It's been two years. Two years since you left me for the afterlife my darkness, and I still can't believe how you could do that.
It seems like yesterday to me that you held me tight in your arms, safe from everything and everyone. And oh, how right it felt, it felt like that was exactly were I belonged, in your arms.
We were so perfect together and I remember I had told you that you were the one for me, the one and only and the irony is that you had said the same for me, but it seems that for once again I was wrong, mistaken.
And you know what the result of that was? It was my shattered, broken, bleeding heart. You were the only one that I ever opened up that heart to, the only person that I ever let in.
But I can't carry anymore that burden, especially not now that it has become heavier. Grandpa died a few months after your departure and in my sorrow for you was added the sorrow for my grandpa too.
I am so sad and the only way I can think of to let it out, is by crying. And that's exactly what I do. I have lost the count all these years, but you can't see the tears I shed, because simply you are not here. I am sorry I couldn't keep my promise to you. I know I had said that I wouldn't shed another tear, but you can't blame me now, can you?
My friends were so worried about me because I was already barely hanging on and they thought that grandpa's death was the final strike. But fortunately I managed to persuade them otherwise by pulling a mask, a forced smile, a fake laugh from time to time, anything. It is naturally for me now to give them a fake smile. I've become so accustomed to it that they never suspend anything.
But I can't deny it anymore, I am tired of pretending to be a person that I am not. I am tired of pretending that I'm fine, because I am not, not without you, I can't sleep without you, can't breath.
I shouldn't blame you my other, not the only person that I ever loved. But I do and I hate and blame myself for that. I blame myself for everything, for watching you leave and not stopping you, for my grandfather's death, for missing you and for being so weak.
I am so weak that I can't even stop my nightmares, one nightmare to be more specific that is tearing me apart. Ever since you left I have the same dream every night, the same nightmare. You stand there before the door of the spirit world and when I see you, I run to you, screaming and begging for you to stay. You smile to me before stepping farther into the door. I run faster but you are getting farther and farther away until the door closes behind you and then I wake up, sweating and scared. After that I usually cry myself to sleep or stay up, afraid to go back to sleep.
I can't stand it.
-Time change-
Exhaustion. That's the only thing I can think of right now. I have been forcing myself to stay awake for three days, terrified to close my eyes, because I know that the only thing I will see is you.
But my body couldn't stand it anymore even if I commanded it to do so. That's how I finally fell asleep and when I saw the familiar scene, I immediately wished I hadn't.
-Time change-
I should have known it would be like any other time. I fell to my knees, not wanting to see him leave as tears burn my eyes.
"Aibou?" My body freezes at the sudden voice or was it the name that I longed to hear for so many years?
"Aibou?" the voice asks again, this time more worryingly and I can hear footsteps approaching me. I shake my head as I sob. This can't be happening, he didn't talk to me in my previous dreams.
My breath hitches in my throat as I feel a hand on my shoulder before someone lifts me gently on my feet. I close my eyes tightly, refusing to open them only to be disappointed for once again.
"Why do you cry, my little one?" he says before I feel fingers brushing against my cheeks to wipe the tears away and again I shook my head, eyes still closed.
"No. You are not real." I can hear a quiet, but sad sigh near my ear. Nothing could have prepared me however for what happened next.
-Time change-
I gasped as a pair of warm lips connected with mine. After a moment though the kiss became more hungry and out of instinct I parted my lips slightly. My action seemed to satisfy him as he purred in our kiss before I felt the all too familiar tongue passing through my parted lips and I couldn't help but moan. I felt him smirk on my lips and he deepened the kiss.
After a while though, the need for air became necessary and he broke the kiss. My eyes flattered open on their own and they instantly fell on his. His brilliant crimson orbs were more intense than ever as they observed my face.
-Time change-
"Am I real now, Aibou?" he asks with a smirk and my arms immediately wrap around him tight. I hear him chuckle as he returns the embrace with the same force, if not more tight.
"I missed you so much, my light." "I missed you more." I say before tears start running down my cheeks. He senses me tense and he pulls away to stare into my eyes. "What is it, little one?" "You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this to happen, but I know it is only a dream and when I wake up you will be gone."
He smiles once he hears that and I can only blink questioningly at him. "Wake up then." He says casually with a shrug. "What?! Atem are you insane?! I can't, don't want-" I mumble but he places a finger on my lips to silence me.
"Close your eyes and you will wake up. I promise you that I will be right there with you when you open your eyes. Trust me." I always trusted him and he knows that, but I am so frightened of losing him just when I found him.
"Ok." I say hesitantly and close my eyes, but not before taking a final look at him and he smiles assuredly at me.
-Time change-
Before I even opened my eyes, I knew I was awake as I could feel the softness of the couch I fall asleep on. I jumped when I felt strong arms wrap themselves around my waist and I opened my eyes.
"See? I told you that I would be here before you have time to open your eyes." I smiled brightly and he pulled me up from the couch, against his leather-clad chest. "Atem, how-? I mean… how did you come back?"
His expression immediately tensed at my inquire. "The Gods allowed me to return-" I cut him off before he even finished his sentence. "But why only now? I was devastated without you." "I know Aibou and believe me, I felt exactly the same. But I thought that in time you would forget me, although I knew that I would never be able to do that. It was tearing me apart seeing you dyeing from the inside and I knew that, both of us, couldn't take it anymore and-"
"How could you think that I would ever forget you, Yami? That was imp…-" His lips were once again on mine to shush me and I could feel myself instantly relaxing. "Aibou, please let me finish and then you can ask me anything you want." he said once he had pulled away. I nod at him.
"As I was saying, that was when I went to the Gods to ask for help. They agreed to let me return to you, but only for a short time." My eyes widened at that and tears were already gathering into them. "Y-you will leave?" I asked with a choked breath
He wiped my tears and smiled softly at me. "Silly Aibou. Of course I will leave, and you are coming with me." I just stared at him, not believing what he had just said but his wide grin was the proof that he was saying the truth. I squealed happily and pushed myself into his arms. He laughed at my enthusiasm and hugged me back as he kissed my hair.
"But how? Am I allowed to do that?" "After what we did for the world for so many years, Ra was more than happy to help us." He pulled away to look into my eyes before he kissed me softly on the forehead, causing me to giggle. "Come, little one. We don't have much time." He said and started chatting a strange spell in a language that I was sure it was Egyptian.
When he was finished, a door filled with light appeared out of nowhere, making me yelp in surprise. He left my side and stepped towards the door, stopping only a few inches away from the entrance. He turned to look at me and smiled. I gasped. That was exactly like my dream, the way he left me in my dream.
"You coming, love?" he asked and outstretched his hand for me. I let out a sigh of relief. Scratch that. That wasn't like my nightmare at all. It was my paradise. I smiled as took his hand and he pulled me close to his side. "Promise you will never leave me again." I said pleadingly. He kissed gently my lips before pulling back with a warm smile on his face. "I promise." "Come my favorite children, we have been waiting for you." A voice said from the inside of the light and I jumped, earning a chuckle from Atem.
"Let's go, my hikari." He said and I nodded in agreement. With that, we stepped into the door together, leaving the rest of the world behind us forever as the door for the afterlife closed.