The Dark Lord

by slavetomyownwill

When the Dark Lord Sam Walton creates the Wine Glass of Power, all of Middle-Earth is doomed. Will Ash Ketchum and his Fellowship of the Wine Glass be able to destroy the dark land of Walmart?

The Dark Lord

The world has changed.

What was once great is now dark.

Not three days ago, the disaster happened: a giant hole was ripped through the sky, sending all worlds together into one: our own.

High school girls, ninjas, serial killers, pocket-sized monsters, a crime fighting force, the strongest fighter in the world, a fellowship, a summoner, and a popstar all awoke in a field in the middle of central Illinois…

"Oh my god! I had the weirdest dream!" the popstar exclaimed. "I dreamed I was pulled into a field in the middle of my concert!" She looked around, seeing several sleeping figures, no screaming fans, and definitely NO stadium. "OH MY GOD! IT WAS REAL!"

With her sudden scream, the others woke as well.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S HANNAH MONTANA!" a brunette in a pink shirt yelled.

"Hello! I know you love me, do you want my autograph? I sure am superficial!" the popstar, who was in fact Hannah Montana, asked, smiling stupidly.

"HECK NO! I HATE YOU -bleep-!" she yelled. "I hate you so much that I'm going to go behind that tree!" She ran behind a nearby tree, and everyone saw a flash. Coming from behind the tree was not the girl, but instead a warrior in a metallic pink armor suit.

"Who the heck are you?" a boy in orange shouted.

"I am the pink ranger, defender of love and justice! I am in fact one of the power rangers!" she yelled.

"Kimberly, we know its you." Another ninja said. He was in a long black coat, and had a long black ponytail. His red eyes penetrated all.

"How could you tell?" another brunette asked. This one was wearing a white tank top and a long purple skirt. She had a staff in her hands.

"My eyes can see through everything." He said. "My name is Itachi, and I wonder…why aren't you wearing a bra?"

The girl gasped, and her face turned red. She covered her chest, and turned around.

"Really? She isn't?" a black-haired boy asked. He had on a blue vest, and had a red hat on. "My name is Ash, and I'm a Pokémon trainer!" A yellow mouse-type monster nodded in agreement.

The orange-clothed boy smiled. "A TRAINER? ARE YOU A SHINOBI LIKE ME?" he exclaimed excitedly.

"uhh…shinobi? What's that?" Ash asked.

The boy was outraged. "Great, you've ticked off Naruto." Itachi said.

Everyone looked around. During the time this conversation had been taking place, a man with a blonde afro had been setting up dishes and filling them with spaghetti and meatballs.

"Spaghetti? My favorite!" Hannah Montana exclaimed, and dove into the bowl face first. Somehow, she was able to grab everyone's food and dump it all into one barrel, and hop in, mercilessly devouring all of the food.

Everyone else watched with open mouths, horrified at this sudden turn of events.

"How are we going to eat?" a man who appeared to be some sort of knight asked. "She stole all our bloody food!"

"Who are you?" Naruto asked.

"My name is Boromir of Gondor." He said, unsheathing his sword. "And this is Beatrice, my lovely blade. Isn't she stellar?"

"YES! WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET THAT?" the man with the afro yelled, punching Boromir in the face.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" The pink ranger shouted.

"I WANT A SWORD!" he yelled.

"Who is that?" Hannah Montana asked.

"I am Bobobo-Bobo-Bobo!" he yelled. "But you may call me Bobobo."

"I shall! You're cute, you know that? You look like my daddy!" she said, trying to fake a Polish accent, which was done quite horribly.

A flat-chested teenage girl with a blank expression was sitting cross-legged.

"Who are you?" a blonde boy asked. His name was Light, which was ironic, because he appeared quite evil.

"I am Ayumu Kasuga. But all my friends back at school call me Osaka." She said. "I am a prophet! I can tell the future! And the past, because I have my history book in my backpack!" she pulled it out, and turned to chapter seventeen, and started reading aloud. "Long ago, lived a great lord. His name was Sam Walton, and he did a terrible thing." Somehow, her voice matched the narrator's from the beginning of this story, the voice telling about the hole in the sky. "There were once nine wine glasses. Three were given to ninjas. Two were given to humans. And the remaining four were given to the summoners. He was jealous of all these wine glasses and their mysterious powers, so he created his own!"

The others gasped in shock.

"It was called the glass of power, and it could control ALL WINE GLASSES! He used it to manipulate the other people with glasses into dancing uncontrollably! Eventually, they died of exhaustion! And so, he stole the wine glasses, and destroyed them! Those who lived in that period of time challenged his power, and attacked his dark land. They were all defeated by the wine glass's power. Sam Walton stood above the last fighter, Minato Namikaze. He took up his deceased father's kunai knife, and stabbed Sam Walton!"

The crowd 0nce again gasped, but then noticed that Bobobo had fallen asleep. Osaka continued. "Sam Walton exploded, but the Wine Glass flew away! It was found seven years later…by me. If you fill the wine glass with ANY liquid, bad things happen!"

The crowd was confused as to what kind of bad things happen, but they did not inquire.

"And now, the glass must be destroyed. One of you shall be the bearer, and journey into the dark chasms of the land of Walmart, and destroy it in the dark pits of the clearance section! Who shall it be?"

The crowd started arguing, yelling at each other on why who shouldn't be the bearer.

"One does not simply walk into Walmart. There is evil there that does not sleep." Boromir warned.

Very nervously, Ash shouted, "I will take it! I will take the glass to Walmart and destroy it!"

"You shall have my staff." Yuna, the summoner, said. "I join you on your cause."

"With my sword, we shall cut down enemies." Boromir said, and he and Yuna stood next to Ash.

"And you shall have my nosehair." Bobobo said, and also joined the group.

"My Justus shall prove worthy." Itachi said, and also joined.

"That's it then." Osaka said, looking at the group. "You are the" she was interrupted by someone.

"I'M COMING TOO!" Hannah Montana screamed, and ran over to the group.

"Fine. You are the Fellowship of the Wine Glass." Osaka said.

"Where are we going?" Hannah Montana asked.

They all stared at her, uneasy on whether or not they should allow her to come.

Chapter 2

Right outside of the meadow, they were attacked by a large group of high school-teens.

"Oh no! The orcs!" Boromir shouted.

"No…" Hannah Montana muttered. "Those aren't orcs…"

"What are they? Itachi asked.

"THE WILDCATS!" she screamed.

The teenage army started singing.

"WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!

ONCE WE KNOW

THAT WE WILL

SNAP YOUR BONES

WE WILL KILL YOU!

WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!

YOU WILL DIE!

HERE AND NOW!

YOUR DEATH COMES!

SO SAY GOODBYE NOW!!!"

The fellowship was freaking out, but then Hannah Montana stepped up, holding a pink glittery microphone in hand.

She held it up to her mouth, and started to sing as well:

"YOU GET THE BEST

OF BOTH WORLDS!

I'LL SMASH YOUR SKULLS TOGETHER

AND I'LL KNOW THAT

IT'S THE BEST OF THIS WORLD!

YOU GET YOUR DEATH IN THIS WORLD!

I'VE GOT A KNIFE; I'LL STAB YOU

AND IT'S GONNA KILL YO MOMMA

RIGHT HERE!"

With that, 99.9% of the teens spontaneously exploded in a mass of fiery death. ONE remained.

"You didn't just say that about my momma!" Troy Bolton yelled, pulling out a sniper rifle.

"I'll take it from here, Hannah." Yuna said, and swung her staff.

A huge iceberg shattered, and standing before them was a blue-skinned lady with blue hair. "My name is Shiva." She said.

Troy threw a basketball at the ice woman, and killed her.

"WHAT?" Yuna screamed. This upset her much.

She sat down on her knees, horrified.

"Go! Pikachu!" Ash yelled, and threw a Pokeball.

"Ash, that's unnecessary. Pikachu isn't in a pokeball." Boromir stated.

"Oh." Ash said, and Pikachu attacked, but was defeated as well.

Troy held his hand out, and motioned for them to attack.

Speaking in Japanese –of course there were subtitiles, though—Troy said, "Your death awaits! Come and get some!"

Hannah Montana stood tall with her microphone again.

"WHO SAID?

WHO SAID?

THAT I CAN'T SMASH YOUR BRAINS?

I SAY

I SAY

THAT I KNOW I WILL

WHO SAY

WHO SAY

THAT I AM SUPER DUMB?

I SAY

I SAY

THAT I KNOW I AM

BUT I

BUT I

I WILL KILL YOU NOW

BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB!" she sang, and slapped Troy in the face.

"I'M NOT GONNA STOP

THAT IS MY PLAN

I'M GONNA KILL YOU NOW

THAT'S WHO I AM

WILL I DESTROY YOUR LIFE?

THAT IS THE TRUTH

BET ON IT BET ON IT BET ON IT, BET ON IT!" Troy sang, and karate-chopped the diva, dislodging her jaw.

"I cun't tawk white!" Hannah yelled.

The fellowship cheered.

A meteor suddenly fell from the sky, smashing the popstar to bits.

"I'm okay!" Hannah yelled, and realized her voice was fixed.

"NOOOO!" the fellowship moaned.

Hannah's voice, however, was NOT the issue. The issue at hand was in fact the fact that Troy was still alive and angry.

Bobobo, however, knew the perfect plan to defeat goody-two-shoes teens. "You…get…a…DETENTION!" he yelled.

With that, Troy exploded as well.

……

"We now journey…through the mines of K-Mart." Yuna said. She decided that it would be safest to lead them through K-Mart rather than through the dangerous path of the five-lane high-way in front of WalMart, especially with the fact that they don't have a car.

Standing in front of K-Mart, the group exchanged nervous glances.

The auto doors slid open, and the fellowship entered.

Behind them, the doors collapsed, trapping them inside.

Chapter 3

The Fellowship exchanged nervous glances to each other. They're trapped in unfamiliar territory, a cave untouched for generations. Who knows what kind of beasts could have settled in?

Looking around at all the dead celebrities who onced lived there, including Brad Pitt, Selena Gomez, Hillary Duff, Miranda Cosgrove, and the like, Hannah Montana exclaimed, "Wow! I sure missed the party! Wish I would have been here!"

The rest of them looked at her strangely. Was it really a good idea to have let her come along? Well, she did save them all from High School Musical. They had to give her credit for that.

"Hannah, darling, do you really want to have been here? You'd have been killed by these…guitar-shaped arrows…hmm…that's strange." Ash said. Why he was calling her darling, no one knew.

"I bet the STYX were here!" Hannah exclaimed. She looked at a vase on the table in front of her, and pushed it down, claiming it somehow dishonored her name. It made a lot of noise as it shattered to the ground, as K-Mart often echoes things.

Then, the Fellowship heard roars of excitement coming their way.

"Goblins!" Itachi gasped.

"Those aren't goblins, Itachi…it's…TEEN ROCKERS!" Yuna gasped.

"RAISE YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND SCREAM!

WE'RE FINDING OUR VOICE, SLAUGHTERING YOUR TEAM!

CUZ WE ROCK!

WE ROCK

WE ROCK, LET'S KILL!

YOU'RE TEAM IS GOING TO DIE TONIGHT!

WE SHOW NO MERCY UNTIL IT IS DONE,

CUZ WE ROCK!

WE ROCK

WE ROCK, COME ON!" the Camp Rock cast sang.

Yuna decided at least she would show some bravery.

She swung her staff, and a huge hole opened up in the ground, and rising from the fiery pits of Hell came Anima, a large, possessed, zombie like witch.

She popped her neck, and several of the Camp Rock team was killed, except Tess Tyler.

"My stuck-up-ness will totally kill you!" she yelled.

She snapped her fingers, and a crew of back-up dancers came, and killed the witch Anima. Yuna, horrified, stepped back, and allowed someone else to fight.

"Tsukiyoomi!" Itachi shouted. He blinked at the enemies, and his red eyes tortured Tess until she admitted defeat. They then pushed her into a hole and smiled.

Stepping past the now corpse-filled battlefield, the group noticed a huge crater in the middle of the store. It was at this time when they realized how hard this journey was going to be. They looked at the fragile bridge stretching across the crater, very narrow, with no handrails.

They were able to make it about three steps on when they heard a deafening roar behind them. They turned around, and saw that the Bogfrog, a giant, fiery toad, was chasing them, holding an icy whip. It chased after them, and they were halfway across the bridge when it was at the start of it.

"ROAR!"

"Run!" Ash yelled, and hurriedly finished crossing the bridge. Yuna stood in the center to hold the beast off while the others safely made it across.

"Roar!"

Yuna smashed her staff into the center of the bridge, screaming, "You shall not pass!"

The Bogfrog stomped, crumbling the bridge, and he and Yuna fell into the dark pits below.

Boromir, Bobobo, Itachi, Hannah, and Ash were grief-stricken at their comrade's death. To think, they just met her that morning.

They did however, saw that the exit to the Mines of K-Mart was right in front of them. Exiting through the door, they stepped out into the bright sunlight. Looking at the parking lot before them, they saw the safest passage to Walmart: the sidewalk next to the highway. Before the sidewalk, however, they would have to cross through the Lot of Parked Cars. They got the feeling, however, that near the cars were humans of some sort, waiting for them. They were right.

Osaka and her two friends, Chiyo and Tomo, approached the fellowship.

"What of Yuna the Summoner?" Tomo asked.

"She fell." Osaka was able to tell just by looking.

"Really? Did she dive for a nickel or something? Or was it a dare, because I know that I wouldn't back down if I was dared to jump into a bottomless pit to my death." Tomo said, receiving angry glares from everyone. And I mean everyone, including Santa.

"I have gifts for you." Osaka said, and gave each of them a blue polo shirt and khaki pants. "This armor will grant you safe passage into Walmart, as the forces will believe you belong to them. You will be able to go in without harm."

With that, Osaka pointed to the sidewalk. "Go. Go to Walmart, and destroy the Wine Glass of Power."

Chapter 4

The Fellowship, or the remaining members, stood on the sidewalk, and began walking. However, a battle was about to take place, a battle soon to be known as The Battle on the way to Walmart. Creative, I know.

Hannah and Ash were leading the group, and everyone else was oblivious to this, as they were to busy talking about how amazing it would be if they opened a can of Spam, but inside it were a block of cheese!

Hannah tripped Ash, and shouted, "Give me the Wine Glass! I must take it to Hollywood for my father's honor to be restored!" She jumped on top of Ash, and grabbed the wine glass. Ash took it from her, and filled it with water. He vanished.

"I SEE YOU!" a dark voice shouted to Ash.

Ash screamed, seeing that a huge smily face was looking at him.

"I will get the wine glass, and I will use it to increase prices everywhere!" the face laughed.

Ash dumped the contents of the wine glass out onto the sidewalk, and suddenly appeared on top of Hannah, yelling violently for her to stop. Suddenly, they heard a growl. Three powerful women were chasing down Ash, trying to get the Wine Glass.

They punched Boromir and knocked him onto his face.

They tickled Itachi until he giggled with ferocious delight.

They also karate kicked Bobobo and knocked him onto his butt.

"We are…THE CHEETAH GIRLS!" they shouted, and ferociously scratched Hannah Montana.

Once they had run away laughing maniacally, Bobobo, Boromir, Itachi, and Ash stood above Hannah Montana, who was gasping for air.

"I always wanted to get the glass to Hollywood…" Hannah moaned. "I always wanted to fulfill my father's wish…"

"Don't say that…you'll make it." Boromir said, with tears in his eyes. "Hannah…I think I love you."

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Hannah shouted, and grabbed Beatrice, and stabbed herself in the heart, ending her life.

"No!" Boromir cried. He wanted to save her. He failed, just like she failed to restore her father's honor with the Wine Glass of Power.

"Curse this world and it's cursing ways…I can't believe we were only able to make it this far." Ash said. "We failed."

"You have not failed." A familiar voice said. "The Fellowship will not fail as long as I stand here today."

They all looked up, and gasped. Rather than wearing her usual outfit, Yuna was in a white tank top, black bootie shorts, and a blue cloth wrapped around her waist. Instead of holding a staff, she had two pistols. "Forget me already?"

"YUNA!" they cried, happier than ever.

"I fell to the end of the pits with that Bogfrog, and lying dead there, I was spoken to by an angel. She told me my task in this world is not done, and I must help destroy the Wine Glass, and then I may truly die. I have a purpose to fulfill, and I will fulfill it."

They approached McDonalds, and sat a table, where they met the Pink Ranger once again. "Hello. I am Queen Kimberly, the Pink Ranger. I rule over the Kingdom of McDonalds, and I am here to take a stand against Sam Walton. Do I have your support?"

"Yes. We will help you defeat him as soon as possible." Yuna said.

"Beware…for someone who appeared to be on your side in the beginning is now a dark lord as well, trying to defeat all who oppose him, and all who oppose Sam Walton." Kimberly explained.

They all gave Boromir angry glares. "WHAT?" he asked.

They stared at him for a moment, before realizing that it would most likely be Light. After all, this story DID foreshadow that Light would be evil, because after all, it DID say he looks quite evil.

"Let's go." Bobobo said, and rushed the group out of McDonalds.

Outside, while Kimberly was inside preparing her power ranger supplies, Bobobo pulled out the hamburger he stole and ate it happily.

They all looked at him.

"What? It's about lunch time, and I was hungry!" Bobobo said. Kimberly came out of the Kingdom, and the new Fellowship walked down the other sidewalk for a while, and soon were standing outside the Black Gates of Walmart.

Chapter 5

"You shall cross no further!" a voice yelled.

The fellowship, stunned out of their minds, looked atop the building to see Light. He was still in his school uniform, and held his black notebook in hand, and a pen. The notebook had "Death Note" written on its cover in ominous lettering.

"What is that?" Ash shouted, looking at the book.

"Your demise." Light said. He penciled down the name Kimberly the Pink Ranger, and grinned maniacally.

Kimberly gasped. She clutched her heart as if she were dying. Too bad she was, because within seconds her corpse was lying on the ground, cold, and dead.

"Every name I write down, the person will die of a heart attack." He said.

"You mean…you're the serial killer, Kira?" Kimberly the Pink Ranger, and grinned maniacally.

Kimberly gasped. She clutched her heart as if she were dying. Too bad she was, because within seconds her corpse was lying on the ground, cold, and dead.

"Every name I write down, the person will die of a heart attack." He said.

"You mean…you're the serial killer, Kira?" Yuna gasped.

A single red rose flew through the air at top speed, puncturing Light in the throat, and he fell off of the building, and landed on the ground. Everyone heard his spine crack into bits. He was dead.

The group looked at the other side of the building roof. A man in a tuxedo, cape, and top had was looking at Light's corpse. He had white sunglasses on.

"Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon?!" Boromir gasped.

He took off the cape, and then tuxedo, revealing a white long sleeve shirt and loose fitting pants. He then removed the top hat, showing his mess of hair. He then removed the sunglasses, and everyone gasped again.

"You're…you're…L!!!" Boromir shouted. "You're the one that has that logo! The one that Ben and Laura, and sometimes Megan, draw on their hand for school! I worship you!" Boromir then got on his knees and started kissing the ground.

"You're creepy." L said. "But I'm replacing Kimberly, and joining the fellowship. He jumped down from the building, and, unsurprisingly, lived.

The automatic sliding doors slid open, and the dark forces of Walmart poured out. The fellowship somehow quickly changed into the Walmart outfit before the forces noticed.

"What are you doing outside?" a general demanded. "You need in! We hear rumors of an attack!"

The fellowship, disguised as the forces of Walmart, entered the dark land. DUN DUN DUN!

"This is quite strange." L noted, looking around. "Ooh! Candy! Behold the power of sugar!" he yelled, grabbing a ten gallon bag of candy, and shoving it in everyone's faces.

"Ash…I'll go with you…to the clearance." Yuna said bravely, and she and Ash strayed away from the large forces, winking at the fellowship.

The remaining members trailed along with the army.

"Wait a minute." The general gasped. "You're not part of us!"

The Walmart army suddenly, each member having large swords and shields, turned to face the fellowship. Luckily, by now, Yuna and Ash were out of sight.

"FIST OF THE NOSE HAIR!" Bobobo shouted, and his long nose hairs whipped at some of the army members, and they exploded in front of the fellowship. What remained of the army charged.

"Beatrice's repentance!" Boromir shouted, swinging Beatrice at a few army members, killing them. Beatrice had to repent for killing Hannah, although no one except Boromir saw why.

Itachi threw a few ninja stars, and within seconds, the fellowship had saved themselves.

There was still her however. The Walmart greeter, a giant receipt, roared at the group, hissing and snapping her ferocious jaws.

"Oh no!" Itachi shouted, and ran.

Reinforcements had arrived by now, and soon, the fellowship was doomed.

"We're not going to make it out of this." Bobobo said.

"But we have to give Ash more time." Boromir stated.

"Not without me!" a young, rambunctious voice called, and Naruto, the ninja in orange, was standing before them.

The army was hushed.

"It's…the HEIR!" They screamed after a moment of silence. "The very seed of Minato Namikaze, slayer of Walton!"

Naruto gasped. How had they found out so quickly?

The army had surrounded the group quickly, with no way out.

Yuna and Ash stood before the clearance aisle. "Go on, Ash. You can do it." Yuna said.

Chapter 6

Ash gasped. Before him stood a huge hole, and deep into it, lava, and flames. He got the shivers just looking at it.

"Go on, Ash."

"WAIT!" an army member yelled. "Where's the boy?" The army gasped. The boy and the summoner weren't with the rest of the army. They instantly guessed where they would be.

"NO!" Boromir screamed, with tears in his eyes. He pulled out Beatrice, and Boromir's final charge began. He ran as fast as he could, cutting down every blasted employee in sight. He had slain about seventy when it happened. One of the employees shot Boromir with a price checker gun. "7.95" she shouted, and Boromir fell to the ground, deceased.

Bobobo gasped with surprise. "Then I shall follow!" he yelled, and hopped onto a ten speed bike, pedaling to the metal, and rode past, until he was barring the army from going no closer to the group. "YOU…SHALL…FAIL!" he yelled, and his nose hairs grew to an unbelievable length, and tied up several employees. His mucus then trailed down the hairs, and the employees were so disgusted that they passed out. Seeing they were unconscious, Bobobo threw large glass jars at their heads, sending glass shards into their skulls, killing them.

"My fallen comrades will no longer be at the hands of death!" Itachi screamed, and, shooting black flames all over the store, killed several of the army, but…

They were still coming.

Walmart had an unlimited supply of soldiers, and, as Naruto soon realized, it was hopeless. They would never get out of there alive.

"Hannah…Kimberly…Boromir…dad…they all died at the foot of evil…and lost everything for some stupid wine glass! Who cares anymore? I say…I say…we give up…" he moaned, to the horror of Itachi and Bobobo.

"Ash." Yuna pressed forward. "Drop it in."

Ash gasped. "Oh no…"

There behind them was the receipt, sending sparks of energy towards them.

"Ash! Do it!" Yuna screamed, and summoned Bahamut, the dragon king. It roared ferociously, and went into full force battle with the receipt. "Drop it, Ash!"

The army lowered their weapons, prepared to let Itachi, Bobobo, and Naruto leave the store safely. After all, they had just given up. Naruto grinned. He then releaced powerful blasts of wind out of his hands, yelling "RASENGAN!"

The army was blasted back. Naruto gasped for air, having expended all his energy. He collapsed to the ground, dying.

"Not another comrade!" Itachi screamed, and threw a thousand knives in all directions. Bobobo ducked, and the army was destroyed.

More kept coming.

"WE'RE DOOMED!" Itachi shouted, and began his charge, throwing knives, ninja stars, and huge swords in every direction, killing every employee that so much as looked his way.

The army kept pushing forward, and trampled Bobobo, Naruto, and Itachi, and headed to the clearance.

The receipt had defeated Bahamut by now, but both had fallen into the chasms of darkness.

"Ash…what's wrong?" yuna asked. "Why aren't you destroying it?"

"I left it on the sidewalk on the highway." He gasped.

Yuna screamed in horror, and teleported herself and Ash to the sidewalk.

The wine glass, surprisingly, was in the exact same place, next to Hannah's rotting corpse. To think, it had only been that morning that they had met.

Yuna teleported herself and the glass-bearer back to the clearance section, standing atop shelves, just out of reach of the weapons of the dark forces.

"Throw it in, Ash." Yuna commanded.

"LET'S GO!" Bobobo yelled. He, Itachi, and Naruto stormed into the aisle, pushing forward, knocking enemies into the fiery pit, laughing maniacally as they burned to death.

"TAKE THIS, SAM WALTON!" Ash screamed, and threw the wine glass as hard as he could.

The army gasped as the glass hit the floor, shattering right next to the fiery pit. It didn't go in. The plan failed.

"We have to get the shards in!" Ash yelled, and jumped down, followed by Yuna.

The two scrambled to pick up the glass pieces as fast as they could. They had collected all the pieces, and dropped every single one into the chasm.

The army gasped as the ground shook. A huge hole opened beneath them, and the army fell into the ground, never to come back again. The clearance section also collapsed. It was the disaster of a lifetime.

Ash ran as hard as he could to escape, before the ground would collapse.

The ground shattered beneath him, and he fell, only clutching a single tree branch, conveniently located there, just like in the movies where people fall into the grand canyon. In every deadly pit hangs a tree branch.

He gripped to it, about to give up, to let go.

"Don't you dare." Yuna said, as if she had read his thoughts.

Bobobo's face was covered in tears as he saw Ash go.

Itachi gasped, watching him fall to the depths below.

Naruto was confused. Had he fallen yet, or was he still clinging onto that tree branch? As you can tell, being four feet tall doesn't help when there's a five foot tall pile of rubble blocking your view.

"No!" Yuna gasped, and swung her staff.

Epilouge

Was it heaven? Ash lay in a white bed, with white sheets. Standing at the foot of the bed was Hannah. How had she lived? Was she dead? Is this heaven?

Next to her was Boromir. How did this happen? Were all of his friends with him in heaven, or was he simply hallucinating?

The door of the white room opened.

Gasping with joy, and tears streaming down her face, Yuna ran into the room, embracing Ash.

The group was laughing with happiness, excited to be together again. Heaven sure was a nice place; it reunites people.

Kimberly came in shortly after. She was very happy to see her fallen comrades were safe in this place.

Next to enter were Itachi and Naruto. The two ninjas looked tough, covered in battle wounds and cuts. They smiled widely, happy that they could see Ash once again.

Bobobo also entered, the final one. He grinned at Ash. "You did it, kid." He said, and burst out into laughter.

The group was once again reunited.

"About time." Someone said. None of them had noticed her before, but Osaka was also in the room, back in the corner. "Welcome back to the meadow."

Ash flinched. Was it really the meadow?

They exited the room, and saw that they were inside a small cottage. Right outside was the barrel of devoured spaghetti and all: everything was still there.

"How?" Ash asked.

"Life works in mysterious ways, Ash. You defeated The Dark Lord, Sam Walton. You destroyed the Wine Glass of Power. You did the world a great task, ridding us of Walmart. Thank you." She bowed.

Ash noticed the huge group of people, residents of Effingham, Illinois. The residents of Green Creek and T-Town, even Bishop, were all there, bowing down to Ash, along with the rest of the fellowship.

Tears ran down Ash's cheeks.

He did it.

He saved the world.

The End