Title: Shipping Shenanigans
Prompt: 01. Crackfic
Yuffie made a grab at the paper in Reno's hands, but he held it out of her reach, using his superior height to his advantage.
"Give it here!"
"No way, princess."
"Why did you write Tifa's name next to mine? I'm sleeping with you, ya dumbass," she snapped, swatting him on the back of his head.
"For the same reason you write Cloud, Tseng, Rufus, and Rude next to mine," he replied waspishly. She sniffed imperiously.
"I'm a girl," she huffed, as if that explained everything. He arched an eyebrow at her. "Every girl wants to see her boyfriend kiss another guy." Reno made a face, then scanned the bar. He saw Elena and Tseng in a corner table and smirked. Laney wouldn't let him down.
"Hey, 'Lena!" he shouted. Elena looked up from the conversation she'd been having with the older Wutaian man. She offered Reno a small wave, and Tseng chewed viciously at a western fry, glaring mutinously at his underling for interrupting his date. Elena raised her eyebrow at Reno, refusing to shout across the bar.
"You ever fantasize about Tseng kissin' another dude? Like Rufus or Cloud." Tseng had stopped chewing and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head. Seated at the bar, Cloud choked on his drink, amber liquid burning his throat and making his eyes water. Zack laughed loudly, thumping the bar top with his fist. Elena licked her lips.
"Well, sure. Duh," she said as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Zack howled with laughter, clutching at his sides. It was now Tseng's turn to choke, his head bowed. Elena patted him absently on the arm. "There, there," she soothed. "It's not so bad. Zack would be very tender with you." Tseng pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting the blood that attempted to discolour his normally cool composure. Cloud nearly fell off of his stool, and beside him, Zack nodded sagely.
"I am tender." Cloud glared at him, murderous, his face bright red.
Reno groaned and let his head sink to the table, staring into his lap and cursing Yuffie into oblivion for even bringing up the subject. The grinning ninja wormed her head into his lap and stared up at him.
"See? I told you: women ship indiscriminately and shamelessly," she giggled. She lifted her head up and gave him a quick peck on his lips. She walked her fingers up his thigh. "But for real, you ever kiss anyone else and I'll kill 'em, and you won't get laid for a year."
Still hopelessly addicted to these two. Throughout these prompts, different people will be shipped with different people, but Reno and Yuffie are stuck like glue. And yes, Scissor Sisters did inspire the title. +1 for you!
Peace, love, and chai~