Characters are not mine... but i wish they were... this actually an excerpt from one of my long fanfics, but im not sure if i should continue it, so if you think i should ^^
Uncertainty and Betrayal
"Abarai, after you have done your report in Baishin you can go back and switch places with Rukia, and don't give me those reports you do for Byakuya. It is unlegible" Hitsugaya said unimportantly, waving him away to be dismissed.
"Hai Hitsugaya taicho" Renji replied taking leave of the 10th division office. He encountered Matsumoto outside the office probably eavesdropping on the conversation. The 10th division fukutaicho gave him a big smile and went inside the office. Renji shrugged and went to the 6th division. Rukia was in soul society since the Baishin incident, her rest being disrupted as it is.
"Taicho!" Matsumoto said her voice jolly her face split in a big smile.
"What is it Matsumoto?" Toushiro replied coldly.
"Taicho, no need to be so cold, so is Renji good taicho?" Matsumoto asked her grin wide as Gin.
"Matsumoto stop being a pervert."
"Hmmm… taicho isn't Kurosaki gorgeous? You must have seen him."
"He is Abarai property."
"Hmmm… so you do think he's gorgeous?"
"Matsumoto" Toushiro said his voice rising. The truth was he did find Kurosaki gorgeous now that he was away from the substitute shinigami so long. No wonder Abarai was so eager to go back to earth. Having someone like Kurosaki would probably make them possessive. He saw Matsumoto smiling and laughing at the back of her hand. Then she saw him glare at her menacingly and she quickly got out of the room.
"Rangiku-san, why was Renji called over?"
"Oi, Hisagi-san he was told to go back to the living world. He seemed so eager to go back, taicho had said."
"Ahhhh… Arigato" Hisagi replied trying to locate Renji's reiatsu but only felt traces of it, he sighed. Renji was back on the living world alright, without even telling him, guess what happened was only somewhat an accident. He sighed.
-
"Why are you here Renji?" Ichigo said sighing. They were on the rooftop of the Karakura High School.
"Don't you even miss me Ichi?" Renji sighed, he was the immortal one but Ichigo seems to be the one who didn't notice time passing by. "Oh yeah, where was that weird blue animal?"
"Ririn? I left her on the bag down stairs." Ichigo said flippantly resting his body on the side of the fence.
"You don't seem to miss me Ichigo"
"Ren…"
"Hmmm…?" Renji was already quite irritated that Ichigo didn't even answer him, but hearing his nickname Ren made him a bit elated.
"If you were to choose between being a shinigami there in soul society and be in the living world, which would you choose?" Ichigo asked looking at Renji sidewise.
"Shinigami of course, you can always follow me there Ichi, it's not like you're not invited in soul society." Renji replied nonchalantly.
"What if it's really a long time?"
"Don't really matter; besides Ichi you're always welcome there won't be a time that you won't be welcome."
"If you're shinigami work told you to get rid of me will you?"
"I already did Ichigo remember when you were in soul society?" Renji replied feeling uneasy to Ichigo's questions. He didn't exactly know how to answer the last question; he knew Ichigo was asking him what if it was now, he was pretty sure he would stand up for Ichigo. He heard Ichi sigh and he looked at him puzzled he didn't understand what emotion was on Ichigo's face.
"I'm going to class now and I do miss you Renji." Ichigo smiled at him and headed down to class.
"I'll drop by your house" Renji said smiling back. Renji sat down and thought things over. Something must be bothering Ichigo. He stood up and flashed step to Urahara's he didn't have a nice sleep for sometime. He had a problem himself and he didn't know if he should tell Ichigo or not.
-
Ichigo walked down the stairs to class. Renji's answer wasn't exactly the ones he wanted, he wanted to be sure that Renji would always be there with him and he didn't exactly answer the last question. He sighed again he couldn't ask Renji the question he so wanted to ask what if he wasn't welcome to soul society anymore. After all he did have a hollow inside him. Renji have came back from soul society a week earlier but today was the only time they were able to talk each other. He sighed as he went back to his seat. That night he expected Renji to come over but he didn't. Ririn told him that a bounto was about. He forgot all about Renji as they found a bounto and a battle ensued. Rukia had again come to them, when Sado and Inoue came they were shocked to see Rukia, Ichigo remembered that the last time Rukia came they weren't there. Rukia took notice that Renji wasn't with them but didn't comment. When they had gathered at Ichigo's house they talked and then Renji had busted in on them. Ichigo was quite ticked of at Renji for not visiting him that night and more ticked off that he had called stupid for talking about the bounto's. They quarreled until the other's left; Rukia went home with Inoue feeling that the lovers might want some space for themselves. Kon was left with Ririn, and Kon figuring that Ichigo would want to stay with Renji dragged Ririn out of the vicinity and went to Yuzu and Karin's room.
"Why are you pissed Ichigo?" Renji asked looking at him skeptically.
"You"
"ME? What did I do?"
"Hmph"
"Oh is it because I didn't come over earlier?" Renji teased; seeing Ichigo blush he figured that was the reason. "Missed me eh?"
Ichigo gulped as he saw that Renji was slowly crawling towards him. It had been a week since they had done anything sexual and Ichigo could already feel his pants tightening as he hardened. He fell down the bed as Renji stretched out in front of him. The night was full of moans that night as the two made love. Ichigo could feel Renji's uneasiness when they had done the deed but he just kept quiet as he soon after fell asleep. Renji hugged Ichigo to his chest thinking how lucky of him to have Ichigo, he felt Ichigo shifted in his chest wrapping his thighs on Renji's thigh. He felt Ichigo snuggle closer to him and breathed a sigh of relief "Renji let's sleep" Ichigo said as he snuggled closer falling back to his slumber. Renji sighed and looked at the ceiling. He wasn't sure if he should tell Ichigo or not. It would surely hurt Ichigo if he knew, but maybe Ichigo doesn't need to know. He snuggled Ichigo closer to him. Feeling somewhat uncertain, he was starting to compare Ichigo with someone else, he didn't even notice as tears fell down his cheeks, falling into an uneasy slumber.
-FLASHBACK-
Toushiro just dismissed Abarai for the day after not having any clues as to where Baishin was. Renji went out feeling useless, it was the fourth day now and they still haven't found the renegade shinigami. He walked carelessly, this past three days he was able to momentarily forget Ichigo because Shuuhei was always there with him. Shuuhei had been through a lot since Tousen was found to be a traitor. The 9th division fukutaicho had seemed sad about what had happened and Renji was able to make him feel better. Shuuhei knew that he shouldn't be doing what he was doing but he had liked Renji even before the substitute shinigami had come. Besides it wasn't like he would steal Renji away from Ichigo.
"Renji, Hisagi-san what about a drink of sake?" Matsumoto bellowed as she saw the two fukutaicho in the entrance of the 10th division, Renji going out the big doors and Hisagi walking past the doors.
"No thank you Rangiku-san Hitsugaya-taicho might reprimand me tomorrow." Renji said as he walked back to his quarters.
"Neh, Renji you're no fun" Matsumoto grumped "Kurosaki-kun might have forbid you eh?"
Hisagi saw Renji stop walking as Matsumoto continued on talking. He saw Renji blush and was thinking of what to say to Matsumoto and he finally blurted out.
"How'd you know?" Renji said blushing crimson.
"That's a secret Renji, though I might accidentally slip to the 11th division about it tomorrow if a certain someone doesn't come with us." Rangiku said smiling at the now Red faced Renji, his hair and face almost marching each others color.
"Fine" Renji grumbled as he followed the other two fukutaicho.
When they sat down for sake, Rangiku had already ordered they're sake acting as though she had done it thousand times already, which she probably had. Shuuhei wasn't a very heavy drinker; he easily got drunk even with just a few sip of sake. After a while Shuuhei had already feeling dizzy, but he found that all his problems seem to disappear as he went deeper and deeper to the presence of alcohol. He felt the bar spinning and he smiled goofily at Renji who was beside him. Matsumoto had been called to take care of Hinamori and she stumbled out the bar as she waved to the other two.
Renji looked at Shuuhei and figured they should go, Shuuhei didn't look very good. He himself was already a bit drunk but not as drunk as Shuuhei, he sighed and helped his friend walk, putting down they're bill on the desk, he slowly helped Shuuhei outside. Shuuhei insisted that he can walk on his own until he fell down a series of steps.
"Heheh… cool" Shuuhei croaked grinning goofily at Renji. Renji couldn't help admiring Shuuhei it has been the first time that he saw the stoic fukutaicho grin, more like it was his first time to see him happy without a care with the world. As Shuuhei stood up and walked he bumped into a wall "Uhnnn… where'd that come from"
Renji chuckled helping his friend maintain his balance and he slowly took Shuuhei to his quarter. He still remembered where Shuuhei had lived but he couldn't remember what number it was, he's dizziness was catching up to him. He asked Shuuhei but the answer he got was just a grunt and Shuuhei pointed to the farthest quarter. He helped Shuuhei up but he saw that the other fukutaicho was already asleep. Half dragging and half carrying his friend he went inside the quarter and he dumped Shuuhei in the couch. But then Shuuhei seemed to be about to throw up, and he did. Shuuhei threw up on his front. Renji sighed and gagged as he saw Shuuhei threw up. He sighed and closed the door.
He looked for a basin and saw one in the bathroom. He filled it with water and brought it to Shuuhei with a cloth in his hands. He looked at Shuuhei and then sighed, 'oh well, I can't exactly leave him like this' he thought as he tried to take off Shuuhei's sleeveless shihakshou. He gulped as he saw Shuuhei's body; he could feel his arousal harden a combination of lust and alcohol. He felt a bit drowsy; the alcohol was catching up on his tolerance.
He couldn't stop staring at the body that was in front of him. Shuuhei was so different to Ichigo, Ichigo had hard but slim abdomen and you could see that it was still developing. What he saw in Shuuhei was very different, Shuuhei's body was hard everywhere his abdomen and chest was smooth yet hard, he could see Shuuhei's gorgeous body as the other breathed. He stared at it for a long time until Shuuhei coughed and it broke his reverie. He continued putting away Shuuhei's shihakshou still looking at Shuuhei. He washed the wash cloth in the water and tried to clean Shuuhei of the stench. He stopped as he saw that Shuuhei was already clean. He couldn't stop looking at him still.
He leaned over and looked at the sleeping form, there didn't seem to be any more problem until he saw that Shuuhei's shihakshou was filthy, and he remembered that Shuuhei had fallen down into the stairs and also the fact that there was still some puke on the lower part of the shihakshou. Renji sighed thinking if he should let it stay there or take it off. After sometime he finally figured he might as well take it off, and he knew he should lie down as well, he couldn't hold off the alcohol that he kept at bay, he had moved too much making him dizzier. Who would have ever thought that alcohol would be slow acting on him?
He pulled of the shihakshou his hands trembling and gasped as he saw that Shuuhei's boxers were constricted. He looked away and he slowly took Shuuhei towards the room and when he lied Shuuhei down, he felt his arm tremble and weaken and he fell with Shuuhei to the futon feeling his dizziness kick in.
He tried to stand up and get Shuuhei something to wear when he felt Shuuhei tug him back. "uhn…" Renji looked back and saw Shuuhei's eyes glazed over looking at him, he could tell that Shuuhei was afraid but he didn't know why he was afraid. It shocked him to see that the unafraid and stoic Shuuhei Hisagi actually showed fear, but what he was afraid of, he didn't know. He didn't know how to react to what he saw, and without even noticing he had hugged Shuuhei.
Shuuhei felt Renji hugged him, tears silently flowing from his eyes. He had woken up into Renji putting him down to the futon and the red haired had fallen down on him, when the red hair was about to go he felt afraid that maybe Renji had been seen through him and he felt afraid he had gripped Renji's arm and tried to talk but all he managed was a croak.
Renji had hugged him and his eyes just started to cry on its own. Then he felt a soft breeze on his leg and he noticed that he was only on boxers. He felt shy all of a sudden thinking that Renji had actually helped him out of his uniform. He felt Renji's fingertips stroking his back and trailing down and up his form. He shivered as Renji kissed his neck, he heard himself moan as Renji licked his jaw, and he felt Renji's arousal in his thigh.
Renji felt Shuuhei undid the band of his hair; he felt his hair fall down his shoulder and Shuuhei's hands was undressing his shihakshou, he moaned as Shuuhei's fingers touched him tentatively. He moaned loudly calling out Shuuhei's name as Shuuhei lied him on the futon undressing him, nothing else was on his mind but Shuuhei's lips and fingers on him, he felt Shuuhei getting something under the futon and dismissed immediately as Shuuhei grasped his member.
He felt Shuuhei's bulging muscles shift as the other man explore him. He had never felt anyone explore him as much as Shuuhei had. He felt that Shuuhei had explored every inch of his body from the strands of his hair to his toes, he just moaned and groaned as Shuuhei had already fully undressed him and kissing his body. He wanted more of Shuuhei's heat; it was burning him and singeing his whole body.
Renji grasped Shuuhei's hair and growled loudly as he felt Shuuhei's mouth on his member and felt Shuuhei's wet finger on his entrance, he opened his legs as far as he could. He squirmed as Shuuhei pushed his fingers in, Shuuhei wasn't slow and delicate like Ichigo, and he was rough and full of need. He gasped as Shuuhei suckled his member biting lightly on his arousal and he felt another finger came inside him. He yelled out as Shuuhei pushed and pulled his fingers he couldn't stop himself he wanted that roughness and need Shuuhei was giving him, he felt Shuuhei pulled out his fingers and stopped suckling him.
He felt Shuuhei shift on top of him and saw Shuuhei there, he looked so rough and handsome that he couldn't take his eyes of him. Shuuhei teased his entrance pushing in the head, he yelled out as Shuuhei roughly went inside him he wanted that feeling of need that Shuuhei had given him, Shuuhei was bigger in length and width than Ichigo. Renji Screamed out as Shuuhei fucked him roughly, fast and precise, the pace was increasing and he felt that spot being hit so fast and multiple times that he could barely breathe because of pleasure. Shuuhei was drinking in Renji's screams of pleasure, Renji was still tight and he could feel that Renji was about to come. He could tell that this was the first time Renji felt this much pleasure. Renji was screaming his throat out and gripping him so tightly until Renji screamed Shuuhei's name coming in his stomach. Shuuhei was already on the edge and he also came into Renji.
He lied down and gripped Renji to his chest. Renji was weak he couldn't believe that he had let it happen. He had just betrayed Ichigo and not only that; he had liked what Shuuhei had done. He was even the one who made it possible. Shuuhei could feel that Renji felt bad and that he was thinking of Ichigo. He felt somewhat responsible he shouldn't have done it he knew. He didn't know how to react now that it was all done. He knew that he would always remember Renji's face when he screamed his name over and over again. What was bad was that he had his whole immortality to remember that moment that he had Renji, all of Renji.
Shuuhei felt Renji shift and sat up, they were both silent when Renji dressed himself again. Shuuhei didn't want Renji to go but he had no idea what to say, he watched as Renji dressed, when he was about to go Shuuhei couldn't stop himself, but it was Renji who talked.
"Shuuhei, please don't tell anyone… I… I'm sorry"
"Renji, you don't need to say it. Don't say sorry I… should be the one to say sorry, I had wanted something that I shouldn't have" Shuuhei said feeling his eyes sting. He had just hurt himself. "Aishiteru Renji"
Renji went out of Shuuhei's quarter tears running down his face as Shuuhei's word kept repeating itself on his head. "Aishiteru Renji" "I love you Renji" it just repeated again and again in his head. "I had wanted something I shouldn't have" his tears kept falling down his eyes. Shuuhei was on his futon crying himself to sleep, cursing himself for making a way to hurt him.