Disclaimer: Neither NCIS nor Rascal Flatts lyrics belong to me.
Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain, Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye
He wore a black suit. He'd often thought of wearing a black suit to see her, but never like this. In his imagination, she'd be wearing a white dress and there would be flowers everywhere and he would only have eyes for her. In his imagination, he would be able to see her face smiling at him and he would be able to look forward to the rest of his life with her. In his imagination, she was alive.
He walked up the coffin following Jenny carrying a single red rose. He stood in front of her picture and thought of everything he wanted to, but couldn't, say to her. He sighed. It started out as simple banter and the occasional, "accidental" touch. It should have gone further. He should have taken her on a date. He should have kissed her, loved her, married her. He should have been able to face up to his feelings. Now, it was impossible.
He placed the rose on her coffin and said the only word which could encompass his feelings, "Sorry Kate." Sorry I couldn't bring myself to say the words I wanted to. I love you, he thought and turned away from the woman whom he had almost opened his heart to. He never thought he would feel this for another woman after Shannon again, but Kate had taught him that someone could love an old, coldhearted bastard like himself.
He walked away from the coffin slowly with Jenny on one arm and Abby on the other. He put on a façade like everything was ok and only those who knew him well could see what effect Kate's murder had on him. Behind the characteristic smirk plastered on his face was the image of a man who had just lost everything, again.