I apologize in advance for the quality of this story. I had this idea in mind and have been dying to post it on Halloween. Have been tinkering with it today, but amidst me being sick with a cold and answering the door for trick-or-treaters, my focus wasn't at 100%. (I might go back in tomorrow morning and make any major corrections and edits...) But I still hope it turned out alright. (Big thanks to SnowboundMermaid on her costume suggestion for Barney and Robin!) Hope you all enjoy and feedback is always appreciated!
Ted and Tracy walked up to Marshall and Lily's apartment door, able to hear the sounds of music and chatter from the other side. Excited, Ted adjusted the pince-nez spectacles on his nose while Tracy lifted Penny's fuzzy brown hoodie over her head.
Satisfied, they looked at one another. Finally having someone for a couple's costume was amazing, Ted thought. But this?
"Best family costume ever?" he asked, lifting up his palm.
Tracy grinned. "You bet it is!" she said, reaching a hand up to high-five his.
This was way better.
They pushed open the unlocked door and walked in, the place filled with Halloween revellers. The building still hosted its usual rooftop party, but the Eriksens knew it'd be difficult (and dangerous) maneuvering the kids up and down the fire escape, so they decided to put together a smaller gathering inside.
Lily spotted them immediately.
"Hey, you two!" she cried happily, rushing over to them. Her hair was up, she had a faux scruffy beard on, her face slightly muddied. Dark jeans, button-up shirt rolled at the sleeves, and a brown vest completed the ensemble.
"Who are you supposed to be?" Ted asked curiously.
"Quit always being so pop culturally ignorant, Mosby!" Lily said, exasperated. Because for all the facts he knew about history, literature and architecture, he knew little about what was "in" at the moment—especially after becoming a father. Unless it was about the upcoming Star Wars movies. Or Pizza Rat. "I'm Owen Grady from Jurassic World!"
Tracy laughed gleefully. (She was always more in-the-know than Ted.) "That's amazing! Oh my God, is Marshall in a red wig and heels somewhere?" she said, looking around the room eagerly.
"And the kids are little velociraptors," she said with a grin. "He took them trick-or-treating to a couple of buildings down the block, but should be back in a bit. Here, gimme your coats; I'll toss them in the bedroom."
Ted and Tracy awkwardly unbundled themselves and Penny from their fall jackets and handed them over to Lily, who rushed away hurriedly as quickly as she had appeared. They smoothed down their costumes, the full scope of it clear now that their jackets were off.
"We are so going to blow everyone's minds'" Ted whispered confidently, tucking his hands in his suit jacket pockets.
"Hey, who are you guys supposed to be?"
Ted and Tracy turned around at the voice behind them, finding Barney and Robin in a pair of pirate costumes. Robin was dark and sexy in black above-the-knee boots, black leggings, a black bodice and a fiery red bandana. Barney, for his part, was a bit more flamboyant with his outfit, with a varied array of colours, but still looking sharp and meticulous.
Ted frowned. "Dude, I'm Teddy Roosevelt" he responded, looking down at his suit, adjusting his fake mustache. He thought it was obvious.
"Right!" Robin said, all grins. "Actually putting that new dadbod of yours to work, huh?" She poked him in the large belly.
"It's a pillow!" he said defensively, shooing her hand away disapprovingly. "Anyway, Tracy is my First Lady, Edith."
Tracy spun around in her green dress, a pretty decent imitation of the First Lady's inaugural gown.
"And this," she cooed, bouncing Penny in her arms. "Is the bear Roosevelt..." Pause. "Um, killed... humanely?" She looked at Ted. "Babe, I don't think we thought her costume through."
"Nah, she's perfect," he assured her, then looked back at his friends. "What are you, Barney? A gay pirate?"
Barney scoffed, and adjusted his red cravat, smoothing down his green jacket and gold sash. "Um, I'm the swashbuckling Captain Calico Jack: he knew how to suit up on the high seas and had a way with the ladies." He reached out an arm and pulled Robin to him. "And this is his old lady, Anne Bunny, a kickass pirate in her own right..."
"It's Bonny, babe," Robin corrected him.
"Doesn't matter," Barney said dismissively, looking dreamily at some fixed point on the other side of the living room. "All that matters is that he was awesome and he rode the pirate tricycle. He got both Anne here and some other chick pregnant!"
"Hey, I've heard of them!" Tracy said. "But the other female pirate, Mary, she got pregnant by some guy aboard a captured ship. Not Jack."
"Yeah, there's no evidence he ever had sex with Mary," Ted added. "She dressed as a man while on his ship, so Jack didn't know she was a woman for a long while."
Barney's black-lined eyes widened. "He couldn't even recognize a woman when she was standing right in front of him?!" He looked over at his wife helplessly. "Scherbatsky: you said he was awesome! It's the only reason I agreed to dress up as this dude!"
"He was awesome," Robin insisted, shooting Tracy a glare. "Ok, so he never rode the tricycle, but he definitely stole Anne from under her husband's nose. And they sailed the Caribbean together as partners and lovers—they were still totally cool! I swear!"
Robin looked at Ted and Tracy, her eyes begging them to help diffuse the situation. "Hey, look at Tracy's dress!" Ted announced, trying to change the subject and get Barney's attention away from Jack Rathham. "She sewed it together herself!"
"Wow, it looks so great, hon!" Robin enthused, one part genuinely, the other part relieved to have the topic of conversation away from the pirates.
"Edith did have an incredible sense of style!" Tracy admitted. "I actually toyed with the idea of maybe going as Alice Lee, his first wife who died in childbirth, but she was just a little more than a footnote in Teddy's life."
Ted scoffed. "Babe, while I agree that Edith is a more well-known figure, you can't just dismiss Alice like that."
"But she died after four years of marriage, Pooh Bear," Tracy pointed out. "The Roosevelts were married for over 30 years!"
"Hey, quit fighting over a boring history lesson, and let us see your for adorable kid," Barney said, trying to reach for Penny.
Ted ignored him. "But Alice was the mother of his first child. And he never got over her death."
"Well, he was able to move on after an appropriate amount of time, so..."
"When she passed away, he wrote that the light had gone out of his life," Ted explained, the wistful and romantic part of him shining through. "One never gets over that. C'mon, babe, you've been through what he went through; you can't be that heartless about the role Alice played in his life."
Ted saw Tracy react slightly to his words; he even noticed both Robin and Barney flinch a bit. He quickly realized how his words must've sounded. "Sweetie, I didn't mean it like that. But—" he began, trying to apologize.
"Sorry, guys," she said abruptly, ignoring Ted now, and turning to look at the Stinsons. "I need to duck out for a few moments; this adorable teddy bear has a date with my boobs."
Lily walked up to the group just as Tracy was talking. "Aw, honey," she said playfully. "You don't need to tell us yours and Ted's weird kinks."
She laughed at her own joke, not noticing the awkward silence among the rest of the group.
"Can I use your bedroom, Lil?" Tracy asked.
"Yeah, of course!"
"I can come with..." Ted offered.
"No, I'm good," Tracy said coolly, her focus on the baby, and walked away in the direction of Marshall and Lily's room without a second thought.
The four of them stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to say, Ted absolutely devastated that he had visibly upset—nay, practically insulted—Tracy.
He stood there dumbly, not sure what to do next, as the gang pondered how to console him.
"You know," Barney began, looking at his friend, trying to be helpful. "Calico Jack was never stupid enough to say something like that to Anne. Sucks to be you, bro."
"Hey," Ted said softly, pushing open the door to Marshall and Lily's bedroom a little while later. Tracy was sitting on the bed among a sea of coats, her back against the headboard. She seemed to be done with feeding Penny, who was just happily wriggling about in Tracy's arms, her bear costume tossed aside. "You done?"
"Yeah," Tracy told him, not looking at him. "Just sitting here."
"Well, you're missing out on quite a party," Ted began, cautiously walking towards them. "Marshall got back and tripped over his heels, and the boobs of some woman dressed as Eliza Hamilton broke his fall. Now her boyfriend as Alexander Hamilton is challenging Marshall to a duel through rap."
She didn't react.
Ted nodded, and sat down on the bed now. Penny excitedly reached for her father, arms outstretched, and Ted picked her up eagerly.
Both he and Tracy spent a few moments focusing on Penny, and Ted was grateful for the distraction so that he could gather his thoughts before speaking. He cleared his throat.
"Tracy, I'm really sorry for what I said out there," he said earnestly. "It was just horribly insensitive of me. Can we just forget about it?"
Tracy finally looked up at him, the hurt in her eyes still plain as day. "I can't really forget about it," she said, stalling briefly before continuing with her thought. "You not only made a gross assumption about my feelings over Max's death, but you also undermined my feelings for you."
"Your feelings about me?!" he exclaimed, confused. "I never insinuated—"
"Yes, you did," she responded calmly. "You just... By implying that Max played a major role in my life, your reducing your role as something minor in comparison."
Ted frowned. "I didn't mean it like that," he assured her, reaching a hand to tenderly touch her knee. "Baby, I know you love me."
"Yeah, but does one part of you think I love you less?"
Ted never thought that. He knew the impact Max's death played on Tracy's life, but he was always pretty confident in their relationship. In the past two-and-a-half years, he truly never pondered whether she loved Ted more or less or differently than she had Max. He knew Tracy loved him—and loved him ardently—in the here and now, and that was enough for him.
"Tracy, no. Absolutely not," he whispered.
"Because, yeah, I miss Max," she continued, her voice cracking slightly. "But I would be much more devastated if anything happened to you. To this." She motioned at the three of them.
Ted swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew that anxiety, occasionally fearing that this perfect life would one day disappear. "I would be devastated if anything happened to you, too," he confirmed, sliding his hand up her leg and relieved when Tracy reached for it. "Which is why, I guess, I came to Alice's defense. You are the love of my life, Tracy; I'd hold you up on a pedestal if you weren't around anymore. And if I ever remarried—which I seriously doubt I would—my second wife would totally pale in comparison. In every category."
His fiancée finally laughed, and he did too, and the tension in the air had quickly disappeared. "Aw, c'mon, cut your future second wife some slack. She just may surprise you: she could be prettier than me. Taller than me. Funnier than me. Make tastier cookies than I do. Be better in bed than me..."
Ted just chuckled. "I highly doubt that."
Tracy nodded her head in agreement. "You're right. I totally kill it in the sack."
"Yes, you do. But doubtful because there won't ever be a second wife. We're stuck with each other until we're old, gray and wrinkled."
She smiled and leaned forward, her free hand reaching for Ted's expansive fake belly. "I like the sound of that," she admitted, brushing her lips with his, lingering a bit before pulling away, and pressing her lips on the top of Penny's head.
"So, we're good?" Ted asked, hopeful that things had been resolved, but still needing a confirmation. "I promise to never assume how you're feeling. And I will never call you heartless again. Frankly, you're the most loving and compassionate person I know."
"I appreciate that, Pooh Bear," she told him. "But yeah, we're good."
Ted smiled and stood up, Penny now having fallen asleep in his arms. "Alright, then: let's get back out there. Do you want to be the one to tell Barney what Anne said to Jack in his jail cell before he was sentenced to death, or should I?"
"Um, that if he had fought like a man he wouldn't be hanged like a dog?" she asked, crawling off the bed, as well. "I think it's my turn to bruise his ego a bit; I'll do it!"
"God, I love Halloween," Ted said as he pulled open the bedroom door and guided Tracy back into the living room, following right behind her.
END