My Own Prison
By Ishiro Hazuki
A court is in session, a verdict is in
no appeal on the docket today
just my own sin
Asuka lay in her pale blue bed. Her face blank, too upset to even release the pain with tears.
Why did they even keep her there to begin with? What was her purpose with NERV.. or with anyone?
...And why did her mother leave her like that?
The walls are cold and pale
the cage made of steel
screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel
Asuka rose quickly from her bed and finally the tears flowed. She felt so alone... like she had no one to talk to; not even about the simplest things. She stomped on the rigid ground, knocking over a picture frame containing a photo of Shinji, Misato and herself. Leaning up against the wall, she knew she had to do something, quickly, before the pain took her over.
Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emation
Asuka ran down the hallways of Misato's home leaving a long trail of tears behind her. She had no idea where she would go, but she would find something better than this. She arrived at the site of a broken down building. Glass shattered around it, walls had been destroyed, and mere beams stood up in their places. Asuka almost felt at home in this abandoned building, for she had been abandoned just like it.
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn
Asuka sat on a bench which lay next to the building. In an odd way, she was almost feeling better. Although the house was tattered and torn, it had stayed up through it all. Maybe Asuka could do the same.
So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
It was only a building though... Asuka was different. Humans have no walls to contain them; humans have no boundaries, except the ones within their souls. The boundary that lay within Asuka's soul was far too tall to climb. Asuka, once again feeling hopefless, climbed to her feet. Her face was pale, and she showed no emotion.
We're all held captive out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel that pain that was given on a sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden and grant me life eternally
Walking toward the window, she saw her reflection in the glass. In front of her was a picture of herself, a beautiful girl, but she saw nothing but hopelessness. She grasped the glass in front of her and pulled. A small piece of the clear glass was in her hands soft. Grasping the glass with two fingers, she held it against her wrist. 'What will happen now?' she asked herself. 'Will it be heaven... or hell?'
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
Asuka didn't care either way... the life she lived was hellish enough, so there would be no difference for her. She pressed down on her wrist with the piece of glass, gashing her arm as hard as she could. The blood soon poured from her pale wrist, leaving shining puddles on the ground beneath her. Her eyes closed as her arm turned limp and she fell to the brittle ground. She was finally with her mother... and could finally rest with ease.
I cry out to god seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison