Hiya! :D
So! To explain this random..uh one shot! I have turned into an owl! You know, sleeping during the day and being awake all day! O_o! So at like 3am (?) I started to listen to "Cell Block Tango" from "Chicago." so I was like "Hmmm... wonder if I can make this a fanfiction!" :D So this is what I came up with! I dunno if it's any good! If you wanna listen to the song while reading, you should! Haha! (:
Disclamer! The characters DO NOT belong to meeee! And the stories don't either! They are from the song "Cell Block Tango"! But I did moderate somethings to make it fit with the characters!
With that being said, enjoy!
"Six!"
"Squish."
"Uh-uh."
"Cicero!"
"Lipschitz!"
Six female voices said from afar.
"What the hell?" I wondered out loud as I walked through the Konoha City Jail for Female Criminals. I just got a job transfer from the jail for male criminals in this city. I look away from my book to check my watch for the time, 12:37 a.m., who would bother to be awake at this time if they're not working! I continue to walk towards the voices that repeated the same words over and over.
"Pop!"
"Six!"
"Squish."
"Uh-uh!"
"Cicero!"
"Lipschitz!"
The closer I get, the louder the women sound. I can now see lights at the end of a hallway, some prisoners must be awake.
"POP!"
"SIX!"
"SQUISH!"
"UH-UH!"
"CICERO."
"LIPSCHITZ."
"Hey!" I interrupted, "Go to bed,women. It's 12 am."
"Oh. A male guard in the night shift. That's never happened before." one of them said.
"You're right. They must have an exchange program or somethin'." another added.
"Well isn't someone mysterious? A mask covering most of his face and one of his eyes is also covered." another said.
"Just keep it down." I deadpanned and walked towards a chair next to the cell with the six women in it and I sat down and pulled out my book again.
"Alright."
A moment of silence passed and I continued to read my porn book in silence, that is until the first woman spoke again and the others followed.
"Pop."
"Six."
"Squish."
"Uh-uh."
"Cicero."
"Lipschitz."
"Why do you keep repeating that?" I asked as I lowered my book to look at the women in the cell wiht my uncovered eye.
"The reasons why we're here." one said and smirked.
"Mhm." I mumbled and went back to my book. "Wait for it." I thought.
...
"Pop."
"Alright,alright. Let's hear it." I said as I closed my book and got comfortable in the chair, crossing my arms over my chest.
"So the officer wants to know." a young woman with long bleach blond hair said.
"Indeed." another young woman with short pink hair said.
"Then share your crime." an older woman with long blond hair that was in ponytails said.
A woman who was dressed in black and red stripped jumpsuit with the numbers 00651 printed on her left shoulder stood. She has blonde hair that is tied up in four pony tails that stick up in the back. Her name, Temari, was printed over her left breast on her jumpsuit.
"You know how certain people have these little habits that get you down? Like Shikamaru. Shikamaru liked to chew gum. No, not chew, pop! I came home this one day, I am really irritated, looking for a little sympathy. And there's Shikamaru layin' on the couch, drikin' a beer and chewin'-no,not chewin',poppin'! So I said to him, 'Shika, you pop that gum one more time...'."
Temari sighed and looked up. I raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"He did. So I took the shotgun off the wall andfired two warning shots...head!" she finished.
My eyes widened a fraction. "What! Because he popped his gum!"
"He had it comin'!" Temari exclaimed and the other women agreed.
Temari sat down on one of the beds and a young woman with brown hair that was tied up in two buns stood up. Her jumpsuit had white and red stripes with the numbers 00652 printed on her left shoulder. Her name,TenTen, in the same place as Temari's.
"I met Neji Hyuga at Sunagakure about two years ago, he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix him a drink, we'd have dinner. Then I found out. Single,he told me! Single,my ass! Not only was he married, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night when he came home, I fixed him his drink, as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!" TenTen concluded.
"He also had it comin'!" Temari exclaimed.
"That's murder." I said.
"It was a murder, but not a crime!" the pink haired young woman yelled.
The older looking woman who is sitting in a chair in the middle of the cell snapped her fingers and all the women, and me, turned to look at her. Her jumpsuit has green and dark blue stripes, her number is 00653 and her name is Tsunade.
"Now, I was standing in the kitchen. Carvin' up the chicken for dinner, mindin' my own business and in storms my husband, Jiraiya in a jealous rage! 'You've been screwin' the milkman!', he says. And he kept sayin' 'You've been screwin' the milkman!'. Then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!" Tsunade said with a bored expression.
I couldn't help but say: "That's insane."
"If you'd have been there,if you'd have seen it,I betcha you would have done the same." Tsunade told me with a smirk.
From the corner of my eye I saw one of the women sitting on the cell floor,right behind the bars raising her hand. She had long dark blue hair and pale skin. Her jumpsuit has lavender and dark blue stripes and her name is Hinata, I can't see her prisoner number from this point of view.
Everyone turned towards her, I guess it's her turn?
"W-what am I doing here?" her voice is soft, almost angel like."They say my famous lover held down my husband,N-Naruto,while I chopped off his h-head. B-but it isn't true! I am innocent! I don't know why my uncle Hizashi says I did it. I tried to eplain it at the police station but they didn't understand me." Hinata almost cried.
"But did you do it?" TenTen asked.
"Uh-uh, not guilty!" Hinata shook her head as the tears started to fall from her eyes.
"My sister,Karin and I had this double act," the woman with short pink hair started. Her jumpsuit has red,beige,and black stripes. Her number is 00655 and her name is Sakura."And my husband, Sasuke traveled around with us. The last number in our act, we did twenty acrobatic tricks. One,two,three,four,five,splits,spread eagles,flip flops,back flips,one right after the other. Well, this one night we were in Cicero. The three of us, we were in this hotel room boozin', havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice. So I went out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Karin and Sasuke doing number seventeen, the spread eagle!" Sakura stopped.
The other women gasped in unison.
"Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later,I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!" Sakura said and her expression turned colder.
"They BOTH had it comin'!" Temari exclaimed.
"Hell yeah they did!" TenTen agreed.
"How could you do that!" I asked,a bit horrified.
"I didn't do it! But if I'd done it, how could you tell me if I was wrong!" Sakura yelled at me from her place in the cell.
"My turn!" the last woman said.
She has long blond hair that is tied up in a pony tail. Her jumpsuit has purple and black stripes and her number is 00656, her name is Ino.
"I loved Sai Lipschitz,he was a real artistic guy,sensitive,a painter. But he was always trying to find himself, he would go out every night looking for himself. And on the way he found Suki,Haruko,Aiko and Hayate! I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences...he saw himself alive, I saw him dead!" Ino finished and giggled.
"God." I said and covered my face with my hand.
The women laughed.
"What's wrong officer Hatake? Can't stand being with the six murderesses of Konoha?" Tsunade laughed.
"Hatake!" I heard my name being called from the other end of the hallway.
I turned my face to the voice and saw my old friend, Kurenai.
"Hey." I greeted her as she got closer.
"Hi. Your shift is over. Go home." she told me.
"Alright." I stood from the chair I'd been sitting for who-knows-how-long and looked back at the women in the cell, they waved at me with smiles on their faces.
I turned back to Kurenai who eyed me weirdly.
"Good luck." I told her and started walking away, I heard the chair being moved. I assume Kurenai just took my place. Before completely walking away from the hall I heard them again.
"Pop."
"Six."
"Squish."
"Uh-uh."
"Cicero."
"Lipschitz."
"They all had it comin', I tell ya!" Temari yelled again.