A/N Just a small ploy bunny that started hopping around in my head, as they typically do at one in the morning. Lol. This is what I wish had happened all those years ago when Courtney and Jason ended. To those of you who read Ocean Avenue and Cherry Street I'll have the chapter up tonight or tomorrow, I'm really sorry about the wait on that one. The a/n in the chapter will explain. So anyway as you came here to read this story…read away…
Song: Calling All Angels by Train
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or the song. (Well, no duh, as no way in hell would I have destroyed Journey the way those 'writers' for the show did.)
"Courtney, wait…" Jason said grabbing her arm and spinning her around to face him as water poured down around them.
"Jason, I, I can't, we can't…" Courtney answered not meeting the eyes of the man she knew she would never stop loving, could never stop loving as she tried to wrench her arm from his grasp. Her eyes were focused on the harbor she directed her vision toward the water droplets as they hit the surface of the water. So like her tears sliding into an endless abyss of misery.
"No, we can, we can do this, Court, I love you."
"Love isn't always enough, Jason." Courtney whispered looking up at him her body language screaming for him to let her walk away. But Jason didn't notice this. He reached out his free hand to her and lifted her chin so that she was looking directly into his eyes.
"Today, today it is." He answered evenly.
"No. I can't take this, Jason. I can't do this anymore, I can't pretend I don't know what your work entails, and I can't live with the constant worry." She said silently pleading with her soon to be ex-husband. "I'm drowning here, I can't do this, I can't breathe. You need to let me go. Please."
"Look me in the eyes, Courtney, look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me, tell me that you don't want this. And then I'll let you walk away." Jason replied looking as though his heart was breaking where he stood. "Say it." He whispered when she didn't answer.
"I never claimed I didn't love you, I do, but Jason I can't do this. I can't. Damnit Jason, just let me leave." Courtney whispered choking on her words a sob raked through her body. This is what it feels like to drown. Courtney thought idly as she struggled to regain control of her emotions. You feel the world crash down around you and the wait of it all presses down on you and you just want it to end, but it won't and you slowly suffocate. I'm dying, I'm drowning. There is no safe, there is no good, there is no happiness.
I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you can feel the world shake from the words that I said
"No, Courtney. I'm not going to give up on us. Don't give up on us. We can do this." Jason said wanting nothing more then for her to believe his words, for her to come home with him, for the world to be right again. Courtney shook her head sadly and Jason felt something snap inside him. "Why, Courtney? Why are you doing this to us? We can do this, I know we can do this, damnit, we stayed together when everyone was against us, I lost my best friend, you lost your brother, and we still stayed together, and then when everyone finally accepts us you're ready to give up? No way, Court, no, just no, I won't let you do this."
"And I won't delude myself so it seems we've reached a crossroads." Courtney said her tone fierce even as she held back another sob.
"No, we haven't. You're deluding yourself when you say you can move on, that you can leave me, because we both know that we need each other, we want to be together."
And I'm calling all angels
And I'm calling all you angels
And I won't give up if you don't give up
I won't give up if you don't give up
I won't give up if you don't give up
I won't give up if you don't give up
"Look at me." Jason commanded. "Look at me." He repeated when she didn't comply. Sighing heavily Courtney met his eyes feeling almost physical pain when she saw the devastation that rested in the blue orbs. "And tell me you can move on, tell me you want to, tell me you can stop loving me. And I'll let you walk away right now. Just say it. And we'll be done."
"I can't." Courtney admitted softly after a pause during which she opened and closed her mouth several times trying to find the strength to lie, but she found she couldn't.
"Then what are you doing? What are we doing?" He asked in a soft voice as the rain drops beat a steady drumming around them.
"I don't know. I don't know." Courtney said the tears coming faster now. Jason released his hold on her shoulder and pulled her into his arms resting his chin on her head as she sobbed tears mixing with rainwater.
I need a sign to let me know you're here
Cause my tv set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
He lost track of how long they stood there as the storm unleashed torrents of rain on their heads. But they paid it no notice. They had lost track of reality and all that existed was each other and in that moment it became clear that they could never leave, they would never be able to move on. Jason pulled back from the embrace and Courtney looked up at him in confusion. Her silent question was answered when he leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss. The rain beat down around them washing away the mistakes of yesterday and making room for what tomorrow would bring. And as they stood there they were okay with their relationship, for once they were truly okay. They understood, and they could do this. They wanted to.
And I'm calling all angels
And I'm calling all you angels
A/N Review! And now the bunny has hopped away. Well not really, I have about nine more Journeyshots I need to write. But for this story anyway…Review!