As You Wish
Rating: T for some language
Genre: Family/Friendship
Summary: the many ways Dean says "I love you" to the people around him.
A/N: there isn't meant to be any romance in this one, just Dean's screwed up feelings about his family and friends. The title comes from The Princess Bride when Wesley would say "as you wish" to tell Buttercup he loved her. This story goes out to LilyBolt and ImpalaLove for being so awesome and helping me get my feet wet in in the Supernatural fandom.
~oOo~
For Sam, there are so many ways, it would take too long to count. It can be as simple as the way he calls him "Sammy," or the way he becomes a complete basket case when Sam is in trouble. It's the way he let's Sam drive his car, the way he refuses to let his brother die alone, or die at all for that matter. It's the way he calls him "Bitch" and the way he always expects Sam's response: "Jerk." It's the way he's willing to give up anything for Sam. His friends, his life, his soul. Nothing is too important that Dean wouldn't let it all go for Sam.
For Cas, it's a bit more complicated. The dude's an angel for one thing. Or used to be. Dean doesn't really think of Cas in those terms. Not in so many words. It's the way he says things like "we're family" or "I need you" or even when he yells at Cas for whatever recent failing the angel committed. He wouldn't do it if he didn't care. But it's complicated because Dean wants to be as loyal to Cas as he is to Sam, but he just doesn't have it in him. There isn't that much love in him. Cas always gets the short end of the stick. It sucks. It's not fair. But that's how it is.
Then there's Charlie, the little sister he never wanted. All Dean has to do is go along with quoting one of her favorite movies:
"I love you," she says.
"I know," he replies.
It's the way he calls on Ezekiel to save her life, even though he knows it will mean a longer healing time for Sam. As long as it doesn't kill his brother, Dean is willing to risk it for Charlie. Maybe because she's so vulnerable in some ways. She's a hunter now, but she's always going to be that geeky kid who tried to attack him with a foam sword. And maybe that's why he loves her in the first place.
For Kevin, it's more practical. Dean feeds the kid, makes sure he gets enough sleep. Acts like a mother, really. Because maybe it's Dean's fault Kevin's mom is gone. And Dean is always the one who brings Kevin back from the edge, the one who reminds him that he's not just their prophet, there to do a job, but part of the family. Kevin knows he matters to Dean, and that's good enough.
There's Benny, who's dead now, but when he was alive, Dean defended him, even to Sam. The same way he defended Cas once before. Only difference was, Benny was actually innocent. Even asking him to save Sam from Purgatory was Dean's way of saying he cared about Benny. He wouldn't have asked a favor like that from anyone else.
There are countless other ways. Carrying around Bobby's flask after he died. Trusting his dad even when John clearly didn't deserve it.
Of course, Dean does remember a time when he said those three words. To his mother. In the kitchen. He hasn't said them since. He never will.