Chapter 1: That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him chapter title:
There is a silence between them that's not exactly awkward - chill, no cause for worry - and Lavi's just fine with that, he is, in fact , judging the distance between Allen's upper and lower jaw - 'Wow, your mouth's hanging open by 5cm, Moyashi-chan!' - so all he sees are nice,twinkly little sparks swirling around him like some demented starry merry-go-round when the kid's right fist flies out, clocking Lavi's - of all potential facial landing pads - nose.
' … I hope you liked that as much as I enjoyed listening to you confess about stealing my dango for the past 2 bloody weeks.'
Goddamn, Allen is such a sadistic ass and Lavi dearly wishes to wipe that shitty grin off the brat's face. His bleeding nose isn't helping things either, so much so that he's pictured and got the whole scenario when he gets back to HQ down like the back of his hand: Gramps is gonna raise his non-existent eyebrows before kindly enquiring if his-idiotic-excuse-of-an-apprentice had encountered ' a harlot so ravishing yet unpredictable, you could only be content with such a personal gift from her?'
Lavi cups his nose, then smirks - well, well, well, an epiphany couldn't have popped up at a better time.
' Glad to know you like the concept of a little… tit for tat, Allen-chan~ '
So he's calculated the odds of him surviving a certain beansprout's wrath and yes, he knows they're horrendously low and horrendously equal to a pre-meditated suicide but - hell - he's gonna take a shot anyway. Lavi leans over, his lone green eye twinkling, jerking Allen's collar forward so that the kid slips and-
Allen's lips met Lavi's.
Better to be a skinned rabbit than a disgruntled one at all.