Everybody lies, it's obvious. As someone able to read other's mind, Charles Xavier has clear proofs of how true this statement is. But he's also sure that he's the worst type of liars.
Why? Because he's trying to deny his own feelings and crippling thoughts.
Charles is haunted by paralyzing truth even now, when he's sitting alone in the gabinet. He looks through the window at students running around in the garden, smiling and laughing. Professor X, how they call him, tries to convince himself, tries with all his heart. But he can't. It's doubtful that he ever will convince himself to hate Erik Lehnsherr.
It's been seven months since Charles lost his two closest friends – the only people whose thoughts he at least tried not to read. Seven long months and he still can't deal with the past. Loss of Raven was really painful, but not so surprising - she has been biased critic of his views on mutants for a quite long time. Charles also shouldn't be surprised about that fact that Erik left him, but he actually was. Of course he could follow friend in a great war against homo sapiens, but it just wouldn't be right. For the very first time in his life Charles had to choose between what's right for humanity and what's good for him. It was hard, overwhelming decision and he had to make it, there was no other way. Charles have been trying not to read Erik's mind but he literally felt magnitude of thoughts and feelings everytime he's been near to his friend. This feeling, this constant tension between him and Erik was intense, involving, maybe even destroying. And it gave Charles hope that maybe they would work it out, maybe they would be happy. Charles and Erik have learnt so much from each other and about each other. Together they've been like this perfect complementary opposites. Now the only things left are memories, which can't fill this horrible emptiness in Charles' heart and mind. But even if, they wouldn't fill it with hate or anger. How could Charles Xavier hate the best thing that ever happenned to him? Denying this fact is pointless. Sadness and longing don't turn into hate just like this. Life is way too complicated for such simple solutions. They would rather develop into constant painful tortures and Charles doesn't believe that he will ever be prepare for something like this.