January 1st 1981
"Happy New Year!"
Dorcas jumped to her feet and yelled along with everyone else, the words coming out slurred and jumbled; no doubt thanks to all the firewhiskey she'd had that night. She sighed happily, slumping back down onto the old couch she had been seated on a moment before.
Other members of the Order were celebrating around her, people she had gone to school with both her age and from different years. Alice Prewett, who had been the Head Girl of Dorcas' year level, was smiling at her fiancee' Frank Longbottom as he told a joke to Sirius Black, who had been in the year below Dorcas, and a girl she didn't know. Lily Evans and James Potter, the impossible couple, were still liplocked, caught up in their New Year's kiss. Peter Pettigrew was surrounded by Emmeline Vance from the year above Dorcas, Mary McDonald and Marlene McKinnon, both of whom Dorcas had shared a dorm with during her time at Hogwarts.
Dorcas sighed again, she'd hoped to get a New Year's kiss herself and didn't blame Mary, Emmeline and Marlene for crowding around Peter. He had a silver tongue that was unmatched even by his charming friends and the bluest blue eyes you've ever seen. Dorcas wouldn't mind crowding around him herself but she'd had her own eye most particularly on Remus Lupin, who had been depressingly disinterested. There had been a bit of a spark when they were at Hogwarts and she had tutored him in Charms, but back then being a year older seemed terribly important. It seemed trivial now. A lot of things seemed trivial now.
"Why the deep sigh? Aren't you happy to see the New Year?"
Dorcas looked up in surprise to see Remus Lupin seated in a corner to her left. She hadn't spotted him curled up there with his frozen martini sending little snow flurries into the air above his glass.
"Very glad, I'm just afraid I won't see another." She admitted, far more easily than she might have had it not been for the copius amount of alcohol in her system.
"Aren't we all?" Remus asked, somewhat ironically.
Dorcas snorted. "I don't know Black doesn't seem too fazed."
"Sirius isn't afraid to die, I suppose that's true. But all the same, I think he'd rather live."
"And who can blame him with such attractive company?" Dorcas asked winking at Remus.
Remus laughed at that.
"So, what, might I ask, would you be doing if all was peaceful and well?" He asked after a moment of silence.
Dorcas shrugged, a little awkwardly because she was lounging against the couch arm but it was a shrug nevertheless. "Who knows? I didn't know what I wanted to do in fifth year when we had those career advice meetings and by then the whispers of You-Know-Who had already started. I'd be a different person if we'd never been at war so I can't tell you what that Dorcas would have done."
Remus nodded, his hazel eyes thoughtful. "Okay then, say the war ends tomorrow. You-Know-Who is destroyed and the Death Eaters rounded up, what then?"
Dorcas shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat, unsure where this was going. "I – well I know I'd help with rounding up the Death Eaters. Then I might – I might become an auror I suppose but I don't really think so. I think I'd join the Ministry and be part of some department which makes stuff. Like you know, Quiddich Stadiums and new areas for wizarding shops. Diagon Alley is sure as hell not big enough we could do with like a wizard mall or something. I don't know something like that. But who knows? Maybe I'd get married and be a housewife. I'd like that; raise a bunch of cute little mini-mes, spend my time baking and tending my garden."
Remus smiled at that. "Sounds rather nice honestly. You know what? I think I'd like to be a housewife as well."
Dorcas laughed. "A housewife? In a dress and all?"
"Don't forget the apron." He reminded her.
Dorcas laughed again. "Tell you what Lupin, if we survive this you can be my housewife."
Remus grinned at her taking a sip of his drink.
"You already drink the right kind of drinks." She added, nodding at the ice covered glass.
"Hey! I resent that, a martini is perfectly manly."
"It is not. Grow some balls, take a shot of firewhiskey."
"How can I do that when you and Sirius have finished it all already?" Remus demanded, his eyes dancing with laughter.
"It's New Years! I had to celebrate!" Dorcas protested, her offended act ruined by the fact that she was grinning broadly at Remus.
"Touche'." Remus raised his glass in her direction. "Happy New Year then Dorcas."
She raised her nearly empty cup of firewhiskey in response.
"Happy New Year Remus."
X
July 3rd, 1981
"Did you hear?" Lily asked in a hushed tone, as she emerged from Harry's room after putting him to bed.
"Hear what?" James and Sirius chorused, albiet quietly, no one wanted to incur Lily's wrath and wake the baby.
Lily shook her head. "It's not good news."
Remus, who sat in between the two, sighed. He didn't think he could take anymore bad news, not after Mary. Peter had finished a whole bottle of firewhiskey himself and passed out on Remus' living room floor after hearing the news. He and Mary had sort of been seeing each other. It was the kind of arrangement Remus had seen a lot lately, the war drove people one of two ways. Either they were like James and Lily and got married far more quickly than they might have otherwise done. Or, they reached an agreement where they weren't serious or committed, but that had a promise of "if we survive."
Mary hadn't survived. Peter and Mary would never fufil that promise.
"Who?" James asked after a moment of silence.
Lily sighed before answering him.
"Dorcas. Dorcas Meadowes."
Remus felt a stab of pain somewhere in his chest as a lump formed in his throat. Dorcas Meadowes. Dead. She'd tutored him in Charms back in sixth year, all the while he had the biggest crush on her. He still thought she was beautiful, still thought she was wonderful but he was a werewolf and they were at war. It wasn't the time, she deserved better - there had been a lot of reasons to not do anything about how beautiful Dorcas Meadowes was. And now she was dead.
"Dorcas." He whispered, putting his face in his hands. He felt many emotions at that moment but none of them were concrete, none clear. Dorcas Meadowes had been beautiful but Remus Lupin had never loved her. Right now he wasn't sure if he was glad to be spared the pain of loving her only to lose her, or if he regretted never having the chance.
"Are you alright?" Sirius asked after another long silence.
Remus looked up into his concerned friend's face and smiled weakly. "Yeah, I just – "
"You were thinking maybe if you both survived." Sirius supplied.
Remus nodded in agreement and there was another long moment of silence.
"But we didn't."
X
I'm thinking of making this into a series featuring characters of the first war. Them during the war and then either them dying, others reacting to their death or their lives after the war. Perhaps a new marauder fic even? Maybe I'll even give Dorcas and Remus a chance, who knows. If you're interested let me know.
For now, however, it is a one shot. Hope you enjoyed