a pitch black life, which followed into a pitch black world. Her whole existence was black. No it was grey, grey dull and meaningless. Without her father she was nothing. She was broken.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have…
All of me
"Your not alone child." Came a deep voice. She knew the voice and loathed it. But did not have the energy nor the strength to acknowledge it. She felt the rain stop beating on her back and turned her head. She saw a pair of black shoes covered in mud. Traveling her eyes upward she saw the beginnings of a soaking wet Alucard who held an umbrella over her head.
"Alucard…" she whispered as fresh tears became anew. "Alucard…" and suddenly with all the energy she had in her she reached out for him. "Alucard…" he smiled down at her. At first she thought it was in mocking but the sincerity behind it all was evident. His eyes had lost their mocking and had in them placed a gentle concern. Taking her hand she gripped it as tight as she could.
"I am here…Integra." He said, shocking her at first with the use of her name.
"Alucard…please don't leave me." she begged him and he nodded. Pulling her into him he held her as she sobbed into his shoulder. Burrowing deeper into his chest in hopes of some alleviation of the burden she now held on he oh so frail shoulders.
"I'll never leave you little one, as long as you want me. I am forever bound to you
My master, I'll always be with you." He gently rocked her back and forth and let her have her fill of tears and sobs. When she was done he gently stood up with her in his arms. She refused to let go. Her tiny hands were curled into a fist in his clothing to stop him if he had any intention of letting her go. But he did not.
Instead he gently rubbed her back. Sending waves of calming reassurance throughout her body. She shivered.
"You are cold master?" he asked her and she nodded.
"Yes." She whispered into his chest with a muffled sound. Prying her fingers gently out of his jacket he held her with one hand and wrapped her in voluminous trench coat with the other. Warmth spread throughout her body as she snuggled deeper into it. He held her once more and together they walked back to the mansion and to her rooms.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it holds
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice has chased away
All the sanity in me
Setting her down gently on the bed she still held onto him.
"You said you wouldn't leave." She pointed out still trying her best to hold onto him with cold half frozen hands.
"And I shall not break that promise master." And he unwrapped her from his trench coat and let it fall to the ground and through the floor to the dungeons where it would await him. "But we must get you dried off first." And she nodded and for once let herself be handled by the Nosferatu.
He took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom from there he left for a split second only to reappear with a pair of freshly laundered pajamas courteously of Walter. A soft cotton night gown that came down just below her knees with baggy long sleeves. Just below the breastbone lay a single pink silk band for a bit of extra flare.
"Is this alright?" he asked her and she nodded.
"Yes it is."
"Good." Picking her up and setting her down on the counter of the sink he took of her jacket and her shoes and let them dry as they were draped over the bath tub. He then began to wipe off her legs and her face from all the mud and the caked on tears that had left nasty stains upon her soft skin. When he was finished he straightened up and spoke.
"Now I want you to get changed into your night clothes and make sure the rest of the mud is off and your completely dry." She nodded mutely once more and proceeded with the task before her. Any other day she would have yelled and screamed at him for being so demanding with her. But today and tonight the last thing she wanted to be was Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing the Head of the Hellsing Family and Director of the Hellsing Organization, Knight of the Round Table. No, tonight all she wanted to be was the little girl she was. A child in need of comfort and a helping hand. Tonight she was Integra Hellsing, the twelve year old girl who had just lost her father. Nothing more and nothing less.
Stepping out of the bathroom she found Alucard waiting for her. A fire was going and a tea tray with a fresh pot along with a few sandwiches and a couple of tea cakes lay awaiting her. He walked over to her and held out his hand for her. The corners of her mouth twitch upwards as she took his hand. Alucard's large hand curved around her's perfectly as he gave it a gentle squeeze. She squeezed back.
"Walter brought up a tray. Are you hungry?" she shook her head as she sat down on her bed.
"No, can I have some of the tea?" she asked, wanting an excuse to do something with her hands. Alucard nodded and proceeded to hand her a cup. She took it and blew on it and took a sip. It was good, a sweet crème tea blend that rushed down her throat and warmed her. Alucard sat close to her and watched her.
"How are you feeling?" he asked her as she took another sip.
"Like I want to die." She replied simply and then she felt another wave of tears coming on. Sensing it Alucard pulled her into him, setting the tea aside and back on the tray in the same motion.
These wounds wont seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just to much that time cannot erase
"There, there master it will be alright."
"No it wont!" she wailed as she beat her fist against his chest. "It will never be alright. He's gone! Gone, gone forever! Gone! Gone! Gone!" she beat the words into his chest with her tiny fist. Till she broke down once more into fitful sobs. "I don't know what to do. I can't stand it. Th-th-this is…just…its just too much!" Alucard rocked her back and forth as he rubbed her back.
"I know little one, I know. It hurts now but believe me. They say that time heals all wounds but in its own respect all it does is merely numb them. So over time the pain will numb and you will go on with your life. What thou doesth not kill ye makes ye stronger." She sniffed.
"How does it make me stronger when I feel like I am already dead?"
"Oh master you are not dead." He said as he kissed the top of her head. "No, master, you are merely broken."
"B-b-broken?" Integra asked, her voice shaking.
"Yes broken." And he pulled her back to face her. Wiping away the tears with his thumb he smiled down at her. "And when something is broken you must pick up all the pieces and put them back together again."
"How?" she drew a shaky breath. "How am I supposed to pick up all these pieces? How am I supposed to do any of this? I'm just a little girl for crying out loud!" and to her surprise he smiled. "Why are you smiling?" she demanded angrily and he chuckled under his breath as he stroked her cheek.
"Because you my dear master Integra have forgot something very important on how to pick up the pieces."
"What's that?" Integra asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"You not only have Walter to guide you through all of this. To make sure the paperwork is done correctly. The mail getting delivered. The soldiers kept in check. Your tea to be served. No, you have something else. Do you know what that is?" she shook her head.
"Tell me." and he smiled as he stroked her hair and laid her back down on the bed. He didn't answer until he had her fully situated under the covers and she was nice and toasty warm.
Leaning over her he stroked her hair and tucked the cover's under her chin.
"Integra you have and always will have me to help you pick up the pieces. I will always be here to guide you, hold your hand, lend you my shoulder, and I will always be here to keep you from harm. To let nothing and no one stand between you and your goal. I am yours. Your humble servant and Knight, your monster. Always ready and waiting. That is a promise little one that I will never break. You have my word on that." She didn't say anything as he kissed the top of her forehead.
"And now master, its time for you to rest." He kissed her forehead once more and when he pulled back he stroked her cheek. She said nothing as he smiled down at her. "Sleep sweet…my Integra." And for the first time in months, Integra smiled.
"Thank you Alucard." She replied smiling back up at him. "Stay with me tonight?"
"Of course my master." And with that she threw the covers back on one side. He slid under them gracefully. He was now only dressed in his slacks and his crisp white dress shirt that was soft and comfy to the touch. She snuggled into him and he wrapped his arms around her.
"Sleep sweet Alucard." She whispered into his chest and she could feel him smile.
"And you my master." He hummed a soft lullaby under his breath for her. She sighed in content as she drifted off into a blissful slumber.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have…
All of me
Present day…
Standing side by side before the elegant gravestone before them was Alucard and Integra. With no one around they now stood wrapped in each other. Integra leaned into Alucard as Alucard held her in both of his arms. On around her wait and he other rubbed her back and her forearms gently. Silent tears streamed down her eyes as Integra allowed herself the one day and the one night where she was not the Head of the Hellsing Organization. Instead she was merely a young woman, missing her father and in the comforting arms of her protector. The No - Life King Alucard.
"Its going to be alright, little one." he whispered to her. She nodded.
"You tell me this every year Alucard so why do I still weep?" and he chuckled softly.
"Because you are only human master. It is only natural."
"It is only foolish." She remarked bitterly.
"Foolish nature I suppose then."
"Damn right." Laughing slightly Alucard hugged Integra to him tightly.
"Do you want to go back to your rooms now? Or do you want to stay longer"
"I think its time to go back now."
"As you wish my master." And she couldn't help but smile slightly. It had been ten years since the day of her father's funeral but every year it was the same.
Every year he picked her up and cradled her in his arms. Bundling her up in his trench coat as he walked with her like this to her rooms. She cried into his chest, silently thanking God no one was ever there to see her like this. No one but Alucard, the one person she trusted above all else. He may have been a monster, but he was her monster. Her's and no one else's.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though your still with me
I've been alone all along
In her rooms they lay as they just did ten years ago. Integra forgoing her usual men's pajama's for the night as lay in her cotton night gown. Alucard in slacks and his comfy dress shirt. Together they lay wrapped around each other. Savoring the time in which they could finally just let go. The only time they were free. Alucard twirled a strand of her hair between his fingers as Integra drew imaginary pattern's on Alucard's skin.
Bliss
And as the rising dawn approached. They slowly drifted off to sleep. A sleep that would be the single most beautiful and wonderful thing they would enjoy for the year till the time came once again for them to resume their duties. But just for that one night as they lay entwined in each other's arms they whispered to each other.
"Sleep sweet my Alucard."
"Sleep sweet my Integra."
When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have…
All of me…
Of me…
Of me…
Of me…
Fin