Which One or Both

Deans POV

In every situation of my life there has always been a long list of choices. Save the girl or save Sammy? Stand by Sam or prevent the apocalypse? My choices are never easy, and yet the decision I currently face is the most difficult I have come across. Go figure it's the one that isn't life or death that stumps me most. For whom will I lower the steel walls that guard my iced off heart as it is two that I love.

On one shoulder is the darker of the two angels that have caught my heart, Balthazar. I think it's safe to say he is a man that does not frequently go unnoticed. The way his hair is always rustled in a 'I just had sex' way, or the way his grey blouse, however feminine, clings to each tone and defined muscle on his chest. Makes me wonder about how well off he is on the rest of his body. But it's not just that is one hell of a sexy man. It's how passionate and care free he can be all in one. He reminds me a bit of myself actually. He carries that undying love for his brother, but knows how to let go and enjoy the little things in life. All in all a well-rounded man.

Then there's my other shoulder with the lighter of the two angels, and awkwardly Balthazar's brother, Castiel. I don't think a more beautiful has ever stepped foot on this earth, human or not. Never in my being have eyes ever been bluer, or lips been more tempting. I've never noticed everything about a person, yet I can't seem to not notice everything about Cas. How his head tilts to the side giving me that curious stare, or how he knows absolutely NO boundaries in personal space. How many times I tell him to learn personal space rules, and yet I pray he never does. Beautiful and everything I could ever want in a lover.

Not really a good set of choices. Two angels. Both brothers. And neither knows how I feel. Fricking wonderful is it not? I know better than to let any kind of emotion with Castiel here which is why I plaster this stupid smile on my face when he walks in, "Hey Cas. How ya been?" He tilts his head like he always does, "I'm well Dean. You've not slept well." And that's why I shield my emotions. He knows everything, "Yah it's been a long couple days of research. Pretty sure there's a vengeful grandma in town." Castiel laughed that, pardon the expression, angelic laugh, "So the usual? You two will never change."

I was good at hiding it all while battling who I loved more and how I would ever find the courage to tell either one of them. That is until Sammy and Cas decided to go out shopping. Grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet I took a large swallow willing myself to forget the shamefulness of my heart. Falling to my knees I banged my fist against the wooden bed frame efficiently brushing my hand. I feel so weak a few tears manage to escape me.

"Well isn't this a surprise. The great Dean on his knees. How many demons would give everything to see this," the voice was easy enough to recognize. All I wanted was to wallow in my own self-pity in peace, "What do you want Crowley?" I've never seen concern in his eyes but I know I didn't hallucinate seeing it there when he replied, "What's wrong?" Looking down I don't know why I had the sudden urge to let everything out but that's exactly what I did, "I don't know what to do. How can I chose only one of them and worse than that how do I tell them. They're both perfect but I can't chose. I don't want to." The demon/king of hell, I lose track of what he's calling himself now, placed his hand on my shoulder, "Who are you choosing from and why can't you tell them?" taking a deep breath I whispered the two names out loud for the first time, "Castiel and Balthazar. How do I tell them that I love them?"

The man smirked in a friendly way if that's possible, "Castiel is your friend. Tell him how you feel. He hasn't ever left your side. At least when he wasn't being brain washed or controlled by a power surge. As for Balthazar. His talent is forgetting. If he doesn't accept it things will go back to your normal half friendship. As for choosing, that's up to you mate."

I looked up nodding, "Yah I know. And thanks. But why are you even helping me?" He rolled his eyes good naturedly, "Can't have my favorite hunter out of his game. You and your brother are the only fun fight us demons have." With that he disappeared leaving me to laugh softly at what he had said.

About an hour later Cas and Sam got home to see me sitting on the couch quietly. I watched them sit then looked to Castiel, "Can I talk to you about something?" Giving me the 'do you really have to ask' look he crooked his lips up, "Of course Dean. What is it?" I closed my eyes momentarily to get up the courage to start this conversation, "How do angels view a human who likes the same gender?" My friend shrugged, "Love is love in any form. We do not see people badly for any form of relation as long as it is done in love."

This helped me relax a little, "I like someone…actually two people. Men. I just…you should know who they are…" I knew I was stumbling when Cas started laughing, "Whatever you want to tell me, tell me. I have no problem with you liking men. If you love them you love them." I took another large swig from the bottle I was holding, "You and Balthazar. I love you and Balthazar." Even with my gut spinning in my stomach it felt good to admit out loud. Silence filled the room leaving me wishing I had kept my mouth shut, "Cas man, please say something."

And then the biggest surprise of the night was when he grinned as wide as it gets, "Really? Looks like I owe Balthazar." My brows furrowed in confusion, "wait what? You're not mad? Why would you owe him?" Chuckling he rolled his eyes at my many questions, "No I'm not mad. I and Bal have been together for a while now. He suggested asking you but I insisted you were straight. Now that I know I'd love if you would be with us."

My eyes widened as he revealed I had no reason to be scared or to mourn over the idea of choosing one of them, "Yes! I would never want to choose between you. Are you sure Balthazar will be okay with me joining you?" Cas smirked, "I may have had feelings for you for a while, but inviting you was his idea."

Without thinking I had my arms thrown around his neck, him gripping my hips in a welcoming embrace. When we let go I fell to my knees once again folding my hands to pray, "Hey Bal, staying at 7231 W. Highway 61, Tofte, MN 55615 Room 13. Cas and I wanna talk to you." It didn't take but a couple seconds for Bal to angel mojo his way in, "Hey Cassie. You finally ask?" Dean stood throwing his arms around the muscular angel clinging tight. Bal snickered, "I take that as a yes and that you agreed."

Randomly Sam coughed, "Right so I'm happy for you three, this has been pleasantly awkward but I'm going to find a room on the other side of the complex." All of us finding this amusing gave halfhearted apologies honestly agreeing with him finding a different room for the night.

SMUT!SMUT!SMUT!SMUT!SMUT!SMUT!SMUT!SMUT!SMUT!SMUT!

Balthazar smirked when it was just the three of us before pushing me to the couch and straddling me. I gasped as the forced of his grip on my sides but I can't say I was complaining. Especially when his lips found mine in a powerful exploration. I gave no struggle when his tongue demanded entrance, licking, sucking and exploring every bit of my mouth. His skin burned on mine but I couldn't bring myself to want that burn to ever leave me. We only made to stop hearing a low moan looking up to see Cas palming himself through his pants.

This sight only served to arouse me further causing the most unmanly whimper to leave my throat, "Please Cas. Want you too." Moving to the couch with us Cas and Bal went to town attacking at my neck happily. Lord knows I'm not a virgin, but the feel of their teeth scraping my skin and their muscles flexing above me had me feeling like one. Panting through the pleasure I was getting in patient, "Please Castiel. Balthazar. Not enough." They laughed but I wasn't disappointed long.

Castiel kneeled in front of me pulling my jeans down and off in a single motion. I couldn't believe what he was about to do as his warm breath grazed over my achingly hard length. He didn't waste any time in pulling the tip of me past his lips and down his throat. I still say the scream that left me was entirely his fault, "Fuck! So good Cas Baby." Balthazar's eyes glowed with mischief, "I already know how good Cassie is. Let's see about the newest addition." I was confused until in a blink he was stripped naked and his dick pressed to my lips.

I opened up eagerly loving the way he rubbed the slit of his cock along my tongue, letting me taste him. He was delicious as he finally gave in and thrust himself in and out of my mouth, steadying his pace to match Castiel's bobbing. I moaned lowly around the treat in my mouth as Cas grazed his teeth over a sensitive bit of my own cock, causing Bal's already intense pleasure to double.

Cas pulled away and I have to say I was slightly off put until Balthazar pulled him into a heated kiss. I thought this would make me jealous, but it didn't. No it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen in my life. Cas was moaning into Bal's mouth as Bal sucked on his tongue like the tastiest popsicle. Balthazar reached around Castiel slipping a finger into his forever tight entrance. Cas moaned as Bal thrust a second finger into him fucking and stretching him with the thin but long digits. I swear I could have come just watching the scene in front of me but it ended all too soon.

Cas chuckled when he saw me writhing lightly watching them, "I think we've left him be for too long my love." Bal nodded, "I agree. I'm dying to watch your stunning cock slide into him while I take, making you take him harder." I groaned at the gentle dirty talk they were throwing back and forth. Castiel blinked and with a thought was holding a bottle of lube, squeezing some onto his fingers.

I never thought something so painful could bring me such pleasure but as two of his fingers thrust into my virgin ass I could do nothing but push back on them needingly. When the third finger entered me I held no more will to wait, "Cas baby, fuck me already. Please Cas. I want to watch Bal fuck you while you're deep inside me." Castiel tilted his head adorably, "As you wish Dean."

Removing his fingers his cock immediately replaced it causing my head to fly back and a scream to rip from my throat, "God yes Castiel!" Cas shook his head, "No blasphemy Dean." I laughed at how he could be so serious while pounding me so hard, my head was bound to go through the couch cushion eventually.

Balthazar placed his hand on Cas's back lining his own cock up for what I can only imagine to be one of the most blissful moments of pleasure there is. Bal took it so slow driving me mad watching him slip his large girth into the tight heat that was Castiel. Cas was doing his best to keep control on his desire as he was filled to the brim by the massive length.

It didn't take long for Bal to get into a steady rhythm. As he would pull out Cas would push back, as he would thrust in Cas would slam back into me. The harder Bal thrusted the harder I got fucked, and that was just fine with me let me tell ya. The feelings were immensely overwhelming, and we found ourselves without words to describe the wonders we were experiencing.

My stomach began to warm up and coil, "Fuck Cas! Bal! So close. Need to come." Balthazar's accented voiced pleasantly reached my ears, "Us too love. Be a good boy and come for us." Who was I to deny an order when it fell so convincingly from his lips? My back arched meeting Cas's chest as spurts of hot come painted us, followed quickly by Castiel's own release filling my ass and Bal's filling Cas.

My eyes were heavy with exhaustion as we came down off of the high we were on, "Thank you. That was amazing." Bal carried me to the bedroom before pulling me to his chest, Cas curling in front of me in a three way spooning session if you will. I'm embarrassed to say I giggled but I was tired so it wasn't my fault as I whispered sleepily, "You guys don't sleep." I felt Balthazar smile against my neck, "We do rest though. Sleep my love. We'll be here when you wake." Enjoying the warmth of the cocoon I was wrapped in I nodded, "Kay. Night. Love you both." Before sleep over took me I heard the deep words of Castiel, "We love you too."