Code Geass belongs to Sunrise
Title: Pink Memories
Notes: (1) This is a ficcional work, elements of the original work can be altered for better compatibility with this story.
(2) English is not my first language, sorry my grammar.
I hope you enjoy!
Kururugi Suzaku remained lying on the unmade bed, his eyes half-open faced the woman. Her long pink hair fluttered as she dressed, she put on her shoes and took the money on the table. Without saying a word or any glances, she walked out to the room. Kururugi stared at the doorway for a few seconds as his eyes filled with water. He felt wrong and dirty, was tainting her sacred memories.
The door opened a few minutes later when Nunnally appeared on the doorway, her expression annoying. Suzaku pulled the sheet over his naked body.
"Again?"
"This is my room," he replied, not wanting to argue.
"This is my house!" She cried. Since Suzaku had become her guardian after her brother's death, she had invited him to live with her. It was more practical for both, and even though she was now an adult and did not need someone to protect her, she liked the company of her childhood friend.
"I'll take her to a hotel next time," he replied uninterested, looking away to the window.
"Suzaku, I don't care if you have a girlfriend, or bring her here, but this girl, she's..."
"... a prostitute?" He confronted Nunnally, but the tears that he almost spilled were still there, waiting for the moment.
"...with the pink colored hair" she snorted.
How much time had passed? Ten years? Maybe a little more and everybody followed with their lives. It was not as if Nunnally did not miss Lelouch and all friends she lost, but life went on and all those important people she had lost, all of them, had made a huge effort so that she could have the life she was carrying now. Live and continue was not just for herself.
But Suzaku had never been able to do the same. He was still stuck in the pain that Euphemia's death had brought him. From princess to monster and then to martyr, but none of those titles mattered to him. All that mattered were those damn feelings he could not give up.
"You were not the only one who lost someone," she didn't want to go down that speech again. But if Suzaku was incredible in many ways, that part of his life swallowed into darkness.
"It's different."
"She was my sister too."
"But no one will ever show up wanting to take her place in your life, right?"
"And no woman needs to take the place that was the Euphie."
"Do you think it's okay for me to get involved with someone I'll never really love? Do you think it's fair to get involved with someone who will always be in the background?" The voice screamed out, sad and painful, and the tears finally trickled down his face.
Nunnally knew he was right, none of his brothers, and she had many, take the place of each other, but did not happen in the same way with a girlfriend. It would be hard to find a woman to accept living the shadow of what Euphemia mean for Suzaku.
"And this girl?" Nunnally referred to prostitute.
"It's different" he wiped the tears on the sheet. "She doesn't care what name I'm going to call her since the money is on the table."
"Is that enough?"
"That's all I deserve, after all" and his voice was bitter.
The woman's fingers clenched around the doorknob. Not only was the unconditional love for Euphemia that was still there, but the guilt for not having protected her, for not having avenged her death properly. Nunnally had heard a thousand times Suzaku claiming not to be worthy of the pure love Euphemia had given him.
"She loved you and I'm sure she would like you to love someone else" Nunnally said.
"But she'll never be able to love anyone" he answered through.
They stared at each other. Nunnally left the room, slamming the door and the tears he had held raining again, in abundance.
He understood Nunnally and knew she was right, but he could not love another woman, he didn't want, and he couldn't. He couldn't let anyone threaten the position that belonged to more sweet, pure and idealistic woman he met. He couldn't have the right to love someone else while she would never have the chance to do it. Maybe it was the wrong way to keep the memory of the woman, but it was how he would do it. And when missing and guilt were too big to hold in the chest, there would always be the pink-haired prostitute, whom he would call Euphemia and say all the "I love you" who were stuck in the throat.
N / T: Suzaku was very melancholy in this version, but I cannot imagine that he really has overcome the Euphie's death.
Thank you for reading.
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