WARNINGS: This isn't fluff. If you choose to read on be prepared for dark and adult themes including physical and sexual abuse, suicide and death. There will also be scenes with sexual content. Please don't continue if any of these themes offend you. I will not be posting any more warnings as I do not want to spoil the story. Thank you!

The training had been easy. To be fair, Defense had always come easy for him but Auror training had been especially so. Maybe it was because he shared the classes with only Ron, or maybe since the war things never would be as difficult. He supposed it had mostly to do with his passion for the subject but whatever the case, the two year long training period had been a delightful experience.

Therefore when his position at the Ministry was changed from mere trainee to apprentice and his assigned mentor was none other than Gawain Robards, head of the department, Harry was ecstatic. He woke up early on his first day of apprenticeship, dressed sharply and even attempted to smooth his hair down for once. Upon arriving at the Auror department in his freshly polished shoes and new robes, Harry may have expected some sort of welcome from his teacher but was instantly miffed when the man didn't even acknowledge his appearance.

"Good morning, sir!" Harry piped as he entered the older man's office. Robards was a stout grey haired individual with large white eyebrows and dark eyes. His robes were faded and old but clean and he sat at his mahogany desk reading the Daily Prophet. The room was stuffed with dusty books and papers and whirring sounds came from behind the man where a few magical detecting devices spun in place. Robards' eyes flicked once to examine Harry's form before glancing back down and continuing to stare at the Daily Prophet in his hand. After a few silent seconds Harry cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, sir, I'm sorry to bother you but…"

Robards merely grunted and gestured to a dusty wooden chair in the corner of the office. "You're early." he stated blandly.

"Um...I…."

"You're expected at half eight and it is currently twenty three after the hour." Robards didn't move, only his eyes seemed to fathom Harry's presence as he stared at him from above the paper.

"I thought that….."

"Over-eagerness may have been a quality you cultivated at school but in the real world it's considered rude. If you insist on being early tomorrow, stay outside of my office until you're due. I prefer to read without interruptions. Now sit."

Harry's mood crumpled like a chocolate frog that had been stomped on. He removed his shoulder bag and slumped into the chair the Auror had offered. Exactly seven minutes later, Gawain Robards folded his paper and sniffed before addressing Harry again.

"Alright, Potter, get up." Robards motioned for Harry to stand. "It was not my choice to have you as my pupil. As head of the department I don't have pupils. Or at least, I shouldn't, but unfortunately that option is not in my control anymore. As you may know, you and Mr. Weasley are our youngest apprentices since the fifties. Not by much, I'll have you know, Tonks was only a year older than you when she started. That being the case, it has been decided that you shall be best mentored by me directly instead of one of my subordinates, what with you being the Chosen One and all. That doesn't mean I'm going to be treating you with any favoritism due to your age or your past. While you are here do try to stay out of my way as I have a very important department to run. Now for your first task," he ruffled under his desk and removed a large steel box with no lid, "go prepare your cubicle. Clean it up, as the Ministry elves are not allowed in our offices." He shoved the box into Harry's arms. "You can put things that need to be discarded in here."

"Sir…?" Harry began.

"That will be all, Mr. Potter, thank you." And with a wave of his wand, Robards opened his office door without standing up and glared at Harry until he left.

The rest of the department was filled with brightly lit cubicles and flying paper airplanes delivering notes. There was a pleasant hum of chatter which brought Harry's spirits up just a bit. As annoyed and disheartened as he was from his first meeting, Harry told himself that Robards was just bothered with having an apprentice and not necessarily at Harry personally. However, the man still came off as an entitled arse. He hadn't even mentioned where this cubicle he was supposed to clean was inside the forest of little wooden offices that scattered across the department.

So, in order not to get in anyone else's way, Harry walked up and down the rows of the Auror headquarters until he found a small cubicle with a metal name tag plastered beside the doorway stating in clear gothic font:

H. J. Potter

If that simple headline filled him with pride and happiness his own office! then entering the little space proved to do the exact opposite. There was an oak desk, a few dead plants, and endless amounts of trinkets and doodads that varied from moving tiny owl figurines to a few large Sneakoscopes. It wasn't that the office held any negativity but the sheer neglect it had been left in gave Harry pause. Everything was covered in at least a centimeter of dust and he sneezed after performing a quick cleaning charm to remove it. He lit the large purple lamp on the desk and started to remove the strange items and scraps of paper from the surface. Clearly the cubicle had belonged to someone before him and whoever it was they hadn't been here for a while.

It didn't take much digging for him to discover the previous owner of the cluttered room. There was a smiling photograph of a familiar middle aged wizarding couple holding a young girl. They waved up at him from the frame and Harry noted that the small girl's hair color changed from neon green to red as he was surveying the photo. He grabbed the picture frame and fell into the leather chair behind the desk as he further examined the small faces grinning up at him. Nymphadora Tonks must have been only four or five in the photograph but her distinctive hair colors and broad smile were easy to distinguish. Trying not to cry, Harry used one hand to open the desk drawer while still holding onto the photo. As he began pulling belongings out he realized they became harder and harder to identify as tears started making his eyes go blurry.

A bright peacock feather quill, a pair of plastic muggle scissors that resembled the head and mouth of a fish, a few candy wrappers, a very ugly yellow headband, and finally a small bunch of parchment that looked to be owl letters. Harry unfolded the paper sadly and wiped his face when he recognized the tidy handwriting that lined the note.

Dearest Nymphadora,

Your kind words are appreciated. Sirius was a dear friend of mine and his loss has been very distressing. The hardest part of this is knowing how much misery he went through in his short life and how much he was looking forward to the end of this war and his chance at happiness and freedom. I only wish that you had the experience of knowing your cousin when he was young. The two of you would have gotten into all sorts of mischief had you attended school together, I'm sure. An Animagus AND a Metamorphmagus! I can't even imagine what sort of trickery would have befallen our fair alma mater.

In response to your question, yes, your family is more than welcome to stop by for a visit. Company is always appreciated during these troubling times and though I am an abhorrent cook I'm sure I could manage to put something together.

Remus

Harry placed the first note on the desk only to see three more like it. The second one gave him a small smirk.

Nymphadora,

No, I will not be addressing you by your last name although I feel that I should since I don't want to give the wrong impression. Visiting me with your mother is one thing but stopping by on your own, unannounced, in the middle of the night is quite another! As I have stated before, I am completely fine and capable of taking care of myself even on the day after a full moon. I apologize for yelling at you but your actions, however kind they may be, are unwanted. Please refrain from visiting me again,

Remus

Dora,

I'm sorry for not writing you sooner. I know I have been very distant with you and refusing to speak with you at Order meetings is a bit rude and childish. You have been nothing but kind to me and I'm afraid I'm not used to people paying such interest. If I didn't know better I would think you were trying to court me! Ridiculous, I know, but you can't fault an old man in thinking so after you just Apparate into my bedroom at one in the morning. Now I know it was merely because you were worried about me but after it had happened I was afraid that you might be harboring feelings for me. Thankfully that isn't the case and I'm horribly embarrassed that I acted so adolescently.

You were right to think the first full moon after Sirius' death was a very difficult time and I'm grateful that you cared enough to check in on me. Please give your parents my love,

Remus

Dora,

I suppose all I can say is that I'm utterly shocked. Delighted, of course, but also shocked. I also want to make sure you are absolutely certain that you know what you want. I can only imagine as a young girl nearly thirteen years my junior that you are the victim of a mere school girl crush. You're sweet, intelligent and charming and I'm thrilled by your interest but I don't believe you really know what a relationship with me might entail. To be honest, I don't really know myself as I have never ventured into these waters before. Dating is something completely foreign to me. However, your unyielding attention over the past few months has been a small joy I never thought to have. That being said, I don't want you to fall in love with a werewolf. You deserve much better and as flattered as I am, I could never bring you to tie yourself down to someone so potentially dangerous as well as someone who would not have the coin to purchase you a nice meal.

Yours Truly,

Remus.

Dora,

Fine, you win. Dinner would be lovely. I'll be over in an hour.

Remus.

It was too much. Too much for him to read, too much to remember, too much loss, too many fucking funerals and memorial services and too many loved ones whose lives had ended too soon.

Without thinking it through, Harry shoved the stack of parchment back into the desk drawer and rammed the thing closed. His eyes were completely brimming over with tears by now and he didn't even remember to turn off the lamp before rushing out of the cubicle and out of the Auror department completely. In fact, he didn't realize where he was until he was hammering on a large wooden door of an office on the other side of the building. After a moment, a young blue eyed man pushed the door ajar but didn't let him in.

"May I help you?" He stated in a snooty proper voice.

"Who the hell are you? Where's Hermione?" Harry was able to stammer out. His voice cracked a bit fully disclosing his tears, but if the man noticed his expression stayed blank.

"Miss Granger is currently occupied in an important matter. Please come back later." The man made to close the door but Harry shoved his arm in the way and tried to push his way past.

"Occupied with what?! Get out of my way!"

"She's in the middle of a phone call, now if you would…."

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are but...wait… a phone call?"

"Indeed." The man continued, completely unphased with Harry cursing at or pushing him. "If you don't mind, Mr. Potter, I have to ask you to leave. I will let her know you were here as soon as she's available."

Normally Harry would have backed down long before it had gotten to this point but he'd already had a pretty shite morning. That the blue eyed man was one of many strangers to know Harry by name and not bother to introduce themselves was just the last feather on the Hippogriff.

"LET ME IN!" He snapped, cramming his entire weight into the door. Finally the wanker seemed to get the hint and moved aside only causing Harry to stumble into a small waiting area about half the size of Tonks' cubicle. There was barely room for a desk and chair. Harry noted that of all things there was a flipping computer on the desk and a fairly modern looking one at that. He gawked at it for a moment before realizing that the other man was still standing beside him with a look on his face that would kill kittens.

"I'm beginning to get annoyed, Potter, and I don't….."

"Why do you have a computer? Is this some kind of joke?" Harry allowed his tone to calm a bit since he was genuinely curious. The other man stepped closer to him and it was only then that Harry realized that the blue eyed man looked familiar. He was also a good half a head taller than Harry.

"Being that this is the Muggle Liaison Office, we tend to have some Muggle technology about."

Harry grumbled at the rather vague explanation. "Pffft, Muggle technology, fuck me."

"Is there a problem, Mr. Potter? You happen to dislike Muggles?" The taller man raised his voice to half a yell and took another step forward. Harry lifted his arms to shove the man out of his face but stopped when he realized he was still holding the Tonks family photo. He stared at it briefly then removed his glasses to wipe his eyes with his sleeve as they had suddenly started to water again.

"Sorry." Harry grumbled, "I…. I've had a bad morning."

There was no response. Harry was looking at the ground and trying not to sob so he was surprised when he heard the man walk around him and open another door on the other side of the office.

"Miss Granger, do you have a minute? Potter's here to see you and he seems pretty upset."

There was a mumbled apology and the sound of a phone being hung up before Harry heard the familiar footsteps and voice of his bushy haired friend.

"Harry? Merlin, are you alright!? What happened?" She clasped his shoulders tightly and peered up into his eyes. He should have known that looking at her would make it worse but it was too late. The tears were flowing down his face like a window in a rainstorm and he was having difficulty trying to speak; like he couldn't figure out when to breath and when to talk.

"I…..I…..just…." He lifted one of her arms away from him in order to put the picture in her hand. She looked at it for a long moment before speaking very softly.

"Harry, where did you get this?"

"They...I… they…made me clean…..out her…things." He stammered.

Perhaps if it had been Ginny or any other girl or hell, even Ron, they probably would have just hugged him and allowed him to cry out his misery while patting his back and mumbling soft comforts. Well, Ron might not have done any mumbling but he would have taken the softer approach or so Harry believed. Hermione, on the other hand, had a touch of a temper.

"THEY DID WHAT?!" She screeched. It shocked him out of his tears. He put his glasses back on and saw that she was quivering. The picture frame clamped in her fingers like cat claws around a mouse.

"It wasn't…I don't think he meant to offend me."

"WHO?!"

"Hermione, it's not important. I was just not expecting to have to…."

"WHO MADE YOU DO IT?!"

"Ummm, I really don't think I should tell you. No offense, but you can get a bit…."

"HARRY POTTER, YOU BETTER TELL ME WHO MADE YOU CRY!" She had backed him up into the next room which Harry had to assume was her office. It was huge. Nearly three times the size of Robards' with not only a desk but a couch and two large sitting chairs. He turned to get a better look at the oversized desk and hopped over to examine a bronze name plaque.

HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER: Department Lead; Muggle Liaisons

"Hang on, did you get promoted?" He stammered.

"Don't change the subject!" She blurted, her edge dulling a tad.

"Bloody hell, Hermione, you're the head of the department! Why didn't you tell me?"

Now it was her turn to stammer.

"I….um...well…." Suddenly deflated of her anger, Harry saw the pride begin to spark in her eyes. "It really isn't that big of a deal."

"Are you insane? This is brilliant! Look at your office. You have a couch and a window and a….." his eyes stalled on the blue eyed man who was still standing in the doorway calmly watching the two of them, "a secretary."

"Assistant." The man corrected him, eyes narrowing. Hermione spun to snap at the fellow.

"Theodore! How long have you been standing there?! Get...get back to work!"

Theodore snorted before removing himself to the closet sized room in front and closing the door. Hermione gave a large sigh and collapsed on the black leather couch.

"I'm sorry, Harry, Theodore's usually very polite. Too polite. I don't know what made him think he could suddenly start spying on us."

"Because he's a mother f...wait, Theodore? As in Theodore Nott?" No wonder the man looked so familiar. At his accusation Hermione only shrugged. "As in the son of a Death Eater, Theodore Nott, or please tell me there's another one because there's no way Nott would be your secretary."

"Assistant."

"What?"

"He's my assistant. And no one's told me but I'm pretty sure he's assigned to me as a sort of messed up punishment." She lifted one hand, "Death Eater child, here, you get to work for Muggle born child." She lifted her other hand to represent herself. "Although, he surprisingly knows a lot about Muggle technology."

Harry didn't buy that for a minute and simply frowned at her.

"No, I'm serious!" She continued. "He understands how the internet works and even hooked up a phone line. He hooked it up inside the Ministry, Harry, even you have to admit that's pretty impressive."

Harry plopped down next to her while looking over his shoulder at the wooden door that separated them from Nott.

"So, pure-blood prick and best friend of Draco Malfoy is setting up Muggle internet and phone connections for you of all people." Harry mused.

"Did I say that it made any sense?"

Harry sighed. "How long has this been going on?"

At his question, Hermione scuffed her feet against the floor and wouldn't look at him."About five weeks." She finally admitted. Harry groaned.

"Is he the reason you didn't tell me about getting promoted. Didn't want me to come attack your new lapdog?"

"NO! I mean, I knew you weren't going to be happy about it."

"His father's a fucking Death Eater! The man tried to attack us in the Department of Mysteries! Hell, he may even have been in the final battle. Probably killed some people we know, I mean, knew."

"I know that!" She scolded. "But his father's in Azkaban, Harry, and Theodore never killed anyone. It doesn't mean I like him very much but he's not a murderer. Honestly though that's not the reason why I didn't tell you."

"You thought I'd be jealous?" Harry crossed his arms and stared at her while she continued to scuff her feet. "Really?"

"Well no, not you." She mumbled.

Harry actually managed to smirk a bit. "You were worried I was going to tell Ron. Like Ron would care how amazing your office is or that you have a minion."

Hermione finally raised her eyes to him."You'd be surprised."

Harry snorted. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?" He knew the two of them had been avoiding one another. Ron and Hermione had been living together up until two months ago when Hermione kicked him out of her house for reasons neither of them would admit to. Something along the lines of 'it's complicated' or 'none of your business' or 'bugger off, Harry'.

"It means exactly what it sounds like. Ron's jealous that my career is going better than his. He doesn't like it that I'm making more than him."

Harry highly doubted that. Ron was a traditionalist but he wasn't someone who expected Hermione to dampen her ambitions just for him. "You're not telling me the whole story." He accused her.

"Well, you're not telling me who made you clean up Tonks' things!"

Fair enough."It doesn't matter anyway, I'm not going to be an Auror anymore."

"WHAT?! Harry, it's your first day! You can't just give up. Just because some arsehat wants to make you miserable doesn't mean you can say 'sod it all, I'm going home.'"

She was right of course. Hermione was always right, damn her. "Well, what am I going to do? Run back over there and tell them to suck it?"

"That's a good start." She laughed. When he didn't move to stand up she punched his shoulder affectionately. "Come on, he can't be that bad. It's not like he's Umbridge or something. Not meaning to say you're overreacting a bit but you have dealt with a lot worse."

Harry rose with a sigh. "Really? Overreacting, am I? Have you talked to your friend the kettle lately, Miss Pot?"

"He made you cry!" She quipped. "And as soon as I find out who he is I'll be having some words with the higher ups on his behalf." She was smiling but Harry could tell she wasn't completely kidding.

"Please don't." He said. Before completely leaving her office he took the picture frame back from where she had dropped it on the couch. "But I appreciate the offer."