Chuck tried to imagine if he would have someone else in his life right now, someother than her.

Someone who wasn't brunette, bitchy, annoying, feisty, sweet, hot, sexy, amazing.. He tried but failed.

He knew that she was his only type.

He tried to imagine his life without her at all. He tried to imagine how it would fee like waking up every morning and not having her beside him, not having her telling him how proud she was of him and how much she believed in him when he was having a bad dayand he was tired and ready to give up with his company. He tried so hard but he failed. He couldn't live without her.

He tried to imagine where he would be now without her. Dead,most likely. Where he would be without her pulling him off from the roof top, pushing him to take over his fathers company when he died and most importantly, just being there. Where would he be if she wasn't there, loving him, needing him, taking him.

She was there when he wanted to be alone, she knew he needed her then thou he would say he wanted to be alone. She knew and she was always there. She had fought for him, hard and long, just like he did for her. She was saving him even long before their night together after Victrola. She was the only one who understood him because she was just like him. She pretended she didn't like his heinous and perverted comments but she did. They would always be there for each other. Always have and always will.

He knew she thought that she fell in love with him first because she said it first. She was wrong. He fell in love with her the first time he saw her. Everything about her had fascinated him from the beginning. He didn't realize his love for her until Victrola but couldn't say it out loud until it was almost too late.

He wanted to tell her many, many times but he failed.

He was a coward back then, he couldn't say it because he knew from experience that everyone who he loved, left. He couldn't let that to happen, he couldn't let her leave. So he hurt her more than anyone else ever had and he left her. He went away. After all the games and all the gossips, all the hard work they've put on to save their love, he had to go. But he till loved her, more than anything, the butterflies just couldn't be murdered.

But he came back. He remember thinking that what if she didn't want him anymore? What if he had hurt her too many time that she couldn't believe him? He felt so insecure. Chuck Bass was insecure.

The moment he saw her walking down the street, wearing a green coat, golden headband and looking absolutely stunning, he knew he would fight for her. No matter how long it took, he would get her back if she turned him down. But of course, those three letters, eight words, made her his.

She wasn't perfect but she was perfect for him. She was his everything, his life. And now after three years, she hated him. She left him. And it was his fault, he was to blame. It's been couple hours now since she left and he was sitting on the side of the bed thinking how he definitely crossed the line earlier..

He came home earlier than usual and he was planning on taking her out for dinner. When he had come home, he noticed a note from her saying she would go out for dinner with Nate, since he had asked, and that she would come home later. He thought he wouldn't ruin their dinner together thou he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. It was Nate after all. He shrugged it off quickly. She didn't want Nate anymore and they were just friends. He planned on how they would enjoy dessert after she was back Chuck Bass style. About an hour later she had come, looking little sick. She said it was nothing what shower couldn't fix so she went to have one. Chuck thought he wouldn't disturb her while she was in there just in case she would get mad. Maybe…

Girls just wanna have fun

Oh girl just wanna have fun..

Her phone. Chuck thought he would check who it was just incase it was someone important. Nate. He was about to answer when it stopped. Well he was sure he would call back if it was urgency.

Chuck was about to toss the phone on the table when he noticed something,. 6 messages. Who the hell was texting her so much? Chuck knew he shouldn't had but he couldn't help it, he had to know. So he looked. They were all from Nate. And all of them were sent in the past 10 minutes.

Come on, I know you felt it too. I could see it in your eyes…

Im not sorry I kissed you hun and I know your not either, otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me back..

I love you so much. And I know you love me, please give us a chance…

What the hell was this? HE HAD KISSED HER??? He couldn't believe this. And what did he meant that she had felt it too? Maybe she had? Maybe she did feel something, how could he know. They had their past and he was his first love. He tried to control her pulsing anger. He wouldn't make any assumptions, he would just wait till she got out the shower and he would ask her. He sit on the bed, looking at her when she came out from the bathroom, fully dressed. Maybe the reason why she looked sick when she came was because she wanted to leave him. Because she wanted Nate and wasn't sure how to break up with him. He was gazing down to the floor now and asked her "What happened". He could feel her eyes on the back of his head. When she answered, he could hear the worry in her voice but she was trying to cover it with confusion. "What do you mean.. I don't.." she started but Chuck cut her off "Don't lie to me, just tell me what happened with Nate". He know he sounded really angry, he couldn't hide it anymore. She walked over to the other side of the bed, staring at him for a while. Shaking her head, she whispered "Nothing, we just had dinner". That's it. She had the nerve to lie in his face. This made him furious. His face turned red, he was clencthing his fists and he shot up from the bed now facing her. Yelling "What do you mean nothing? HE FUCKING KISSED YOU!!!" She looked surprised, probably wondering how would he know. "Oh" This was all she could say. And it annoyed Chuck even further. "So did you enjoy it" Chuck asked, not yelling anymore but looking still angry, shaking a bit. She was looking at the floor but when he heard him asking that, she whipped her head up to look at him. "What?" she whipered. "Did you enjoy the kiss? Did you fall in love with him all over again? Couple smooching words from Nathaniel and your hooked again" he said in a mocking voice and continued his voice rising and he was starting to get angrier and angrier"I know you kissed him back. I know you enjoyed it! Do you still want him?! Do you?! DO YOU!??!" He shouted so loudly that it scared her a bit. She stayed quiet for a while, looking into his eyes. She was starting to get angry herself. "How can you even say that" She hissed. "Well it wouldn't be the first time. What else happened? Did you sleep with him?" She couldn't believe he was asking that. She couldn't believe that he could think that she would cheat on him! Silence took over the room. Chuck saw some tears in her eyes and he softened, his anger fading away a bit but he wasn't showing it. He needed answers. "How dare you. How dare you even think that" She said in a shaky voice, tears now freely dropping down her face. She gathered her things and went to the door. Chuck was trying to crap her elbow and stop her from going but her look stopped him. She looked hurt. "you know what Chuck. Fuck you" She whispered and left.

…Chuck couldn't believe how stupid he had been. Its been two hours now. He knew she needed time, he knew she didn't want him to come to her right away. He's been calling her every other minute for the past two hours thou. He couldn't help the fact that he was incredibly jealous. Especially when it came down to her and Nate, he knew she had a soft spot for him. This was getting ridiculous, he couldn't just sit there, doing nothing. He had to see her. After ten minutes, he entered Victrola. It wasn't open yet but he had keys of course, he owned the place. She had keys to there aswell and like he was guessing, there she was. Sitting on their sofa, the place where Chuck saw her for the first time. The real her. Chuck sat down beside her. She didn't look sad or hurt. If he didn't know her any better he would've thought everything was fine. But her eyes busted her cover. They were empty, lifeless. She still looked like a goddess thou, she always did. She turned her head and was now facing him. They looked each others eyes for a while.

"Im sorry"

That's all he said and it was he needed to say. She could tell he meant it, like he always did for her. She knew by just looking into his eyer, which were sincere, honest and full of love. She could tell he was more than sorry.

After those two very powerfull words, he noticed how her eyes softened and changed to warm, loving and underatanding. He didn't deserve her.

"I know"

She forgave him. Just like that. He took her in his arms and hold tight, like his life depended on it. And it did.

"I love you, Blair".