He felt so empty. He had nothing to lose. His life was ruined the day when his wife died. He sat days in his dark flat without eating or talking to anybody.
He blamed himself and he was true. It was his fault. He did what his heart told him. During his whole life he tried to be rational and followed rules. Rules he found to be true and right. And the first time it really mattered for him, he failed. He knew what he should have done. It was so hard. He couldn't make the decision. He could neither save her wife's life nor do his job.
He cared about nothing anymore and nobody cared about him. All the people he used to get on well with, died or he neglected them. After a while they began neglecting him too. He had no relatives expect her. And he lost her. In fact he had nobody at the moment.
He gave up his job. He had to. He just couldn't carry on working. He was tired. In the office everything remembered him her.
He missed her so much. Her lost was too much for him. He saw his friends dieing next to him or due to him. He saw their relatives. He saw how hard it was for them to cope with the loss. He knew his job was dangerous but his relatives should have to mourn for him not he for them.
He could only think of the events of that day. He wanted to cry but he couldn't anymore. He was exhausted.
He wanted to die. There was nothing to live for.
When he closed his eyes he saw his wife. There was fear in her eyes. Scream, shots and blood. His wife's blood. It covered everything. He shouted and then passed out.
He had to relive that feeling again and again.
He blamed himself and he was true. It was his fault. He did what his heart told him. During his whole life he tried to be rational and followed rules. Rules he found to be true and right. And the first time it really mattered for him, he failed. He knew what he should have done. It was so hard. He couldn't make the decision. He could neither save her wife's life nor do his job.
He cared about nothing anymore and nobody cared about him. All the people he used to get on well with, died or he neglected them. After a while they began neglecting him too. He had no relatives expect her. And he lost her. In fact he had nobody at the moment.
He gave up his job. He had to. He just couldn't carry on working. He was tired. In the office everything remembered him her.
He missed her so much. Her lost was too much for him. He saw his friends dieing next to him or due to him. He saw their relatives. He saw how hard it was for them to cope with the loss. He knew his job was dangerous but his relatives should have to mourn for him not he for them.
He could only think of the events of that day. He wanted to cry but he couldn't anymore. He was exhausted.
He wanted to die. There was nothing to live for.
When he closed his eyes he saw his wife. There was fear in her eyes. Scream, shots and blood. His wife's blood. It covered everything. He shouted and then passed out.
He had to relive that feeling again and again.