Picking Up The Pieces

by gallifreyanideologies

Emmett has just left Victoria. How does she cope with her feelings?

"Emmett escaped from prison disguised as me. In my wig, in my coat, in my shoes.''

Her heart, shattered into what felt like a million pieces. Victoria couldn't breathe, her throat closed up, and she soon was choking as she attempted to breathe. She wanted to cry, cry until she could cry no more. Melanie hands her a paper bag, and Joy takes Victoria in her arms, in an attempt to calm her.

'It's alright Victoria, we're here. I'm here. Melanie's going to go get your sleeping pills, and I'm going to take you upstairs, alright?'

Victoria nods, that was all she could do. She was too much in pain to talk, but she welcomed Melanie and Joy's help. After all, they were her friends. After this, all she wanted to do is crawl into her bed, and sleep the day away. Joy leads her upstairs, and into her bedroom. She grabs a nightgown for Victoria, and quietly helps her undress. Helping Victoria into her bed, Melanie arrives with a glass of water, and the pill.

'Here you go, Victoria,' the usually chirrupy brunette said, handing her both items. She herself was still in shock over her own news. Joy, however, had the most positive news of the bunch, but because she knew Victoria was struggling, she kept it to herself. Someday, when Victoria was better she'd tell her all about it. But right now, it just wasn't the right time.

Victoria takes the pill, and drinks the water. Setting it on her nightstand, she slips under the covers, pulling the comforter over her head. She was ready to just peace out. Melanie and Joy exit the room, with Melanie taking the glass off the nightstand. They exit quietly, as to let Victoria sleep. Closing the door, Melanie turns to Joy.

'I've never seen Victoria like this ever,' she whispers as she and Joy walk downstairs. Joy had to admit, she hadn't ever seen Victoria like this either. Victoria was so hurt and so vulnerable. Joy could see the pain in her eyes.

'Me neither,' Joy says, trying to smile. Melanie smiles back, and replies, 'I think this was the first time Victoria actually had real, true feelings.'

Joy nods, adding, 'I have to agree. I think she really felt something for Emmett, and this is why this time is so hard. I sympathize with what she's going through. Victoria's never going to trust Emmett again,' she said, picking up a glass, pouring straight vodka in the glass. Hell, she needed a drink. Although she wished Victoria was here to share it with her.

'Pregnant?' Melanie repeated the word over again. It didn't make sense. She thought she was done with children. Her relationship with Alec ended over that reason, and now she was pregnant?

Joy put an arm around Melanie. 'We're here, don't worry. Victoria will be in her own way, Elka's well…Elka. And I'll be here. That's what friends are for.'

The petite brunette nods, and Joy sips her drink, noting the strength of the vodka. This wasn't her vodka; this had to be Elka's. However, it packed a punch, and she smiles, taking a sip of the drink.

'This is strong,' she remarks, 'however; it will do the trick, especially with all the wackiness that has occurred today.'

Elka smiles warmly, and both Joy and Elka sip from their glasses. After this day, it was necessary. After this day, it was necessary. Joy reaches into her handbag, pulling out a carton of cigarettes. Glaring at her disapprovingly, Elka says to Joy, 'I thought you quit.' Joy shrugs, and replies, 'I did what you suggested. I smoke and drink…in moderation. But don't tell Melanie I still smoke, alright? Only you and Victoria know about it and Melanie hates when I smoke. She sticks one in her mouth, and sighs as she fumbles for her lighter. Lighting it, she takes a quick drag from the cigarette, then exhales, sending the stream of smoke across the room. It was a good thing Melanie had gone to the farmers market to get things for their dinner, because, Joy was starved. After today, she could go for something good to eat, a good drink and a cigarette. She had two out of the three, so she was satisfied. But something was missing. She was missing Victoria's presence. But she knew that Victoria was hurting, especially after what Emmett had done to her. Joy had been there, done that way too many times, and wished she didn't have to experience it ever again. She knew and could sympathize with how Victoria felt, because with Kyle, that was exactly what Emmett did to Victoria…except Victoria had actually married him before he took off. She wondered what Victoria was going to do about that part. If she were Victoria, she would have requested an annulment. But, it wasn't up to her to decide. The decision would be all Victoria's, when she was emotionally ready to deal with it. Joy takes another drag of her cigarette, sending another clear stream of smoke before dabbing it out in an ashtray. She had to clear the kitchen of smoke, as Melanie was to come home soon. Opening the windows, she sighs. It was going to be a long week.

Just as she realizes her wig was gone, she finds the spot next to her in bed empty. Emmett was missing, and her wig was gone. Sitting up in bed, she remembers that she still was naked under the covers. Quickly, she places the covers over her naked body and turns to look at the pile of clothing on the ground. It was all hers and none left of Emmett's. But one thing was missing…and that was her coat.

Piecing the puzzle together, she realizes that her wig, her coat and the shoes she had worn were gone.

Gone, nowhere in sight. Fuck, she remembered those shoes weren't hers. How was she to explain the disappearance of the Jimmy Choo shoes? How?

Victoria, hours later, awakens from her sleep and is extremely disoriented. She had completely forgotten the side effects of these pills. But she did feel better, kind of. She reaches for her robe, slipping it over her nightgown, tying it carefully. Clutching her throbbing head, she groans.

Oh good lord, I forgot how strong these pills are.

She exits her bedroom, and heads towards the stairs. Carefully, she walks down the stairs, only to find Joy and Melanie sitting on the couch, with cups of tea in their hands. They look up to notice Victoria has at last awakened, and smiled.

'Hello there, Victoria…feeling better?'

Melanie was worried about how Victoria was coping with this all. She seemed almost stoned from what Melanie could assess. Joy sensed Victoria was trying to hide her pain; she was always the better one of the two of them, as she had spent enough time with Victoria lately and quite often throughout their entire friendship to know that when Victoria was hurt, she was best at hiding how she was truly feeling.

Victoria forces a smile. She didn't want to let on to anything. Mostly because she knew how good Melanie was at picking up if something was wrong.

'I'm fine, 'she mutters, and heads towards the kitchen. She needed a Tylenol badly. But Melanie, dear sweet, sometimes naive, but very brave Melanie replies.

'Victoria, are you sure? We know that I'm fine in girl language is code for I'm not fine. You know you can tell me, I'll listen.'

Victoria, agitated by Melanie's attempt to push her feelings out, replies, quite irritated, 'I don't want to talk about it.'

And she silently heads into the kitchen to get a Tylenol for that damn headache that plagued her. But instead, she flops on her bed.

'Where the fuck did I go wrong?' Victoria says out loud to herself. She clasps the comforter in her hands, drawing it closer to her. All she wanted was someone to love her, hold her and accept her for who she is. Victoria Chase, former soap actress turned news anchor on the number three channel in Cleveland. She thought she had found that in Emmett, but clearly she didn't. Remembering that night before he disappeared was just too painful for her right now. How could he do this to her? Did he even love her? She was angry because, if he didn't want the marriage, he should have said so. Just at reopening that fresh wound again, Victoria fumbles in her purse for her cigarettes. She needed something to calm her down because right now, she could punch a hole in her wall with all the anger she had. Reaching for her lighter and her cigarette, she sticks it in her mouth, furiously lighting her cigarette. She inhales, then exhales, sending a stream of smoke across her bedroom. Just as she is about to take another drag, a knock comes at her door. Victoria really hoped it wasn't Melanie, because Melanie hated when she or Joy smoked. To Melanie's knowledge, she and Joy had told her that they had quit their smoking habits.

'Who is it?' Victoria says, her fingers dangling the half smoked Marlboro, tapping the stray ashes into the heart shaped tray that her actress daughter Emmy made her when she was a kid. A reply came from behind the door.

'It's Joy, Victoria.'

Victoria smiled. 'Come in, Joy.'

Joy opens the door to be greeted with the smell of Marlboro.

'Jeez Victoria, you know how Melanie is about our smoking.' She quickly shuts the door behind her so nothing got out of Victoria's room. Victoria pulls a cigarette out for Joy, holding it out.

'Would you like one?'

Joy takes it from her smiling. 'It's my second one today. Elka caught me with the first one, 'she says and Victoria raises her eyebrow to which Joy then quickly reassures her, 'Elka promised me she wouldn't tell…after all, it's in exchange for not telling Melanie that she and Mamie Sue went to Canada for prescriptions last weekend. 'Victoria sighs in relief, lighting Joy's cigarette. They stick their cigarettes in their mouths, and simultaneously inhale, then exhale, sending streams of smoke across Victoria's room.

'Elka's known about my smoking for months, 'Victoria says, taking another hit off her cigarette, then continues, 'She caught me smoking in my car.'

Joy nods. 'Melanie would have a fit if she found out we never quit smoking. Do you still smoke weed?'

Victoria reaches in her drawer, pulling out a baggie. 'Sometimes I do, but not very often.'

They share a laugh together, their first since the whole situation yesterday. Victoria reaches over to touch Joy's hand.

'Thanks for being there yesterday, I'm really glad you were there.'

Joy smiles, squeezing Victoria's hand gently. 'You're welcome. Victoria, I've been there but it will get better, trust me.'

Victoria nods, resting her head against Joy's shoulder. 'I sure hope so because I can't take this feeling anymore.'

Joy remembers those exact words, as she had said the same ones twenty odd years earlier. She then replies to Victoria, 'Take your time, there's no rush and if you find someone, that's great…but if I were you, I'd take your time because you're not ready. This situation with Emmett has left you really hurt and vulnerable…you loved him, didn't you?'

Victoria nods, her cheeks, streaming with real tears.

'Yes, 'she mouths. Joy pulls Victoria in her arms, hugging her.

'It will be alright, Tori. I'm here.'

Victoria smiles, and the two of them sit in silence for a moment on the bed until Joy says,' Do you want to go out, maybe do something fun? I think it would do both you and me some good to get out of the house, and put on our clubbing clothing and get some drinks, and live it up just like old times.'

Victoria takes a drag from the last of the cigarette, and sighs. 'Maybe it would do me some good. It's better than lying around and blaming myself for everything.'

Joy leans forward to brush a stray bang away from Victoria's face. 'Now that's the Victoria I know.'

Victoria dabs the cigarette in the ashtray, turning to Joy. 'Let's do this.'

The two women laughed, and Victoria gets up and heads to her closet. She was going to do this. At her age, most would write her off or even Joy as some middle aged women clinging on to their youth. But, Victoria always felt that just because they were no longer in their twenties and thirties, it didn't mean that they had to automatically suck. She had Elka as inspiration, as did Joy and Melanie. Elka at her age showed them that you can still live it up. Victoria goes through her wardrobe and settles on a cutaway dress that showed all her best features. Trying it on, she eyes herself in the mirror.

'Still got it, 'she says as she manages a smile.

Stirring her drink for what felt like the thousandth time, Victoria sits at a table, waiting patiently for Joy to come back with their food and drinks. They were at Stormi's, their neighborhood bar. It was a staple in the girls' lives for the past three years since they had moved, and to Victoria it felt like a second home. Victoria opted for the strongest drink they had, although Joy desperately tried to get her to realize that she really should be careful, considering Victoria had taken half a pill of Zoloft. But, stubborn as usual, Victoria takes the half of the pill, and drinks it down with a club soda. At the moment, Victoria is feeling numb. The pill must be working wonders because she's not emoting. It's as if it all is held in. Victoria sighs, taking a drink of her Bloody Mary…complete with extra vodka. Just as she sips her drink, Joy comes back over to the table, holding her drink. She stumbles into the booth across from Victoria, and smiles.

'Food should be here shortly, I ordered us some fries, done just the way you like them and some grilled chicken…hope you're hungry.'

Victoria smiles as she sips her drink. 'I'm famished. I think the last thing I ate was right before…you know.'

Victoria stops herself, but Joy knew what she was saying. She reaches over to grab Victoria's hand.

'It'll get better, trust me. But right now, let's have a few drinks and then head out to some of the local clubs here. It will do us some good to get out and dance to get our mind off these last few days.'

Victoria enters the correctional facility, nervous as hell. It was six months and seven days after the disappearance of Emmett. Her team of lawyers, and a private investigator had contacted her to tell her they had discovered Emmett, who had tried to use one of Victoria's credit cards, thinking that because they were married, that he had a right to her finances. The moment he was discovered, they told her to be prepared to face him in court. And by that point, she had decided and finally made up her mind. Victoria was divorcing him. He had hurt her not physically, or mentally, but he had hurt her emotionally. Looking back at what had happened months earlier, she realizes how manipulative Emmett was. And Julian was completely right; she shouldn't have to change and be something she wasn't. She is who she is, and could not change…didn't need to change. She had changed in the fact that she had become stronger and wiser. She had let herself fall too hard and fall too fast, and now she was reeling and hurting. She had been hurting so badly that she was finding it some days very hard to cope with her emotions. Victoria had never cried real tears, well, not in many years. She used too many artificial tears, and not enough real tears. Daily, she suffered severe migraines just from all the crying she had done. Melanie would sit there with her for hours, consoling her; being the rock she so needed right now. Joy even sat there and joined at times, and it was therapeutic for Victoria. She goes to the guard, and he acknowledges her, and goes to find Emmett. Soon enough, he appears with Emmett, who looked quite worn and awfully nervous. Well, he should be…they hadn't encountered each other since that day.

'Hello, Victoria,' Emmett says calmly. 'I have an inkling why you're here, and I understand that you're upset at me. I had to my love, they were going to press more charges and…'

Emmett stops there, trailing off. Victoria takes that opportunity to cut in and get out what she needed to say, what she desperately wanted to say. Taking a deep breath, she lets it out, letting her words fly out like swift daggers.

'You lied to me, Emmett. You fucking lied to me! How am I to trust you if all you do is tell me half ass lies and then hide the fact that you avoided paying your taxes and were facing jail? You hid that ex-wife of yours. And you had the nerve to hide from the cops by stealing my wig and coat and even my identity. I'm seeking a divorce, because, I'm done. My last marriages, including Joy...'

She turns to her best friend and close confidant, and recent ex-wife, and then turns back to Emmett, gritting her teeth.

Continuing, Victoria then says,' I never made them feel needed; I was too absorbed in myself to really realize that there was someone who needed me or wanted me. I put up walls. You broke those walls down, convinced me that you actually did want to be with me, and then proceeded to hurt me in so many ways. I cried when we were apart. This time, I finally experienced what they felt. And it hurt. It hurt me so fucking much that I felt like every bone in my body shattered into a million pieces. I felt as if everything was collapsing around me. I turned to alcohol and sleeping pills. I started smoking again because of all the fucking hell you put me through. I hate you Emmett. I fucking hate you. Go to hell.'

She turns away from Emmett, and walks away proudly. She feels empowered by what she had just done. Joy runs after her to catch up with her, and they exit the courtroom, and outside into the Cleveland winter. Victoria spies a nearby bench, and sits down, staring out into the snow covered woods that surrounded the courthouse. Joy parks herself next to Victoria, and takes her hand, squeezing it gently. Victoria reaches with her other hand for a cigarette and a lighter, and fumbles to put it in her mouth. She lights it, and tosses the lighter in her purse. Taking a slow drag from her cigarette, she inhales deeply, and then exhales, sending a sleek stream of smoke across the way, and away from Joy.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she speaks, barely above a whisper.

'I did it, Joy. For the first time, I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself.'

Joy smiles sweetly, again squeezing her hand. 'Simon and I are here for you and Melanie too. And you know Elka; she'll be there in her own way.'

Victoria takes another drag from her cigarette. 'Thanks, I appreciate it. All of what you guys have done for me. You put up with me when I wasn't myself, and took care of me when I needed it even though at times it seemed like I didn't want help. It's so hard to admit I need help.'

Joy put an arm around her friend's shoulder.

'I know.'

Victoria drops the cigarette butt to the ground, stomping it out with her heels.

'Let's go home, 'she says, slinging her handbag over her shoulder.

Joy had been there where Victoria was emotionally, done that and didn't really want to go through it again. She knew how Victoria felt, because that situation always happened. She'd find someone she really liked, opened up to them and then the next moment, she was tossed away like yesterday's news and left to pick up the pieces of her already fragile heart. She smiles at Victoria, taking her hand gently, her fingers linking with Victoria's. They walk to the car in silence, Joy thinking about how she really hoped to god that Simon would stay in her life longer this time. But then, she remembers, it wasn't her fault at all that he was pushed out of her life as a teen. Her mother did that to her, and although she knew her mother meant well at the time, she felt that not only her father's absence in her life, plus the fact that Simon just left mysteriously, was the driving force in her troubles with men. That, and she was feeling so disinterested most times that she wondered why she even put herself through it all. Maybe it was because she was jealous of Melanie. But why should she be? Melanie's been divorced for nearly four years now, and has only had two long term relationships since Anders, her ex-husband. And Victoria, she's never really had much of an interest in marriage to men, she had five ex-husbands, and an ex-wife. But she did notice how much different Victoria was with her versus the others. Victoria treated her a lot differently. Well, not technically five ex-husbands any more considering she did marry Emmett. Joy sighed, and got in the car as did Victoria. Just as Victoria was starting the engine, she broke down, crying.

Joy silently took Victoria's hand, and Victoria looked at her, her eyes tear stained. Silently, Victoria mouthed, 'Thank you.'

Joy smiled, and rested her head against Victoria's shoulder. She then said quietly, 'Want me to drive?'

Victoria nods silently. She knew she was in no condition to drive.

As Joy drives them home, Victoria stares out the window, watching the snow fall, and admiring the Christmas lights strung on many of her neighbors' homes. Victoria barely knew her neighbors; she was much too busy with her news job, and everything surrounding it to really make time to know them. Sighing, she continues to watch as Joy makes turns that led into their neighborhood. Victoria looks at the lights on their house that they shared with Elka and Melanie, and smiled. The Christmas tree peered out the window, brightly lit and Joy notes that there's a star missing.

'Oh, I guess they're waiting for one of us to put it up,' she remarks, chuckling a little. Victoria looks at Joy and smiles.

'Do you-do you have any plans for Christmas?'

Joy shrugs. 'Not really…you?'

Victoria replies,'Nah, Emmy's busy with her baby and new husband in Paris and Oscar is in Cancun and Tony…well, he hasn't spoken to me since I've moved to Cleveland.'

Joy nods, taking Victoria's hand in hers.

'Well, you have me.'