Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Notes: Again, warning from me. This fic contains mature themes: violence, angst, sex, psychotic characters, etc. Read at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Chaining Emotion
Blood left a fine trail down her pale arm.
Even though Sakura was used to the whole process, she couldn't help not to flinch in pain as Sai thrust the kunai deeper into her shoulder. But unlike her usual to punch him whenever he displeased her, this time she wouldn't smack or protest him. She trusted him enough, and she knew that he was the only one who could hurt and bring comfort to her at the same time. Her smile was formed, and it was only during this time and to him only that she could twitch her lips in painful ecstasy.
Seeing her smile in agonize, his fake smile widened. Among the few first emotions that he had learned, the satisfaction of being sadistic had been one of them. He was addicted, until sometimes to the point of obsessed in hurting her. His heart would beat faster in excitement and at the same time, there would be rush of tranquility on his previously disturbed emotion. He liked to keep his emotion under his control, but the thrill in hurting her was irresistible, and for that one reason only, he gave the luxury of his desire to play the toll.
It had been like a routine now. Everytime she was feeling distressed or when he was having the suppressed depression, they would contact each other for help. She would come to his apartment, and then without much talks being traded, she invited herself in. Inside his room, he would be the one in charge at most times and proved his authority to her. Sometimes he would slam the medic-nin to the wall and beat her up like a lifeless doll, the other times he would tie her in an abnormal way and had the fun painting her, or like this time, he tore her skin with kunai and used her blood to paint on her body.
He loved to hurt her, and she loved being hurt by him.
Two psychotic people found companies.
"My favorite yukata and now you ruin it," she commented lazily as seeing her messed up white yukata.
Without lifting his attention in carving the butterfly form just below her collar bone, the dark-haired shinobi replied, "Not that it would matter, Ugly. You wouldn't even look attractive in it even if it was clean,"
Sakura chuckled darkly. "Liar. You know I look gorgeous in everything,"
"Don't you have mirror in your room?" His eyes glinted in mischievous way before he suddenly moved his kunai from her skin to tear up the front of her now-not-so-white yukata. Blood from the butterfly carving he had made on her skin earlier, had trickled down to her chest. "But I must admit, you do look gorgeous in blood," Sai said as bending down to lick the blood and lapped the butterfly carving.
"So Sakura, bleed for me,"
His kunai now moved to her abdomen and Sakura's breath hitched when he drew the trail on her flat stomach with the sharp weapon.
Silence fell for the couple of moments except the sound of his kunai carving on her thigh and her small whimper.
"So, what is it about dear Sasuke-kun this time?" Sai asked as he rubbed slow and hard on her cuts. If she called for him to let go of her sudden stress, then it must be caused by the youngest Uchiha. 5 years since he met her, and Sai knew Sakura enough that one person who could have this kind of damage towards her was only Sasuke. And like the rest of her depression cases, the Uchiha look-alike would hold the ironic role to 'comfort' her after Sasuke's haunting memory that had been set permanently on her mind.
Sakura had never liked remembering this certain part of memories, but Sai was the exception. He was the one who could make her spill the honesty and healed the pain of telling the honesty itself. In trembling voice, she answered, "He left me exactly this day, 8 years ago." The pain tugging at her heart tripled at the remembrance of her old love. Her heart twitched and in desperate sighs, she pleaded him, "More, Sai. Hurt me more…"
Obeying her asks for the sake of both her and his own wanting, Sai rapidly turned her around and crashed the front of her body to the wall. Without missing a beat, he drew another long line on her back with his kunai, tearing her yukata during the process.
She was starting to sob now.
"It always hurts. 8 fucking years and it does still hurt… That bastard… he might not even realize what he's doing to me. He doesn't know how hard I have tried to even match his skill. He wouldn't care. He had never cared. Probably he's guiltlessly fucking other girls maddeningly now, while I cry myself over him. I've w-wasted myself on him, Sai. And damn him, a-after all he had done, I still love him!! God, I am stupid, I am a lunatic, I –" her voice raised and became hysterical.
Good to the ex Root member, he had seen and experienced this side of his teammates pretty often. And with the bond shared, he knew the best how to calm her down. Grinding her body with his, Sai then raised one knee up and placed it in the between of her thigh –making her yukata hiked up – and started to rub his knee on her covered womanhood. While his leg doing so, his finger trailed her blood and begin to paint on her pale back like his usual doing to his canvas –his living, walking canvas.
The foul-mouthed shinobi paused his drawing, his hand grabbed the garment of her already torn yukata and in one swift motion, jerked it away from her and turned her around so that her naked front body was shown under his gaze. Without giving her a chance to exhale her next breath, his head descended down on her breast and shoved one mound into his mouth. Teeth biting, lips sucking her pink nipple and then rolling her tongue over her hardening bud expertly.
Sakura's breath quickened and for moments her sobs about Sasuke were turned into moans.
"Sa-Sasuke-kun…" she panted.
Sai had never liked being compared to the Uchiha last heir, moreover when he was doing a job concerning a man's pride. So, roughly, he pulled her pink hair forcing Sakura to see him and muttered darkly. "It's Sai,"
She seemed dazed for a couple of moment, but when his finger rubbed at her clit, she spontaneously cried out, "Sai…"
"Right, Ugly," he panted in more sexual tension after feeling her hot folds on his fingers. God, he had often had sex with her, but never had he felt the need to fuck her as hard as he was feeling right now.
Emotion driven, Sai thrust his hard member against her folds. Her moans drove him crazier and he thrust her in maddening pace.
Sakura hated herself to be actually pleased with him, and Sai hated himself for losing control over her.
Damn, none of these were supposed to happen. Their usual sex consisted of calculated movements and realization, but this one… heck, what and why the hell could the control slipped away and be traded with emotions?
On the remaining of the latest sanity in his mind, Sai concluded that this night, they had crossed the boundaries. Emotion towards the partner was never in the part, and he understood how dangerous this could lead to.
After moments of fucking each other passed, Sai let his member out of her folds and dropped himself to the floor. The panting Sakura followed soon enough.
Minutes passed in silence, and it wasn't until later that he finally decided to ask her the question he had been meaning to ask ever since she stepped into his apartment earlier that night.
The possible reason of the night's emotions let out.
"Why are you leaving?"
Her eyes slowly turned to look straight at his onyx ones. She stared at her teammate for the seemingly longest time before replying, "How do you find out?"
He snorted. "Ugly, 5 years, and believe me, I know you more than you ever think I do,"
Sakura shrugged as she pulled out a thin blanket to cover her nudity –which in Sai's eyes, didn't have much benefit, for he could still look at her perky nipples behind the thin fabric. "Because I have the capability enough now and that I have gained enough courage. If I wait even more, the courage will slip away and I will never be able to chase Sasuke-kun,"
"Then, why do you ever need to chase him? You said it yourself, that traitor would never care,"
"And that's just the more reason why, Sai. I have to go. I have to find him and get him back to Konoha and make him see what he has wasted over some stupid revenge,"
"You seem to understand the concept of 'wasting' enough. So why couldn't your big forehead knock it to your brain that you too are wasting your own life for some stupid reason?"
She looked at him and he knew that yes, he was asking the stupid question after all.
"Sai…"
"Forget whatever I have said, Ugly. Seemingly that your hideous face is a curse enough that I began to ask questions that I had never really even bother, anyway," he said as placing the fake smile once again.
Sakura gave a weak smile. "I hate to say it, but… I really am going to miss you, Sai."
The boy stood up. "Whatever. But don't think I'll say the same to you, Hag," he spoke with his usual tone of bogus cheer and went to the bathroom, acting as if nothing serious had happened. She heard the sound of water rushing from the shower and decided to wait for him while healing up her brutally bruised skin.
Sai took his bath rather quickly and his first comment when stepping out of his bath room was, "You're still here?"
The medic nin shrugged. "You look unpleased,"
With his smile still plastered on, the onyx-eyed man replied, "And why should I be pleased? Don't expect me to do things like what you did when you tried to stop your dear Sasuke-kun. You would never found me begging you to say, saying 'Oh, Sakura, don't go, I can't live without you' sort of things,"
Her face remained blank, but her eyes conveyed the different message.
"Don't give me that kind of look, Ugly. We're involved in this kind of relation just because our mental needed it. Emotions out of the case, remember?" and without waiting for any reply, he climbed to his bed and lied there motionless.
"I know that. And I just…" the apprentice of the Godaime herself muttered. "Never mind," and then she walked to the bathroom and closed the door.
His smiling mask was slowly put down, and he stared at his moonlight-illuminated window, until sleep took him moments later.
-----
He didn't love her. His heart –if he actually had one – was incapable of that.
She didn't love him. Her heart had been stolen by the Uchiha avenger a long time ago.
Sai and Sakura were, after all, mere teammates, ones that had never even really suited each other. The only bond shared was only the company in searching comfort.
So, when he heard his room's door creaked opened, he knew that she would just disappeared from his life forever, and she knew that he would never stop her from leaving.
What he didn't know was that she just wanted to snuggle back next to him on the bed and stayed there, stayed in Konoha.
What she didn't know was that he just wanted to hold her arms, and yes, pleading her not to leave.
But at the end, she walked away and he didn't stop her.
Because after all, they both were people who could never get what they actually wanted.
Only this time, there wouldn't be each other there to comfort.
All left alone.
End.
