Emil knew he was sick. He knew since he could remember his own name. He was born too early and was weak from the start. He was small, only 1 1/2 pounds at birth, and was shorter than most kids his age. He almost died after being born. He was kept in an incubator for the first year of his life. Even after that he was weak. He got sick all the time and missed a lot of school.
Then when he was a toddler his kidneys became really sick. A complication from his chronic kidney issues from being born too early and shitty immune system. He was placed in a waiting list for a transplant and started dialysis at age 7. After that he spent even more time out of school and by the time he was 10 he was pulled out of public school completely to be home schooled.
All he ever wanted was to be like his older brother Lukas. Lukas went to school everyday, he called it hell but to Emil it was probably the best place on earth. Lukas wasn't the most social but he had friends. They had sleepovers in the basement and were always nerding over the newest Harry Potter book or whatnot. Emil could hear them laughing and talking on Friday nights. Emil yearned to have friends like that. Lukas was his friend but Lukas was too protective of him and, not to mention his brother. This was just normal after a few years Emil got used to being alone. Lukas' friends weren't too bad, Arthur was rude but he shared Lukas' sense of humor. And he had his nice times.
Vlad was nice to Emil and brought sweets once or twice but his niceness was more of 'Aww you're sooo cute~! I'm friends with you're big brother so I'll be nice to you.' Emil decided to not mess with his brother's friends and took up drawing, reading, writing and other things he could do to occupy himself.
That was almost 7 years ago though. Now Emil was 16. His condition worsened to the point where his family and doctors thought it was best to have him in nursing, seeing the fact that he needed treatments 4 times a week, was almost always weak and tired, and collapsed if he got sick or was over tired. He didn't see much change really. Not like he had classmates or friends to lose. Lukas visited for hours almost everyday to keep him company, play with him, read him stories. (Much to Emil's protest.)
Emil had most of the days to himself, Lukas had school, His parents had jobs, And he didn't have any friends. That was until one day...
Emil was in his room drawing a picture. He had become a very skilled an detailed artist from all his practice, he what else could he do?
Then he heard something like nurses outside his door. They were running? and then he saw it a flash of blonde hair and a hospital gown flying by on a wheelchair. He got up and held onto the bed rail for support moving to the walker. Then he grabbed his IV and walked out just to see the blonde nearly ram into him. Emil moved out of the way and the blonde stopped the wheelchair. The blonde had unkept hair and bright blue eyes. The boy smiled. Emil looked at him bewildered. 'Who is he?!'
The boy looked Emil over before holding out his hand. "Hi! I'm Mathias! Nice to meet you!"
Emil stared at Mathias, then the hand. 'Why is he talking so loud? He speaks so oddly, he has an accent but there's something more.'
"Hi I'm Emil." Emil shook the hand.
Mathias frowned a bit. "I'm really, really sorry. Uh Could you maybe speak louder? I can't hear you. Wait do you have any paper?" It finally clicked. 'Wait, Can he not hear?.' Emil nodded and went back in his room for a blank paper and pencil and a book to write on.
Mathias smiled. "Thanks!" Emil grabbed the paper and scribbled down what he wanted to say to the boy. ["You're welcome."]
Mathias scribbled down on the paper. ["Can you write down your name? I heard some of it but it was muffled."] Emil nodded and wrote on the paper.
["I'm Emil, I'm 16. How old are you Mathias?"] Mathias smiled and took the pencil. ["I'm 18. What's wrong with you? I'm here because I had this illness. It's called Meningitis. It was really bad though I got really, really sick and I couldn't walk or move my head and I couldn't be in the light, it hurt too bad. Then I came here. I woke up like, 3 weeks later hooked up to these machines and I still couldn't move, Still felt like crap, And I could barely hear."]
Emil had a sympathetic feeling in his heart. [" I'm here well, first I was born way too early and because of that I have really bad kidneys... I have renal failure I've been on dialysis since I was about 7 and in the hospital since I was 15."] Mathias looked at Emil sadly. ["So you've been sick your whole life?'] Emil shrugged and scribbled. ["Pretty much."] ["That must be awful I got sick with this when I was almost 16. I was perfect before that. Friends, Sleepovers, I could run and bike. I love music, well loved..."]
Emil wanted to hug Mathias at that moment. Though Emil never had friends or sleepovers or could run or bike. He never knew how hard it was to have those things and have them taken from someone like that.
"I'm so sorry Mathias... That sounds awful." Mathias looked at Emil confused before Emil moved his walking aid to bend down and hug him.
Mathias smiled weakly and rubbed circles on Emil's back. "It's not too bad, you don't have to be sorry I'm used to everything." Emil held on anyway. Mathias held on too they stayed holding each other in the corridor of the hospital. Emil soon stood up, slowly. He then took the paper and wrote on it. ["If it means anything I know what it's like to be lonely... Could we be friends?"]
Mathias moved his upper body up straight and smiled. "O-Of course!" Emil had yet to get used to Mathias' loud voice and slight slurred accent. But it was cute too.
The nurse started walking down the hall towards them. Mathias looked at her and started to move and get back to his room, quickly. He waved Emil a hasty goodbye. Emil waved back as the nurse passed him. He could just hear her quiet muttering. "That boy can be such a handful at times..."
Emil woke up the next morning. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was five minutes after 6. He stretched carefully to not pull his IV out of his arm. He'd done it before and it hurt. He decided to read a new book Lukas gave him until a nurse would come in and ask him what he wanted for breakfast. When the nurse came she asked Emil what he wanted to eat and he asked for the usual. Some toast and some eggs and water. Though he would prefer orange juice It didn't go well with his medication. He learned his lesson from almost passing out vomiting the last time. And being sick for a good day and a half. It was not pretty.
The the nurse then asked a surprising question: "Also Mathias, The blonde 2 doors down, asked if you would like to enjoy breakfast with him."
Emil perked up. "Of course I'd love to!" The nurse smiled. "Okay, I'll go tell him."
Emil grabbed his art supplies and a lot of paper. He didn't know sign language so he'd need it to talk to Mathias without yelling.
He went to Mathias' room where Mathias' was sitting at a small table. It was nicely decorated. He had a nice window view and a few posters on his walls. He also had a nice table cloth over the small table.
Emil pulled up a chair while Mathias had his wheelchair up to the table.
Mathias waved excitedly. "You came!" Emil nodded. This was his first real friend that he had to himself that wasn't related to him. He wouldn't have missed this for the world.
Emil pulled out the things he brought: 2 pencils, 2 pens, some expensive colored markers, a package of colored pencils, 2 rubbers, and a blank sketchbook. He handed Mathias a pencil to start with. Emil then wrote on the first page of the blank book. [" I brought the paper for communicating and I brought the rest for drawing but I didn't know if you liked drawing. If you don't we can stick to this."]
Mathias smiled. ["It's fine I love drawing it's part of how I'm good with my hands now. They were harder to move after I got sick. But I got my upper body stronger eventually and things like drawing were really good for strengthening the ability to work carefully."]
Emil smiled. ["If you like we can draw."] Mathias nodded and wrote. ["That sounds cool. But can we talk, well write, first?"] Emil nodded. ["That sounds great. Although I can only stay until 10. I have to get dialysis. It takes forever but I don't feel like dying today."]
Mathias nodded. "I understand." Emil smiled a bit. ["But he have a few hours we can do what ever we want, well there are so many options in a hospital of sick and sleeping people."] Mathias smiled too. ["Yeah, I don't feel like getting yelled at. I mean it's not like I know what they're really saying. It's all muffled."]
After eating Emil decided to draw a portrait for Mathias. Mathias drew a cat and a dog. Mathias told Emil that they were his own and that their names were Anja and Fluffy. The dog was a female, medium sized, Elk Hound. Her name was Anja. And the cat was a large, male, Forest Cat named Fluffy. (Have you seen a Forest Cat they're fluffy as hell!)
Emil gave Mathias his portrait after an hour of sketching, erasing, outlining, more erasing, and coloring. Mathias loved it. They spent the rest of their time communicating and sharing jokes and stories. Emil felt almost for the first time as though he had a real friend he could bond with.
Emil picked up his stuff and put it in his fairly large tote bag. Before going he scribbled down on a paper. ["I had a really nice time with you. This is way more fun than I thought! I have to go. But if you want you can come. It's boring as hell and takes a good few hours of sitting still."]
Mathias smiled and grabbed the pencil. ["Ok I'll do it! It seems pretty boring without company. And besides the nurses keep saying I could use a few hours of staying still. "] Emil giggled. Considering how they met Emil already agreed. Mathias was and always will be lively and Emil had no doubt that after Mathias figured out everything he'll live as though he only was down for a day.
Mathias was read a book holding it with one hand and Emil's hand in the other. Emil wasn't used to having anyone with him but felt as though he'd known only Mathias' warm grasp around his fingers his whole life. Emil hated just laying there for 4 hours no matter how many times he'd done it in his life. He felt much calmer and warm with his new friend next to him.
Mathias interrupted the silence, well noise of the machines and stuff. "This isn't that boring really... I kinda like holding your hand but I'm not the one with needles and shit in my arm." Emil nodded and squeezed Mathias' hand tighter. Mathias understood and held Emil's hand with both hands smiling sweetly. Emil smiled back. He felt as though time stopped. He'd never felt like that before. He felt as though it was just the 2 of them until a doctor walked in and told Emil he and Mathias were free to carry on their day.
Emil spent the rest of the day with Mathias in his room. Emil showed Mathias some of the books Lukas brought and lent out a copy of 'The Little Mermaid' to Mathias. Emil had read the book 100's of times like most of the other books he had. Mathias was overjoyed he'd loved the book since he was a child and didn't have a copy with him.
Mathias explained to Emil that he was born in Denmark and that he had an accent before getting sick but his accent was slightly slurred now. Emil didn't let Mathias know but he personally thought it made the original accent sound even more adorable.
Then Lukas came in for his visit like he did roughly every other day. He had a book in his arms and a small plate of cookies. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Emil and another kid giggling over a piece of paper.
"Hey little brother." Emil turned and looked at Lukas. "Hi. Uh Lukas this is my friend, Mathias."
Lukas blinked and looked at the boy. "Hey I know you, You're the wholigan who nearly ran me over and didn't stop when I asked you to slow down!" Mathias smiled and waved. "Emil what's wrong with him is he deaf? I called him a wholigan and he's smiling like an idiot!" Emil smacked Lukas lightly. "You're the idiot he IS deaf!"
Lukas looked slightly taken aback. "Oh. That's why you were laughing over a piece of paper isn't it?" Emil mentally face-palmed. "Yes it is. Please don't be rude or make dirty looks he's really nice and he's good at reading faces."
Lukas rolled his eyes. "Like I give THAT much away to begin with." Emil giggled a bit, then gave Lukas a serious look. "Fine but no eye rolls those count as making a dirty look."
Mathias moved over to them. "Uh you guys know I'm here right?" Emil turned and nodded to Mathias before going back to the table with him. Lukas chuckled. "You have a friend Emil... Does that mean you don't need your big brother anymore?~" Emil rolled his eyes. "You're still my brother in all your annoying glory."
Lukas smirked. "Thanks it's all in a day's work." Emil rolled his eyes again. Lukas kissed Emil's cheek. "Mom and Dad say 'Hi' and Mom made you some cookies." Lukas handed Emil the cookies. They were cold but still smelled like home. Emil took in a large gulp of the sweet scent. He felt as though he was a child again. With his parents and Lukas and their Icelandic Spitz named Cass. "Thanks. Tell mom and Dad I love them. " Emil gave Lukas a long hug. "I will and Mom's taking a day off from her job next week and she said we could go somewhere."
Emil lit up. Ever since he started staying in the hospital both his parents had taken the time they had to take up good paying jobs. His mom worked full time as a history teacher at a nearby college. She already had the schooling for it before Emil was born. And she had spent years teaching Emil from home and she was a very good teacher. His dad worked Part time as a pediatric nurse on week days and on the weekends he worked as a real estate agent. They had to take good paying jobs to afford Emil's medical bills and Lukas' looming need to purchase an apartment after he graduates.
Lukas left the room and Emil offered Mathias a couple of the cookies (there were about 10 on the plate). Mathias gladly accepted the offer. Emil then learned that the Dane had a love for sweets. Emil thought it was adorable.
Emil woke up and could feel the sun on his face. The curtains were spread wide and the walls reflected the light. Emil blinked and his heart skipped a beat. Today he was gonna go out with his family and enjoy the warmth. He asked his parents and Mathias' doctor if he could tag along too. They all said it was ok. Emil hadn't felt this excited in, forever. He combed his hair and put on his favorite tee. Usually he'd be self-conscious of the scars on his arms from all the tubes in shit that'd been in his arms but today was different he was gonna have fun and enjoy the sunshine no matter what happened or who looked.
Emil hugged his dad and kissed his mom on the cheek. Then he introduced the to Mathias. He already had told them he was deaf and paralyzed. His dad shook Mathias' hand and his mom gave him a soft hug.
Lukas looked at the Dane and said nothing. Emil had his bag with money a note pad and pens. He pulled out a piece of the paper and asked his dad and mom to write how they would like Mathias to address them.
["Hello! I'm Emil's dad but you can call me Sigurd or "] Mathias read over the paper that Mr. Steilsson handed him. He smiled and waved the man's hand again. "Pleasure too meet you Sir." Mathias spoke mostly clearly. Emil's mom handed another piece of paper to Mathias. ["Hello, I'm Emil's mom but you can call me Mrs. Steilsson."] Mathias shook her hand and nodded. "I'm Mathias Kohler."
87Mrs. Steilsson turned to Emil. "Wait what caused him to lose his hearing and become paralyzed?"
Emil looked up. "Meningitis. It was really bad." His mom had a sympathetic look. "Oh. I'm sorry. That must've been really hard. How long has he been deaf?"
Emil tried to think back to his first conversation after he met Mathias. "About 2 years. He's 18."
His mom nodded. "Well you'll be 17 next June. so that's not too far a stretch." Emil smiled lightly. Then he heard Lukas' voice.
"Are we gonna go yet?" Mrs. Steilsson nodded and picked up her purse. Emil grabbed his bag and they checked out for a few hours. Emil couldn't have been more ecstatic. He was gonna have fun. He was gonna enjoy a walk ing the sunshine with his family, like a normal teenager. He was gonna have fun with his friend almost like normal. But the more he thought about it the less it pleased him.
He was overjoyed to have fun, but he wasn't as happy to be normal. If he was normal he would have lots of friends and a great life and days like today would be much, much more common, yes.
But he wouldn't have met Mathias if he were normal and completely healthy and through everything he couldn't be happy in a world like that.
He really enjoyed Mathias' company and couldn't see a world with him happy unless he had Mathias next to him.
He never felt like that about anyone else, but he never had a friend like Mathias before either. He looked over at Mathias. Emil smiled to himself. He didn't know what he felt then but he liked it. He felt warm and happy and his heart sped up a bit. He knew that he would choose living in a hospital with renal failure but being with Mathias, over being a normal teenager.
Emil sat between Lukas and Mathias he was playing a small game of tic-tac-toe with Mathias and talking to Lukas about something funny that had happened at Lukas' school earlier that week. Emil had just one his 3rd game against Mathias when the car stopped. Emil and Mathias looked up from their game.
"We're here." Mr. Steilsson twisted to face the 3 boys in the backseat when he announced this. Emil smiled. Mathias looked around and grinned. His freckled cheeks glowing with excitement. Emil couldn't help but blush slightly.
They all got out of the car (it took a while considering that Mathias couldn't stand up for more than a minute at best.) And walked along the board walk at the beach.
They weren't swimming. Even though the crystal clear seawater sparkled in the sun so alluringly, Emil only looked but he saw Mathias have a glint of something sparkle in his similarly clear, blue eyes.
Mathias sighed. It was fairly loud and Emil noticed it and turned his head. Mathias looked at him and smiled softly. "I love the ocean. Maybe if I get stronger I'll be able to jump in and let the cool sea keep me afloat. I'll just swim and dive in and feel every trouble melt away..." Emil nodded. He understood what Mathias meant.
Emil stopped at a store bought a couple of books and a small bracelet. It was pretty and had a small puffin charm. He loved puffins. Then he and Mathias and Lukas split from Mr. and Mrs. Steilsson to go to the icecream shop while Mr. and Mrs. Steilsson walked along the shore.
They were reluctant at first but Lukas promised to watch over Emil and Mathias. Not that they didn't trust Emil. But Emil could get tired very fast and easily. Lukas promised to call them if anything happened.
After some mild persuasion Mrs. Steilsson told them to enjoy themselves and get the icecream but they had to meet within an hour or they would come looking.
Emil sat down at the small blue table out on the patio of the small shop. There was only enough room for him, Lukas, and Mathias. He pulled out his pen and paper and wrote something down on it. ["Hey Mathias what're you ordering?"] He passed the paper to Mathias who was sitting next to him as well as the pen.
Mathias wrote down his order fast after reading the menu posted on the wall above the store's order window. ["A large chocolate icecream cone with sprinkles."]
Emil giggled and wrote his order after.
["I just want some vanilla chocolate swirl in a small cup. I'm not that hungry."] Mathias looked at Emil and cocked his head in confusion. ["But you only have eaten once today and that was breakfast almost 6 hours ago."]
Emil shrugged. He just wasn't hungry today. He laid back in his chair. To be honest he hadn't felt that well that day. He barely even ate his breakfast that morning. He was looking paler than usual and something didn't look right. He brushed it off as nothing. He was always pale and did he even eat that much to begin with.
But as he laid back he had a sharp twinge of pain in his back under his ribs.
'It's probably nothing. It can't be anything right? No, not today.' Emil once again brushed it off with that thought. Lukas came over and asked for their orders. Emil looked up. "Uh, Lukas it's fine I can order my own food."
Lukas blinked. "Okay. If you say so." Lukas walked towards the counter. Emil stood up to follow him. The pain came back the second Emil stood. "It's probably a backache from being in the car so long and walking..." Emil muttered to himself to comfort the growing unease within him.
Lukas turned around. "Little brother? What did you say?" Emil turned at looked at Lukas before walking over to join him at the counter. "Nothing I stubbed my toe."
Lukas turned around to order his icecream.
The preppy girl taking his order had bob style ginger hair kept out of her face in a green head band that had a bow in the back. She had freckles and looked as though she was born in sunshine. She sounded Belgian from what Emil could hear.
"Hello! What would you like to order?" Lukas paused for a moment to read the menu. "Hmm... I'll have coffee icecream." The girl wrote down on her notepad. "Yes. Would you like it in a cup, an edible cup or a waffle cone?"
Lukas thought for a split second. "A cup. A regular cup not edible." The girl wrote the last bit of his order down. "Is that all you'd like sir?" Lukas shook his head. "No thank you."
The girl rung up his order on her cash register. "Ok. That'll be €3.50!" Lukas pulled out his wallet to pay for his order. "Here." He handed the girl his payment.
"Thank you sir! Come again." She smiled and handed him his icecream. Lukas nodded and walked over to their table to place his treat on the table and sit down.
Emil stepped up to the counter. "Here, I'm ordering for two." Emil handed the girl his and Mathias' orders. They chatted a bit as she rung him up. After paying for the orders Emil took the icecreams and sat at the table with Lukas and Mathias. He felt the pain again but pretended he didn't notice it and watched Mathias lick at his icecream before starting on his own.
The table was silent except for the faint sound of lapping but that was it. The silence was broken when Lukas stood up. "I need to use the bathroom. Emil watch my icecream, I'll be right back."
Emil nodded as Lukas walked off toward the back of the small shop where the restrooms were located. Mathias was still lapping at his icecream. Emil let his mind wander. He stared up at the sky beginning to darken from a crystal blue to a darker and darker shade of gray. He felt the pain again it was getting worse.
Emil decided to stretch a bit even though with every moment his eyes started to droop more and more.
Emil stood up. He felt as though he was being weighed down. Part of him kept saying to sit down and wait for Lukas to tell him he was tired. But then Emil thought about all that'd happened he couldn't risk ruining what was left of the day. So he kept walking along the small part of the board walk in front of the shop. He was going to get back to his spot before Lukas came back from the bathroom.
Emil turned around. He regretted it instantly. He felt faint suddenly and as though he were sleep walking. He must've turned too quickly.
He started to slowly make his way to the table. But he could barely make out his surroundings. His vision went from clear to dazed and then to blurry before he could register what the hell was going on.
Then before he knew it he was swaying and then hit the ground with a thud. He didn't even realize what had happened. The only thing he knew of was that something was wrong and that he was on the cold hard ground. He didn't really feel anything though. He felt as though he should've felt something. If anything, scared for his life but he couldn't. He was tired though.
Very, very, tired.
He heard a scream. He didn't know who screamed. He heard something coming closer then Mathias was peering down and crying out frantically. Emil definitely felt something at this point.
He then heard footsteps running towards him but he didn't know the source. He stared at the dark sky. Something cold and wet hit his cheek. Rain. He felt his eyes droop and his vision grow blurry. He saw Mathias. The blue eyes that had been glimmering with excitement now brimmed with fear and tears.
He wanted to get up and hold Mathias and stop the tears from falling but he couldn't find the strength to move.
He just stared into those soft teary eyes. He couldn't even feel his own tears streaming down his face. He stared at those eyes for what felt like forever. Then everything blurred to a black and he felt as though he was dumped in water.
Lukas came out of the bathroom and the thing he saw felt like something he would only see in a nightmare.
He saw Mathias bent over a motionless figure. He heard him crying out for whoever could help. Lukas had a grim idea of who the motionless figure was. The idea chilled his bones like ice. He ran over and found just what he suspected. He saw Emil laying on the ground, still breathing, but unconscious. Mathias was trying to wake him up. Mathias was sobbing from fear and worry.
Lukas moved the boy out of the way and was on his knees trying to rub Emil awake. He pulled out his phone and called the paramedics. Then he dialed for his and Emil's parents. Within minutes Their parents were there as well as a few patrons and staff members from the ice cream shop. The girl who had taken their orders was one of them.
The paramedics then got to the scene. One of them, A young blonde woman with short hair and a sweet voice was trying to keep Mathias calm, who was trying to reach Emil and was utterly terrified for his friend. The other medical staff were getting Emil into the ambulance. Lukas wanted to cut through the crowd and be with his brother, but he stayed with his parents.
Mrs. Stielsson was crying and Mr. Steilsson was watching with tears pricking his eyes. The medical staff allowed their parents to ride to the hospital with Emil. Lukas had his license and had permission to drive the car to get there.
Lukas wasn't near prepared for this. He knew something could happen like this If Emil didn't get a kidney transplant but Lukas was tested and didn't come up as a match. Neither was . His mother couldn't even be tested because she had had cancer as a teenager.
Lukas tried to comfort Mathias on the way to the hospital. He didn't know what to do though. He didn't know anything like sign language and he couldn't write or text while driving. He felt bad. Mathias was terrified. He didn't know what happened and couldn't hear anything happening or what was told to him. Lukas would've tried to tell him Emil would be fine.
But he couldn't write anything down at the time and even if he could, he wouldn't know if Emil was really going to be fine.
Lukas helped Mathias out of the car and Mathias took off for the door to the emergency room. Lukas ran after. Not bothering to stop Mathias, After all they were both in the cross walk and Lukas had learned his lesson after nearly being trampled by the boy. 'Who thought it would be a good idea to give him a wheelchair?'
Lukas had his sweatshirt hood pulled over his head. It was full on pouring now. Mathias was already in the hospital at the front desk for directions. The lady wrote down how to get to the room and Mathias took off. Lukas followed in hot pursuit. They reached the room 24b where everyone else was.
Lukas found Emil still unconscious and hooked up to all sorts of machines Lukas didn't know the names of. Mrs. Steilsson was sitting next to her son's bed stroking his soft silver hair. Lukas stood next to her while his father paced outside the room waiting for a doctor to come back in.
Mathias was on the other side of Emil clutching his hand and stroking his arm.
Everyone had a good idea of why this had happened and what was wrong. This wasn't the first time this had happened either but usually Emil was up by now. Eventually a nurse came in and told Lukas and Mr. and Mrs. Steilsson they all should go home for the night. Reluctantly they all agreed. Mathias remained there next to Emil still clutching his small pale hand.
It was obviously after midnight. Mathias was probably the only patient in the whole hospital still awake. He couldn't sleep. He wouldn't sleep. He needed to stay with Emil. What if something happened while Mathias was asleep? What if Emil woke up all alone? What if... No, no. He couldn't think like that now. He held Emil's hand tighter and watched the rise and fall of Emil's chest. It was almost like a security blanket for Mathias. After all that happened. It felt like the fun they were having earlier had happened years ago, if at all.
He watched Emil breathe. It kept him calm. It kept his thoughts from wandering to...to that. It was proof that Emil was still alive and still right there. But it was also a reminder that this wasn't some sick dream. Mathias blinked. He brushed a lock from Emil's sleeping face.
Emil looked so...calm. Almost like a different person all together. Mathias saw lightning flash out of the corner of his eyes. He imagined there must have been thunder but he wouldn't know.
Another reason he stuck to watching Emil's soft, slow breaths. It was something to look at and keep him focused. He couldn't hear the thunder or anything. That made it all the easier for himself to wander. And he didn't want to think about something he knew he was afraid of.
He stroked Emil's hand. He felt the soft beat of Emil's heart in his wrist.
He sighed. He watched the lightning illuminate Emil's face. His eyes didn't flutter. But Mathias knew there was something there. But he would never know what.
Mathias felt something inside him. It was a blazing pain in his chest. It wasn't so much physical though. He couldn't even explain it to himself. It was hot like a fire but soft. It was sharp though.
Mathias stared at Emil. The warm softness grew. He watched Emil's closed eyes intently. Almost wishing for them to open. He wondered if they ever would again. He felt the softness become sharp and the warmth burned like fire. He felt hot tears slide down his cheeks.
He never could recall feeling this odd mix of polar opposite feelings for any of the friends he used to have. He had felt safe and warm. And sadness and scorching. But never at the same time.
He jumped a little when bright, white lightning lit up the room suddenly. He quickly calmed down. He looked down at Emil. Still asleep. Then, he checked the clock. 2am. Mathias reached out to feel Emil's cheek. It was cold but in a living way.
He felt his own cheeks heat up. He knew right then that he couldn't let this go. He knew that if there was anything he could do he would do it. He knew that if he could have the chance to have never gotten sick, he wouldn't take it. He wouldn't do it. He couldn't imagine himself anywhere unless Emil was next to him. Even if he were in a hospital room holding Emil's hand where Emil was fighting for his life.
He didn't know why he felt this but he did. He smiled. He felt time slow down. He could focus on Emil's breathing. Nothing else. Just Emil's chest rising and falling, rising and falling.
Mathias realized what this feeling was. He felt the 3 words he never thought he'd say tumble from his mouth:
"I love you."
The storm was over. It had ended hours ago. Mathias had eventually fallen into an uneasy sleep. He had rested his head on Emil's chest and fell asleep around 3:30am that morning. When Lukas and his parents got to the room around 8am that morning Mathias was still there fast asleep. He woke up in seconds though when they came through the door. They all knew he had been up most of the night staying by Emil's side.
Mathias' eyes were dull and had large blueish rings under them. He was pale and looked half dead from his lack of sleep. Lukas knew that Emil hadn't woken up.
Mathias kept his distance from the family. He stayed most of the day with Emil. The nurses didn't bother trying to move him. They knew his bond with the boy was strong and they didn't want Mathias to try anything foolish. Despite his disability he was very strong and if he didn't put up a fight he would probably do something worse.
Lukas' parents called him out from school so he could see his comatose-stricken brother.
The doctor said that Emil needed a transplant or he would die. Lukas was worried. Emil had been on a waiting list for years. No donors were available for him. The ones that were matches were for people higher up on the list.
The only hope was that someone in the family could donate. But since Lukas and Mr. Steilsson weren't matches and Mrs. Steilsson was not allowed to donate, Emil didn't have many choices.
Lukas could only hope there would be a car crash in the area or something so there may be a chance of a transplant. But he still couldn't shake the sick feeling that it probably couldn't happen. But he couldn't give up. He had to keep hope. They all knew someday Emil would need a transplant but they thought they'd have longer or more chances.
Vlad and Arthur came by the hospital afetr their school day. Lukas had told them what happened and they brought cards and get well gifts. Vlad brought a huge card and flowers and a small stuffed bunny. He stayed a while and sat with Emil. Arthur brought a smaller card and a balloon. He left almost as soon as he dropped them off.
Around 6 Lukas left with his parents. He said goodbye to Mathias who was most likely going to spend another sleepless night with Emil.
Lukas knew that Mathias really cared for Emil. He knew that either they were really close friends or Mathias may have a little feeling for Emil. Probably both.
Lukas had dated before. He liked a beautiful Belarusian girl once she liked him too but she moved away leaving him heart broken. He didn't want Emil to be heart broken but he had no ability to stop him.
But he was also worried for Mathias. He knew what love and loss felt like. If Emil took a turn for the worst then he knew Mathias would take it hard. It was almost heartbreaking to watch.
They were also cute together. Like in a young romance novel kind of. Lukas never enjoyed heart breaking romance novels like that but his little brother has someone who really cares for him. Cares enough to stay up for hours in the dead of night to stay by his side.
Lukas didn't completely like the idea of his brother dating, but Lukas would be upset nonetheless if Emil never got a chance.
And when he was leaving he hung back and watched Mathias kiss Emil's small hand.
It was almost beautiful.
Almost.
It had been a week. Emil was still in pretty bad condition. He had woken up twice since he passed out. He didn't stay awake long and didn't fully understand his surroundings. He was tired, dizzy and in pain. The first time he woke up Mathias was right beside him. Emil blinked his eyes open and they were met instantly by Mathias' bright blue ones that were sparkling with tears.
Mathias hadn't had a good night's sleep in days. Emil was happy nonetheless that Mathias was there beside him. Mathias smiled. Emil almost didn't want to doze off again. He wanted to stay there and be awake with Mathias next to him.
Emil started to fall asleep again. Mathias stroked his cheek and held his hand. Emil felt as though he were wrapped in a warm blanket. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so comfortable.
"I love you, Emil."
Emil could vaguely hear what was said to him in his barely conscious state. But felt something rush inside him. He felt warmer than he had been in what felt like forever. He fell asleep smiling.
Maybe Emil was in heaven. But if he were in heaven he wouldn't be in pain. It wasn't normal pain. It was a sharp sting. It felt warm and soft but sharp and scorching at the same time. It was a pain that haunted his dreams. The flames grew higher every time he heard a muffled voice he couldn't make out what it was saying. But it was comforting.
He couldn't find the source. But he knew he was safe.
Maybe he was dying?
Maybe it was something else...
"Wait, so you're saying that if my son can't get a successful transplant within the next month. He's going to..."
The doctor looked at Mrs. Steilsson with a sympathetic gaze. "I'm afraid so. And there aren't many potential donations in the area. But there may still be time."
Mrs. Steilsson dabbed at the tears pouring from one of her sharp, indigo eyes. "What will we do? Lukas isn't a match and neither is his father. And I can't become a donor." She paused. A sob shook her softly. "We don't have enough family left willing to do it. And, like you said there aren't many potential donations."
Lukas was in the room with his mother and the doctor. He felt tears threaten to fall at any second. His mom was one of the strongest people he knew and she was sobbing right before his eyes.
Mathias was next to him. He was invited to the meeting. Mathias had as much right as the rest of them to know. A nurse wrote up what the doctor told him. Mathias was afraid and worried.
He had never felt love like this for anyone. And now he could lose Emil. He didn't want to even imagine going on to not have Emil with him to laugh with. To spend time with. Mathias felt tears start falling again. He let them fall, what was the point in trying to fight them.
"Doctor, Is there any hope?" The doctor looked down. "Yes and no. I don't know. His kidneys are both almost fully shut down and if he doesn't get a transplant he will die. But I don't know. There could be a car crash or someone willing to donate may come up a match. We just have to keep our heads up."
Lukas thought. 'I wish I could help him somehow. But all I can do is watch. This is ridiculous! There has to be someone who can do something.' Lukas looked at Mathias. Mathias was looking at the floor and wiped his eye.
Lukas felt bad for him. He felt bad for his parents, He felt bad for himself. But most importantly he felt bad for Emil. Emil never had the 'best life' but he had a life and he was still young and it wasn't fair. Lukas didn't know what to do. He took another look at Mathias.
Then he had an idea.
"Doctor, If someone had something like, say, meningitis can they still donate?"
The doctor thought. "Well, If they're still sick with it them probably not but if they had it and are healthy enough or they died from it and the bacteria was dead then they probably could. I'll have to ask later. Why?"
Lukas felt a small feeling of hope light up inside him. He flashed a look at Mathias who was still crying, then he looked back the the doctor. "No reason. Just wondering."
Lukas was in the car with his parents. He decided now was as good as any to state his idea. "Mom, Dad? I think I may have an idea on how we're gonna save Emil."
The car stopped short. Both his parents whipped around to face him. "Lukas. You're not joking right?" Lukas shook his head. "I'm completely serious."
His dad looked at his mom. "I think we should listen to what he has to say." His mom was shocked speechless. Eventually she spoke. "Well...What is it?!"
Lukas took a deep breath. "I found out that if you had meningitis you can still donate. As long as your healthy enough. I think there may be a chance that we may be able to get Emil a transplant." His parents nodded.
"I think we should have Mathias tested. He may be a match."
His parents looked at Lukas as if he had said the answer to life itself.
"That...That might just...Holy shit...Why didn't anyone else think of that?"
Lukas thought it was probably because no one bothered to ask if it were possible. But other than Mathias being paralyzed from his ribs down, and his loss of hearing. He pretty much didn't have much of a trace of Meningitis itself. The bacteria was no longer contagious.
"He's not contagious. If he were he would be quarantined or Emil would have gotten sick with it a month ago."
Mrs. Steilsson called the doctors the second they had arrived home.
There was a chance.
Mathias was in the meeting room. What the doctor just explained to him shocked him. ["So you're trying to say that I could get tested and if I'm a match Emil may have a chance?"]
The doctor nodded. ["Yes, but it takes many tests. A blood test first to see if you have a matching blood type, then cross match tests, urine tests, tissue tests..."]
Mathias smiled. ["I don't care! I'll do it if I'm compatible I'll do it!"]
The doctor thought for a moment. ["Ok. We'll test and check your blood type. If your types are compatible that's a very good start."]
Mathias waited for a few hours. Then the doctor came back in. Mr. and Mrs. Steilsson and Lukas were there too. Then came the news they were waiting for. Mathias had his fingers crossed.
The doctor wrote something down on a sticky note and folded it before handing it to Mathias. Mathias held his breath opening it. He read the words over and over.
["Mathias, We have your test results. There's good news. You have O negative blood. You're a universal donor for blood. That means yo and Emil have compatible blood types. There are still a few more tests but there's a chance."]
Mathias finally gripped the meaning. He understood the words but it felt like he was dreaming. He knew there were still more tests. Tests he could pass or fail. But it was a start.
Mathias was next to Emil stroking his now fairly matted hair. It was still soft. Mathias watched Emil breathe. It was still the same. In and out, in and out.
Mathias felt the warm creeping inside him. He held Emil's hand tightly in both hands. He warmed the cold fingers in his hands. He rubbed the skin of Emil's pale knuckles.
He felt happy. Happy that soon maybe Emil will he healthy. Maybe soon he'll be able to feel those soft, pale, hands grasping back.
Mathias watched the clock. He looked outside the window. The moon was full and shining. It bathed the room in soft silver light. Emil's face was perfectly illuminated.
'You look perfect. It's almost like there's nothing wrong with you. Like your sleeping. Oh Emil I'm glad you can't see all the shit going on in the waking world.'
Mathias smiled softly. He knew he had a lot of shit ahead. But it didn't phase him at all. He would go under the knife if it meant Emil would have even a slim chance. Hell, he'd do it 10 times. He'd die for Emil.
"If I pass the tests and we're fully compatible you'll be able to be okay. I love you." Mathias bent down to kiss Emil moonlit cheek before falling asleep on Emil's stomach.
As the next days passed Mathias had more tests done. Tissue tests, cross match tests, antibody screenings, urine tests. Everything.
As fast as Mathias was given a test he passed it. He and Emil were fully compatible. Mathias was waiting for an Arteriogram. They were going to inject something, completely harmless to him, into the kidney to see if it functioned properly. If he passed this then he and Emil would go into surgery the next day.
The doctor came in and laid Mathias down on the table and did the test. Mathias knew what was going to happen but not when it was happening exactly. He kept as still as possible the entire time. Soon the test was finished and he felt a nudge on his shoulder. The doctor moved him off the table and wheeled him out to wait for the results.
2 hours later he was given a paper with the results. He read it over and over and felt tears fall from his eyes and travel down his cheeks. He passed. He was a perfect match. He smiled wide and more tears fell. He was overjoyed. He wanted to grab Emil in the biggest hug he could but settled to just hold the boy's hand.
Oddly enough when he grabbed Emil's hand Emil woke right up. He wasn't totally awake. He was groggy. Emil couldn't talk he had a mask in his way. Mathias couldn't hear the attempts either. Mathias tried to explain but Emil's tired, pained, dizzy state and Mathias' slurred accent made it hard for Emil to understand him but he hugged Mathias.
Mathias rubbed Emil's back and kissed his cheek when Emil let go. Emil was shocked at first then slumped back against the pillow. His muscles ached and he was tired but he knew something good was going to happen. Mathias gazed down at him warmly and sleep washed over Emil again.
Mathias stayed next to Emil and watched him breathe. Like every night for the past week and a half Mathias stayed up with Emil until the wee morning hours and fell asleep on the boy's chest feeling him breathe.
It was soothing for Mathias. Even though he would do what ever it took to help Emil he still felt a little nervous about the surgery that would take place a few hours later.
The last thing he saw was Emil's chest rising and falling and the moonlight washing the room in white. Then Mathias felt warm darkness wash over him and closed his eyes.
The next day Lukas arrived at the hospital early with his parents. Mathias wasn't able to eat breakfast and was tired. Lukas had a feeling that that paired with the pre-surgical anxiety would leave him cranky and easily annoyed. Lukas kept his distance and let Mathias get prepped for the procedure.
It was around 10am and Emil snapped awake. He didn't know what was happening until the doctor and his parents explained why Mathias wasn't in the room at the time and what they were going to do to him.
Emil was amazed. Mathias was really going to do this for him. He knew Mathias was really nice to him. But Emil didn't know that he was willing to go under the knife for Emil. The warm, sharp, feeling spread through him. It set his heart ablaze.
A half an hour later Emil was still awake. He was nervous. He never liked surgery. But he was happy to have a chance to be healthy. The sun shone through the window and Emil had forgotten how pretty everything was. He had only been asleep for the better part of 2 weeks. Then Mathias was brought in and next to him.
Emil felt his heart flutter. He hadn't seen Mathias in daylight for days Mathias had a piece of paper and folded it into an airplane. He flew the paper and Emil caught it. He unfolded it and read what was written on it.
["You're awake! Well you've woken up every little bit but still. Are you as nervous as I am? I don't really like the idea of being cut open but I'll do it for you. Also... I have to tell you something..."]
Emil grabbed a pen and another piece of paper ["Yea I'm nervous. I don't like this as much as you! Also If this were the other way around I would do this for you too. What do you want to tell me?"] Emil folded the paper and flung it over to Mathias.
He unfolded it and grabbed another piece of paper.
He threw the new paper airplane over to Emil. Emil caught it and opened it.
["I just wanted to tell you that I love you."]
Emil blushed. The sharp pain in his chest exploded like a firework. But the sparks it left were soft and warm filling his body like water. He quickly replied to the message.
["I love you too Mathias."]
Mathias read the paper and smiled. His freckled cheeks were rosy with a blush that painted his whole face pink. Emil blushed too. The warm feeling made his face and chest feel hot. Their little romantic moment was soon interrupted when 2 nurses came in to wheel both boys into surgery.
As soon as the were close enough they grabbed each other's hands. Emil smiled softly at Mathias. Mathias smiled back with a wide grin.
Mathias handed Emil one last paper.
["Good luck."]
Emil nodded. "You too." And even though Mathias couldn't hear what Emil said he had a pretty good idea of what it was and blushed.
Emil blinked his eyes open and instantly, his head felt like it was being drummed on. He was tired and a little took him a minute to remember what happened and where he was. He tried to move hut his muscles were tired and achy. The worst of the pain came as a dull ache from under his ribs. He lifted up his gown and found a nice, long, stitched up scar sticking out compared to his soft, pale, flesh.
He propped himself up on his pillow. Next to him were a few gifts and things but he wasn't focused on those. No, he saw next to him Mathias was there, holding his head. Emil figured that Mathias had just as bad a headache as he did.
Emil pulled out a paper and wrote on it. ["You're awake. Hm, killer headache huh?"] Emil crumpled the paper and threw it gently. It landed right in Mathias' lap. He turned and looked at Emil and smiled before reading the note.
He threw a paper at Emil a few minutes later. Emil opened it. ["Yeah. Hey we did it! Emil... I love you so much."]
Emil blushed and wrote back. ["I love you too. Thank you. I wouldn't be alive without you. Thank you. I love you Mathias."] Emil threw the paper and blushed darker when Mathias read it and a soft red hue colored his freckled cheeks and nose.
"Aw. You would've done it too." Emil smiled. He really loved Mathias' voice. It was loud, but sweet.
Lukas came in and gave his brother a large hug. "You're okay." Emil giggled a bit. "Of course I'm okay!" Then his mom busted through and glomped Emil and covered his face and neck with kisses. "My baby!" She spoke between kisses. "You're alive! Oh Emil I love you so, so much!"
Emil gasped a bit for air. "I..Love you too mom!" His dad came in and ruffled his hair. "Emi, I'm so happy you're okay!" His dad hugged him too.
Then he turned to Mathias. He grabbed a paper and scribbled down on it before handing it to the boy.
["You... You are heaven sent! Thank you for saving Emil! You two have my blessing! Hell, you have my whole family's blessing! Thank you!"] Mathias smiled.
"Thank you sir. Emil would have done the same for me."
Then the doctor came in. He had a clipboard. "Emil, Your body is responding exceedingly well to the kidney. At this rate you'll be able to go home in 2 days."
Emil cheered then he looked at Mathias who was smiling. "What about Mathias? can he be released?"
The doctor looked down. "I'm sorry Emil but it turns out he's in perfect health and he can get around just fine. He's cleared to go home!" Emil sighed in relief. He was beyond overjoyed He was free. He was healthier than he'd ever been in his life and he was going to have Mathias by his side the whole time.
Then the doctor went to Mathias and showed him 2 pages from the clipboard. At the first page Mathias' eyes lit up and he smiled wide. At the second he let out a holler of pure joy.
"YOU MEAN THERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO TO HELP MY HEARING?!" Emil whipped his head around he was shocked.
The doctor nodded. "It's called a cochlear implant. It transfers sound directly from his ear to his brain through electricity. It helps those with nerve damage like the kind he has. His hearing won't be perfect but it will be enough for him to speak clearly and converse." The doctor explained the device to Emil and his family. "It has to be surgically implanted so Mathias will have to stay a few extra days in the hospital but he'll be able to hear better in no time."
Emil stood up shakily and moved over to Mathias to hug him. They held on and Emil kissed Mathias' lips they both blushed. Then Mathias broke the kiss.
"I can't wait to actually hear your voice. I bet it's as sweet and soft and beautiful as you."
Emil blushed darker and Mathias spoke again.
"I love you."
"I love you too Mathias.
YAY! It's finally done! The longest fic I've written for these two yet! Thank you for all the support! Oh god I love this pairing so much!
A special thanks to Lucy, I couldn't have done this without her continuous support! And thanks to the readers!
But wait, there's more!