Bad day!

Emily sighed as she walked through her door to her apartment in London, coming back from a long day at work. She was tired and felt sick and the only thing she wanted was a glass of wine, so she headed to the kitchen to pour herself a glass.

She missed her team a lot and she'd talk to them as much as possible about work and their personal lives, not that any of them had much of one because of the jobs they do.

She had already spoken to most of her team today but she wanted to speak to them all so she had called Rossi but he didn't answer so she tried Hotch, hoping Rossi would call back soon.

Emily hadn't eaten today and had a massive headache, she grabbed a bottle of water and swallowed the pill just as Hotch answered.

'Hey Hotch...' Emily started, the pill hadn't helped and she was starting to feel more sick.

'Hey Emily, how are you?' Hotch asked.

Emily was about to answer when she hurled, she ran to the bathroom and answered Hotch 'mhm...' she said, afraid to talk.

Emily rubbed her tummy trying to get rid of the feeling.

'Are you sure you're okay Emily?' Hotch asked.

'Yea just felt a bit sick, anyway how was your day?' Emily asked, she wanted to be in the bathroom if she was sick.

'Have you eaten today?' Hotch asked concerned.

'I had a little snack yea... We were busy today...had no time' Emily said and then felt another sudden wave of nausea hit her, she bent over the toilet, being sick.

Hotch made a face when he heard Emily be sick and he really wished he was there to help her, get her anything she needed.

Emily coughed and she was more sick "why do I have to be sick when I'm on the phone to Hotch?"

Once Emily was done she washed her face, got herself a glass of water and then brushed her teeth 'oh my god, I'm sorry' Emily said weakly.

'Why? You have nothing to be sorry for Emily, you were sick, there is no need to apologize' Hotch told her and then asked softly 'are you feeling better now?' he was really worried about her now.

'Yea I'm feeling better, I'm sorry I wanted to talk to you, not be sick' Emily said to him.

'It's alright Emily, why don't you go lie down in bed and we can still talk. You need to eat as well' he reminded her.

'I will do, thanks' Emily said weakly and then walked into her room and got into bed 'Okay I'm in bed now'

Hotch smiled and said 'okay are you comfortable?'

'Very' Emily sighed happily.

'Okay so what did you want to talk to me about?' Hotch asked, Emily started biting her nails nervously and he sighed 'don't bite your nails Emily' he said in a warning tone.

'How did you know?' Emily pouted.

Hotch smiled slightly and answered 'I know you, now tell me what's going on'

'I just wanted to talk to you...' she said and then Emily answered him with a sad sigh 'I'm having a bad day... Actually more of a bad week' Emily started 'oh sorry can I still talk to you when I have a bad day? I know you're not my boss anymore but...'

'Emily of course it's okay, talk to me when you want and need. My phone is always on. Why are you having a bad week?' Hotch asked

Emily was tempted to bite her nails again so she bit her lip instead and took a deep breath 'Tomorrow...' she started weakly, sounding broken.

Hotch felt bad for Emily, he didn't think he had ever heard her sound so broken and fragile before, she was always so strong and confident that it shocked him to hear her so quiet, it also reminded him that she was just hiding behind a shell and hiding the real her.

'What is happening tomorrow?' he asked softly.

Emily cleared her throat and sighed she was tired and now she didn't want to tell him, but since she had already started she would try and tell him what was going on. 'Um... I'm alone?' she asked.

'Emily what is really going on, you weren't going to tell me that you were alone, I already know that. You're doing really well' Hotch tried to encourage her.

Emily sighed again and started again 'tomorrow is the anniversary of... When I was 15, I got pregnant and I had an abortion...' Emily told him, letting him figure out the rest.

It took Hotch a moment to get over his shock, but when he did he felt bad for Emily 'oh Emily I'm so sorry'

'Hotch you have nothing to be sorry for, I was too young to have a baby and I wasn't ready but I still regret it everyday' Emily told him, a few tears going down her face as she pulled up the covers.

'I'm still sorry' Hotch said back.

'so am I... I took my baby's life, that's not fair' Emily said quietly, a few more tears going down her face.

'It's not your fault Emily' Hotch replied, he didn't like the pain he could hear in her voice.

'It is and I feel so bad' Emily told Hotch in a haunted whisper, she was trying not to cry any more than she already had but she had kept these emotions and feelings in a long time so now that she had started crying she knew she wouldn't stop anytime soon, even if she wanted them to.

Hotch didn't know what to say and he wanted to comfort her in some way but he didn't know how or what to do. He could tell that Emily was hurting and he felt there was nothing he could do. 'Do you need anything Emily? Can I help you in any way?' Hotch asked, hoping there was something.

Emily cleared her throat and took a deep breath, shaking her head 'no...' Emily answered and Hotch sighed in defeat 'you've done enough, thanks for listening, that's all you can do so you've done everything there is'

'Are you sure?' Hotch asked again.

'Yea I'm sure... thank you though, for everything' Emily thanked him again.

FINISHED!