How Drakken Stole Christmas

Disclaimer: A Merry Christmas it might be but I still don't own Kim Possible or How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

The good people of Middleton enjoyed many things; they enjoyed friendship and fame, good times and good food, teen heroes and teen stars, barbeques and backyards. They waved hi they waved bye, everywhere you looked a smile was to be found. But most of all more than the food and the friends the people of Middleton loved Christmas. The lights and the snow, the music and trees, gingerbread snaps and stockings filled with coming glee.

But just outside Middleton there lived one person who did not like Christmas. Oh how Dr. Drakken hated Christmas, he hated the lights and the sounds and the wreaths and the trees. Now don't ask why for none know quite why, this blue skinned man when asked about Christmas would say fie.

It could be that behind his scar left on his spirit was a slight mar. Or it could be that long blue overcoat, was so hot it made him fidget. Perhaps it was even one certain hero who whenever she defeated him would gloat. But perhaps it was neither scars with mars or spirits with a fidget. I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But whatever the reason his scar or a teenage redhead, he stood there on Christmas Eve wishing there Christmas trees and dreams were dead. Staring down from his lair with a dour blue glower at the bright lit trees and dainty icicles hanging from eaves. For even now he knew all the boys and all the girls in that happy town below were busy dreaming of toys with bright swirls.

Up behind him walked his green skinned assistant, and when she spoke the surprise caused his heart to stop for an instant, "Hey Dr. D, I'm off for my vacation, a whole week of nothing but relaxation."

"But Shego," he whined, "can't you keep what's important on your mind." Then looking down at the town, "They're hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer, "Tomorrow is Christmas it's practically here." Then he growled blue fingers drumming, "I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming."

"Oy," Shego sighed in despair, "can't you just leave them to their day down there?"

"No!" Dr. Drakken clenched his fist, "For I know that tomorrow down there in Middleton all those boys and girls will rush down to their toys. And then oh the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That's one thing I hate! The noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! Then the whos young and old will sit down to a feast. And they'll feast! And they'll feast! And they'll feast! Feast! Feast! Feast! They'll start on who-pudding and rare who-roast-beast, which is something this Grinch can't stand in the least."

Then Shego slapped her hand on his mouth with the force of a two ton car, "Get a grip Dr. D, you're not a children's book star, though I 'm beginning to think that you are."

But Dr. Drakken paid her no heed, for in his head he could already see their next deed. Every whos who and not who in Middleton, the tall and the small, would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'd stand hand-in-hand, and the whos who and not whos would start singing.

They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd sing! Sing! Sing! Sing! And the more Dr. Drakken thought of how they'd sing the more he thought, "I must stop this whole thing! I must steal it away, but how for I've not got a thief in my pay."

Then as his assistant and thief left him again, it came to him and his cold blue face chilled with a grin.

"I know just what to do," the mad scientist laughed in his throat. And grabbing a henchman's clothes he made a Santy Claus hat and a coat. And he chuckled and laughed, "What a genius am I, with this coat and this hat they'll never suspect it's a lie."

"All I need is a reindeer," Drakken looked 'round, but since indoors they are scarce there were none to be found. But did that stop Dr. Drakken? No he simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer I'll simply make one instead." So he called to his side Commodore Puddles. Then he took some red thread and tied a big horn to the top of his head.

With nails and rails he completed his illusion, turning his once proud hovercraft to a sleigh of olden day. Then he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks on his ramshackle sleigh and to the front his proud steed.

Then Drakken said, "Giddyap," and the sleigh started down towards the homes where heroes and their friends lay a-snooze in their town.

All the windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the boys and the girls were dreaming sweet dreams without care. When he came to the first house on the block, "This is stop number one," Drakken Claus hissed and he climbed to the roof empty bags in fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch. But if Santa Claus could do it so could this makeshift Grinch. He got stuck only once, for a moment or two. Then he stuck his head out the fireplace flue where the little stockings hung two by two. "These stockings," he grinned, "are the first thing to go."

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, around the whole room, and he took every present. Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! And drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorns! And plums! And he stuffed them in bags. Then Drakken, very nimbly, stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took their great feast! He took the plum pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox quick as a flash. Why, Drakken even took the last sip of eggnog.

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee, "And now!" grinned he, "I'll stuff up the tree!"

And then Drakken grabbed the tree, and he started to shove, when he heard a soft sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast and he saw someone but who? He saw little pink Rufus, that's who.

Drakken had been caught by this little naked mole rat, who had come to the room looking for his Santa hat. He stared at Drakken and squeaked, "Why Santy Claus, why, why are you taking our Christmas tree, why?"

But you know, Drakken was so smart and so slick, he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick! "Why, my sweet little rodent," the fake Santy Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side, so I'm taking it to my workshop my dear. I'll fix it up there and I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the rat, and he patted his head and he got him a drink and he sent him to bed. Then when Rufus went to bed with his cup he went to the tree and he stuffed the tree up.

Then the last thing he took was the hat from that rat. Then he went up the chimney himself the old liar. On the walls he left naught but some hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food he left in the house. Was a speck of food too small for even a naked mole rat.

Then he did the same thing to the other cozy houses, leaving speck of food too small for the other naked mole rats.

It was a quarter past dawn… All the whos who still a bed, all the not whos still a snooze. When he packed his sled, he packed it with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings! The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

Three thousand feet up, up the side of mount crumpet. He rode to the tiptop to dump it! "Poo-hoo to Kim Possible," he was grinch-ishly humming. "She and her friends are finding out no Christmas is coming. That Bonnie will rail and she'll rage, and Kim Possible will wail, she'll positively cry boo-hoo!"

"That's a noise," grinned Drakken, "I simply must hear." So he paused, and Drakken put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound, rising over the snow. It started in low then it started to grow…

But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sounded merry! It couldn't be so! But it was merry, very!

He stared down at Middleton. Then Drakken popped his eyes and he shook. What he saw was a shocking surprise.

Kim and Bonnie stood arm in arm, around them the tall and the small were all singing! Without any presents at all! He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came! Somehow or other it came just the same!

And Drakken, his skin ice blue in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, "how could it be so? It came without ribbons, it came without tags, it came without packages boxes or bags!" And he puzzled three hours, 'till his puzzler was sore. Then Drakken thought of something he hadn't before. "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means something a little more!"

And what happened then? Well in Middleton they say Drakken's small heart grew three sizes that day. And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, he whizzed with his load through the bright morning light and he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!

And he…

He himself…

Dr. Drakken carved the roast beast

Merry Christmas to all, peace on Earth and goodwill towards men.