"Would you kindly get me your strongest beer?" The shadowy figure asked. Sitting down on the barstool, the figure tapped it's fingers impatiently.
I've never seen that person before. It was impossible to tell who they were under their oversized Stetson hat. I'll call them a 'he' from now on. He wore a large poncho or cape type thing over most of his body, covering his torso; a wide brimmed brown Stetson; and brown cargo pants that were a tight fit on -Never mind, that's a girl- her curvaceous legs well. She was smoking a cigar. One of her arms seemed to be... cybernetic(?) and her hair was brown, short, and messy.
And she's got a six-shot revolver.
Just like-
I shook my head rapidly.
No way she's Deadeye McCree.
Right?
"Well? I said I wanted a beer! C'mon! Hurry it up!" She banged her cybernetic arm on the table, scowling furiously.
"Yes, sorry. Just a moment." The bartender said hurriedly. He began getting a drink ready.
"And make sure it's the strongest stuff you got." she said gruffly, sitting back down.
I stood up, packing up my laptop. I wasn't willing to stay near Deadeye herself, if that was indeed who she was.
She noticed me leaving, and subtly tapped her gun; meeting my eye. I got the message.
.
.
.
I ignored it.
I sat down next to her.
I'm going all the way.
This guy sits down next to me.
When I tapped my gun a second ago, I was telling him to leave.
Grr...
Whelp, if he's volunteering to be my hostage.
She pointed her gun at my head.
"Everybody, freeze!" she shouted.
"You better not run." She whisper-shouted to me.
"Ha! I live for days like this!" I whisper-shouted back.
I sat down, acting as if she wanted me to do that, and she played along.
I subtly showed her a piece of scrap paper.
It read 'Tell me to go online to hack the security cams.'
She nodded slightly.
"Oy, you! You good with computers?" She yelled, cocking her gun.
"Y-yeah, why?" I tried acting scared. I might have been cracking up slightly. I'm not sure.
"Can you hack?" She scowled a little more. I could tell she was trying not to crack up as well.
"A little..." I was holding my breath a little to keep the act up.
"Hack the cameras. I don't want law enforcement called yet." She looked at me a little funny. "What's wrong with you, boy?"
"I-I need my in-in-haler." I tried to look like I was going into some sort of panic attack or some shit.
"Well, get it!" she yelled,
"Oh-oh-okay.." I scrambled over to my backpack, took out my 'inhaler', and inhaled a big puff of evaporated morphine.
That calmed me down real quick.
I walked calmly back to my computer bag, bringing my backpack with me.
I set up my computer, and got to work.
I don't know a single thing about hacking, soo...
SKIP
Several hours later...
"Wow, that was the most fun I've had since that train wreck a couple years back!" I yell as we evade the coppers with ease.
"Me either!" he replies back.
Then he's suddenly invisible.
Then he's right in front of me, holding his hand out.
"Let's bounce!"
I grab his hand, and my vision is filled with neon green.
Let the McHanzo shippers weep in agony!