They're up on the roof, Sherlock is speaking, when Moriarty realizes.
He's not going home.
Neither of them are. He would never see Sebastian again.
Sebastian. Moran. Bastian. Seb. Sebby. Tiger. Babe. Sugar. Dear. Sweetheart. Soldierboy.
And he was blinking back tears and Sherlock was not talking anymore and he was staring at Moriarty with the strangest look on his face like he was seeing the strangest thing and he was fascinated.. Moriarty tried to sneer but he suspects it didn't work. The effect was rather lessened by the tears slipping down his face.
"I need to make a phone call."
Sherlock cocks his head the side but doesn't object and Moriarty's phone is in his hand and he's hitting redial and of course it's redial it's the only number he ever calls, ever really calls and he's holding it up to his ear and he remembers that the volume's turned all the way up but he doesn't really care anymore Sherlock can hear all he bloody wants and Moran picks up on the first ring of course he does he always does and then Sebastian is speaking to him and his voice hurts it hurts so much it cuts him up inside to know this is the last time he will ever hear it whispering into his ear.
"What, boss?"
"It's over."
Silence over the line. Seb knows what he means.
"It was good, Jim. Really good."
"'Course it was Sebby, what are you implying?" He falls back into old ways just hearing Seb talk. Sarcastic and flirty and threatening and playful and poisonous.
"Nothing. Just- Just-..."
"What no speech? Bastian you dissapoint me. You always loved sentimentality." It's a lie and Sebastian knows it and Jim just waits and sure enough he calls him on it.
"..No I didn't. That was you. But Fine. Here's your damn speech, and I better not get no guff about it, hear me?"
"As crystal."
"Doesn't even make fucking sense, Jim." Jim smiles. He can almost pretend this isn't the end. That maybe they do have an ever after just as JimnSeb both had said they never would. Villians don't get the ever after.
"So. I guess. That." Sebastian said haltingly and Jim snorted slightly. Oh how cute he was really.
"Wouldn't want to keep Sherlock waiting."
"Of course. Wouldn't want to keep your detective waiting." He sneered and Jim can feel the anger transmitting over the connection and it cuts him so bad.
"I love it when you get jealous. It's so sexy. And then you go shoot someone later."
"Only because you ask."
"Hmm." But Seb enjoys it he always does he loves shooting people who get close to Jim who touch Jim.
"Well, anyways. So, like, I'll miss you when you're dead." No inflection in his voice but Jim knows he always knows. "I'll kill myself." There is no sarcasm in his voice and Jim can see what he's going to do.
"Don't." A last desperate request. Don't take away your life my dear don't show how much I affected you how much control I had over you how much I owned you because i need you to stay to stay and finish and do everything I never could.
"Is that an order? You won't be able to do a thing about it. Because you'll be fucking dead because of some fucking game you wanted to play with your better half." His voice had steadily risen and was now an angry shout and it sends chills down Jim's spine. He quieted again and spoke in a frustrated voice.
"I really don't want you to die with me being angry at you, so. I fucking love you." There it is. I love you too you great fucking twat you stupid fucking soldierboy I always did I need you I've always needed you please don't leave me love.
"I still think that house by the beach was a damn sight better than the fucking lakeside one, but whatever." A snort and Jim nearly falls to his knees.
"And tell Sherlyboy his yarders can come get my body from on top of the building across." Of course Sebby darling anything for you but he can hear it you know he can hear every word you speak every word out of your mouth meant for me and only me is heard by both of us.
"You don't even remember the address?" And Jim knows it's in his voice and Sebastian can hear it can understand it. His tone thrums with it every word is desperately screaming out everything he never said everything he could never speak aloud and what he still cannot form the words to capture what Sebastian knew all along and Jim only discovered just recently.
"Never do."
And in his reply Jim can hear the acknowledgement and knows Sebastian heard and that he feels the same and that's all Jim ever wanted, ever needed, really.
"Bye, Jim."
click.