Do you catch your breath, when I look at you?
Sam sat alone in her room on that Saturday evening in June, after having one of the toughest days yet. That day, she had been diagnosed with leukaemia, and the doctors had told her she only had about a year to live. The rain seemed to fall a bit harder that day, and words hurt more than ever. On the way home, Sam made a list of things she wanted to do before she passed away, and number one on her list was to make sure she saw her best friends again. They had left exactly a year ago to this day, to tour all around the US, and since then had become the hottest thing on the planet. She picked up her cell and called the one person in the world she trusted the most, and the boy she happened to have had a crush on for so long. She sat up quickly as the familiar voice came to the phone,
"Hey Sam!" Nick said excitedly.
Sam's heart skipped a beat or two there and then, his voice hadn't changed at all, it still spoke soft words into her ear, and still melted her heart.
"Hey
Nicholas, how are you doing?"
"I'm good, what the heck are
you doing calling at 4am?"
Sam couldn't help but laugh, speaking to Nick made all of the pain go away, all her worries disappear and nick made her feel as if she was invincible.
"I called you because well, I missed you. And I figured with your insane schedule that id have a better chance of talking to you now rather than in the morning" Sam spoke softly and quietly into the cell.
Nick sighed,
"Ah, I understand, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Well everything actually. Can I come see you?"
"Actually, you beat me to that one, I was about to come and see you, and I have a surprise."
Sam sat and thought for a minute what the surprise could be.
"Um what is it Nick?"
"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise would it?" Nick said to her softly.
"Good point, so how is the family?"
"Theyre great, we just got done with our last show for a couple of days, and were heading back home if you want to come and hang out tomorrow?"
"That's awesome; of course I'll come and hang out with you guys."
"Oh sorry nick, I have to go. See you tomorrow ok?"
"Sam, wait."
Sam hung up the phone excitedly as she ran to her wardrobe to pick out her outfit for tomorrow; nick was still on the other end of the line
"I love you." Nick sighed into his phone. He then put his phone by his bed, and got some sleep before he could see her again tomorrow.
If only Sam could have heard him say that.
Sam woke up early the next morning, and ran downstairs to eat breakfast. As she reached the bottom of the staircase she noticed an envelope with nicks cursive handwriting on the front.
"Mom what's that?" Sam looked at her mom and then back to the letter.
"It's for you, from the boys I think."
Sam smiled and carefully tore the envelope open, inside was a latter, in Nick's perfect familiar handwriting;
"Sammy,
Hope you like being on tour, because you're coming to stay with us for a couple of months. Have your bags ready for twelve, were coming to get you. We are so sorry for leaving you. We love you.
Nick, Kevin, Joe & Frankie"
"Mom come here right now!!" Sam screamed
Her mother dropped her dishcloth and came running into the room to her daughters side.
"Have you read this?! The Jonas' are coming to get me and were going on tour together, and I'll get to see them everyday mom, how great is that?!"
Her mother laughed and played with her hair;
"I
wondered when they were going to tell you about that."
"YOU
KNEW?!" Sam laughed
"Yes, but I figured I would keep it a secret, your going to have so much fun sweetie. You best go and pack."
"I will do, thank you so much mom, you're the best."
Sam smiled like a kid in a candy store, and couldn't wait to pack her bags. She would never have to miss them again ever, her life was getting so perfect now. She had a quick thought though, that removed her smile.
"Um, mom?" Sam said warily.
"What's wrong sweetie?"
"Do
any of them know about, you know?"
"No sweetie, I haven't
told them anything, I thought that was your job to tell them whenever
you want, you will have to tell them of course."
"Yeah, I
will. When the time is right you know?"
"I understand sweetie, now go pack, they'll be here before you know it and we don't want to hold them up."
Sam smiled at her mom and packed everything she could fit into her suitcase.
Hours passed, and soon enough Sam was done with her packing and was busy curling her long brown hair and fixing her clothes and makeup when she heard the doorbell ring, and three excited boys came running upstairs to greet her.
Joe ran through her room first, screaming her name and hugging her so tight she could barely breathe. But she wasn't complaining.
"Oh my god Joe, I missed you so much. Wow, your so tall now!"
Joe smiled and hugged his best friend tightly with his muscular arms.
"I know it's been SO long, we haven't even imed or anything, im glad your coming to live with us"
Sam smiled, "I know me too, and it's going be amazing."
Kevin came in next, always chilled. He hugged Sam and then went to turn on the TV in her room.
Nick came through last, and was just in awe at the girl standing before his eyes, she looked even more gorgeous than she used to, her hair was flowing down beneath her shoulders, and her clothes looked so good on her. He was speechless, and just kept smiling at her.
"Nicholas are you okay?" Sam giggled
"Sorry, you just look really pretty" damn, nick thought to himself, why had he just said that. Joe and Kevin rolled their eyes and laughed at their brother.
Sam glowed, "Thanks, I missed you so much, am I not getting a hug? What have you gotten all shy over the last year?"
Nick
laughed,
"Of course not" he said as he moved towards the girl
he wanted to give his entire heart to. They hugged for a long time,
not letting go and sparks ran between the two teenager's bodies.
They hung out in Sam's room just like the old times; meanwhile Mr. and Mrs. Jonas sat downstairs laughing with Sam's mother over endless cups of coffee. Hours flew by and soon it was time to leave for Sam's new life.
"Are you all ready to leave?" Mr Jonas shouted up the stairs
"Yeah were coming dad" Kevin shouted.
"Are you guys all ready to go?" Joe suddenly said
"I think so; could you guys help me carry my bags to the bus?" Sam said sweetly
Nick was first to jump in,
"Of course! Which ones shall I get for you?"
Sam handed him two big bags, which had all of her stuff in.
"Thank you so much"
"Your welcome" nick smiled as he looked at her beautiful eyes.
"Ill get these two and then you get that one Joe, and then were pretty much ready to go" Kevin ordered.
Sam
couldn't help but giggle,
"your still the boss hey Kevin"
she laughed
"Well, you know me Sam!"
"mhmmm"
Sam struggled with her belongings and almost fell head first down the stairs, she felt an arm wrap around her waist and she turned around.
"You ok?" Nick said softly to her.
"Yeah, thanks for catching me."
After saying some tough goodbyes to her mom, Sam and the Jonas boys headed off on their bus into the cold misty air. Mrs Jonas was waiting for them when they arrived on the bus, with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. All of the family sat down and ate, and when they had done Denise showed Sam to her bunk, and Sam loaded all of her stuff onto it. As she lay her bag down on the bunk, she felt two little arms wrap around her waist, it was Frankie, who had just woke up from having a nap and was excited as always to see her.
"HI FRANK!!" Sam picked Frankie up and messed up his hair
"Hey
Sammy! Your livings with us now aren't you?" Frank smiled, he
knew he would have lots of fun with Sam, she always looked after
Frankie when his brothers teased him
"I am sweetie! Wow you're
getting big" she giggled.
Frank then ran off to challenge Joe to another game on the Xbox.
Nick came over to Sam and helped her unload all of her stuff.
"So how do you like the new home?"
"Its gorgeous, it's a lot bigger than I thought it would be actually!"
"I know its amazing, listen; do you want to go for a walk later on?"
"What
you mean with Joe and Kevin?"
"Well no, I was thinking it
could be just the two of us actually."
Sam's face widened with her huge smile
"Oh, yeah no problem that sounds like fun"
"Okay, I just thought we could catch up on things you know?"
"Yeah" And with that Sam had a smile painted on her face that she couldn't wipe off.
Sam hung out with the Jonas family for a while whilst they watched a movie, she kept trying and trying to become lost in the movie and remove the worry of telling the Jonas' about her illness, but no matter how much she tried, she just couldn't. At the end of the movie she got up and then sneakily she ran off to the bathroom to take her first dose of medication. She was in there a while and the boys were starting to get suspicious.
"Sam, are you okay in there? You haven't fallen in have you?" Joe shouted to her, laughing
"No, im fine, ill be out in a minute" Sam tried to sound as calm as possible.
Sam rushed to take her medication and came out of the bathroom trying to hide it. She put it all under her pillow but as the bus pulled around the corner; her medication dropped to the floor and spilled everywhere. Kevin noticed and walked over to see what was going on.
"Sam, what are all these pills"
"It's nothing. I can't tell you."
"Why not? You can tell us anything Sam you know that."
"I know but"
"But what?!"
They both stood in silence, looking at each other, then looking away, not knowing what to say to one another.
"Okay, I'll tell you" Sam took a minute to breathe, and to try and find the words to tell one of her oldest and best friends about her illness.
"I, I got diagnosed with leukaemia a couple of days ago. I didn't know how to tell you, I was going to tell you all at the right time but, I guess you beat me to it. I haven't got long left Kevin, and im scared."
Kevin stood beside Sam, and pulled her in for a hug, he didn't want to lose her, and a sickly feeling grew inside his stomach.
"Please don't tell anyone Kevin, you have to promise, I need to tell you all when you're all together, please just keep quiet like you don't know."
Sam was making him keep such a hard promise, when all he wanted to do was help, but Sam was so close to him, like family, so he agreed to stay quiet until she told the rest of the family.
"Okay I will Sammy, but you need to tell them soon or its just going to get even more complicated"
Sam sighed, "I know."
It was complicated, but she and the Jonas family were close, nothing could break them apart, so it shouldn't be too scary right?
After endless games of guitar hero with the boys, the bus pulled up in their new hometown, California. Sam peeped out of the window and found that the sun was shining extra bright, more than she had ever seen it shine before in her life. It was beautiful and the people around looked as if they hadn't got a care in the world. Nick grabbed Sam's hand, and the moment they touched, sparks filled their hands.
"Sam and I are just going for a walk mom; we'll be back in a few hours"
Before Mrs Jonas could even respond, Nick dragged Sam out of the bus and into the street. The two both walked hand in hand like they used to when they were little, for what seemed like miles, but it didn't even matter, because they were together.
"Where are we going nick?" Sam questioned into the silence
"Just for a walk, I missed you"
Sam turned her head to look at Nick, his face was so beautiful, and his eyes beamed at her. Those words meant so much to her, and it made every worry go away just by being with him. She was going to tell him, I mean she had to.
"I missed you too. I have to tell you something Nick."
"You can tell me later, were here" nick smiled.
They walked hand in hand through gigantic black gates, which led to a gorgeous forest. It was like something you would see in a movie, each of the trees had gorgeous bright green leaves, and animals were to be seen everywhere you looked.
"Wow." Sam said, searching for words
"I know, I came here a couple of months back, and I just had to show you"
"Well im glad you did"
Sam walked ahead and picked some leaves off the ground and playfully threw them at nick. Nick laughed and ran to get her; he wrapped his arms around her and spun her round before putting her down on the floor. Then, Nick sat on the ground beside her, looking exhausted. Sam stared all around her for a minute, and then her eyes locked with Nicks. She lay her head on his shoulder, and felt as safe as she ever had in her life. It felt just like it did when they say in Nicks backyard, playing all kinds of made up games, and they didn't have to worry about anything else in the world apart from having fun together. She and Nick sat and talked for hours, generally just catching up, talking about the future, and their dreams. Time was ticking away with them, and before they knew it, it was already dark.
"Oh my god its 9:30 Sam."
Sam smiled, "time flies when you're having fun. Come on we should go"
Sam got up and helped Nick off the ground. Their eyes locked with one another, and they slowly walked side by side smiling on the way home. Soon enough, the bus was in sight, but Nick shot out in front of Sam and held her shoulders.
Sam laughed, "Nick what are you doing were nearly home?"
"I need to ask you something."
Sam looked around and had no idea what to say to him.
"What?" Sam just smiled.
Nick sighed, "Will you go out with me?"
Sam was shocked, it was a mixture of good and bad shock, for so long she had wanted to hear those words coming out of Nick's mouth, and for so long Nick had wanted to ask her those words, but now that they had been said, she wasn't sure if it was what she wanted. She wanted to be with Nick more than anything in the entire world, but she never wanted to leave him behind.
Sam paused for a few minutes, too many thoughts rushing through her body. Eventually she coughed and said yes, and with that, Nick wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lightly for the very first time. Sam's body shivered and having Nick that close felt amazing. Then they headed back to the bus, and Sam couldn't stop smiling. That night as she tossed and turned trying to get to sleep, she started to feel scared, and wondered what the heck she had gotten herself into. She would tell Nick, tomorrow. She had to do it before it was all too late.
Sam
woke up before everyone the following morning, she wasn't feeling
too good, and had thrown up a couple of times. She made sure she was
extra quiet moving around the bus though; she didn't want to wake
anybody. She got herself up and dressed as normal and put some makeup
on to hide her pale face. She tiptoed past Nick, and gave him a kiss
on the cheek. Then she got into his bunk and lay next to her
boyfriend, he woke up for a minute and let her in, smiling. She
cuddled with him for a while; he looked beautiful, even when he was
asleep. His flawless skin glowed, and his curls still lay perfect on
his pillow. Nick woke up a little while later and kissed Sam softly.
"Morning baby" Nick whispered to her
Sam's heart raced.
"Morning, I was up early so I thought id come and keep you company"
Nick grinned at his gorgeous girlfriend and just lay there in the comfortable silence for a while.
"We have a show tonight, do you want to sit front row or watch from backstage? It's up to you babe"
Sam
smiled and an excited feeling grew inside her, she loved to see them
perform, so that made her day.
"Ill sit front row, I love
watching you"
"Okay no problem. You know, every song I sing tonight, the words will actually mean more than they ever have. Im singing every song for you."
The two stared at each other for a while just smiling, and then Nick grabbed his girlfriends hand and squeezed it.
"Im gonna go get a shower, ill be back in a while okay?"
"Okay no problem" Sam put on a brave face, and opened the door of the tour bus and stepped outside. The cold air wrapped itself around her neck, and Sam found this somewhat comforting. She stood alone, waiting & wondering.
Sam had seemed to be outside forever, and her daydream got cut short when Nick rushed out to find her. As she heard his footsteps behind her, she tried so hard to catch her breath, and as he intertwined his hands with hers, the feeling was incredible.
"Come on get dressed baby we have to go check out the stage, and I want you to come with us"
Smiling, Sam nodded. She was so happy that Nick had invited her to do all of the stuff with his brothers, and she loved being backstage.
"Okay will do, im not sure if I have the perfect 'checking out stages' outfit, but ill do my best" Sam giggled and kissed her gorgeous boyfriend lightly. When they got to the venue, the Jonas family were greeted with paparazzi, Nick got out of the car first, and then he let Sam out, their hands met yet again, and the paparazzi got some amazing shots of them together, Sam felt so intimidated by all of the cameras, and was scared because nobody knew about them dating yet. Nick didn't care who knew about him and Sam, he could tell that they had something special, and he wanted to show that to the rest of the world. As she held onto her boyfriend, the paparazzi didn't seem that scary at all. Nothing felt scary when she was with Nick.
Nick opened the doors to the stage, and let Sam go through before him, her eyes widened and her mouth dropped;
"OH MY GOSH, THAT STAGE PONES." Sam ran up to the stage excitedly, as her boyfriend watched her laughing.
"It's a stage Sam, but yeah it is cool"
Sam pushed Nick playfully,
"Umm jerk?!" Sam laughed and jumped onto Nicks back, and Nick twirled her around the stage. They were soon interrupted by Joe and Kevin.
"I know you two lovebirds just love being together, but do you think we could borrow Nicholas for a while, he has to go to school" Kevin joked.
Sam made a sad face, and jumped off her boyfriends back.
"Well I think you can have him just for a little while" Sam said smiling, and she hugged her boyfriend as he went off.
One hour, one hour till the opening night of the boys' sold out tour. Sam was nervous FOR them, but she had no reason to be, she knew they would rock it.
She sat next to nick, drinking red bull with him and his brothers, getting pumped about tonight. Joe was doing push ups, telling everyone about his dream last night about his pants suddenly disappearing when he got on stage, Sam was in fits of laughter, she was getting convincing at pretending to be okay.
"I'm so excited for you to watch us Sammy" Nick said softly to her,
"I know Im so pumped for it, but we need to talk after your done okay?" Sam quickly said, quiet enough for the rest of the Jonas family not to hear, but loud enough to send Nicks heart into a beating frenzy.
Nick looked at his girlfriend worried; he grabbed her hand even tighter than he had before.
"Why? What's wrong? Sam your not breaking up with me are you? I mean..."
Sam cut in and lay her head against Nick's chest
"No, of course im not. Don't be silly. I just need to tell you something that's all, don't worry baby." She had told him not to worry, but telling him that made Nick worry even more.
She hugged Nick so tight, and Nick held her close to him. Neither of them wanted to let go of each other.
"I love you Sam" Nick whispered into her ear
Sam smiled and looked at him in the eyes,
"I love you too Nick, you're amazing"
They both kissed each other, and the same old sparks still filled their bodies.
The couples kiss was soon distracted by Joe spraying them with his new water gun.
"JOE!! OH IM SO GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS!" Sam screamed and ran to tackle Joe, who kid behind Kevin.
Nick picked up the water gun and started spraying Sam while Kevin held her arms so she couldn't get away.
"UGH IM NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN! LOOK AT MY HAIR OH MY GOD" Sam said, trying to act serious but she couldn't help but laugh. Okay fine, MAYBE I'll talk to you" Sam giggled and Nick stroked her hair
"You still look beautiful"
Sam stared at Nick for a while, standing close enough to feel his heartbeat.
"Great show boys, im so proud of you" Mrs Jonas said to her sons, as she hugged each of them. All three boys were exhausted, and had gotten such an adrenalin rush from the performance.
Sam was waiting beside her, ready to hug them all.
"You guys were seriously incredible." Sam hugged each Jonas and then lay on the couch with Nick for a while, as he cooled down. Soon after, all the Jonas' family stuff was packed onto the bus, and they rolled out of the venue to their next destination. Nick and Sam sat at the back of the bus, in the lounge alone together.
Sam couldn't take her eyes off of her boyfriend, who was wearing a sleeveless white shirt and his black skinnies. Nick couldn't take his eyes of Sam either, who was wearing a white dress with her brown hair straight and her bangs resting on her face.
"So what was this thing you wanted to tell me?" Nick questioned.
This sent chills all over Sam's body, she was hoping he had forgot, but was kind of glad he had brought it back up, so she could get it out of her system finally.
"Okay, will you come and sit beside me? I'm not sure how your going to take this, so can you do something before I tell you?" Nick got up and sat next to his girlfriend sending warmth to her cold shoulders.
"Sure, you know I'd do anything for you Sam."
"Kiss me"
Sam wrapped her arms around Nick and kissed him softly, and then cuddled up close ready to tell him her secret.
"Okay here we go. Nick, im sick. Like really sick, and I don't know...." Before she could carry on, she was cut off by Nick's worried voice.
"NO! YOU CAN'T BE, YOU'RE AMAZING YOU'RE PERFECT..." Nick wanted to erase those last words from his memory; he couldn't believe he was hearing this.
Sam looked at him with tears in her eyes, she didn't want to cry in front of him, but she was about to crack.
"No nick, I have leukaemia, and I have about a year, or less to live."
"Im sorry." Sam said.
Then, she got up from the couch with tears running all down her face, and she ran, ran to her bunk and buried herself under her covers. Nick didn't follow her, he was still trying to take all of this in, how could he lose his best friend, his girlfriend that he was madly in love with? He sat in the silence for a while, and got up to go and see her. She was still in her bunk, so Nick crept into her bunk beside her, and wrapped his arms around her. None of them said anything, they didn't quite know what to say to each other, but having each other there was comfort, comfort from this terrible thing that had just happened to them.
Sam couldn't even make herself look at Nick; she closed her eyes and listened to him breathing softly next to her. They were both as scared as each other, they didn't want to say goodbye, ever. After laying with each other for what seemed like eternity, nick got up and looked at her.
"Do you want to go for a walk?"
Sam shook her head and turned away from him. Nicks heart felt like it was being ripped up into a million tiny pieces, why did this all have to happen?
"Well, I...."
"Just leave nick, I don't want to see you" Sam's words hit Nick like ten daggers.
"Sam im not leaving you, I love you" Sam couldn't hold it in, and she cried so much that her eyes turned red. She loved Nick too, she really did, but she was upset and scared, and said things she didn't mean. Nick didn't want to leave her alone so he grabbed her hand and led her outside, again not saying anything he sat on the ground next to her and waited until she wanted to talk. Sam stared into the distance for a while, and then caught Nick's eye.
"I didn't mean what I said before you know, I, I didn't mean to..."
"No baby its okay, you don't have to apologise, I understand." Sam didn't know why she had been so lucky to find nick, he was trying to understand what she was going through, he really was. And he would always be there for her no matter what, and she knew it.
"So when did you find out, you know?" Nick questioned Sam unexpectedly
"The day I called you at 4am"
"Really? Wow."
"Yup. I didn't know how to tell you, and I didn't want to tell you over the phone, that's why I waited until I was with you."
"Yeah. Does my mom know?
Sam shook her head.
"Im going to tell her, everyone actually. They need to know Nick"
"Yeah, ill tell them if you don't want to do it yourself"
"No no it's fine, I can handle it Nick, and you know I can."
Nick reached out for Sam, and Sam cuddled close to him. Sam looked ahead and saw someone in the bush nearby, it was the paparazzi again. She turned her face away and buried it in Nicks chest, all of Nicks emotions bottled up inside of him
"CAN YOU JUST LEAVE US ALONE; CAN'T YOU SEE YOUR SCARING HER? SHES SICK FOR GODS SAKE JUST GIVE US A BREAK"
"Nick, its fine, lets go" Sam whispered.
"NO SAM IT'S NOT FINE, WERE PEOPLE NOT FREAKIN ANIMALS."
Sam got up on her feet and pulled Nick inside the bus with her. Nick got inside and punched the table hard with his fist, making Sam jump.
"Baby what's wrong?" Sam was worried, he wasn't ever like this.
"WHATS WRONG SAM?! ILL TELL YOU WHATS WRONG. AS IF ITS NOT ENOUGH FINDING OUT THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS GOING TO DIE, I HAVE TO DEATH WITH LOSERS LIKE THAT CREEPING INTO MY PERSONAL LIFE"
Sam
hugged Nick tight and didn't let go.
"Nick don't raise your
voice like that, im sorry"
"WHY ARE YOU SORRY?!"
"Because I'm going to die" Sam started crying again and walked away to sit with Mrs. Jonas, leaving Nick stood helplessly alone.
"Hey sweetie, how are you?" Mrs Jonas looked at Sam and smiled, and as she looked up, Sam's face told a thousand stories of pain. She looked dreadful, tears running down her face and her face pale.
"I have to tell you something"
Mrs Jonas smiled sympathetically at the girl standing in front of her and sat her down next to her.
"Go on sweetie, what's wrong?"
"I'm sick. Like really sick. I have leukaemia and I've only just told nick and now he's upset and mad and I feel so bad and im scared."
Mrs Jonas was lost for words, she couldn't find any words to say, this all came at such a random time, she hugged Sam and tried to hold back tears of her own, she loved Sam like the daughter she never had, and she knew how much the whole family would miss her.
"Nicholas isn't mad at you sweetie, I'll bet he's just as upset and scared as you are, if not more. You don't realise how much he cares about you Sam; how he always has."
"But I just feel so bad, if I hadn't got this stupid illness this would never have happened and I never want to make him sad."
"Shhh, I know I know sweetie. But these things happen, its not your fault."
Sam smiled slightly at the woman she looked up to, she was amazing, and she didn't know how she was so wise and strong.
"Thanks for letting me get all of this out Denise; you're always there for me."
"No problem Sam, you know im always here"
Sam & Nick's mother hugged and then Sam went away for a while, to get lost in a book, or watch some TV, or just anything to get her away from all of this mess.
She passed nick on her way, he was still stood in the same spot, with the angry expression on his face. His eyes looked bloodshot and he looked as though he had been crying. Sam knew he wouldn't tell her he had been crying, but she didn't need telling that her boyfriend was hurt. She walked up to him and hugged him. None of them said anything, and Nick didn't even look at her or hug back, he just stood there. Sam felt awkward, and went to walk away. Nick turned around and grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Wait."
"Oh, he speaks."
Nick pulled his girlfriend close to him and kissed her on the head,
"Were going to be alright you know Sam, I promise."
Promises were hard to keep, especially when hearts were on the line. But somewhere deep inside of her, Sam believed him. Nick would only make her stronger.
"Hey sweetie, how are you?" Mrs Jonas looked at Sam and smiled, and as she looked up, Sam's face told a thousand stories of pain. She looked dreadful, tears running down her thin pale face..
"I have to tell you something"
Mrs Jonas smiled sympathetically at the girl standing in front of her and sat her down next to her.
"Go on sweetie, what's wrong?"
"I'm sick. Like really sick. I have leukaemia and I've only just told nick and now he's upset and mad and I feel so bad and im scared."
Mrs Jonas was lost for words, she couldn't find any words to say, this all came at such a random time, she hugged Sam and tried to hold back tears of her own, she loved Sam like the daughter she never had, and she knew how much the whole family would miss her.
"Nicholas isn't mad at you sweetie, I'll bet he's just as upset and scared as you are, if not more. You don't realise how much he cares about you Sam; how he always has."
"But I just feel so bad, if I hadn't got this stupid illness this would never have happened and I never want to make him sad."
"Shhh, I know I know sweetie. But these things happen, its not your fault."
Sam smiled slightly at the woman she admired and aspired to be just like, she was amazing, and she didn't know how she was so wise and strong.
"Thanks for letting me get all of this out Denise; you're always there for me."
"No problem Sam, you know im always here"
Sam & denise hugged and then Sam went away for a while, to get lost in a book, or watch some TV, or just anything to get her away from all of this mess.
She passed nick on her way, he was still stood in the same spot, with the angry expression on his face. His eyes looked bloodshot and he looked as though he had been crying. Sam knew he wouldn't tell her he had been crying, but she didn't need telling that her boyfriend was hurt. She walked up to him and hugged him. None of them said anything, and Nick didn't even look at her or hug back, he just stood there. Sam felt awkward, and went to walk away. Nick turned around and grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Wait."
"Oh, he speaks."
Nick pulled his girlfriend close to him and kissed her on the head,
"Were going to be alright you know Sam, I promise."
Promises were hard to keep, especially when hearts were on the line. But somewhere deep inside of her, Sam believed him. Nick would only make her stronger.
I've finally learned to say, whatever will be, will be.
Sam woke up the next morning and actually smiled, a real smile for the first time in a while. It was the first actual sincere smile in a long time, she didn't have to pretend she was ok, she actually felt ok. She didn't know why, but she felt a lot more positive about going through all of this now that everything was out in the open. She met all of the other Jonas' at the breakfast table and she sat down, still smiling. Nick looked at her and stared into her eyes.
"What?" Sam giggled
"Nothing, I just haven't seen you smile like that in a long time, and I missed it"
Sam kissed her boyfriend lightly and turned around as she heard little footsteps coming into the room. It was obviously Frankie, who had come to show them his new sneakers.
"LOOK LOOK SAM!"
Sam
walked over to the excited little boy and ruffled his hair.
"You
look very handsome Frank, your going to get a ton of chicks with
them"
Nick
couldn't help but laugh.
"He's already got two girlfriends
isn't that right Frankie"
"Yup"
"PIMP" Sam laughed at her own remark.
"Nick. I have a hospital appointment today. Do you mind if I miss sound check?"
"Its okay ill go with you"
"No, I don't want you to. And besides, your not missing sound check, everybody needs you there."
She
didn't want nick to see her going through her treatment, and she
also didn't want to be the reason that Nick wasn't prepared for
his show tonight.
"Sam but I..."
"Nick; its fine. Trust me." She smiled sweetly at Nick and he knew she would be alright, but he wanted to be with her all the same.
Dinner came and went, and Sam was getting ready in the bathroom for her hospital appointment. She was wearing a white fitted v neck t-shirt and her sweats, but to Nick she still looked like the most beautiful girl in the entire world.
"Okay baby im going now, I'll see you when I get back, have a good sound check and show, and I'll be back before you know it okay?" Sam put on a smile but didn't really want to leave him.
Nick hugged her so tight and smelled her hair.
"Okay, take care of yourself ok? If anyone bothers you or you want picking up just call any of us okay?"
Sam laughed and locked eyes with nick.
"Nick, im going to the hospital; not a prison. Everything will be fine."
Sam spoke those words so clearly and truthfully, but Nick was always scared that everything wouldn't be fine, and he would be left to pick up the pieces.
Sam hugged each of the Jonas family, and they all wished her luck; and wished they were going with her for support.
"Bye frank, ill see you later ok?" Sam bent down to Frankie's level and hugged him tightly.
"But Sammy, where are you going?" He questioned so innocently.
Sam's heart broke a little bit, and she coughed to clear her throat.
"Im going to get some treatment so that I can get better and play more games of Xbox with you ok?"
Frankie looked puzzled for a moment then smiled
"Ok Sam, ill be practicing my hardest so I can try and beat you"
"Bye guys"
Sam waved at everyone and got into her cab, fighting back the tears. She wished Frankie understand how serious this was, and why she had to leave. She wished he didn't think it was all a game and that everything would be games and endless supplies of candy. But this was real life, Sam's life. And it wasn't a fairytale anymore.
