AGONY

Summary: One day, Theo's life changes when he encounters Hermione Granger wounded and helpless in an abandoned alley. But something happens – something he never expected to come out of it. Is it a curse – or a blessing? Theo will have to find out and see. AU, post-Hogwarts, doesn't follow the book after Battle of Hogwarts, kinda dark fic, rated T-and-later-possibly-M for violence, death and swearing and such. TN/DG, HG/TN, DM/HG.

(I suck at summaries. :S)

DISCLAIMER: The Harry Potter world does not lie in my possession, I only own this plot.

CHAPTER 1- Confusion

A/N: Hullo! So I came up with this idea a few days ago and I'm now putting it onto my computer. I came up with it when I was just thinking about the ship Theomione… I recently started shipping it a few weeks ago. :D I love it, but… When I actually think about it, seriously… The Theo in MY head will not fall really exactly completely for Hermione. Well, the Theo in my head is practically a male version of me [his personality, of course]- reserved, not exactly so trusting, a loner, not really into blood prejudice and all. I think the Daphne Greengrass in my head would be more suitable for him. She was the Ice Queen of Slytherin, she still controls her emotions, beautiful, reserved, but opens up to Theo. They fit together… I imagine them as both damaged people coming together, giving comfort to each other. At least, that's what I think. So the main pairings are Theo/Daphne, but I just put it as Theo/Hermione because they're the main characters and most of the story will be told from their P.O.V., altering from time to time, but they don't end up together and be warned- unrequited love approaching! There'll be unrequited love between Dramione as well as Theomione! Don't forget, this is a story about tragedy. But don't worry… there'll be a fair share of humor too, whenever I feel like writing with humor. ;) Okay this is too long… I should stop.

Anyway, enjoy! Don't forget to REVIEW and follow + favourite this if you like it! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter world and its characters, only the plot of this story. (:

In case you don't know – the scenes in italics are the flashbacks. The one-or-two words in the normal text are just some emphasis on the words. :3

Confusion.

Theodore Nott was in the middle of a mess.

Of course, it wasn't exactly his fault he was in this situation; it was his wretched father's fault of his position.

Thaddeus Nott had never been a kind, nor compassionate, man.

When his beloved mother, who was the only person who offered Theo any sort of comfort or protection, passed away when he was nine – at the hand of her own husband – Nott Senior had taken over his son's life, and had sought to pluck any 'weaknesses' he noted in his son. No, he hadn't been allowed to cry over his mother's cold body. No, he hadn't been allowed to go out and play with his childhood Muggle friends at the small park near the Nott Manor. Whenever he failed to please his sick father, he was subjected to abuse.

And, so, at an early age, Theo had learned to shut down his emotions from the outside world, keeping them locked into his heart instead.

He'd yearned for death to someday steal him away from this torture of a life he was experiencing. He'd wanted it so bad, damn it! What was the point of living anyway? He did not want to follow in his father's cursed footsteps and become a slave to the Dark Lord. He did not want to keep on living as if nothing was wrong and everything was right. He'd simply lost the will to live anymore. He walked around, an empty shell of the boy who was once Theodore Nott. He was just a shell with barely any more emotion left. He was damaged.

But all that simply stopped when Daphne Greengrass waltzed into his life.

She was beautiful; not just on the outside, but her heart was, too. They'd met on the first day of their first year, in the Hogwarts train, and they'd immediately became instant friends – something Theo didn't do very often.

Theo stared around the space glumly. He was glad he'd be away from his sadistic father for a year, but he was hoping he could make some friends, maybe… But he was alone.

He sighed. Maybe he should take out one of his favourite books and continue it. He hadn't finished it last night – his father had caused so much racket during the night with his stupid drinking habits-

His thoughts were interrupted as the compartment door slid open to reveal a really pretty, blonde girl, with startling, piercing green eyes that seemed to see into his very soul. They stared at each other, him sitting frozen and her standing next to the door, for a few moments, before the girl finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

"May I sit here, with you?" she asked.

He blinked and nodded. "Yeah… sure."

She smiled – his heart nearly stopped; she looked ten times more beautiful with that smile on her face – and walked in, settling down on the seat opposite him. She turned her green graze on him again and he found himself unconsciously swallowing.

"What's your name?" he asked her curiously.

"Oops, I completely forgot about introductions!" she grimaced. "I'm Daphne Greengrass." She gave him that smile again.

"Theodore… Theodore Nott. You can call me Theo." He grinned at her, a little cautiously.

She cocked her head at him, still smiling. "Theo. I like your name."

He returned her smile, albeit a little shyly, but was saved from answering by the arrival of two boys bustling inside their compartment.

"Hey, Theo! Really! We had to look for you all over! D'you have to go and hide all the time?" the dark-skinned boy smirked at him, punching his shoulder. Theo glared.

"I was not hiding!"

"Admit it, you were," retorted the blonde boy who was the other boy's companion. He blinked and he suddenly noticed Daphne. "Greengrass! Hey!"

Daphne dipped her head, one eyebrow perfectly raised (Theo found his eyes lingering on her face again – he hadn't managed to perfect that eyebrow-raising-thing, yet!) at him. "Hello, Draco, Blaise." Her gaze transferred to the other boy.

Blaise smirked. "Still uptight as ever, Greengrass?"

"I'd rather call it dignified instead, Zabini."

"Pssh, Greengrass, you're uptight and you know it-"

"You seem to know each other well," Theo commented, interrupting, a slight prick of jealousy stirring in his chest.

Draco shrugged. "We met last month – at my Manor, of course – there was one of those parties that Mother holds all the time." He wrinkled his nose, then glanced at Theo, frowning. "Come to think of it, Mother invited the Notts, too. Why weren't you there?"

Theo frowned. "I don't know." Strange.

Then he realized. His father must've rejected the invitation, obviously. Sourness inflamed his heart for a moment, but Theo kept his face as carefully guarded, as always.

Daphne stared at him, as if she was trying to tell if he were lying or not, but the two other boys (who'd already taken seats next to Theo) seemed to drink in his lie. Daphne was definitely observant.

"Eh, you didn't really miss anything much anyway," said Blaise. "Just boooring dances and stuff, as usual."

Theo shrugged and nodded. He'd been to many of the Malfoys' parties before anyway. But he hadn't noticed Daphne in any of them before… Maybe they hadn't been invited?

"Hey, Theo," piped up Draco hopefully. "D'you think we'll be able to join the Quidditch team this year?"

"I highly doubt it," Theo began pessimistically. "We're only first years-"

He was interrupted, however, by the slamming open of the door.

The culprit was a bushy-haired girl with flushed cheeks as though she'd been running along the whole train. Huffing a little, she asked the group, "Hello, have any of you seen a toad? Neville Longbottom's lost his, its name is Trevor and it's quite stubborn, hiding from its poor owner-"

Her flustered yet at the same time quite bossy speech was interrupted by a scornful snort from Draco. "Why would we want to help a blood traitor find his filthy toad?" Blaise echoed Draco's scoff.

Theo had heard of the Longbottoms from his father before. Apparently they were a pure-blood family who didn't care a whit about blood supremacy and all that- they were neutral, really. He merely allowed his lip to curl slightly in pretense of agreement to what his friend had said. He didn't really support blood prejudice… But of course, he had to keep it to himself.

Then, he noticed that Daphne had not made a single sound. Instead she simply wore the most emotionless mask he'd ever seen. Her eyes were blank as she stared at the intruder of their compartment. Hmm… Did she support blood supremacy? he wondered.

"Blood traitor?" echoed the girl, frowning. "How is Neville a 'blood traitor'? He's really nice! He's just clumsy, but that doesn't really matter. What does that mean, anyway? And how does that affect the cleanliness of his toad-?"

Blaise sneered at her. "Save us your boring questions and run along and annoy some else, will you?"

The girl looked offended. To Theo's surprise, she turned her gaze to stare right at him. Her eyes were a nice shade of deep brown, but they looked nothing compared to Daphne's magnificent dark green. And then he noticed… She seemed to be pleading with him with her eyes, asking him to help her.

What the heck? Why did she want his help? It wasn't his or his friends' toad that was lost, it was some random clueless boy who was probably going to be the last in their year.

Besides… He absolutely hated it when people stared at him, no matter in what way. He didn't really mind when Daphne watched him – it was quite soothing – but apart from her, any stare made ants crawl under his skin. It… it reminded him of his father staring at him when Theo had stood in his bedroom straight after watching his mother fall dead, staring at him hard with pure steel and hate in his eyes, and it reminded him of the way he'd thought to resist crying lest his father punish him again, even though that was the only thing he wanted to do.

He pushed the memory away.

He stared back at the girl with real contempt this time, his lip curling a little. "What do you want?" he spat.

She stared back at him, apparently startled, then her bottom lip quivered a little and she walked out of the compartment, slamming the door closed.

Theo blinked, confused. He'd caught the hint of a sob before the door closed. What did he say? Was she really that sensitive? Had what he said been really that hurtful? Or was he just really ignorant or something? He'd only asked her a question, for Salazar's sake! Girls were so confusing!

Draco clapped him on the back, smirking at him. "Good job, mate. You taught the Mudblood a lesson!"

He blinked. "She's a Mudblood?"

Draco shrugged. "Dunno, but she probably was." Turning to Blaise, he sniggered. "Did you see her face when Theo snapped at her?"

Theo felt a prick of guilt as he glanced away. Maybe he'd been a bit too harsh with her?

Thoughts of the girl had disappeared completely from his mind, however, as he looked up and met Daphne's surprisingly gentle green gaze. It seemed to be offering him reassurance, and he smiled at her a little. Somehow she seemed to know that he needed it. She returned the smile.

And he found himself losing himself in those mysterious emerald orbs all the way to Hogwarts, paying no heed to Draco and Blaise's random conversations.

Later, Theo had discovered that the girl who'd intruded their compartment's name was Hermione Granger, and she was, indeed, a Muggle-born, true to Draco's prediction.

They hadn't talked much throughout their first year, him due to confusion and the fact he didn't really honestly care if they were friends or not, and her probably due to her perhaps being still hurt by his attitude on the train, or Salazar-knows-what-reason.

But he'd noticed her eyeing him sometimes with a wary look in her eyes.

And to this day, Theo did not know the reason why she'd acted so offended by his reaction to her plea for support in the train.

Their second, third, and fourth year was exactly the same as their first.

They had finally started talking – just a little – in their fifth year. It was in the library, and he was doing his Charms homework for the day after the next, so he could spend some extra time with Daphne in the common room.

Theo frowned at his nearly essay in front of him. Sighing, he dipped the quill back into his ink jar, and –

"Hi."

Surprised at the voice – people didn't visit this particular secluded corner of the library very often – he toppled over his bottle of ink, and, to his dismay, it spilt over his essay.

He looked up and glared at the cause of the damage. To his surprise (which he covered up quickly), none other than Hermione Granger stared back at him guiltily.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she gasped, and walked forward, taking out her wand and pointing it at his essay, siphoning the spilt black ink off the essay and gathering it back into the jar. "I'm really, really sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you, I mean, I just wanted to talk, and, err, I guess I should've given you some warning-"

Theo raised an eyebrow (he'd finally managed to mimic it correctly from Daphne in third year). "Okay, I get it. It's fine. Thanks for clearing it." He put the quill back into the jar and rested it there. "What do you want? Sit down," he added, not forgetting the encounter in first year and not wanting something similar happening again.

She sat opposite him, wringing her hands a little. "Thanks."

He nodded and watched her, leaning back in his chair. "Well… what do you want to have to say to me?"

His confusion rose up again and his skin pricked in the all-too-familiar discomfort when she merely stared at him. What was with this girl and staring? For someone who was known as smart, she wasn't acting very clever right now. She stared at him, as if trying to figure him out, and as if he was a very confusing puzzle.

Then he noticed her gaze fall onto his lips and his eyebrows shot high up his forehead.

Was she checking him out or something?!

Once again, after five years, he found himself looking at her brown – still, of course, less beautiful than Daphne's - he noted that they weren't just brown, but chocolate brown. His eyes drifted slightly south and took in her lips – they weren't that bad –

Damn, he was stepping into dangerous territory. He reprimanded himself in his head. He had a girlfriend, for Salazar's sake! What the bloody hell was he doing?

He pulled his eyes back onto hers, glaring at her. "I said, what do you want, Granger?"

She seemed to snap out of her ridiculous trance at his harsh tone, and frowned, seemingly affronted.

"Well, if you don't want to talk, I'll just go-"

He clapped his hands over his face, infuriated. What did she expect for him to act like? All Mr. Polite over every single person? Sheesh. Were all Gryffindors like this?

"No, Granger," he growled, staring at her hard. "You can say what you want to say, then go away."

The annoying girl stopped pulling herself out of the chair and plopped back down on it, a grin tugging at her face.

And she burst into laughter.

Theo gaped at her incredulously. Was she mental or something?

She kept on laughing. He waited impatiently for her to finish.

She finally did, giggling a little, then she sat up straighter.

"Finished yet?" he growled.

She smirked at him – yes, she had the audacity to do that! – and nodded.

"Yeah, well…"

"Get on with it, Granger! I don't have all night, you know."

She rolled his eyes.

"Fine, calm down, Nott – really! I just wanted to chat a bit. I saw you sitting here, in my usual place, so I just figured maybe I'd come here and join you doing my essays, too-"

He blinked. "Granger, this is my usual place. Your usual place is on the other side of the library!"

Granger frowned at him. "No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't!" she shot back at him.

"It IS! For Salazar's sake, Granger-" he stood and pointed at the label at the nearest shelf. "You see that? 'Wizarding Classics'! Your 'usual' place is near the 'Advanced Transfiguration' section, damn it!"

She stared at him. "How did you know that?"

"Because I was looking for a good place in first year and I liked that place but every time I came you very conveniently chose that place to sit so I had to go find another place and I found this spot, and I quite like this place, thank you very much - no one ever reads the Classics so there are less visitors, so I'd quite appreciate it if you go the hell away, Granger." He scowled at her (covering his embarrassment at being caught rambling aloud) and sat back down.

She scowled at him. "Why are you so snappish all the time?"

He huffed. He was tired of talking to Hermione Granger. This was the reason he did not often associate with Gryffindors unless he had to. "I'm not. It's just you typical Gryffindors being over-sensitive."

"I am not over-sensitive! Nor is the rest of my house!"

"Feisty, Granger. Hate to disappoint you, but you and your lot are."

She rolled his eyes at him – what was it with her and rolling her eyes? – and finally backed down. "Fine, fine. This is not my usual place."

He smirked at her. "Told you so, Granger. And I'm in a hurry, so don't really have the time to ask about your attempt to deceive me, and I'd appreciate it if you go away to your place instead and leave me." He looked down, picked up his quill again and positioned it over the now-dried parchment, starting to write again.

He heard her sigh, and pick up her bag again and stand up, but the sounds stopped.

"Truce?"

"What do you mean, truce?" Theo asked, without taking his eyes off his essay.

"I mean… that maybe we could be friends? Like, not be enemies-"

"When were we enemies? We don't even talk."

He heard her sigh again. "I mean, how about sometimes studying together, maybe? Just friends, I mean?"

Theo was confused. What did she really want with him? He'd always thought she and the rest of her bloody Golden Trio weren't interested in any of the Slytherins.

His lips thinned. "I agree about the truce, but not studying together. I prefer being alone, or with Daphne." They'd been together quite a long time now.

When she didn't answer, he looked up at her, pausing writing his almost-one-sentence-left essay.

His curiosity was piqued when he found her scowling at him.

"What?"

She sighed. "Fine."

"You won't disturb me?"

She scowled at him, and he smirked again. "No."

He turned back to his essay. "Good."

"Good night, Theodore."

"G'night, Granger."

After that… well, true to herword, she hadn't disturbed him anymore, except for the occasional 'hello', casual short chats in the library when they crossed paths, and acknowledging nods in the corridors later that year and right up to sixth year.

But she still stared at him.

And Theo still didn't know why.

Not that I ponder on that much anymore, Theo thought as he rounded the corner silently. I've got better things to do.

And as if to outline this thought, a dreadful, drawn-out scream came from ahead of him.

Sooo? How was it? I definitely enjoyed writing this. I'm sooo gonna miss the holidays when they finish – I'll have to dig hard for time during school days. :/

Anyway – please REVIEW, AND FOLLOW + FAVOURITE if you liked it! ;D