Disclaimer: All I own are my villainesses. That's it. Nothing more.

"Why are we having a garage sale again?" Shego sat behind a long table with a cash box and a list of items in front of her with their prices.

"Shego, our lair is filling up. We need to make room for more important inventions." Drakken said, dressed down in a Hawaiian patterned shirt and khaki Capri's. This was taking casual Fridays even farther.

"Running low on cash?" She asked. He glared at her over his shoulder.

"Shego, we don't discuss finances in public." Shego responded by rolling her eyes.

She looked around. It was mostly normal civilians, rich ones she supposed to get to the island lair, despite the signs and ads saying "Evil Lair Sale". But she did recognize a few villains; Senor Senior Sr. was browsing alone. Good, she didn't want to see spoiled, sissy Junior anyway.

"Shego, that lemonade isn't going to refill itself." Shego growled. All the villains scooted a few inches away.

Underneath the table her hands curled into fists of green flames. Say it again, I dare you, she thought. Then she saw a yacht pull up and thought otherwise.

All she needed was another pain in her… She dropped the pitcher and it shattered. Drakken could clean it up. She pulled out a new pitcher and grabbed a can out of the freezer. Some days she wished she didn't have to put up with the world. Wished she could just scream and throw a fit. She shook the thoughts away. Why was it whenever Tigress showed up so did a moment of weakness?

She grabbed orange juice, not lemonade. She ditched the can and looked through the freezer and refrigerator. No more lemonade. She could pass Kool-Aid off as raspberry lemonade. Did they even have Kool-Aid or did Drakken eat all the powder again? There it was, top shelf at the back. Right with his chocolate stash. Like she'd never find it there… She got the Kool-Aid and a Hershey's bar.

Drakken acted like he was four sometimes. She walked out just as Tigress was going back to her yacht with the Juvinator under one arm. Shego rushed back to where Drakken was counting his money.

"Drakken, what did you just do?"

"Make two thousand bucks in one sale. Man, I could do this for a living."

"Drakken! That's Tigress, the number one villain you do NOT sell to! Did you not look at the list I made you of people not to sell to?"

"I threw it away."

"YOU THREW IT AWAY?!"

"I considered that list very prejudiced against villains. Especially Cousin Eddie."

"I put him on there as a joke, but the rest…"

"Why are you freaking out?" Shego took a deep breath. How could she explain to an imbecile how some villains should not be given such tools?

She threw her hands up in the air.

"I'm not, I'm letting go." She said. He didn't get the joke.

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Tigress walked tiredly back into her den/lair, dragging her tail behind her. Today had not been productive. Her connection in the Black Market had proved to be a secret agent for GJ. There were no good plans to steal from other villains. Shego hadn't even shown her face during her blue bosses' lair sale (why didn't he just say "garage sale").

She dropped onto her floor pillow and looked over the invention she had bought. It looked like a toy for babies. Hence its purpose, to turn adults into children. She'd find a use for it, she guessed, maybe as the elixir of youth or something.

She flipped open her laptop and went to The ratings for Villainess of the Year should be up by now. Not that she needed to look; she knew she was best of the bad. But just to make sure. Sure enough it was up. She'd look at the runner-ups first.

Nightfire deserved third; she was pretty evil. Second place was… Tigress stiffened. An angry growl only a cat could give echoed in the lair. Her fur stood on end. Miscalculation, she was sure of it. It had to be. Yet there she was, in second place. Who could have possibly beat her?

Tigress yowled. She wasn't even a villain! She was a hench girl! She had been a SUPERHERO!

"SSSSSHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEGGGGGOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She roared, smashing everything in sight.

Revenge, ooohhh she was waaaay past that. The shrimpy hero from her high school had taken the running title she had kept for 7 years as top villainess! She wanted blood.

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