Y'know, normally the song or songs I have on repeat while writing explains a lot about the result in the end. But I honestly don't know how I can justify this while listening to What about us from Within temptation/tarja, and Skillet with Rise. Things misfire in my brain, that's all I can say.

ANYWAY

This was one of the request from my dear follower and reviewer Ria d'Arcy, who asked for a hotspring scene between Illumi, Hisoka, and Hisoka's precious stuffed bunny Usa-chan. It is 3am once again, and I'll be damned if that isn't the best damn time of day to write. Mayhaps I'll do a crackpairing in a bit while I'm at it. It's not like I have class tomorrow... ehehe...

PREPARE TO BE CRACKED

Every now and then there would be a time where I had neither a job at the moment, nor a job pending. It is at rare times like that that I give my body the chance to rest and heal. I had picked the same hot spring I always did, but of course there was one person standing in the way of complete rest.

'I thought it was a taboo for you to be predictable.'

'How do you know I have no jobs pending?' I inclined my head at the redhead blocking the entrance. He most likely just memorized my requests when going here, and kept his eye on it until they were made again. 'Mah, doesn't really matter. Just keep out of my way, I'm not here for interaction with you.' Hisoka stepped aside when I approached him, and followed soon after.

'Oh but I'm not the only other visitor today.' When I stopped and turned around to ask what he meant by that, my words halted in my throat and I closed my mouth again. I looked from his hands back to his eyes, and back again.

'You're not bringing that in the water with us.' His eyes narrowed in amusement, but my eyes were glued on the stuffed bunny he was covering half his face with. This is not the kind of crazy I'm used to from him.

'Oh but I think Usa-chan disagrees with that.' He waved the little paws at me a little when he talked. This is a six foot tall fighting machine that was waving that pinkish children's toy at me. I was starting to get the inkling my rest wasn't going to happen today. Seeing as he made sure to be here when I was, I also had the feeling he wasn't going to let himself be removed that easily either.

I turned back around when he started flapping the ears a little. I shouldn't let myself be bothered by it, I came here to relax, and I will – with or without the presence of Hisoka and his bunny.

'Usa-chan is ever so grateful that you accept him.' I closed my eyes and took a deep breath when he said this, and I took the path leading to my usual spot.

'Usa-chan can join, but he won't enter the water.' Best to play along with this, take the path of the least resistance.

I was wrong.

It takes Hisoka to make me admit something like this.

While undressing I'd seen him setting the bunny aside, but not before he'd attached his nen to it, and the thing had started living its own life. Right at this moment it started climbing up my leg,

'If he's not away from me in five seconds, this toy will be dismembered beyond recognition.' I felt it stop half way my upper leg before Hisoka answered.

'Such a cruel thing to say, Usa-chan just likes to be near you.' He was using this thing to speak through?

'The feeling's not mutual.' When I turned around to face the redhead, he lifted his hands in innocence, and freed my leg once again. That Hisoka likes to play around was one thing – it had never been so literal or irritating.

'Ahw, you made him sad.'

'I don't care for the feelings of a puppet.' He chuckled when I said that, and lay his clothes away. When I saw him walking outside to the actual hot spring with that thing on his shoulder, I decided to make the threat a bit more clear, 'I don't care if you get dismembered as well, it's not coming with us.' He stopped and turned his head barely enough to look back at me, and grinned from ear to ear,

'Not having any work to do puts you on edge, doesn't it? You're a lot more fun when you're on a mission.' His grin dropped when I didn't respond, and continued walking outside. Well, it's not like his words are untrue. Normally this wouldn't bother me as much. Sighing, I put my clothes away as well, and tied my hair up before going after him.

'Why don't you let Usa-chan take care of some of that tension for you?' As soon as I was outside he lifted his hand, and let the thing walk over to me again before he set foot in the water. It stopped right in front of me, and Hisoka turned around leaning his arms on the edge, gauging my reactions. He wiggled his finger, and the thing in front of me wiggled its ears at me. I didn't even think twice about setting my foot on it, but Hisoka had retreated it before the impact. A second later he made it act all shocked, and I heard a chuckle coming from him. He won't let me get near it, and if it touches me again I won't be able to remove it because of his nen.

'Ignoring you is the only thing that will work, isn't it?' The almost childishly amused expression I got thrown at me told me that wasn't going to work either.

So I resigned to my fate and set foot in the warm water as well.

What is his obsession with this thing either way?

After half an hour he hadn't stopped playing with it, and I had to wonder if stalking Gon for so long had had its effects on him. I leaned up a bit in the water and observed it from a distance. I had been strangely left alone for the most of this time. This was usually different when the redhead decided to bother me. Was he trying to get my attention by exerting deviant behavior? Mah, I couldn't deny it was working to some extent.

'Why are you here if not to bother me?' The bunny stopped moving when he turned back to me. I'd made sure there was considerable distance between us though. I know of his tricks when he's in a playful mood.

'My, can't we enjoy each other's company without actual interaction?' He leaned back with his arms over the edge, and tilted his head a little when responding. But I was clueless as to his answer and tilted my head as well.

'That kind of interaction is reserved for friends, isn't it? I don't remember becoming that with you.'

'You wound me.' As soon as he started moving his fingers again, the toy started happily hopping back inside.

'I doubt your feelings can be hurt.' He laughed again. Whatever was going on in his mind, this situation seemed to be highly amusing to him. I looked back around when the toy returned, holding something and hopping towards me. I had to admit that I was slightly surprised when seeing what it was.

'You found a Benz' knife?' I took it from the bunny as soon as it was close enough and examined it a little before confirming that it actually was one. Father will be pleased with this. In the distraction of looking at it, I suddenly felt the softness of that toy pushing against my shoulders with alternating pressure, and I looked back at Hisoka orchestrating this.

'I thought you'd like it.' This is why he sought me out? Wouldn't he want to keep it for himself? But more importantly.

'Of course I'm pleased with it. Now can you stop using this toy to do what you want to do?' I wanted to pluck it away from my shoulders, but Hisoka retreated it before I could reach it. He knew the consequences if I'd get a hold of it.

'Oh~ but I'm not letting poor Usa-chan do what I want to do.' I laid the knife safely away from the water and raised an eyebrow at his words. He's not?

He let the pink bunny hop on his shoulder and give him a hug before it retreated to sit against the wall outside. At that point Hisoka released his nen from it, and I turned back to him when I heard the sound of water moving.

'I'm not going to let Usa-chan steal this joy from me.' I remained in one place even when he was right in front of me. This was more the kind of thing I was used to from Hisoka.

'You should know better than to give me a weapon before approaching me.' Not that I needed it. As soon as he wanted to move closer again, I strengthened my hand and placed my nails against his abdomen under the water.

'I didn't think it would make all that much of a difference either way.'

'What are you planning to do?' He didn't move away.

'Giving you something that will actually relax you.'

'You expect to accomplish this by assaulting me?' I intensified the threat with my aura,

'My dear Illumi, you're misunderstanding.' I cocked my head at the gleam in his eyes,

'Then what are you doing?'

'What if I promise you that what I'm about to do won't incapacitate you, and it will give you the effect you're going for in this place?'

'Your promises mean nothing.' But I still retreated my nails and raised my voice a little in annoyance, 'But I'm well aware of your persistence. If you do something that dissatisfies me, your head will fly.' I retreated my aura. It wasn't a moot threat, and Hisoka knew this. But still he smiled very pleased back at me before setting his knees next to my legs and reattaching his nen to the toy against the wall. 'What are you planning to do with that?'

'Hm~, securing my gift to you.' I didn't look away from Hisoka, but the sounds confirmed this action. As soon as I heard the thing coming back outside, it sat down closer than it was before. However, it was released again, so I paid it no more heed than needed.

As soon as he'd done this, he reached his hands up and glided them up in my hair from the back, untying it until it fell down in a wave behind me over the edge. I gave him a look that asked if this was really needed, but he just looked down at me with a mirth that spelled he had won some kind of game from the moment I'd given permission to play it. He licked his lips before he let his hands glide down over my shoulders, and leaned his head next to my ear. I was very much prepared to attack him at any given point, but he didn't let that stop him.

'Mm~ I'm guessing this is new to you, so I'll do the work.' His breath tickled against my ear before he pulled on it with his teeth. Normally this would have been enough reason to stick my pins in him, but for some reason this wasn't the reaction my body went for.

'… …' I kept from vocalizing the response, and wondered what and why that had happened. I'm not this sensitive to touch.

Hisoka didn't give me the time to contemplate on this when he trailed his tongue down from my ear to my neck and started kissing and sucking on it. I was aware of the kind of relaxation he had in mind and it didn't surprise me he had this in mind. What did was that my body responded to it and tilted my head to give him more room for it. He placed his hands on the edge behind me when he noticed this and broke contact for a second.

'It seems Usa-chan did his job well.' My eyes shot open some more in realization, and Hisoka giggled when he noticed the message had come across. What kind of trick had he planted on that stuffed toy?

I was stopped from thinking on it when Hisoka continued, and trailed his lips over to mine. But he stopped there, looking at me at a mere inch's distance – looking pleased with his victory. He flicked out his tongue at my lips, but he never really made contact; instead he let his hands find my body again, and glided them down over my chest,

'Don't worry, my goal hasn't changed.' I breathed out against his lips when he stroked his fingertips over my nipples, and my eyes closed a little in the pleasurable feeling. 'You will be thoroughly relaxed by the end of it.' When he repositioned himself a little, I lay my hands on his waist.

After a couple of second of letting him play his hands over my chest, I exuded a force on him that made sure he would stop a second and focused on my eyes. With them I told him that if this wouldn't be the case, I would use that very Benz' knife to carve him apart. But this look only seemed to excite him more, and he bit down on my bottom lip. He pulled on it and made me open my mouth, sliding his tongue in. When finding mine and noticing I responded to the touch, he raised his body a little and made me arch my neck to keep our lips locked. But I had to let go when I hit the edge. I was faced with Hisoka's bare neck at this point, and decided to denounce his earlier statement.

'Mmm~' I felt the sound exit his throat when I grazed my lips and teeth over his neck, and licked a trail to his collarbone, 'You do know what to do.' The tone of his voice got incredibly low and husky. I let go of his skin for a second to respond.

'Did you think I've never done this before?' He took some distance again to look down at me, and he bit his tongue,

'I would very much like to know who's had the pleasure before.'

'That is of no concern to you at this poin—aah!' He caught me off guard when he'd lowered himself and his hand made it to my groin.

'That is indeed of no concern right now.' He let out a low chuckle before he took a deep breath and disappeared under water. All I saw was a flow of red hair right before I felt his tongue glide up my dick and circle around the tip. I put my hands in that mass of red and hunched over him a little when he continued his movements, bobbing his head up and down, stroking his hand along my hardening erection. I felt my hair glide off the edge and into the water. It started mixing with the red, but I didn't notice it anymore after I closed my eyes for a second in pleasure.

If Hisoka would keep this up, it wouldn't take long to give me this relaxation he was talking about, and he seemed to notice this. When he pulled his mouth away from me, I untangled my hair with his to let him get out of the water again. At first he didn't get further up than his eyes though, and gave me an intense look. He was planning to do something else first, wasn't he. I looked at him a little out of breath and decided to raise my voice before he could when he stood up,

'Are you hard enough yet to enter me, or do you need some help.' His eyes widened for a second to let the words sink in before responding,

'Ooh~ I think I'm grateful for the one that came before me.' The smirk on his face betrayed his answer before I could see it when he stood up completely. 'I think I'm good.' To get this over with, I already turned around and leaned my arms over the edge, pulling my hair over to one side. 'Oh yes, I'm very grateful.' It didn't take him long to press his erection against the inside of my leg, and placed his hands next to me on the edge. He let his lips and tongue find the bare side of my neck, and I turned it a little for better access. It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying this, it was just that being lost in anything when close to Hisoka was a hazard.

He rubbed himself up against me and the soft moans he was making while doing that elicited small sounds from me as well.

'Mm~ thank you very much for the generous offer.' He whispered close to my ear right before he placed himself at my entrance, and took his sweet time pushing deep inside of me. I arched my neck in response to this feeling, and the strained groan coming from the redhead was followed by a satisfied sigh,

'Ah yes, this is the place to be.' He gave me no time to retort as he angled himself a little and started thrusting – searching for the right spot inside of me. I wanted to lay my head down on my arms, but Hisoka didn't let me. He stopped and pulled me back up by my hair, biting in my earlobe. He let go of my hair when he noticed I was enjoying the feeling of my ear being punctured and didn't lay my head back down. He stroke his hands down the side of my body until he had a firm grip on my hips. This time he did find the right spot inside of me.

'Nngh..' I let it escape before I realized, and pulled my ear away from his mouth. From there Hisoka decided to focus on hitting it again. And again. And again. And again. I was being slammed hard against the edge of this hotspring, as his lips trailed down my neck and ended up locked against my shoulder.

I leant down and bit my arm when one of his hands relocated to my erection and started stroking me in rhythm with his thrusting. He wasn't exactly quiet through all of this, and liked to let me know through those sounds that he very much enjoyed today. This was drowned out after a while by my own shortened breaths, and I pressed myself harder against him when I noticed I was close to coming.

As soon as I did this, he slammed into me a couple more times, but stopped just before I finished. He scratched his nails over my back, my shoulders, and through my hair over my scalp. Just as I was about to wonder what he was doing, he continued slamming into me, and I was left to the mercy of the feeling focusing in my lower body, contracting, and ejecting the white liquid into the water as I let out rasped breaths. While I was still riding it out, Hisoka came inside of me and elongated the experience for me. He continued his strained groans until he was completely done and had filled me up.

He leant his upper body on top of me after this, and pulled out. Licking along my neck, he spoke up again when he reached my ear.

'I think Usa-chan got a good show, don't you think?' Slowly coming back to my senses, I remembered and noticed the pink stuffed bunny in front of me. He didn't step away just yet though. 'Well seeing as my head's still attached, I take it you're more relaxed now?' I closed my eyes a second, and collected my normal demeanor again.

'That is over now, please remove yourself from me.' It's better not to have this man attached to me for longer than is needed. All he did in response was letting out a low laugh though, and he got my nails against his skin when his hand reached for my inner thigh again.

'But what if I say there was nothing on Usa-chan that made you more sensitive?' For his own safety, he made sure he was far away a fraction of a second after his words.

'I will not entertain that thought.' I could feel his amusement without looking at him, and heard him stepping out of the water. A moment later, he already had his nen attached to the toy and they both walked back inside. I blinked a couple of times at the entrance, and started wondering if something as strange as just now had actually happened.