Cindy sat on the bed hugging her knees, watching a video of Catherine perform the Swan Lake ballet. She had vague memories of her five year old self in the audience with Christopher, Jory and Bart. Their town theatre had organized the production and Catherine had been very excited to be a part of it.
The video had turned up in a box of Christopher's possessions at Jory's house.
She had wanted to fly back to New York right after the funeral. It was Toni who had urged her to stay on with them a little longer. The house was big enough for Cindy to keep to herself without running into anyone else. And at least there would be comfort in the knowledge that Jory, the kids and Toni were around. It would be reassuring for them too.
She'd been reluctant at first but now she was glad she'd stayed on. Christopher's death had been devastating; but Catherine's loss had hollowed her out.
Jory had a lot of stuff - videos, photo albums, diaries - that belonged to Cathy and Chris. Those tokens of memories now sustained her. The initial numbness had been replaced by overwhelming sadness. Even as she cried her eyes raw, she was glad that she was feeling something.
On the screen, Catherine was a graceful blur. Cindy hugged herself tighter and let out a small whimper.
There was a knock on the door. She ignored it. A couple of minutes again, there was another knock. Before she could respond, the door swung open.
"Cindy"
It was Bart.
They had avoided each other all through the funeral. He'd left soon after. She hadn't asked about him.
Her heart tightened now.
Bart walked up to the bed and sat down on the edge. His eyes were red and his face looked gaunt.
"Cindy, I'm sorry...I've startled you."
He paused. She was silent.
"No one knew I was coming. I didn't plan it myself. I….I didn't really want to see anyone but I didn't know where else to go…", his voice wavered. She saw his shoulders stoop and straighten again.
He then turned towards the TV where the video was playing. They both watched it mutely.
"Did you see Jory?"
He turned his head at the sound of her voice and nodded.
"Yes. I didn't know if I should see you or not but I...I came anyway. I'm sorry."
She shook her head at that, her throat tight. The tears were flowing again.
When she'd left for New York , she'd vowed to have nothing to do with him. She knew that what she felt for Bart was nothing as simple as hatred. Weaving through her web of feelings for him, was a thin thread of helpless longing.
With Jory, Catherine and Christopher, she had never questioned their foundation as a family. They were her family. Closer than flesh and blood.
Bart was different. Even in her most defiant, humiliating moments with Bart, she'd felt for him an unspeakable yearning that scared her.
Bart reached put his hand on top of hers.
"Cindy, do you want me to leave?"
She shook her head.
He moved closer till he was embracing her. They were both crying.
His hands were on her back and in her hair. She didn't know who kissed whom first and it didn't matter.
On the video, the ballet was over. Catherine, flanked by Jory and a sullen looking Bart, was holding little Cindy in her arms, smiling radiantly at Christopher behind the camera.