Heart of the Hero
Disclaimer: Dragon Age belongs to Bioware and not to me.
Authors note: Female PC Mage and Cullen. I read what we become, by Crisium and fell in love with the story line for a Cullen romance. I thought i would give it a shot. Some spoilers, naturally. First Dragon Age story. First published fan-fiction ever actually. Please be nice. I'm still getting used to all of this.
Chapter 1: Martyr
It was the first time they had seen her look so free. Her arms were up and she was dancing in a circle. Round and round she went, with the biggest smile they had ever seen. She had never looked this beautiful before, with the bonfire casting a glow that lightened her face, and the free aura that surrounded her. No cadge could've held her.
You couldn't help but stare. Surrounded by the people who have been with her for the last year. All of whom were extremely loyal, and loved her to a fault. Especially one of them. Alastair stared harder than anyone. He was trying to think of a way where he could keep her forever. It wasn't fair that he was made king, without the ability to marry the one person that he wanted to. The only person that he truly loved. She was bouncing around the fire like she had not a care in the world. It was beauty in the rawest form. He wanted to keep her in that state forever. To make her smile the way she is smiling right now… forever.
She looked around turning in every direction before finally stopping in front of what she wanted. Walking right up to Knight-commander Gregior, she held out her hands with a giggle and pulled him into the throng of dancing bodies. Moving her feet to the Celtic rhythm. It was a beautiful sight to see. She looked like one with nature.
This was the biggest celebration that Ferelden had ever seen. Everyone was dancing in the street, not a care in the world. Especially not the Hero of Ferelden. She couldn't help but feel the giant weight of the Arch Demon lift from her shoulders. She could finally be a 17 year old girl. This was the happiest she had ever felt. Surrounded by the people she loved. And being able to celebrate with all of Ferelden. Tomorrow, tomorrow she would turn back into Elena Amell, Mage and hero of Ferelden, back into a pumpkin. But not tonight! Tonight was her night. She was plain Elena, seventeen year old girl. She started towards the stop that had just occupied Gregior; next to his place was Cullen. She walked up to him, hands open in invitation. He looked at her hands, then at her face, and answered with a shake of the head.
"Oh come now Cullen, there will be plenty of time for sulking! Tonight is no such night! Tonight, I am queen and I command you to dance!" She followed up with one of her most winning smiles and then burst out laughing. He looked at her again, then smiled and placed his hands in hers. It was no use, her good mood was infectious.
"I promise tomorrow the world will be put back up right. I will once again be a Mage, and you a Templar. We can go back to cats and mice then. But for tonight, it's upside down, and I am Elena and you are Cullen. And the king is Alistair. Am I right your highness?"
"You are quite right Ellie." Her answer was yelled back from the other side of the fire. Cullen allowed himself to be lead to the dance floor where they started to spin. Faster and faster. He thought with the pull of gravity their hands would let go, but they didn't. Finally the force just pushed her into him and they both landed, laughingly, into Gregior and Wynn.
Alistair had been watching Elena and Cullen dance together. Her smile lighting up her face, and Cullen looking at her like she was the most beautiful being in the world. He had never felt such a strong emotion before. She is mine. But she really wasn't. Hadn't he just let her go for the sake of his realm just before the final battle? He had no claim to her. But that couldn't stop him from his feelings of anger and jealousy. He couldn't stand it. He was never going to let her go. He couldn't. He didn't have the strength to.
Someone grabbed Ellie's arm and pulled her upright, then gave their hand to Cullen. Alistair paused a moment, without looking a Cullen he asked if he could barrow Elena for a while. Cullen nodded what more could he do? Cullen watched them go, wishing that he had had the courage to say no.
"Ellie, come be with me." Alistair whispered into Elena's ear.
"You know we can't Alistair. It's not right. We will get caught."
"No one will come disturb me in my rooms, come, let tonight be our night. You know, I thought I was going to lose you there for a minute. It made me realize that I don't want to let you go. Maybe we could keep seeing each other. You could stay here as my advisor." He looked down waiting for a response, nervous at what it might be. He never thought he would be the type of person to suggest such a thing, but Maker help him, he couldn't help himself.
This was the first time that they had really talked since the lands meet where he was chosen to be king, and where he had told her that their relationship was at an end. He needed someone with noble blood, someone who could have children. That no matter the fact that he loved her more than life; he needed to do what was right for his people. As much as it had hurt her, she knew he was right. But they both knew eventually they would cave in to their desires. He loved her too much to give her up. It was just a matter of time. Apparently, not that much time. It had barely been a day. But it didn't matter. She loved him.
She looked up at him and smiled. "Lead the way your highness."
She didn't know if it was the ale or the freedom that made her do it, but by the Maker, she couldn't help herself. Tomorrow was still hours away. Plenty of time to forgo the mage and just be Ellie. To enjoy herself.
He led her to the king's bed chamber. It was beautiful and gothic, all gold and glittering. Everywhere seemed to sparkle. They were getting increasingly close to the bed. Alistair grabbed her face between his two hands and looked at her marvelous green eyes. "I love you so much Ellie. More than life itself. I cannot live in a world that you are not part of. I just need to be near you." He looked for a second more, and then leaned in for a kiss. One kiss melted into another. His hands went to her shoulders, then to her back. He started to undo her dress. He spun her around so that her back was to him. One hand wrapped around her stomach, the other still working on the laces of her dress, all the while he was kissing her neck. His hands crept back up to her shoulders where he gently pushed the dress off. It slipped provocatively over her curves of her body, to land in a silk pool at her feet.
He slowly turned her around to face him. "You are so beautiful. I never want to know what a day without you in it feels like." Then he was kissing her again. It was different then when they were at camp. It was hungry, and dangerous. Like he was trying to hold on to her as she disappeared. He leaned her back against the pillows and lay atop her. Nothing had ever felt like this.
That wasn't the only time that night; they were together two other times before Alistair finally fell asleep with Elena in his arms. Before slipping into his dreams he told her that her things were going to be moved tomorrow, in to the room next to his. She smiled to herself. Basking in the afterglow.
Hours later, they lay holding one another in his bed. He was fast asleep. She lay there watching him. Thinking about everything he had said earlier. She could stay there, with him, forever. But she would never truly be with him. He would belong to another. And one day they would slip up and be caught, and then what would they do? What would his wife do? What would happen to Ferelden?
No, she couldn't let that happen. In so many ways, he was still a boy. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. In the end, he would have to choose, and he would choose her. Ferelden would suffer. IT just couldn't be that way. She would have to give up her happiness for the betterment of their world. And it would have to be her doing. There was no way he was going to be the strong one and give her up. She slowly got out of bed, carefully so not to disturb him. She dressed as quietly as she could, and went to the door looking back one final time. Her heart was breaking. "I love you Alistair. Always and forever." With that she slipped through the door and out of his life, for good. After the door was shut, the dreaming boy answered with, "I love you to, my Ellie, always and forever."
Running down the cold stone hallway with no shoes did not slow her down. She was determined to do the right thing, and nothing was going to stop her. She got to her room and started packing in a furry. Stuffing all she could into her bags. Leoben, her faithful Mubari, was at attention, looking at her in a confused way. She answered the look by giving him a choice. "You can stay here if you like boy. I don't know how much fight a war hound will see where I am going."
He looked back at her hurt, and whined as if to emphasize his point. "All right boy, I would miss you too much as well. Are you ready to get going? I doubt we will ever see this place again."
He looked up and barked twice and started for the door. She put the hood of her cloak over her head and walked out, heading for the stables. She settled the white mare that she would ride from one cage to another. The horse was her gift from the people of Fereldon. As she walked the horse to the entry gate of the castle, she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around slowly ready to be rude and abrupt if necessary. She almost fell over from her surprise at who it was. She was not expecting this at all. She had thought she had been so quiet, to avoid good bye and questions.
"Did you really think that you could leave this place without either of us? Really lassie." Ohgren was standing next to Zeveran, who was holding the reins to a horse, all saddled and ready to go.
"I can't hide anything from either of you, can I? I just need to leave this place, where I go, may not interest you. I did not want to assume anything." She said looking down.
"No, you can't hide from us. Did you think you could? An assassin and a warrior strained to watch? It doesn't matter. Our lives are forfeit to you. We will follow you into the heart of the black kingdom and back again if that is where you go. Into the belly of the deep roads to die. We are your men, now and forever. We will not desert you in a time where you need us the most."
A smile touched Elena's face. "Well then, what are we waiting for? Let us leave this place before the sun comes up and stirs people awake." She hopped on her horse, waiting for Zeveran and Ohgren. She looked back at the palace, said I love you one last time and with a heavy sigh she kicked her horse into a gallop. Her two knights and war hound trailing behind her. Leaving, and never returning.