Author's Note: Hello!* waves crazily* I missed you guys SO MUCH I just had to write you a steamy, fluffy little something so we could have a visit. This one is on a theme that's been much on my mind lately, and it's set loosely in one of those rare moments on the show when everything's perfect for Damon (they usually only take place in between episodes). All mistakes are my own because my superlatively awesome beta, Goldnox, is WAY too busy with writing contests, query letters, publishing contracts, and endless, endless editing for me to ask a single other thing of her right now.
Cruel World
I squint out the French doors of my bedroom, the glass a thin shield against sun-mottled leaves and a cacophony of late-spring birdsong.
I fucking hate birds. They're way too cheery and way too fucking repetitive, and no matter how many of the little bastards you squish, there are ten more just out of reach. But that's not what has the blood and whiskey churning way down in the lightless basement of my stomach.
I shift my grip on my highball glass and focus on the shadows between the trees behind the house, checking again to be sure they're harmlessly empty.
"Penny for your thoughts…" The smooth curve of Elena's cheek whispers against the column of my neck, her chin resting on my shoulder as slender arms come around my waist.
"Just trying to remember if I buried the waitress I ate last Tuesday."
She snorts. "Yeah, right. You're waiting for the meteor to strike."
"Meteor?" I stiffen, yanking my phone out of my pocket. I have an app that warns of upcoming astrological events because in Mystic Falls, witches, bitches and things that go bump in the night all go wild as soon as there's the slightest blip with the bright and sparklies up above.
No notifications.
I push my phone back in my pocket, ignoring the vibration of Elena's breasts against my back as she swallows down a giggle at my reaction.
"See? You always get twitchy when things are going too well. Since your brother is safe, your best friend is alive, and we're not in a fight, I figured I'd find you up here sharpening your stakes." She gives me a little squeeze around the waist. "You're like a mom side-eyeing the playroom door because her kid is being too quiet."
I take a sip of whiskey, irritated because she's right, and also because she has no appreciation for my very accurate memory. When things are quiet around here, we have between one minute and three months before some evil immortal with a fondness for arrogant puns shows up with a magical artifact, a pocketful of witches and a death wish. That's not paranoia, that's math.
I could deflect her worry, but Elena never falls for that crap anymore, which is one of the only reasons I miss the younger, shoutier version of her I first met. Instead, I tip my head just a hair to the side, which—bullseye—coaxes her lips right into the hollow beneath my ear. My dick flexes its approval. Preparing for the inevitable is one thing, but after you've stocked weapons in every room and double stashes of vervain by all the doors, you might as well enjoy the eye of the storm while it lasts.
"You know, instead of making unflattering maternal comparisons, you could give me something more interesting than bad guys to think about."
She sighs, the sweet curve of her breasts compressing against my back and then relaxing softly as she releases the breath. "I'd love to, but I've got to go help Caroline set up for Liz's surprise party. She's bound and determined that her mom won't work through her birthday this year."
Of fucking course she can't stay.
"Now there's the cruel world I'm used to…" I turn to kiss her goodbye and oh fuck. She's wearing that pastor's-daughter-pink lip gloss. The same color she left a smudge of on my cock last week. That stuff takes all the blood straight to my crotch faster than the Catholic schoolgirl uniform she has stashed in my closet for special occasions. "Change of plans."
I frame her face in my hands, using one thumb to nudge a silky strand of her hair away from her lips before I bend to tease a breath across them.
Elena swallows.
I take a tiny step closer, letting my jeans brush the front of her skirt in a tease that has her hips curling automatically, seeking the swell of the erection that she knows will be waiting for her. I clamp my teeth down against the sign of relief at the slight friction I get out of the move before she remembers herself and straightens up. "Damon, we can't right now, I have to…"
My tongue traces her bottom lip. Most lip gloss tastes waxy or oily but this particular kind tastes light and sweet, like white spring cherries and the promise of this afternoon getting a fuck of a lot better.
Her breath comes out in a rush and I kiss her, my fingers stealing down into the waistband of her skirt so that she doesn't even notice when I start walking her backwards. When her thighs hit the bed, she's already on her back before her fingers tighten on my shoulders and she gasps, "Crap. Damon, we've got to stop. Caroline will—"
"You know what Caroline loves?" Lace rasps over my knuckles as my fingers steal inside Elena's panties, her cool skin a reward against my palm for every inch of her I bare.
"Ung…" Elena mutters.
"To be right." The panties are halfway down her thighs now and I don't give a shit about birds, or Caroline, or the nagging fact that every time I'm this happy, somebody lights something on fire. "So if you're late to her party decorating committee, she'll be so happy because it'll give her the perfect opening to rant about how I am a selfish, sex crazed jerk." I tug Elena's panties down over the bump of her strappy, high-heeled sandals. Those, she can keep on. Dropping to one knee beside the bed, I lay a reverent kiss on her knee, and then nuzzle her skirt up her thigh with a line of kisses, one after the other proving Caroline absolutely right about me. "And you can agree with her and say it was all my fault. Everybody's happy." I lift my head long enough to give her a wolfish grin. "And you say I don't know how to compromise."
Elena blinks soft brown eyes at me and my cock kicks against the rough denim holding it back. I drop my head and nip at her creamy thigh, riding her skirt up dangerously high.
"Oh God," she moans, legs tightening under my hands. "If I let you do that, I'll miss Liz's whole birthday party, not just the setup."
I use my lips to trace the line where her panties used to be, Elena's quiet whimper lending at least three bullet points to my silent argument against leaving this bed. "Liz is going to have lots of birthdays," I murmur.
Elena's hands fist in my hair with a sharp tug of delicious pain that tells me I've won this round as she brings my mouth to exactly where she wants it.
She got drunk enough once to tell me that my tongue was always the same, no matter what I was doing with it: clever, quick, and always knowing way more than it should. I proceed to prove her point, my head under her skirt and not a single clock in the bedroom to bring her back to earth as her lateness stretches to a quarter past one, two, then three orgasms.
Even as her tiny gasps begin to blur my thoughts, I'm not so stupid that I don't know what my girl is doing. She's letting me seduce her so I won't think about how uneasily lucky I've been lately. About the fact that I'm a vampire whose outlived way more than his nine lives and sinned enough for twice that number and change.
About the fact that no matter how hard I fought to earn my place in that blessed spot clasped between her hands and her body, I will never feel like I deserve it. I will always be watching my back, waiting for the dream to dissolve and the punchline to be revealed.
Men like me don't get lives like this.
But then Elena's clenching thighs loosen around my shoulders and she yanks me up, my shoulder blades hitting the bed with a bounce as her delicate fingers shred the button on my jeans.
"Stop it," she growls.
I fucking love watching when her cocoa eyes are dilated with near-violent arousal. "Come again?" I cup one hand behind my ear. "Because my super hearing tells me that that is definitely not what she said."
She crinkles her nose and sticks out her tongue at me, but then one palm comes up to caress the stubble on my cheek, left over from her stealing my razor out of my hand this morning. "I can hear you worrying," she whispers. She swings one leg over my lap, straddling me as my hips rise instinctively toward the taunting heat of her, my erection caged by the demon grip of denim. Elena cocks her head. "Do you seriously think I never wonder about how I got so lucky?"
I blink, caught off guard by the change in topic.
"To have survived everything I have, and to still have friends and family in my life who care, despite everything I've done?" There's a tiny catch in her voice but it doesn't slow her hands as she unbuttons my shirt, careful with the dark blue garment because she's extra fond of this one for some reason. "To have found you, who is already in love with the newest version of me before I've even realized that I have changed?"
Her palms smooth distractingly across the plane of my chest, my heart thundering up against her hand.
I manage a smirk, rolling my hips beneath her to remind her of what else she needs to unwrap. "Ahh, you always start making gratitude speeches when I bring out all seven inches of your personal good luck charm."
She catches her breath at the increase in sensation, but then rolls her eyes a second later as she registers my words. She smacks my abs and they flex automatically at the sting. Christ, that feels good. I wonder what I have to say to get her to do it again…
"Maybe you need to stop asking how you got so lucky." She shifts back and drags my zipper down, her hand dipping into my pants. "And just trust that the universe knows exactly what it's doing."
Her grip tightens around me and a groan ripples up my throat, my fangs threatening to erupt. I surge upward, rolling her onto her back and ripping her shirt up off her head in one familiar movement.
"Fuck yes it does," I growl as I drive into her, the eager clasp of her body every answer I care to know.
Her legs clamp around my hips, our movements perfectly matched as we race toward a goal that's as much for each other as it is for ourselves. But even before I hit the brain-wringing bliss of the orgasm bearing down on me, I know I already have everything in the world I have ever wanted.
Author's Note: Awww, I have missed you guys so much! And I wanted to share a little news, about this week, when I had three of the best days EVER!
Day 1: I got an offer of representation from a literary agent for my original fiction trilogy, "Sex, Love and Rock and Roll" which she is (very soon!) going to be pitching to all the major publishing houses.
Day 2: My amazing beta and best friend, Goldnox, won a publishing contract for "Order Up" through Amazon's Kindle Scout program, where readers vote for the books they want to read.
Day 3: I got to see Goldnox and celebrate together! Goldnox and I live very far apart and get to see each other only about once per year, but it just so happened that Mr. Trogdor and I are on a roadtrip looping through most of the continental US, and the day after the best news of our respective writing careers was the day I was going to be in Goldnox's hometown! All the luck!
I couldn't wait to share with all of you because I know that neither Goldnox nor myself ever got serious about a writing career until the support of all you wonderful readers made us believe enough in our work to give it a try. I wouldn't have a single book published today, or an agent, or even the hope of a career if it weren't for the Vampire Diaries and each one of you. And stick around because when my new agent manages to scrounge me up a publisher, I am going to be giving away SO MANY FREE COPIES of my new book to you guys! You can keep up with my news and new books on my website michellehazenbooks dot com or follow me on Twitter at michellehazen.
Thank you all so much for everything and I'd love to hear what you all have been up to this year! Drop me a PM or leave me a review to tell me what's new with you!
UPDATE 12.10.17 - First, Goldnox got a literary agent! Second, my Sex, Love, and Rock & Roll Series is being published! The first book, A CRUEL KIND OF BEAUTIFUL is out now, and I am following up on my promise to give a FREE copy to any of my fanfic readers who wants one. All you have to do is PM me with what kind of file you need (Kindle, reading on Amazon app, iBooks, etc.) and an email address.