Far Away From You…
Chapter One: I Miss You; I Think I Love You…
The ghastly orange light flickered softly, the wood that kept it ablaze crackling and snapping loudly. Pale golden eyes reflected this soft tender light, gazing tiredly at the ever-shifting form of fire. The cinders from the dying areas of the log fell and glowered as brightly as they could, trying to last and live, though they died not too long afterwards, turning into the black iciness of the rest of the ashes littering the brick floors that created the fire place.
A pale hand reached up, and pushed aside the golden blonde hair that framed the gentle, almost delicate looking face, though the expression it held was one of exhaustion, disdainful and surly. Not the usual cheerful look the people here seemed to hold during these snowy holidays. It dropped again, the cold fingers wrapping around the etiolated hot chocolate filled mug, bringing it to the soft red vernal lips. After a quick sip, the cup was taken again, and set down on the red oak wood coffee table beside the plush maroon chair.
Edward Elric turned his eyes away from the fire, casting his gaze away from the hearth, looking to the foggy windows. On the outside windowsills, an inch of snow - more or less - lay in a pile on the wood. Looking beyond it, bare naked trees swayed harrowingly in the night breeze, bits of the milky snow dropping from the branches, plopping onto the rest of the draft.
A few snowmen were placed and scattered about the otherwise ghostly deserted area. As far as he could see, the ground was white, but at the horizon where the sky seemed to meet the terrain, the white seemed to blaze lightly pink and orange, low clouds glowing with the purples and pinks and oranges of the sunset as nightfall settled over the quiet city in Germany.
He pulled the gray quilt-thick wool blanket tighter around his shoulders, the cloth devouring the black fabric of his shirt and the leather of his pants. He drew his knees up to his chest, encircling his legs with his arms, and placed his forehead down on his knees, closing his eyes. Alphonse wasn't here - wouldn't be here - but he couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. This was the longest Alphonse had ever been away from him… It was going on three months now, and as the holidays neared, he seemed to realize how much he really missed the boy…
He hadn't seen him for awhile now. And the last time he had seen him, he seemed so excited to go and see America, promising he'd write a letter to him every week to keep him posted on all the current events in the area, and how he was doing, even reassuring to try and translate some things for him, to try and teach him a little English.
But those stopped after the first month. He'd enjoyed getting them, to hear about the odd traditions of Americans, of their lives and how it was different than the way they Germans had gone about living their lives for the sixteen or so years now… The foods they ate, their traditions, their everyday way of living fascinated him - and it had always made him feel better to know that his little brother was doing okay, and learning new things.
But now the letters didn't come.
In his last, Al had informed him that he might not write for awhile, that weekly letters were getting hard to keep up with…
And even then, Ed didn't think he'd not receive a letter for two months…
He sat up again, and looked to the burning flames again, sighing. How quiet it seemed on this night… He was about ready to just turn in for the night, but he didn't feel like getting up at that moment, nor did he really feel all that tired just yet. So he just sat there, wallowing in his thoughts for awhile.
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About two hours passed before the fire finally died down to gently smoldering cinders in the fireplace. The blonde was shivering in the darkness of the room, though he was unaware of this as he watched a few deer nuzzling their snouts into the snow to catch the last sprigs of grass before winter gave out its full effect. His mind, of course, was running a blank as time moved on around him.
He finally became aware of the chill, and slowly got up from the chair, gazing at the wood floors of the den. He remembered when Winry had been there for a visit, and she and Al had been running up and down the halls, slipping along the floors in their socks, having quite the grand old time while he complained about how childish they were acting; now the thought brought the hint of a smile to the corners of his mouth.
He slowly made his way past all the furniture after grabbing the cup off the table - the chair, table, another chair of the same, and a loveseat that Winry had given them that fit snuggly into the den. He treaded his way into the kitchen, and placed the china into the sink, and turned on the faucet, letting the cool water run over the dish. He watched it for a few moments, then turned it off, and pulled the blanket tightly around his short frame, and headed out of the kitchen to the hallway, towards his room.
He slipped into the dark territory, his eyes scanning the area. His surveillance ended at his bed, smothered in darkness. Inviting, yet not very much so. The shadows lent it an unwanting look, but the comfortableness of his mattress, the warmth the blankets would provide, the fluffiness of his pillow… He sighed, and moved over, crawling under the main blankets, ignoring the bleakness of the sheets against his bare arms, and snuggled up, yawning tiredly. "…Until the morning," he muttered tiredly to the smoky murkiness, then closed his eyes against the darkness and dozed off in a somewhat troubled sleep for the best of a few hours.
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Grass almost as tall as he himself surrounded the immediate area. Somehow, though, the surrounding field felt comforting and inviting… He smiled to himself. A nice change in scenery from the snowy wonderland of hell where his reality lie before him. But here, it was calm and peaceful, a nice get away. The breeze blew gently, just enough to cause the plants of the landscape to sway.
He slowly walked along, the red robe he'd recently starting wearing again was flowing over the shrubbery behind him. He was careful to try not to step on anything but the grass, his eyes constantly darting around to study the surrounding area. He spotted a small pond that instantly captured his attention. He walked over towards it, gazing into the water at his reflection. He blinked when a second figure appeared over his shoulder… Alphonse…?
He turned around, finding his brother standing behind him, smiling cheerily. His hazel-gray eyes were closed, his smile revealing a few of his white teeth that he somehow took such good care of. He wore much the same outfit as Ed did, an armful of flowers against his chest. He walked over to Ed, and knelt down by the water, laying the flowers in his lap. He spoke not a word, made not a sound as he slowly began pulling the petals from the flowers, placing them just before his crossed legs by the edge of the water. He looked to the older of the two, and motioned towards the flowers, suggesting silently that he help.
He slowly moved beside him, and reached over, taking one of the white flowers, and began to follow his brother's lead without question, pulling the petals and placing them in a small pile. He watched the makeshift-bouquet get smaller until there was nothing left, and their piles of petals were quite a nice size. Alphonse gathered them into one, then took the petals, scattering them over the surface of the water.
They formed slowly, taking up the shape of a heart. Al smiled again, and got up onto his feet, waving. Ed watched as one of the petals slowly drifted away as his younger brother began to walk away… Like the lone petal leaving the bunch; Al leaving Ed… He swallowed, and reached down, taking a few of the petals left on the grass, but they were slowly blown away by the wind.
Watching this, Ed picked a beautiful red rose speckled with icy blue and white drops that bled into the bloody black-red main color. He began to run after Alphonse, who was calmly walking away still, hoping to at least give him the small flower as a token of remembrance until he saw him again. He tried to call out to him, but he couldn't seem to find his voice. He reached towards him, but Al was facing the other way, didn't see him…
He winced as the flower pricked into his skin, drops of his blood dripping to the ground. The grass around him and Alphonse seemed to fade out into darkness, nothing but black. Before he knew it, he was running towards nothing, hardly aware of the tears stinging his eyes. Ahead he could merely see the gentle outline of the youngest Elric walking away.
"A-Alphonse!" he cried, falling to his knees. He clutched the rose, the thorns on the stem still cutting into the soft flesh of his fingers and hand. He swallowed, and watched the form disappear; his tears now running down his cheeks and splashing onto the nothingness with the drips of blood that bled down the rose stem. The sounds echoed with his voice. "…Alphonse…"
He fell forward, but nothing stopped his fall this time. His shoulders trembled, his eyes shut tight as he drifted down through the dark shadows, the sounds still following him.
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He sat up with a start, staring into the darkness of the morning. He blinked, and swallowed roughly, and allowed his eyes to adjust then slowly crawled off the bed, and walked out down the hall, scratching his head. That had been quite the odd dream, he had to admit… Honestly, he didn't care to think about that. He didn't even know what time it was… Sighing, he stepped into the living room, and glanced at the clock. About seven in the morning. Not too bad…
He shrugged, and headed into the kitchen, deciding that he'd just stay up. No point in going back to sleep now, he would probably just wake up within the next hour anyway. His feet drug on the floor as he yawned tiredly, stretching, heading to the kitchen for a drink. His mind boredly wandered away from him as he laid his hand over a glass.
First it was that bastard Führer now… Roy Mustang. He shuddered at the simple thought. He thought things were bad when Roy was the colonel. But now that he was Führer, he was lazier than ever. That and he was always trying to hit on just about everyone, only to be ignored and brushed off. And then he usually used Edward to take his annoyance out on because of this…
The new colonel - Jean Havoc - was awkwardly shy, but at least a lot better than Roy had been. He had his papers done on time, had them ready to be sent to the office when he was supposed to, and best of all, he didn't make Ed get up and do it for him. He simply asked him if he was busy, and if he was, he usually did it himself. Or he just waited until the end of the day to bring the papers all to the front desk.
How had Havoc become the colonel anyway? I thought he hated the position when he covered for Roy, Ed mused thoughtfully, unaware that he'd even began to fill his glass with water. His body was running on the absent part of his brain that was telling him where to go and what to do. He didn't snap out of it until he felt the cold water running over his fingers. He shook his head, and quickly jerked it back, then shut off the water, staring almost curiously down at his glass. He must have been spacing out…
He sighed, and dumped out a little bit of the water, then raised it to his mouth and took a quick drink from it, setting it down on the counter top, slowly walking out of the kitchen. He wasn't interested in a drink right now, and he knew that… Nor was he very hungry yet. He seemed to be a bit dazed, and still a little tired, but not drowsy enough to go to sleep just yet.
Perhaps he'd just go and pay the military offices a visit. It was his day off, but he quickly realized that he hadn't a better thing to do anymore. Alphonse was gone, his kitten was gone, Winry didn't stop by as often, seeing as his missions were extremely cut short so he didn't need auto-mail spruce ups as often, and he couldn't honestly say he had a lot of friends… Now that he thought about it, he led a very boring life, and it seemed almost dependant upon other people…
He pushed this thought aside as he fell onto the loveseat. He rolled onto his stomach, crossing his arms in front of himself on the cushions to support his head, then propped his feet up on the arm of the chair, crossing his bare feet at the ankles. Yes, he thought, this was going to be an extremely boring day if he didn't go down to the military offices. But he wasn't exactly looking forward to hearing even the single mention of Roy's name. It had gotten to a point now where he couldn't even stand to hear the name of his bodyguard - Riza HawkEye. Wherever she was mentioned, he somehow managed to either be brought up in the conversation, or he popped up randomly out of nowhere to catch Ed 'talking about his superiors behind their backs', which drove him absolutely bonkers. Not that anyone else cared.
His thoughts shifted back to Havoc. Saw him sitting there at his desk, filling out the papers Roy always pushed onto someone else, occasionally making small talk with Feury, who had taken his old position. Ed had assumed HawkEye's as he decided he may have Al's body back, but there was no real reason to quit the military now - it gave him something to fill in all the empty gaps of time in his days now.
Of course, he didn't have to whip out a gun on Havoc and tell him to get his ass to work. But he did have to wear that annoying military outfit on his days of work, and he did get to carry a gun around. Not that he used it… He hardly knew his aiming properly. Not that he was very thrilled by the idea of having the weapon - it wasn't all that great.
His thoughts skipped back to the colonel, watching him fill out those papers. …Was he even an alchemist? He'd never seen him use alchemy, now that he thought about it… He shook his head violently, his look golden hair falling into his face. "Why the hell do I keep thinking about Havoc?" he muttered, glaring at the piece of furniture in his immediate line of vision. "…Might as well go down to the office. Might go into chaos the one day I decide to take my break and use it," he muttered. He refused to admit he just cared to go see Havoc, and fill in his day with running some duties for him, and perhaps Feury and anyone else who needed a quick favor. Nor would he admit he just never did have a single thing better than this type of thing to go and do…
He rolled off the couch, catching himself with his hand and knee, and got up off the floor, slowly heading down the hall and into his room. He braided his hair, removed of the black tank top he wore and tossed it onto his bed in a small pile. He worked off the belt - How did I sleep with this on? - and slowly slid his pants off, tossing them onto the top of the heap. As much as he hated having to change into the military's blue uniform, he was just slightly grateful Roy seemed to not care to bother with issuing those mini-skirts and kicking the men right out.
If he had… Well, he didn't even want to try and consider what would happen at the moment… He might ponder that later…
He grabbed a clean black tank top - go figure - and tossed it on, then snatched the blue jacket off the hanger in his open closet. He pulled it on, adjusting it, then began buttoning it up. He straightened it of any wrinkles ad dusted it of any particles, then grabbed his folded pants from hanging over another hanger. He shook them out, and mindlessly tugged those on, his mind blank as he followed this almost usual morning routine. How he dealt with this now, he wasn't sure himself; all he knew was that somehow he kept up with it. That's all he wanted to know, now that he thought about it. Either way, the pants went up over his light blue boxers, and were zipped, and buttoned.
This done, Ed slowly headed off towards the living room, but then seemed to change his mind, and turned to the kitchen again. he picked up his cup once more, taking another drink. He sighed as he lowered it, shifting slightly on his feet. Was he really going to waste his day off going to the office? ...Yeah, because he really didn't have a single other thing to do. ...That felt pathetic.
He took a breath, and let it out slowly, but despite not really wanting to, he headed out after dumping his glass of water into the sink. He boredly grabbed his shoes from the doorway, slipping them on. After he was finally done with everything he possibly could or should do before leaving, he slipped out the door and headed away from the house. The chill that instantly greeted him wasn't exactly a nice welcome, but he decided it was his own idea coming out here so he had nothing to honestly complain about.
And he still wanted to do more than sit around all day. Getting to see the colonel again, hopefully avoid Roy, and be able to help out at the office seemed to be something to do, so he figured it would just have to do for the time being. Besides, he could just simply leave whenever he wanted to, he didn't have to stay and work today... He had to remind himself of that ... and try not to let it slip his mind...
He continued through the cold white snow, the powdery soft substance crunching and packing together beneath his feet. He glanced around at this winter wonderland, the trees; the serenity held fast, which he found quite boring. But he didn't mind too much. Perhaps that was just ... nicer.
After a few minutes of walking, seeing almost no one at all, he finally reached the military's Central Headquarters, and slunk inside, waving kindly to the secretary. She smiled, waving back, and gave a little playful salute and a wink, getting a light smile from the blonde. he headed past her, almost instantly moving to the colonel's office. Only Feury looked up as he entered, and the boy simply closed the door behind himself, smiling at the two occupying the room.
"FullMetal? Don't you have the day off today?" he asked curiously. "I thought R-...The Führer told you that you had the day free..." His pen had halted in place on the paper when he'd looked up, and he was now finishing off his signature. He looked up at the boy in the doorway again. Maybe he was just mistaken, he thought. Ed was in his uniform, and he knew that it was highly disliked by him...
"Ah, yeah, I diii- uhm, do..." he muttered, scratching his head slightly. "I just don't have very much to do at home so I guess I just ... Decided to come here instead and help out if I could..." He shifted slightly, then walked over to Havoc's desk, gazing down at the stack of papers. "...Need any help?"
"...Sure. Just bring this to the front desk then." Havoc produced a small, light blue envelope from the desk and handed it to him, then smiled, waving him away. "...And make sure that it gets to the main office... It's kind of important that the secretary gets that..."
Ed looked at the letter in his hand, then back up at Havoc, and nodded. …Had that been why the secretary had winked at him? Did she knew that Havoc would be sending him there with something…? He shook his head, then slowly moved away from Havoc's desk without a word. He studied the envelope as he walked out of the office and shut the door behind him. He looked back, his footsteps the only sound he could bear to focus on. He slowly brought the letter up in front of him, and slid his hand under the flap of it, noticing it was already unsealed.
He told himself to just keep walking, but his feet stopped, and his hand was already in to pull out the contents and make sure for himself that it wasn't something … like some love confessional. That would just be irritating, having to deal with Havoc flirting with the secretary. But one thing he wasn't sure of now – was it honestly that he'd be annoyed with the flirting, or was it something else…?
He swallowed at the thought, forcing it out of his mind as he slid the paper out. He stared at the folded up white piece of paper, hardly aware that his hand was trembling just slightly. He slipped the envelope between his fingers, and unfolded the paper to find a note. …To him.
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Disclaimer: Characters © Hiromu Arakawa!
Hello there, everyone. :3 Nice to meet all you lovely people. My name is Kitsune. You don't have to call me that, but that doesn't make it any less my name. ;D
Yes, I know. I am a bitch for cutting it off right there, aren't I?! …Ahaha, yeah…Oh well, don't worry. We're going to have a quick peek at what out little Alphonse is up to, then we'll come right back where we left off with our lovely Edo-kun. Exactly. So don't worry, my dears.
If you want to blame anyone for the cliff hanger, it was Kristina! BUT! You have to be nice to her because if it wasn't for her, Ed's dream would have been some horrortastical thing instead of a cute yet sad little moment. The area Ed and Al were in was based on a role play we did, as well as the idea for the flowers. Hell, basically, she gave me the whole outline to his dream. I just wrote it. XD
And it was her and my lovely boyfriend Nate who helped me think up this title. Nate gave a double meaning to the distance between Ed and Al when I told him my plot line, so he gave me the idea to write something about a distance. And, since Kristina also suggested a distant thing beforehand, I sorta just took their titles, and combined them, using that to make my own and came up with it!
And as for the chapter title. That was my own. Here was my reasoning. :3 "I Miss You" is to Alphonse. "I Think I Love You" is to no one other than Jean Havoc. –Gasp!-
One last thing before this goes on too long… This takes place about a year after the movie. Ed has his auto-mail still as you read. And they did get back home. So yes… That is all. Oh, and comment, please!