A/N: "Hello Sick people…and there loves ones…" Hello this is my first House fanfic. I normally write for Lost. If you are familiar with my work (Hanso foundation SMJ FORCE, Survivor: The Lost Island, and The Attack of the Killer Eyebrows) then you know that I write random humorous stuff. Nothing is taken seriously. Hope you enjoy the story.

Cuddy and Wilson were standing in the lobby talking about the cafeteria's new pudding when house walked in.

Cuddy: Hello Hou- WHAT THE CRAP IS ON YOUR FACE!

House: I know, I know, I'm the sexiest looking hottie that you've ever seen.

Wilson: uhhhhhhh…

Cameron walks in

Cameron: WHOA! You're HOT!

House: Thanks, I knew that growing a gotee over night like Jack Sparrow was a great idea….Welcome to the Caribbean love!

Cuddy: Shave it off NOW House.

House: Shave your face off mommy

Cuddy: NOW! And do it in your office

House: You mean the bathroom…

Cuddy: No your office. I don't want your facial hair to plugging up the drains

House: Screw you.

House walks to the elevator, so he can get to his office, to start playing pokemon sewage purple.

Forman then walks in front of House putting out his hand and singing-

Forman: Stop in the name of love. Before you break my heart.

House then looks at him and hits Forman with his cane and proceeds into the elevator.

Chase then walks by

Chase: This pudding sucks! Oh hi Forman why are you on the ground?

Meanwhile in the elevator.

House: This is the day that you almost caught Captain House Sparrow!

Elevator: Stop in the name of love. Before you break my heart.

House: SHUT UP!

House continuously hits the elevator with his cane.

Elevator: Teriyaki!

God of the Elevators: You didn't say you sorry for hitting the elevator. TIMES UP. You're a marked man House Sparrow. You will remain in this elevator forever…

House: Crap…hey look a nickel!

TO BE CONTINUED…

Dedications for this story goes to the unmoving elevators in HOUSE MD that never really move but look like they move because of the corny lights that move behind the unmoving cheap elevator window…ya I pay attention to this stuff…