On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
Tick.
Tap.
Tock.
Tap.
Tick.
Tap.
Tock.
That is the sound of Freddie Benson sitting in his first ever detention.
With a sigh, he stopped the off-beat tapping of his pencil to observe his surroundings for another moment. To his right a guy was folding paper airplanes and tossing them out the open window. To his left a girl was, oddly enough, chewing her own hair.
Upfront sat Ms Briggs, his teacher and the very woman who was half responsible for his being here - the other half of the blame lay entirely in the hands of a certain feisty blonde he was friends with.
Class had been particularly boring that morning, as Ms Briggs had decided that the class needed more appreciation of classic literature, and was reciting scenes from her favourite Shakespearean play, Macbeth.
"Stars, hide your fires! Let not light see my black and deep desires." She cried, her hands gesturing wildly.
Of course, the class of thirteen year olds did not care about the work of a man who had both lived and died long before their time. If Ms Briggs hadn't been so absorbed in her recital, she would have noticed Gibby Munck in the second row staring out the window, or perhaps Jeremy Pearson in the third row whose head was slowly drooping (to be disturbed every few minutes by a sneeze). She may have even noticed Carly Shay in the back row, head on her hand, her mind clearly not on the tragic Shakespeare play (in fact she was really dreaming about being asked by a certain blonde boy named Jake to the upcoming school dance). If Ms Briggs had noticed Carly, then she surely would have noticed Freddie Benson, sitting next to her, also in a daydream (except he was thinking about taking Carly to that school dance). She then would have noticed Carly's good friend and Freddie's not so good friend Sam, who was sitting next to Freddie, furiously scribbling away on a piece of loose paper.
Now, had Sam been a very studious child this wouldn't have been a suspicious action at all. However, Sam was anything but studious, and her doodlings were anything but on topic. Sticking out her tongue in concentration, she drew the last few strokes with a sense of finality, then held the paper back for inspection. With a nod of satisfaction, she folded it in half and started to contemplate her next move.
Freddie was jolted out of his daydream by something small, wet and painful being lobbed into the side of his head. After quickly glaring at the blonde sitting next to him, he retreated back into his daydream.
Shooting another spit ball at the boy next to her, Sam tried again to get Freddie's full attention. After sending a third spit ball his way, she finally received an angry "What!?" as payment.
"Pass this to Carly." She whispered, sliding him the note.
He took the note from her, then looked over at Carly, who was still lost in her own world.
"Hey Carly," he whispered to her, snapping her out of her fantasy, "Sam wanted me to give you this."
Just as he was about to place it on her desk, he was interrupted by a loud "Ahem" from the front of the room.
Wincing, he turned towards the sound to see Ms Briggs standing at the front of the room, hand on hip.
"Freddie, were you passing notes in my class?"
Not waiting for an answer, she strode to his desk and yanked the paper out of his hand. Freddie held his breath as she started unfolding it.
For an awkward few seconds Ms Briggs said nothing, her eyes simply sweeping the paper.
"Detention. Here. After School." She said through clenched teeth, her fist crumpling the paper into a ball. With that she turned and walked back to her desk at the front of the class, tossing the paper ball into a trashcan.
"Alright class, where were we?"
Returning his eyes to his own desk, he returned to his repetitive pencil-tapping, now imagining hundreds of way to get revenge on Sam.
Half an hour later, it was finally over.
With a sigh, Freddie picked up his bag and headed out the door. To his surprise, Sam was standing outside, casually leaning against a block of lockers.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as he approached her.
"I was in the neighbourhood. How was your first ever detention, dork?"
"Who says it was my first detention?"
Sam just looked at him sceptically.
"Fine it was my first detention."
"I can't believe I'm about to say this but…" she paused for a short second, "I'm sorry for getting you detention."
Freddie hesitated for a moment, then grinned. "Carly made you say that, didn't she?"
"Maybe I was just feeling charitable since its Christmas."
Now it was Freddie's turn to give her a sceptical look.
"Fine, Carly made me apologise."
"Well, I appreciate the gesture."
They started walking out of school in a comfortable silence, and it wasn't until they were halfway to Carly's apartment that Freddie thought to ask the question that had been bugging him all detention.
"What exactly did you write in that note?"
"It wasn't so much what I wrote as what I drew…" she replied, an evil grin spreading across her face.
"Don't tell me you drew her head on a hippopotamus' body again?"
"No, this time it was an elephant."
Freddie groaned - Ms Briggs would hate him forever for that.
"Hey if it helps, I'll come clean about what really happened to her tomorrow."
"Why didn't you just tell her this morning?"
"What, and let you miss out on the joys of your first detention?"
They both laughed, now knowing that detention with Ms Briggs was anything but joyful.
"So are you coming in?" Sam asked, gesturing to Carly's apartment door?
"I'll meet you there, I'd better explain to my mum where I've been."
"Good luck. Hey – maybe she'll disown you."
"Don't get my hopes up, Sam."
"Merry Christmas Freddie."
"Merry Christmas Sam."
Sometimes, Freddie couldn't help but think she wasn't so bad after all.
…a detention with Ms Briggs.