A/N : This story begins at the time in the unknown future, when Michael and Sara meet up again (because, DUH, they will). It was a kind of emotional rendez-vous, but well, it comes to this point where Michael asks Sara if she has the key. Here's what happens next.

As always, please let me know what you think. It's a new story, and I really want to know if you think it's worth reading and writing. Please?

XO

PS : The title is from the Alexi Murdoch song, that is playing on repeat. I love it.

The room echoed with silence, as the words sunk in. Sara's breathing was heavy and erratic and her eyes were wide in shock. Michael just...Michael just stood there, looking intently at her.

"So this is why you wanted to meet up with me?" Her voice shook. "To use me yet again? To suck me into another conspiracy that ends up killing the people I love? For what, Michael? For what?"

He sucked in a breath. "It wasn't like that. But Sara, you left me in Gila, out of your own volition. I wanted to...I wanted to keep you with me, but you made it clear that thát wasn't what you wanted. When I found out you might have something that could set Lincoln..."

She interrupted him. "I DID NOT leave you in Gila, Michael, and you know it."

"How could I?" He huffed. "Tell me how I should have known this." The sarcasm had kicked in, and so had the bitterness. It was going to be a long night.

Sara bit her lip. She knew he hadn't heard the voicemail, but damn it, he should have known. If he knew anything about her, he should have known that she'd come back. Or, the thing that struck her the most. If he really felt the way he claimed to, he wouldn't have just sat there. He would have run outside and fought for her.

She connected their eyes and voiced her fears. "If you knew anything about me, you would have figured it out. And most of all – you would've fought for me."

"I can't make you love me, Sara!" It was a cry, a desperate cry, but she didn't hear it. All she heard was cowardness.

"You don't bother fighting, but feel no guilt whatsoever about using me every time your brother needs help?" She bit out. "Sara, I need you to make a mistake and Sara, I need the key your father gave you before he was hung in his office? Damn it, Michael!"

He looked at the floor. He wasn't using her, honestly, he wasn't. But if she was the one who could end this whole conspiracy, if she could free them all...then he needed her for other reasons than his heart. Her loud voice cut through his ears, and the painful words cut through his whole being.

"It's not like that."

"It's not?" She fumed. "Then what is it, Michael?" Her big chocolate brown eyes bore into his.

"Sara, I.."

She raised her eyebrows, daring him to continue. "You..."

"I'm not using you. I love you, but you just won't let me!" He ran a frustrated hand over his head.

A tear streamed down her face. "This – " she gestured around her, showing the crappy motel where they'd met up, the small leftovers of food from the vending machine and the contenents of the First Aid kit scattered on the bed, "This is you loving me?"

Michael swallowed hard. He knew it wasn't all that, but he would make it better for her in the future, after the whole conspiracy thing was cleared. He'd provide her with everything she wanted, he'd make her life so damn beautiful that she would wonder, time and time again, if it was all a dream. But right now, he could only try.

"Because," she continued angrily, "if this is your love, then I sure as hell don't want it."

-

Michael

Sometimes, sometimes, my mind is too strong

to carry on.

The words cut through him like a knife set on fire. It burned and numbed his whole being in a matter of seconds.

"...then I sure as hell don't want it."

"...sure as hell don't want it."

"...don't want it."

"...don't."

Sara's voice repeated in his head. Over and over, it was being played in loops. And every time he heard the words, his heart was being ripped apart a little more. He may have misinterpreted her actions in Gila, but the words she had thrown his way this time were unmistakable.

She hated him more than anything in this world. The same ammount in which he loved her.

It broke him, but he would not let her see.

Sara

My salvation lies in your love.

She regretted it. More than anything, she regretted the words she'd spat out. The way his face changed, showing his complete brokenness for only a few split seconds, made her heart ache. But just like that – his mask slipped on and he revealed nothing more to her.

It made her want to cry.

She hadn't meant it, of course she hadn't. She loved him more than she had every loved anyone, she'd never needed anyone this much. Sara wanted his love.

"Michael's been abandoned his whole life." Lincoln had said to her, and here she was, proving him right. She'd hurt Michael badly.

She wished to turn back time.

What would she have said then, if she could do it over again? A sigh escaped. He'd told her he loves her, and she'd refused him.

"Michael, I'm sorry." She tentatively took a step towards him, but he took one backwards, his empty eyes looking right through her.

"Hm." He hummed, shaking his head softly and clearing the emptiness from his eyes. "Look, Sara, like I told you before, this isn't about me. It is about an innocent man being hunted, the love of his life being killed and his son being charged with a murder he didn't commit. It is about your father, my father, and everyone else who has suffered through this conspiracy. You're right," he sighed "maybe I don't know you. But the person I think you are would try to make things different if she could." He nodded softly. "I know you need to think about this, so I'll be –" he pointed towards the closed bathroom-door. "I'll be in there. You take all the time you need."

Sara didn't need to think about it, but she did need to think. Over the last few minutes, her desire to be held by Michael was flying high. She'd never wanted it more, and she'd never been so far from it.

She needed to figure out a way to make this right.

Please, oh please, tell me what you think.

XO Loads of love, Laura